Hello, welcome, I love you! Not really. But, hey, who cares? It's
Christmas Eve, we're having a party, the guests are all downstairs, and I'm
up here writing a fanfic. Screwy, ain't it. Anyways, here's my first FFIX
and first humorous fic. ::twirls hands and bows:: Enjoy! Oh, and we can't
forget:
De Disclaima: Nunna dem final fantasy charactas is belongin' ta me, okay? Except for Jenna. She's MINE. If you were going to name your waitress Jenna, too bad. Change it to Jane or something.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Déjà Vu
As Zidane was walking through the streets of Alexandria, he was singing to himself. "A voice from the past, joining yours and - eurgh..." His stomach rumbled loudly. "Hmm... I need to get me some good eats!!!!" he said, and ran off to the restaurant.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Once inside and seated, he looked up at the waitress. "May I take your order?" she said with a smile.
"Why, of course," Zidane said. "I'll have the usual."
"Anything to drink?"
Zidane paused. "The usual."
"Kay," she said, writing it down on her pad. "Be back in a sec."
She literally was back in a sec. It seemed to Zidane that she had only gone through the swinging doors to the kitchen when she emerged with a plate of fries and a beer.
"Thank you, dear," Zidane said.
"You're welcome," she replied, beaming. As she was turning to head back, though, Zidane called out to her.
"Say, what's your name?"
She turned around. "Jenna," she answered.
"Well, Jenna," said Zidane, turning around to face her, "have you ever been on an airship cruise?"
Jenna paused hesitantly. "Airship? No, I don't believe so."
"Oh, you've got to see it," Zidane said with excitement. "We can fly over Lindblum, and the view is amazing.. Uh-oh," he said.
"Zidane? Zidane, are you in here?"
"Dagger!!! Quick, come here, before she gets in here!" Zidane grabbed his beer and herded Jenna over to the nearest hiding place, which just happened to be a broom closet. "C'mon, hurry up!"
They had gotten in just in time. Just as Zidane closed the door, he heard Dagger's voice. "Zidane? You here?" He heard her walk up to the counter. "Excuse me, sir, but is Zidane here?"
"Yeah, he's in that broom closet."
"Okay, thanks!"
"Crap!" Zidane said. He looked around fervently, and then grabbed a blanket. "Here," he said, handing it to Jenna, "put this on."
Zidane heard the door creak open. Dagger's face appeared in front of his.
"Hey babe," he said. "Whassup?"
Dagger looked at him suspiciously. "What are you doing in here?"
"Eh... I'm... uh..." Zidane said nervously. "I'm just, ah... drinking this beer! In a broom closet! Next to a pile of blankets!" He rubbed his hand on his belly. "Mmm... Dee-lish!"
Dagger looked at him. "Alright, if you say so. But you need to come back to the castle soon, Steiner wants a word with you."
"Oh, okay," Zidane said, relieved. "Yeah, I'll be up in a bit!" He held up his beer again. "Just lemme finish my drink."
"Alright. See ya later." She closed the door.
Zidane waited until Dagger's footsteps died to breathe a sigh of relief and say to Jenna, "Alright, you can come out now." Jenna then de- blanketed herself. Over the rustling of the blankets, Zidane didn't hear a voice outside.
"Hmm..." said Dagger.
Zidane turned to Jenna. "Now, about that airship cruise..."
All of the sudden, the door flew open. "AHA!!!" said Dagger. "Gotcha!"
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Zidane and Dagger were in her room in Alexandria Castle. Dagger was looking extremely angry, and Zidane was looking extremely nervous.
"This isn't the first time this has happened, is it," she said dangerously.
"It isn't?" Zidane said. "I mean, of course it is! I was just-"
"Shut up," Dagger snapped. "I know what's been going on," she added in a singsong voice, brandishing her Tiger Racket.
"Um... Dagger? You might want to put that away," Zidane said. "You could hurt somebody."
"I know what you've been doing," she went on, ignoring him. "You think I don't notice, do you?"
"I-I don't know what you're talking about, Dagger," Zidane stammered.
"Oh, yes you do," Dagger replied. "You've been playing me for the fool, all this time, AND I'M TIRED OF IT!!!"
With that she raised her racket over her head and yelled something. There was a blinding flash of blue light, then Dagger disappeared. Zidane was left standing there, having been turned into an oglop with a long monkey tail. He waddled over to the chair by the window and hopped up on it to have a better view. He just saw Dagger, racing off the castle grounds on his gold chocobo.
