Sonic Nightmares
By "Grand Master Shoma"
By "Judge Neusy"
We'll be blunt: We don't own these characters, but we own this fanfic. Don't steal it.
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Ah... the night. The time for sleep. Were our favorite little critters can rest up, and attack the new day with high hopes. But sometimes... their beautiful dreams may not always be too beautiful... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Man, I'm on too much sugar.
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Tails: (fluffs pillow) Ahh... Time for sleepy-bye! (plops onto bed and, you guessed it, sleeps)
Sonic: Oh yes... Oh yes... a bed feels so nice on my buttocks. *sigh* I'm glad I bum with Tails!
(in the shack next to the pond in the Mystic Ruins)
Shadow: What a life! Another day, another poke at Sonic pointing him out to be the faker that he is, another try at taking Tails and making him my sidekick, another putdown for Knuckles to lower his self-esteem, another fat joke to implement Eggman and his obesity, another day for taking care of my Chao. (remembers) Oh, Shady. You crack me up, especially when you bit Sonic in the ankle. (stretch) Well, time for sleepy-bye. (thoughts: I can't believe I said sleepy-bye)
(In Eggman's house in the neighborhood)
Eggman: I will be proud the day I rid the world of that hedgehog, and conquer it in a fair and just manner. And lose a pound. (confident) I'm climbing the ladder to success!! In the morning... (dozes off)
(In a small apartment)
Amy: (passing room which holds an entire shrine, dedicated to Sonic) Good night, my little Sonikku (kisses voodoo doll that takes a liking to Sonic)
(back at Tails' house)
Sonic: (in sleep, trying to shoo something away)
(In another small apartment)
Rouge: Just you wait, Knuckles. The day I steal your Master Emerald, (gets all lovey-dovey) the day I steal your heart.
(On the Floating Island)
Knuckles: (sits next to the Master Emerald, SA sized) Well, good night my little Master Emerald.
M.E.: (in a hoarse tone) Good night.
Knuckles: (startled) That's not right...
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And that, is when everyone lulls off into a state of bliss without the extermination of the soul. (or Nirvana, in terms)
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Tails: (shaking in sleep) No... no... no... stop...
[dissipate into dream sequence, or d.i.d.s.]
Tails: Eggman! Where's Sonic!?
Eggman: If you want to know, then get off my new (devilish) hedgehog-skin rug!
Tails: (looks down to see the skinned rug form of his idol, hero, and best friend) OH... MY... GOD!! I'll never forgive you for this Eggman!!!
Eggman: (still devilish) I don't think so. Now that Sonic is out of the way, I'm the young and hip dude whom everyone loves! (pulls out a gun) And to guarantee that, I have created the (trumpets blaring) EGG-FANBOY-RAY!!
Tails: WHAT!?
Eggman: With this, people will love me! (concentrates rays onto Tails) Now! Love me!!
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Sonic: (lying in sweat still sleeping) Oh... man, that's good...
[d.i.d.s]
Sonic: (eating chili dogs) Oh man, these are good!
(out appears a dragon made entirely of hot dog wieners)
HD Dragon: RRRROOOOAAARR!!!!!
Sonic: Oh no! Is this the end of Sonic the--
(Tails' high pitch scream is entering his dream.)
Tails: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HD Dragon: You better go check on him.
Sonic: Got it.
[end d.s.]
Sonic: (wakes up while in the background is Tails screaming his lungs out) What's a chili dog? (realizes scream) TAILS! Shut up. (goes up to Tails) You okay Ta-- HEHEHEHEHEHE! Your tails are fluffed beyond recognition!
Tails: (calming down) Maybe I'll go for a walk. (going out Metal Gear Solid style since he's afraid that men who are shaped like eggs will make him a fanboy)
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Shadow: (sleep) No... no... make it stop... where the hell am... I?
[d.i.d.s.]
Shadow: (looks at his surroundings which looks like a nice neighborhood next to a abandoned still functioning school) Where the hell am I?
Eerie Little Girl: (inviting) Come with us.
Shadow: (getting scared) Wh, where are you taking me!?
Eerie Little Boy: (eerier) Were going to the school...
Shadow: School?
Eerie Little Girl: (still eerie) We like to stay after school even though were not allowed to, otherwise we get caught by the police.
Shadow: Are you drugged convicts?
Eerie Little Boy: Were taking you to 'him'. (takes him inside) We got another one.
Shadow: (seeing who 'he' was) No... my god, NO!!!!
Barney the Dinosaur: (stupid-ass happy tone) Hello there!! You're going to be my newest bitch!
Shadow: NNOOOOOO!!!!!
[end d.i.d.s.]
Shadow: AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! (calms down, and gets grip on reality) Oh... ha ha, it was all a dream... God, I'm adding him to my list. (pulls out a list of celebrities whom he hates, on the top being Regis Philbin, Lisa Kudrow, and Sonic) You're my number one now!
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Amy: (still sleeping, but looks like she's trying to embrace something)
[d.i.d.s.]
Scene almost looks like a bedroom from a soap opera like 'Days From Our Lives'.
Sonic: (holding Amy's hand) Amy?
Amy: Yes, my little Sonikku?
Sonic: I love you. (kisses Amy full on the lips)
[end d.i.d.s]
Amy: Oh, my, what a wonderful dream. This only propels me further to chase after my little Sonikku.
[end second d.i.d.s.]
Amy: (screams) No!!! It can't be!! I was close! (gets a grip on reality) Wait a minute... How was that a nightmare?
