Author's Note: Sailor Moon and Card Captor fans might be a bit disappointed; this is mostly a Jackie Chan chapter. However, I hope you enjoy it anyway. It kind of evolved, and it IS relevant. Also, next chapter will feature notes about the Ratso/Finn controversy, which has been brought to my attention a few times (not just Chris, but thanks to him or her for mentioning it, you prompted some extra and interesting JCA research that spawned this chapter.). So far, I maintain that I have them right because the website says so, and I never really figured it out from the show, and there will be more on this next chapter. However, since it's been mentioned quite a few times, and I am a stickler for perfection, I'm looking into it and will make changes later, if necessary.

Also, new chapters of my other two original novels will be up soon, I promise. I know, I've been taking a while, I'm not going to leave y'all hanging!

Anyway, thanks to all of you for reading! Enjoy.



***Gizjhang, Lan Tao***

They had barely made it off the boat and into town when Black's cellphone rang. Neither Jackie nor Uncle paid much attention to the conversation, but it was just a series of grunts anyway. They were paying more attention to the lights of New Kowloon and Victoria across the bay, grounded stars over an inky black sea.

The port town was rather quiet, the only sounds coming from a few taverns down the docks. Stray animals ran around the all-but-deserted boathouse, and tired workers impatiently awaited the departure of this last ship of the evening. The sun had set more than an hour ago, and the dark waters were difficult for the small boats to navigate at night.

"We've got trouble," Black said, done with the phone.

"What's the matter?" Jackie asked, a feeling of dread increasing its vice- grip on his gut.

"Jade is missing,"

"How did I know you were going to say that," Jackie replied grimly.

"Finding Jade not hard," Uncle announced. "Find trouble first. Jade will follow."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Jackie said. "What if she's in some kind of trouble now? What if she's been kidnapped or attacked - " Jackie could have gone on with a million different demises, but Black cut him off.

"We have a team of agents on it already," he said. "There's really nothing we can do from here, and we've got a mission to carry out."

Something snapped inside Jackie at that moment, something born of these gruesome images that were running through his head. It flooded his body with a white heat, clouded his vision with rage.

"No, Black," he retorted. "YOU have a mission. I don't work for Section Thirteen. I'm an archaeologist, and an uncle, and I have responsibilities. My niece is in trouble. I HAVE to find her."

"Well, with the Shadowkhan in circulation, I'd be more worried about her being in their hands," Black replied evenly, his voice a menacing monotone. "And if our intelligence is correct, they're probably headed for what we're looking for."

"Jade is, too," Uncle said. "Listen to Uncle. Jade eager to help. Jade ALWAYS eager to help, no matter what."

"You think she might have found her way here?" Jackie asked him, only half surprised.

"That sounds like Jade," Black shook his head. "If only she weren't eleven." he chuckled.

"Good," Jackie grabbed his hiking pack and slung it over his shoulder. "I'm going to go find Jade."

Suddenly Black was in front of him, blocking his path.

"I can't let you do that, Jackie," he said. "I need you here."

"I have responsibilities, Agent Black," Jackie said, in a tone that brooked no argument. "I can't run around playing James Bond anymore."

"Jac-KIE!"

It was the one thing that could really stop Jackie on command. He turned to face Uncle, bracing himself for a very strict admonition.

"What did I say about lying, hm?" Uncle demanded, one finger up, his face stern. "Head see, heart soar - "

"My HEAD is going to soar if Jade gets hurt, or even." He trailed off at Uncle's stern stance.

When he was satisfied that Jackie was sufficiently cowed, he continued, "Jackie stop lying. Stay with Uncle. Stay with Black. Path to mission includes Jade."

"Look, Jackie," Black said, holding up his hands in resignation. "I know you're worried about Jade. I am too. That little girl is one of the most talented, brightest kids I know. Even if she's with the Dark Hand, how many times has she escaped from them before?"

