Title: Existence- Part One: Settling In

Rating: PG, for themes

Disclaimer: You already know the drill about the whole disclaimer. It's mine, all mine, not Jhonen's, and not yours either (what Christmas spirit I have). I don't, ever, own 'Sci-ku'... that's some sick twisted thing the people at Revolution SF came up with. If you don't know, Sci-ku is short for Science Fiction Haiku. It's scary but excellent when nicely done (Go read Crimson Obession's!).

Author's Note: Bah. This was SUPPOSED to be done before Christmas. Obviously, it isn't O.o but I guess can always extend certain occurrences (ahem) until New Years. Anyway... this will be yet another tasty angst fruitcake presented to you by Amethyst Soul, now with a yummy humor side, just $0.99 extra!

Warnings: Angst, and some stuff implied. I'm not going to tell you what the implications are, but just know it's there. If you've ever read 'The Chronicles of Narnia' by C.S. Lewis, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Anyway, it's something that's pretty important to me that I've neglected for a long time. It'll be entirely obscure and metaphorical, so if you understand the clue I gave you above, don't think I'm trying to do something utterly out on a limb here. If you have any questions or comments regarding the issue, please e-mail me about it. I'd love to hear what you think.

_-=*****=-_

Dib stepped placidly into the hallways of Skool. He breathed in deeply, trying to push the through from his mind that this would probably be the last time he'd have to be here. The last time he'd have to smell the filthy, dirt-filled air. The last time he'd hear the loud clamor of students slamming their lockers shut. The last time he'd have to be wary of closets with the huge yellow asbestos warning signs placed in the furthest corner of the door- almost as if Skool *wanted* you to walk inside.

And he would miss it.

Crazy as it may sound, he would miss it all. He would miss having tuna and ranch dressing day, miss walking down these halls groggily as he wondered why he forced himself out of bed in the first place, even miss spending his snack to himself, with only his thoughts to befriend him.

'I might even miss being in this class,' he thought to himself as he tentatively stepped into his classroom, feeling awkward without his backpack and only a white paper crumpled within his hand. He glanced at his peers, and then took one longing gaze at his rival before approaching Ms. Bitters' desk.

Zim returned the trench coat-clad boy's gaze with a glare, and then returned to his work before him. He'd studied thoroughly on the winter months as they drew near, and was now attempting to find a solution of longer lasting glue- something better and more efficient than the cheap human product created on this planet. He sat transfixed over the configurations, when Ms. Bitters' loud voice suddenly shattered his thoughts, causing him to snap his pencil into two. He sneered out of annoyance for being distracted, but noticed the startled look in Dib's eyes that told him to be aware of something of importance imminent.

"Class!" she barked, flowing gracefully but eerily in front of her desk before settling softly onto the ground. She clasped her hands together and glanced down at Dib, as though expecting him to speak; when he didn't, she instead lifted her head and spoke for him. "Dib, thankfully, will breach the locks of this terrible, terrible, worthless waste of precious dooming time with which we call skool. Say your goodbyes and return to your regularly scheduled pathetic lives."

Zim's eyes slit into a narrowed and fixed stare at the pitiful Dib-human as a hushed tumult of whispers arose from the other students. 'What is he up to?' he thought. The boy stood there, digging his foot into the ground, not daring to glance up and meet anyone in the eye.

Zita's hand rose, and the gesture silenced the class. "What school are you going to now?" she inquired.

Dib shifted uncomfortably, as the question could not be answered easily. Finally, he answered with, "Why do you want to know?" It was mumbled- being the center of attention was not something he was used to or particularly liked.

The lavender haired girl shrugged with an air of callousness and indifference. "I want to warn them that an escapee from the Crazy House for Boys is on his way, and that they'd better bolt you to your seat and surround it by a cage if they want to be safe."

The entire class, despite the solemnity of the situation, burst into a fit of giggles. Zita smiled, pleased that her remark had thwarted Dib's expectation of a kind goodbye.

Dib's face did not reveal how hurt he was by the comment, unexpected as it was. Instead he stood, glowering. "I'm not going to another school," he responded bluntly. "Any other inane questions you want to ask, or can I go home now so I never have to see any of you again?" His eyes darted forth from The Letter M to Old Kid, and finally rested on Zim's curious expression before breaking away to return to the floor. He turned and stomped out of the room, leaving his class in a stunned silence.

Once outside of the school, Dib slid to the ground next to a huge Oak, glad to breathe in the cool air and be away from his class. He'd miss Skool, maybe. But he sure as hell wouldn't miss /them/.

He was glad that his father's note hadn't included the fact that Dib would trade Skool for a hospital; their insufferable pity would be enough to drive him to desire an even quicker ending for himself. It was relatively quiet where he sat- most everyone was at school or work- and Dib felt peaceful, listening not to the ramblings of a godforsaken teacher, but the melodic whistles of the birds above him. His eyes slid halfway closed when-

"So, Dib-human. I see you're once again up to something."

Dib's eyes flung wide open, and he growled. 'Time must have passed much more quickly than it felt', he thought to himself, checking his watch and seeing that it was a quarter past three. He stood, angry that the blaring silence had been broken by his nemesis, and slowly forced himself to relax. "Yes, Zim. That's it. Part of my plan to defeat you is for me to move far, far away, so that it's terribly inconvenient to reach you and even harder to stalk you on the grounds of a school I no longer go to. That's the /smart/ thing to do."