Zidane slumped his tiny shoulders in defeat.
"Dammit gwok."
De Disclaima: Nunna dem final fantasy charactas is belongin' ta me, okay? Except for Jenna. She's MINE. If you were going to name your waitress Jenna, too bad. Change it to Jane or something.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Déjà Vu
As Zidane was walking through the streets of Alexandria, he was singing to himself. "A voice from the past, joining yours and - eurgh..." His stomach rumbled loudly. "Hmm... I need to get me some good eats!!!!" he said, and ran off to the restaurant.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Once inside and seated, he looked up at the waitress. "May I take your order?" she said with a smile.
"Why, of course," Zidane said. "I'll have the usual."
"Anything to drink?"
Zidane paused. "The usual."
"Kay," she said, writing it down on her pad. "Be back in a sec."
She literally was back in a sec. It seemed to Zidane that she had only gone through the swinging doors to the kitchen when she emerged with a plate of fries and a beer.
"Thank you, dear," Zidane said.
"You're welcome," she replied, beaming. As she was turning to head back, though, Zidane called out to her.
"Say, what's your name?"
She turned around. "Jenna," she answered.
"Well, Jenna," said Zidane, turning around to face her, "have you ever been on an airship cruise?"
Jenna paused hesitantly. "Airship? No, I don't believe so."
"Oh, you've got to see it," Zidane said with excitement. "We can fly over Lindblum, and the view is amazing.. Uh-oh," he said.
"Zidane? Zidane, are you in here?"
"Dagger!!! Quick, come here, before she gets in here!" Zidane grabbed his beer and herded Jenna over to the nearest hiding place, which just happened to be a broom closet. "C'mon, hurry up!"
They had gotten in just in time. Just as Zidane closed the door, he heard Dagger's voice. "Zidane? You here?" He heard her walk up to the counter. "Excuse me, sir, but is Zidane here?"
"Yeah, he's in that broom closet."
"Okay, thanks!"
"Crap!" Zidane said. He looked around fervently, and then grabbed a blanket. "Here," he said, handing it to Jenna, "put this on."
Zidane heard the door creak open. Dagger's face appeared in front of his.
"Hey babe," he said. "Whassup?"
Dagger looked at him suspiciously. "What are you doing in here?"
"Eh... I'm... uh..." Zidane said nervously. "I'm just, ah... drinking this beer! In a broom closet! Next to a pile of blankets!" He rubbed his hand on his belly. "Mmm... Dee-lish!"
Dagger looked at him. "Alright, if you say so. But you need to come back to the castle soon, Steiner wants a word with you."
"Oh, okay," Zidane said, relieved. "Yeah, I'll be up in a bit!" He held up his beer again. "Just lemme finish my drink."
"Alright. See ya later." She closed the door.
Zidane waited until Dagger's footsteps died to breathe a sigh of relief and say to Jenna, "Alright, you can come out now." Jenna then de- blanketed herself. Over the rustling of the blankets, Zidane didn't hear a voice outside.
"Hmm..." said Dagger.
Zidane turned to Jenna. "Now, about that airship cruise..."
All of the sudden, the door flew open. "AHA!!!" said Dagger. "Gotcha!"
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Zidane and Dagger were in her room in Alexandria Castle. Dagger was looking extremely angry, and Zidane was looking extremely nervous.
"This isn't the first time this has happened, is it," she said dangerously.
"It isn't?" Zidane said. "I mean, of course it is! I was just-"
"Shut up," Dagger snapped. "I know what's been going on," she added in a singsong voice, brandishing her Tiger Racket.
"Um... Dagger? You might want to put that away," Zidane said. "You could hurt somebody."
"I know what you've been doing," she went on, ignoring him. "You think I don't notice, do you?"
"I-I don't know what you're talking about, Dagger," Zidane stammered.
"Oh, yes you do," Dagger replied. "You've been playing me for the fool, all this time, AND I'M TIRED OF IT!!!"
With that she raised her racket over her head and yelled something. There was a blinding flash of blue light, then Dagger disappeared. Zidane was left standing there, having been turned into an oglop with a long monkey tail. He waddled over to the chair by the window and hopped up on it to have a better view. He just saw Dagger, racing off the castle grounds on his gold chocobo.
Zidane slumped his tiny shoulders in defeat.
"Dammit gwok."