Jackie looked from one to the other, his chest heaving with the effort of his anger. A million conflicting thoughts ran through his mind: that they were right, that Jade was still in trouble, that something had to be done. Rooted to the spot by his frustration, he could feel it welling inside him like a volcano about to burst. Which way to turn? What to do?

Jade, he thought to himself. When I find you, I'm going to spank you so hard.

Finally, he said, "I'm going on ahead. I want to find Jade. I'll double back for you."

"But, Jackie, we need to meet with our contact in a couple of hours!" Black called after him.

"Fine," Jackie called back. "Get a hotel. I'll meet you."

"You don't even know - " Black called once more, but sighed as Jackie turned a corner and disappeared out of sight. "Where to go," he finished lamely, looking at Uncle.

"I guess it's you and me, old man," he told the skinny Chinese antiquitor.

Uncle shook his head. "Jackie should know better," he said. "Always listen to Uncle."

Picking up his own luggage, Black turned to the old man. "We have to go to a dive called The Mandarin. It's run by a contact of ours, known only as Hairspray. She should have some equipment for us."

"Bla-ack," Uncle said, holding up that one pointer finger that seemed to be the source of all his wisdom. When Black looked, he began, "Only magick can - "

"I know," Black replied, heading down the docks toward all the noise. "However, this equipment can FIND magick."

Starting after him, a small satchel of his own over his shoulder, Uncle asked, "Find magick?"

Black nodded as the old man caught up. "The last studies Section Three published, about five years ago, were about how magick runs on electromagnetic frequencies, very subtle ones. The equipment is a bunch of sensors made from the original Section Three prototype. Like metal detectors, except these are magick detectors."

Uncle shook his head. "Only magick can find magick," he said. "Machines don't have magick. Machines don't have life. Magick needs life to sustain."

"You mean magick is deadly?" Black asked, cocking his head to one side. He knew he'd had a good reason to bring this irritating old diddy along.

"No, no, no," Uncle shook his head. "Better way to say - magick needs NATURE to sustain. Plants, trees, people, all live and breathe. Metals, too. But as you uproot tree from earth, so it dies. Is same if mine metal and make machine."

"Well, do you have any better ideas?" Black stopped in his tracks and turned to Uncle.

Uncle grinned widely. "Remember, only magick - "

"I got it! Now what do you have in mind?" Black asked, his exasperation beginning to break through his normally-calm demeanor.

"Small village, on other end of island," Uncle said. "Legend says is all mages. Formed by legendary Chinese Empress, Song Lin Tzu."

"I don't have time for legends - "

"Not so legendary," Uncle pointed to a poster that dominated the door of one of the warehouses they'd passed. It was all in the characters of the local dialect, but had pictures of acrobats, Chinese dragons, and twirlers, all overseen by a feminine figure in a Chinese mask. Black took it all in, then turned back to Uncle.

"That's all Chinese to me," he said.

Uncle narrowed his eyes at the remark, muttering "Black night job as comedian. Don't quit day job."

Adjusting his glasses and clearing his throat, he commenced the translation: "'Festival of Crying Goddess. Acrobats, firebreathers, and finest swordsmen in China. Held at Temple of Crying Goddess, Valley of Shrieking Souls.'"

"That sounds like a friendly place," Black observed. "So that's your legendary village?"

"No, one more thing," Uncle said, reading on: "'And join citizens of Qinzong Li in festival honoring Clow Reed.'"

"Okay, you lost me,"

Uncle strode up to the poster, and tore it from the wall. He rolled it up and added it to the contents of his satchel. He turned to Black.

"We meet your friend. I explain on way,"

Black nodded, and they began walking to the noise again. It was getting progressively louder as they got closer; they could hear what sounded like a riot coming from that direction as well.

"Alright," Black said. "Go on. What is all that stuff you just said?"

