What were we smoking

What were we smoking???

Written by: Magus II, Kami-San, and Awesome Taro

Part Three:

Sirius Returns (Again)

(This story was written in the schizophrenic manner of AOL Instant Messaging. What you see is an exact transcript of the entire conversation. I think we tell some sort of story too, but if you're trying to apply logic, you'd better reread the title.)

"What if we get someone else to persuade him to undo the curse?"

"Like who? Professor Snape? With our luck, he's been changed into something even worse than Malfoy. Who'd help us, besides Dumbledore?" Dumbledore was currently somewhere in Europe, helping Madame Maxime be an envoy to the giants.

"Well, no one comes immediately to mind…"

"What about Sirius?"

"Ssh! Call him Snuffles, remember?"

"Why would you call him Snuffles, when Black is a perfectly humiliating name already?"

Harry, Ron, and Hermione whirled around to see Snape, tall, dark, and menacing, looming over them. His skin was green with black dots and his face was purple-white. Odd, insect-like wings folded down his back, and a weird sort of tail poked out between them. They knew that Snape/Cell had indeed been transformed into something much worse than Malfoy. Snape, however, seemed unaware that he was seven feet tall with green skin. He was acting as if nothing at all were out of the ordinary. Except for Sirius, of course.

"I thought that he was off somewhere tropical," Snape sneered, his lip curling. "Ten points from Gryffindor for consorting with a convicted murderer."

"What?!?" All three of them cried out at once. Snape laughed.

"Fifteen, and a detention each if I hear one more word." Snape set off down the hallway, his black wings moving from side to side.

"Ooh, that great bloody ass," Ron said, glaring down the hallway after him. "He knows perfectly well that Sirius is on our side."

"Just ignore him. Once the curse gets undone, time will revert back to the way it was before the curse was performed. So those points won't count."

"Odd, though," mused Harry, "he doesn't seem to have noticed that he's turned tall, dark and ugly."

"He's always been that way, it's not much of a change." Harry, Ron, and Hermione laughed as they walked toward the Owlery. On the way, they decided to send Hedwig to Sirius and ask him to come and help them out. Hedwig, however, had been transformed into a very disturbing cat with bunny ears. She was muching away on a pile of carrots when Harry called her over and tied the letter to her leg. The cat-bunny thing meowed in pleasure, and jumped out of the door before turning into a large spaceship and flying away. Five minutes later, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were still standing in shock looking out of the window when Hedwig the Cat-Bunny-Spaceship- -Thing swooped down onto the lawn, dumped a figure onto the grass, and then changed back into a cat thing and flew in the window. They backed out slowly and ran down to the lawn, where Sirius had been unceremoniously dumped onto the lawn. As he stood up and brushed himself off, he saw Harry running toward him.

"Harry! Ron! Hermione! What in the name of Nine Hells happened?" Inu-Yasha/Sirius stood up.

AHAHAHAHAH!!! THAT'S GREAT!! I LOVE THE IRONY!

You left the Caps Lock on again, Awesome.

And don't give it away! We want it to be subtle, not blatant!

BUT THEY'RE BOTH HALF DOG!! I LOVE IT!

Shut up NOW, Awesome!

And turn off Caps Lock!

SORRY.

"Malfoy did this weird spell and everyone turned into anime characters!" Harry explained. Sirius sniffed the air. He seemed creepy, more… demonic than normal.

"Well, I don't really know what to do. The only way would be to make Malfoy undo the spell." Sirius snarled at a tentacle of the giant squid rising out of the lake.
"And the only way he would do that is if Snape told him to," said Ron.

"And Snape's turned into Perfect Cell!"

"Well, if anyone around has been changed into Gohan, we could get them to fight each other," Sirius said.

Someone had been changed into Gohan. Unfortunately, at the moment he was fighting with his younger brother Dennis about who would get to give Harry the "Potter Doesn't Stink" badges they had finally managed to fix.

* * *

Don't you dare give it away, Awesome.

WHO, ME?? (MAKES INNOCENT FACE)

Is that your trademark now? Capital letters?

YES.

(sigh)

(sigh)

(Note: Don't be annoyed, because you might hate authors that scream "review my story" into your face, but…

REVIEW OUR STORY!!!!!!!! NOW!