It's been how many days since I arrived here? Two, yes two, and I'm out of the infirmary, I'm still taking anti biotics for the bronchitis, but I've got my strength back, added endurance willd o that for you, and after my miraculous improvement this morning, no one questioned me when I said I was alright for taking their obstacle course tommorow.

Only bobby and me know the real story behind that Improvement.

It was early morning, he always seemed to volunteer for that shift, It was when I usually woke up, I don't sleep very well I go to bed early most day, and wake up early too, and maybe he knows that, maybe he knows I feel so much more comfortable talking to him than anyone else in the x men, maybe because he's my age, an rogue is well… she's but, she's depressing. Bobby is the opposite he always knows just what to say to make you feel better to make you laugh; looking at them I wonder who they could ever have been a couple.

Ororo told me that, that they dated.

Ororo, she's like a mother to me, and jean is like a big sister.

I can't even remember my real mother anymore.

I turn on the shower in my new room, their considering me for the x-men rather than just the school, I mean Logan did it, and anyway I need rest that I won't get in a dorm room for a few days so Jean suggested to Xavier or perhaps I should start calling him uncle, I just can't somehow, bring myself to call him father, There's something about him that makes me uncomfortable. Xavier, our grand and gracious benefactor, or our jailor whichever way you chose to look at it.

I've just never been comfortable with authority.

The It feels wonderful to have the water pounding onto my skin, soothing taunght muscles refreshing me.

I can't believe it can feel so good just to be clean,
I can't believe I haven't had a proper shower like this, (one that doesn't consist of barely a trickle of water or being dumped in a cold river at dawn.) in four years.

I can't believe this is how my life turned out.


And suddenly I let out a small whimper, fall to the bottom of the battub, crawl back into the corner hug my knees, rock my self and cry and scream and bawl like a baby.
BECAUSE it's not fair, it just isn't. I was 14, 14 year olds are supposed to worry about acne and boyfriends not whether they'll still be alive tomorrow, or whether they've worked hard enough for a meal that day.

It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair,


It's not fair.