"Long time ago, Song Dynasty rule China," Uncle explained. "Golden age during reign of Empress Lin Tzu, who was scholar, artist, mage, warrior all at once. Formed school for mages here in Lan Tao, appointed court mage dean. Much Chinese magick made in school. Maybe even talismans."

"Okay, but what does that have to do with Section Three?" Black sighed. Uncle could be so long-winded, sometimes.

"Very powerful weapons made there. Then, suddenly, gone. Song Dynasty, mages, weapons, everything. Mysterious."

"Yes, very," Black was now losing patience. "Does this story have a point?"

"Clow Reed court mage, dean of mages school," Uncle said triumphantly. "Qinxong Li mages school. QINXONG LI IS SAME AS CLOW REED. Means same thing."

Black's eyes widened. "So you think this village to the west is the mages school? This Qinxong Li place?"

Uncle nodded. "Is possible. One more thing,"

"What?"

"Festival to Crying Goddess very potent Chinese magick. Could be target for Section Three?"

"Then tell me more about it," Black said.

"Legend from Song Dynasty," Uncle said as he took the poster out again. He unrolled the poster so they could look at the drawing of the overseer in the mask.

She was a graceful figure dressed in white, one hand askance and the other holding her golden mask over her face. Her gown flowed around her, and a cape of some kind fluttered behind her like a pair of wings. The mask had two long beaded tassels coming down from a ruby-studded ball on either side, eyes and lips downcast on a delicate, almost elfin face. A single tear, represented by a diamond whose shine was gracefully rendered by its artist, rested on the curve of her right cheek.

"Lover killed in great war," Uncle explained. "Shed single tear for his passing. Golden light destroyed enemies, carved Valley of Shrieking Souls. Legend says caused Song Dynasty to fall. Empress felt sorrow for passing hero, too."

"Why is it called the Valley of Shrieking Souls?" Black asked. "Or do I not want to know?"

"Is Valley of dead evil. Crying Goddess trapped their souls in valley. As wind blows through, evil souls shriek."

"Nice ghost story," Black commented. "You really think they'll target this festival?"

"I'd bet shop on it," Uncle said very seriously.

"Then we'd better get there,"

Uncle nodded. "We will."

They continued walking for several minutes, with only the sounds of the ever-closer tavern district in the air. Finally, Black spoke.

"I don't like this area. Jackie will be back, right?"

"Jackie will be back," Uncle said, mentally adding, Or else.



Jackie was wandering the streets, looking for anyone - anyone - to talk to. However, the dark streets were deserted, not even a pedestrian walking them, save for Jackie. He'd been wandering for over an hour now, and had thus far only learned two things: that he didn't know where he was meeting Black and Uncle, and that he didn't even know how to get back to the docks.

One of the buildings he passed by was a grand hotel for this area, which would have qualified it as a dive anywhere else. Jackie wasn't particular, but that didn't mean that after days of backpacking through Hong Kong to get home, he was any too happy about sleeping in a hotel that didn't even look like it had running water. A candle lit one of the upstairs bedrooms - no electricity, either! - and a white haired figure sat with his back to the window, poring over something. Jackie smiled as he continued down the road, thinking of Valmont and the Dark Hand. After having some time to calm down, he realized that if Jade were with them, it could be the safest place for her.

After all, Jade had escaped from the Dark Hand numerous times, was almost as good a martial artist as he, and was as clever as any of Section Thirteen's agents. She would terrorize the Dark Hand more than any of them would be able to hurt her.

But Jackie didn't care about any of that. If he lost Jade, he would never be able to forgive himself. And if the Dark Hand didn't have her, where was she? Here? New Kowloon? Back in San Francisco, with Tohru?

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't see the girl coming out of the alley beside him; he walked right into her and they both fell back on their butts like bad ice skaters.