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Knuckles: (shaking, moving around in sleep, mumbling words) No... must... protect... the Master Emerald... cannot... let... threat... exist...
[d.i.d.s.]
Knuckles: (in a wedding scene, him wearing a tuxedo standing next to his bride) I do.
Priest: (looking at bride) Do you, Rouge the Bat, take this--
Rouge: (wearing sexy-looking bridal gown) I do.
Priest: Wow! I didn't even get to finish. Well anyway, let's continue. If there is to be anyone who does not want these two to be wed in holy matrimony, speak now, or forever hold your peace. (while he was saying this, Sonic, who was not dressed in a tuxedo, was waving his hands, saying "Ooh! I have something to say! Yo! Priesty! Over here!!" repeatedly!)
What is it, Sonic?
Sonic: Do you know where the--
Priest: For the fifth time, the nachos are over there, (pointing) right next to the Master Emerald!
Sonic: SWEET!
Priest: Now, place the rings on (when Knuckles tries to, it evaporates into Rouge because it's the Sonic universe), and you may kiss the bride. (continues speaking while the two are semi-making out) Then, make hot animal love! (triumphant) And create a new race of bat-echidnas!
[end d.i.d.s.]
Knuckles: (head facing down the stairs, body on the stairs; confused) Why would there be nachos at my wedding?
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Rouge: (panicking in sleep) No.. no... make it stop...
[d.i.d.s.]
Reporter: So, Rouge. I hear that you have retired on being the "World's greatest Treasure Hunter".
Rouge: (sounding like a supermodel) That's right, Kent!
Reporter: And, uh, I heard that you were--
Rouge: That's right! I've converted my career from 'Treasure Hunter' to bathing old, dirty men who think their swingers but in reality are not.
Eggman: That's right! And I'm single!
[end d.i.d.s.]
Rouge: (scream like a ear-piercing harpy; breaking glass)
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Eggman: (laying there, smiling in sleep) Oh... yes... yes... YES!
[d.i.d.s.]
Eggman: (admiring trophies on the wall, wearing tacky clothing) Ah yes... These were all great catches! Now, I will add the greatest catch to my wall. (hangs a new trophy onto the wall, which is revealed to be the head of Tails, along with the other 'catches'; Shadow, Rouge, Knuckles, and Amy) Now, let me go and get my greatest trophy of all. (shows a plaque reserved for Sonic The Hedgehog)
Sonic: (busts through door) WHERE'S TAILS!?
Eggman: (expecting him) Why, whatever do you mean, Sonic? (brings out a lifelike Tails doll) Tails is right here, (grinning evilly) alive and well!
Sonic: (tears bursting) Tails!! You're alive!! (squeezes doll hard enough to screw head off) Wh, WHAT kind of joke is this!?
Eggman: Are you looking for this? (reveals the head of Tails)
Sonic: (tears forming) No... NO!
Eggman: And have you noticed my dress coat? (finally reveals to show an orange colored fur coat) And look! (shows his rear) TWO TAILS!!
Sonic: (tears flooding through in a dramatic point; turning super) YOU KILLED TAILS! I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS A LONG TIME AGO!! I'LL SEE TO IT, THAT YOU ARE DESTROYED!!
Eggman: (war cry) COME AND GET IT!!! (dramatic charge into Super Sonic)
[end d.i.d.s.]
Eggman: (wakes up) What a delightful little romp. I'll go for a walk!
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The cold streets at about 2 in the morning.
Tails: (shaking because of his bad dream) Calm down, Tails. It was only a bad dream. Yes... Only a bad--(walks right into fat person) Ow.
Eggman: Oh, sorry kid.
Tails: That's alright... (realizes its Eggman; breathes in and then screams) AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
Eggman: What? I said I was sorry.
Tails: Don't play me as a fool, Eggman! You're trying to make me into your little fanboy!!
Eggman: (confused) Fanboy?
Tails: (points to Eggman's pocket) And don't you dare bring out that gun, otherwise, I'll kick your ass!
Eggman: I don't have anything with me except my wallet... (scavenges through pockets) Where's my wallet?
Tails: (smiles triumphantly) I got it! Since I thought you had a fanboy gun, I'd pick-pocketed your pocket!
Eggman: (starts getting angry) Come here, you little shit! (starts chasing after Tails)
Tails: AAAAHHH!!!
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(In this scene, Sonic is sleeping peacefully... until some outside noises seems to wake up Sonic, getting him angry)
Sonic: (getting pissed while waking up) Uh... Who's talking? What's that noise!? DAMN IT!
Eggman: (outside; holding Tails like a cub) You're going to die now, little fox! Give me back my wallet!
Tails: No! You know I'm useless in this position! Why do people, like you, grab me in this position? Help!!!
Sonic: (madly opens window) WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP!? THERE'S SOME HEDGEHOGS TRYING TO SLEEP!
Shadow: (in the distance) You go, boyfriend!
Tails: But Sonic--
Sonic: I, DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!
Eggman: You don't quite understand--
Sonic: SHUT IT! TAILS, KICK EGGMAN'S ASS! EGGMAN, MAKE SURE YOUR ASS GETS KICKED BY TAILS! THANK YOU! GOOD NIGHT! (slams window)
Tails: Well, you heard him. (cans Eggman)
Eggman: (holds himself) Oh, my crotch! I (falls over) wasn't ready... I want my wallet back!
Tails: Okay. (throws it to his face; sees the empty wallet) You poor, dirty thirty-something!
Eggman: Ooooohhh...
The pointless End!