Dropping his pack, he leapt up to offer her his hand. The girl looked for a moment like she was going to explode into violent profanity, but it faded when she looked up at his face. He could see that under the wave of long, blue-black hair, she was a pug-nosed, baby-cheeked, and very spirited young Japanese girl of about fourteen. Her chocolate eyes were widened and her slender form clad in a set of sweats, zipped, tucked and arrange to accentuate the best parts of her features. For a moment, Jackie found himself wishing she were a little older, but then he realized he had not yet helped her up when her look went from pleased to puzzled.

"I'm sorry," he said shyly in English. "I didn't mean - "

"No, it's entirely my fault - "

"No, really, I do apologize - "

"No need, I'm fine - "

They looked at one another, and she was still sitting, one hand in his and one on the ground. Then they chuckled. She rose, dusting herself off.

"Your English is wonderful," she observed, smiling. "But accented. You're from here?"

"No, the mainland," Jackie grinned, picking up his pack. "But I live in America, now."

"I'd like to go to America someday, to visit," the girl replied. "I wouldn't want to live there, though. I like Japan."

"I like Japan, too!" Jackie said, sounding like a giddy schoolgirl. "I have been there many times."

They looked around them, uncomfortable, not wanting to part company on a lonely night, yet not wanting to stay here. Finally, as though silently agreeing it was the proper course of action, they began strolling in the direction Jackie had originally been headed.

"What brought you to Japan?" she asked.

"Oh, I'm an archaeologist," Jackie said humbly.

"Cool!" the girl exclaimed, surprising Jackie with American slang.

"Your English is excellent, too," he observed. "Where does someone so young learn a second language, especially one almost as hard as your own, so well?"

"Oh, my parents made a lot of money, so they sent me to a really good school in Tokyo," she replied casually.

"Sent you?"

"I don't live with them," she smiled. "I live with my grandfather."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Jackie said, assuming the worst.

"No," the girl protested. "My grandfather is a Shinto monk. He's training me. I'm a Shinto priestess."

Jackie looked at her, incredulous. "No way," he doubted, good-naturedly.

She nodded proudly. "Yes, I am," she said. "I've worked very hard to learn what I know." She paused. "You move like you have, too," she added.

Jackie nodded, smiling inwardly. So she was what she claimed to be.

"What brings you to Hong Kong?" she asked him.

"Business," he lied, but only marginally. "You?"

"Family," she said, but the short way she said it told him much. She knew he was lying, and she was, too. But it was the casual lie told by tourists, like them, in a chance meeting, like this one.

"You know something?" she said, breaking another uncomfortable silence. "You look like that martial arts actor. oh, what's his name."

"Chow Yun Fat?" Jackie suggested helpfully, always the first to enjoy a good martial arts movie. Jade had enjoyed watching them with him.

"No," the girl shook her head, frustrated. "Not him, the other guy."

"Jet Li," Jackie grinned, about to thank her for the compliment.

"No, the one who was in that American movie with the colored man," the girl told him. "They both played police officers.?"

"Oh, him?" Jackie wrinkled his nose.

"I'm sorry, did you find that insulting?" she asked, alarmed.

"No," Jackie shook his head, embarrassed at the slip. "It's just, I think I have much more class than THAT guy."

"Hmph," the girl replied. "Not TOO humble, are you?"

"Oh no, not that!" Jackie said. "Normally, I'm very humble. My uncle is a Chinese antiques dealer. and a mage of sorts. Believe me, I know ALL about humility."

The girl chuckled. "It's almost as though you know my grandfather," she said, the sighed. "I'm sorry, it's just that I have a friend who's an actress in action films, and she's very famous, and sometimes it goes to her head."

"Really?" Jackie asked. "Who is this friend?"

"Oh, she's my age, you've probably never watched her movies," the girl dismissed.

"I might not have, but I'll bet my niece has," Jackie laughed. It felt good to laugh through his worries.

"Her name is Minako Aino,"

"Hey, I know Minako Aino! Sailor V, right?" Jackie exclaimed.

The girl sighed again. "Yeah,"

Jackie chuckled. "I'm sorry," he said. "You sound like it's tough handling your friend's fame."

"Actually, I just got cast in her new movie," the girl said. "But sometimes, yeah. Sometimes I just feel like my friends are so. immature, like they don't understand the types of problems I have." She blushed and turned her face away. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean - "

"No, sometimes people need to talk about things," Jackie replied. He was thinking, Maybe I should take my own advice.

After a moment's pause, he did. "Actually, I am here looking for my niece," he confided. "She disappeared from New Kowloon, and I think she may be somewhere here."

"Why? How did she disappear?" the girl asked inquisitively.

"I was coming here to do a. dig," he said. "One of my associates lost her somehow."

The girl stopped, cocked her head to one side.

"Do you believe in magick?" she asked.

Jackie stopped. Ice ran through his veins. He wondered, Is she with Section Three?

"I suppose," he said, an attempt at being casual.

"I can help you," the girl said, excitedly. "I can scry for her. As a way of thanking you for keeping a confused child company."

Jackie shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

Moments later, they were standing in an alley, before an aluminum trash can. The garbage inside emitted an insidious odor as it burned from where the girl had tossed a lit match in. She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Not my choice of altars, but it'll have to do," she said.

Jackie watched as she chanted in Japanese, hearing only one word he even remotely recognized: Mars. He watched as the flame before her began leaping and dancing, its color going from red to blue to bright green as she fell deeper and deeper into her meditation.

Finally, she said, "She's close - here on this island, anyway. West."

"Is she alright?" Jackie asked anxiously. He'd seen enough magick lately to know this girl was for real, now.

"She's sore. And tired," the girl wrinkled her brow. "Like she's been working out, though." She took a step back, took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I can't take the smell of this garbage. It's choking me."

"No, you've been very helpful," Jackie replied. "Thank you."

They emerged from the alley in silence, but this one was different. It was comfortable, bonded. This girl was about as fourteen as Jade was eleven, and Jackie found himself treating her like an equal. From the way she moved, he could only imagine fighting with her, hopefully by her side, not against her.

The came back to the hotel about fifteen minutes later, having said little else. She turned to him, smiling.

"Well, thanks again for keeping me company," she said.

"Wait, I never got your name," Jackie protested.

"Oh, I'm Hino Rei - I mean, Rei Hino," she emphasized this last for his American frame of reference. He was Chinese, but still, very American.

"Nice to meet you, Rei," Jackie bowed in the Japanese tradition, as a sign of respect for his new friend. "I am Jackie Chan. I hope this will not be the last time we meet."

"It may not," Rei beamed. "You're going west to look for your niece. I'm going west with - my family. We may meet again on the other side of the island."

"I hope so, Rei," Jackie smiled as she backed her way into the building. "You're a very nice girl, and a wise priestess."

When she disappeared, he checked his watch. His stomach did a flip. He was late for the meeting!

He ran all the way back to the docks, then over, in the direction of the taverns. As he approached the outskirts of the group of loud buildings, he could see shady figures talking quietly amongst themselves, clustered in twos and threes. He also saw, at the edge of the district, a huge brawl taking place, men throwing one another around like so many sacks of potatoes. A pair of dubious-looking men were eyeing him greedily, taking an inventory of everything they thought he had. Jackie was not at ease here.

"Jac-KIE!" Uncle was approaching, and he looked like steam was about to explode from his ears. Black was at his heels, studiously ignoring the whole thing. "You are late!"

"Sorry, Uncle!" Jackie bowed his head. "I think I found a lead on Jade!"

"We think we found a lead on Section Three," Black said, a glare from Uncle prompted him to add, "Uncle found it, anyway."

"Jac-kie," Uncle whispered, his eyes alight. "What is my fondest wish?"

Jackie blinked. "To find the lost Valley of Shrieking Souls," he replied, curious. "Why?"

"I think we found it,"

Uncle handed him a flyer, and when he perused it, Jackie gasped in delight.

"There's a festival there? That place is for real?" Then, he gasped as a sudden realization hit him. "But isn't the ceremony to the Crying Goddess very magickal?"

Black answered this time. "We think it's a possibility that Section Three will make an appearance there. It's too much of a coincidence that they disappeared, with Lan Tao their only trace, right before a legendary high ceremony."

"Where is this place?" Jackie asked rhetorically as he consulted the poster.

"West of here, in the highest parts of Lan Tao," Uncle said, doing a very good job of sounding mysterious.

"West? Rei said Jade is to the west!" Jackie exclaimed excitedly.

"Who is Rei?" Uncle cocked one eyebrow.

"Oh, she's this girl that I met, who is a." Jackie paused in shock. "A Shinto priestess. Another magick-user." Looking at his comrades, he asked, "Do you think there's a connection?"

Black shrugged, but Uncle said, "Anything is possible."

"You should probably be cautious if you see her again," Black added. "Especially if she turns up in this Shrieking Valley."

"Valley of Shrieking Souls!" Uncle corrected vehemently.

"Whatever," Black frowned. "But we have a meeting to attend, remember?"

"Ah, yes," Uncle nodded. "We must go to Mandarin, meet Hairspray."

They circled the building until Uncle and Jackie spotted the sign, which had no indication of any English on it. They entered the run-down, vermin- infested shack that bore the sign, only to be greeted by a wall of thick sweet-smelling smoke. Jackie and Uncle just glanced at one another, but Black wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Drugs," he said. "Don't these ruffians know they're illegal?"

"Not everything is same everywhere," Uncle rose an eyebrow at the tall, very conspicuous agent.

"I know, I know," Black backed down. "I just don't like this place."

Jackie leaned over to mutter, "If it's any consolation, neither do I."

What lay before them was a crowd of broken-and-fixed tables with an assortment of unmatching chairs, all of them occupied by the greasiest, dirtiest, slimiest of underworld characters. Ranging in appearance from well-dressed playboys to battle-scarred pilots, the stench of crime was in the air everywhere in this crowded place. The myriad of conversations and the loud, unidentifiable music made for a cacophony of headaches.

Black led the way weaving through the crowd toward the bar at the far end of the dimly lit room. At one point, one of the parasites around them grabbed for Jackie. Uncle grabbed the man's wrist before he had a chance to even touch the old man's nephew, wagging his finger back and forth in admonition. The would-be thief glared for a moment, then turned back to his table.

They reached the bar, where a tough looking young Chinese girl was racing back and forth, serving drinks and shouting orders the other bartenders. When she saw the American man, she raised an eyebrow, then gestured them to the farthest end of the bar. She whispered something in the ear of the biggest, brawniest of her bartenders, then led them through a door in the back of the bar. The door led to a storeroom. She bent down, pulled at a wooden board on the floor of the small, cramped room, and revealed a ladder, leading into a dark void. She climbed down, motioning for them to follow.

Before they all had reached the bottom, she had a lantern lit to reveal a room decorated in a traditional Chinese style, with huge silken pillows all over the wooden floor. On the wall hung a virtual armory of martial arts weapons, including swords, bomburi, shenai, and some weapons even Jackie couldn't identify. He gasped in awe. Uncle nodded in appreciation.

"Joketsozuku style," he observed in Chinese. "Very well-done, too."

"Well, it should be," the girl replied. "I AM Joketsozuku." She bowed to them, adding in English, "I am Hairspray, at your service."

Jackie took his first opportunity to get a really good look at her. She was dressed in a cheongsam of pale blue with pale pink trim, her hair pulled up in two odangos trimmed in pale blue and pink ribbons. Her stance was one of practiced poise, the kind that is bred only from a lifetime of study in the martial arts. Right now, her manner was all business.

So was Black's.

"So, is everything ready?" he asked her in English.

"Who are these people?" she demanded, gesturing at Jackie and Uncle. Her English was as good as her Chinese, and could have been from anywhere in the United States.

"They're archaeologists, Hairspray, they've got clearance,"

"They look like gimps," she retorted. Then she strode up to Uncle, her nose inches from his. "How do you know about the Joketsozuku?"

"I know many things," Uncle told her, putting his Finger of Wisdom up between his nose and hers. "Including that if Elders knew you treat Uncle like this, they be ve-ry mad!"

Cowed, she turned her irritation about it over to Jackie.

"And what about you? What's your excuse?"

"Well, for one, I have better manners," Jackie retorted. "Get to the point, little girl."

"Jac-kie!" Uncle's hand flew to his forehead in exasperation. Black took about three steps back, hands up as though warding off some freakish evil.

Hairspray took a stance.

"Little girl, eh?" she said. "Well, we'll see what you think when I've beaten your head into a bloody pulp."

And suddenly, some forgotten history lesson surfaced in the back of Jackie's mind, and he remembered who the Joketsozuku were. These were fierce Amazons who fought any who challenged or crossed them. If they defeated their foe in battle, their mercy or malevolence would manifest based on the gender of the opponent. Women would be killed. Men would be married. If the Amazon lost and lived, she would seek the opponent out and fulfill this law, one way or the other. Amazons generally didn't lose, however. In fact, the only story Jackie had ever heard of a man winning was a dubious story about some boy who turned into a girl and defeated an Amazon princess somewhere in the middle of mainland China.

Jackie dropped his pack and took a stance of his own, waiting for the girl to strike. She didn't. She just stood there, in stance, and watched him.

Twenty minutes later, neither had budged, and Black yawned and sat down on one of the pillows.

"Is this almost done? We have business to attend to,"

Uncle, who was leaning against a pillar right in the middle of the room, said, "This beyond your understanding. This law, thousands of years old."

"Well, I'm tired, and I would like to find a hotel before sunrise," Black complained.

"I think you're already lying in bed," Uncle shrugged.

After almost an hour had passed, Jackie finally stretched and yawned.

"Ha!" cried Hairspray. "You have lost the Challenge of the Fighting Form!"

"Huh?" Jackie looked at her. "Oh! Right, we were fighting."

"What?" the girl shrieked in shock.

"I fell asleep. I'm sorry, I meant no disrespect."

"No man could hold that stance in his sleep," she sneered. "You're lying. You've lost, and now you're mine!"

"Does that mean this is over and we can get on with the mission?" Black asked, having been startled from a light nap by Hairspray's enraged cry.

"It has only begun," Uncle snickered. "If Jackie really did hold stance in sleep, he best you in battle. Then you leave alone."

"No way," Hairspray retorted. "Then I give him the Kiss of Love. And then, he's mine."

"In other words, I'm yours either way," Jackie noted.

"Exactly," Hairspray beamed. "And you are a good catch. You look like that guy in that American movie the GI's like so much, the martial artist."

"You mean Jet Li?" Black asked.

"No way," Uncle retorted. "Hero from 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.'"

"Ha, you're both wrong," Hairspray said. "The other guy, from that cop movie with the black man in it."

Jackie threw his hands in the air. "Does EVERYONE think I look like that guy?"

Uncle said to Hairspray, "Jackie never home."

"So what? It's not like I want a RELATIONSHIP, old man," Hairspray replied. "Just strong children."

"I think the children are already in this room," Black muttered, trying to go back to sleep.

However, the lightbulb over Uncle's head was nearly visible as he jumped up, excited.

"But he already has a daughter!" he announced.

Hairspray looked at Jackie in alarm, backing away. Jackie shot Uncle a curious glance.

"I do?" he mouthed to Uncle.

"Matter of fact, he here to look for her," Uncle added. The Finger of Wisdom rose again. "She called Jade. She lost in Lan Tao. Reason for mission."

"You're lying," Hairspray said, her eyes narrowing.

"Sorry, toots, you're out of luck," Black said from beneath a pile of pillows that he'd hoped would serve as a barrier against this inane argument. "He's telling the truth."

"This cannot be!" Hairspray collapsed in a heap of tears. "I am doomed to failure!"

"Hairspray is on a quest for a husband," Black supplied helpfully. "She joined with us in hopes of finding one. I guess you were her next pick, Jackie."

Jackie's face softened, and he walked over to the suddenly-small Chinese girl. He sat next to her and put her arms around her.

"Well, you're a pretty girl," he said, trying to be comforting. "You'll find a husband."

"No, I won't," Hairspray sobbed. "I am the best fighter of all the Amazon tribes, all over the world. Amazon men are scared of me. And I can beat all the outlanders."

"Why beat them?" Jackie asked her. "Why not just find a nice guy and date him?"

"That not how Amazons find husbands!" Uncle said.

"You. you mean. like just talk to one? And spend time with him?"

"Yeah," Jackie said encouragingly. "Get to know him. Trust me, you're missing the best part if you are looking for a husband without a relationship."

"But he has to be at least my equal in fighting skill, otherwise our children will be weak."

"I have just the guy!" Jackie said brightly. "He's in San Francisco, but maybe we can arrange for you to go there and meet him. He's a Japanese sumo wrestler."

"Tohru?" Black said, disbelieving. Then, after a moment's consideration, he added, "Hm. That could work."

"I thought sumo wrestlers were fat," Hairspray retorted.

"I prefer to think of Tohru as a LOT of guy," Jackie smiled. "Besides, sumo is a very respected profession in Japan. If you want strong children, Tohru's your guy."

"Really?" Hairspray brightened up a bit. "When can I meet him?"

"We'll take you back with us, Hairspray," Black said. "We've got to get to a town called Qinzong Li, and we need that equipment you have."

"You won't be leaving for a few days, will you?" Hairspray asked nervously, twirling a stand of hair that had annoyingly come loose from her perfect coif. "An old friend is supposed to be stopping by, and I have to send her on to the Valley as well."

"Someone else?" Black demanded. "No one can interfere in this, Hairspray."

"This may be a Section Thirteen problem, Black," Hairspray told him vehemently. "But it is a Chinese problem, too. And we're well-equipped to handle it." Rising, she added, "Besides, I think The Little Mouse will be perfectly willing to work with you, and not against you. Especially if she knows what you did to Shengdu."

"For your information, that was Jackie and Jade's doing," Black inserted.

Hairspray looked at Jackie wistfully. "What strong children we could have had. If you didn't have a daughter."

She walked out of the room, opening a panel that previously looked like just another wall decorated with weapons. She shut it behind her.

When the door was safely shut, Uncle said, "Don't let Jade ANWHERE near Hairspray."

"Why not, Uncle?" Jackie asked, alarmed.

"Because Hairspray back down because Amazons respect good warrior, but good warrior who is parent to little girl is valuable prize. Little girl even more valuable, made part of clan."

"Oh, I see," Jackie said, chuckling. "I agree, Jade would leap too quickly at the chance to be an Amazon."

"Good thing she's staying in Hong Kong when we go back State-side," Black remarked.

The door reopened, and Hairspray came back out, laden down with a box three times her size. Ever the gentleman, Jackie jumped up to help her. Relieving her of her burden, he promptly dropped it.

"Jackie, that's expensive equipment!" Black admonished.

"Sorry! It was heavy!" Jackie cried in protest.

"No it wasn't," Hairspray said casually. "Come on, your chariot awaits."

She opened yet another secret door in the wall and walked out of sight. Black glared at Jackie before helping him lift the huge heavy box, and, trailed by Uncle, they followed the Amazon out the door and up the stairs.

As he watched her lead them out of the building, Jackie thought to himself, Yes, Tohru is definitely a good match for this one.