Zim's chest heaved indignantly. "Yes, well... it certainly sounded more threatening in my mind."

Dib rolled his eyes. "Forget it, Zim. Just leave me alone. I don't need you around to worsen this whole situation any more."

Zim's face fixed suspiciously. "/What/ situation, human?" he asked, but Dib had already turned a cold shoulder and was heading off toward his house.

"Peculiar..." Zim murmured, before turning and heading toward his own home, contemplating what Dib could have meant by his words.

_-=*****=-_

"Gaz, have you seen my socks? The ones with the swollen eyeball logo on the sides?" Dib yelled downstairs.

The jingling hip game music paused momentarily. "It's probably where your swollen eyeball underwear is," she yelled back up.

"Okay, thanks!"

The sound of the techno music returned again, as the house settled down to its natural order, when-

"Gaz? Where are my swollen eyeball boxers?"

Gaz sighed and paused her game again. "I /don't/ know, Dib. Why would I keep track of these things?" Realizing she could no longer concentrate on her game any longer, she set it down and made her way upstairs. "Dib, what ARE you doing? Since when did you start caring about where your socks and underwear are?"

She entered to room to find him sitting cross-legged, an oversized black duffel back nestled neatly before him, and various books, clothing, and miscellaneous knick-knacks strewn about him.

"Just getting ready," he mumbled in response, leaning over a stack of books. "Should I bring the Mysterious Mysteries book of Sci-ku Volume 6, or the special 18th Gold Edition?"

It was a question more to himself, so Gaz chose not to respond. Instead, she asked, "Dib, why does your room look like a hoard of ADHD- infected children just stampeded through it?"

Dib made a nodding motion with his head and gesticulated outward with an expression that read "Isn't it obvious?" before returning his attention to the books.

She pursed her lips tightly together, and finally responded with, "You have /two weeks/ until you're due at the hospital. Can't you wait?"

"You're right," Dib mumbled as he lifted the two Sci-ku anthologies. "I should bring both books."

"You're impossible," she growled, and turned away from the room, slamming the door behind her and causing a picture from on a nearby wall to crash to the floor.

"Maybe I should bring the 30th edition as well..." Dib mumbled, barely noticing his sister's absence from the room.

_-=*****=-_

Dib sat warily on the curb of the sidewalk, silently watching as a group of kids played foot hockey in the street. He was leaving for the hospital in a week and was spending most of his time relaxing in the shield of his house, but his dad, in a strange burst of sudden fatherly act, threw him out of the house, telling Dib to "Take in some of that sunshine."

"Sunshine. Right. Pfftt..." Dib mumbled to himself. He leaned back, soaking in some of that sun and resting his eyes. Some of the medicine the hospital had given him to extend his life was so strong that it knocked the energy right out of him. Today, for some reason, he didn't feel so tired. He had a little bit of energy left, but was too lazy to use it.

BZZZZZZT!

The puck, a crude little carton that had once housed Bubble Tape but now contained rocks, whizzed by Dib's head. He sat up and decided to use some of his energy by running to get it.

"Hey! Trench coat kid!" came a voice from one of the players. He was relatively tall and had messy, brown hair that came down over his eyes. How he could see and shoot so accurately was beyond anyone.

"Who, me?" Dib asked, the puck still in his hand. He glanced at it and then threw it to the brown-haired boy. "Here. I was just getting it for you."

The other kids stared at him, now, as the brown haired boy approached Dib. "The other team's missing a player and they're losing badly-"

"HEY!" the dirty blonde goalie interrupted from her side of the team. She stood, hand on hips, growling at the two.

"Okay," the brown-haired boy rolled his eyes. "Losing /moderately/ to us. Wanna make the team even? We have an extra stick."

"Oh... eh... sure!" Dib grinned wildly, never before having been invited to a game.

"Lose the trench coat, kid," the brown-haired boy said as he ran back to his team. "Listen up! This kid here-"

"Dib," Dib interrupted, slowly pulling off his coat.

"Dib," the brown haired boy corrected himself. "Is now playing on the blue team." He flashed them a grin with one missing tooth. "Now you have no excuse to lose." He grabbed a stick that was laying off to the side and tossed it to Dib. "Ready to play?"

Dib nodded and leaned forward, setting the stick on the ground and watching the 'puck' in close anticipation as it clattered to the ground.

*

Dib ran into the house two hours later, sweating profusely, panting like the air had been knocked out of him, and pretty damn happy about it. "Guess what, Dad?" he yelled hoarsely as he slammed the door behind him.

He ran into the kitchen to find Membrane quietly sipping some coffee and his sister playing her game. "What, you got beat up?" she asked, eying the bruises lining his face and the red scrapes across his arm. A manual mower could have just ran over his hair and there wouldn't have been a difference, and his missing trench coat revealed a torn and tattered blue t- shirt. "Again?"

Dib chose to ignore her. He turned to his father. "I got a bruise! And I fell on the asphalt! And I had suuuuuuuch a great time! Can I take in some of that sunshine tomorrow?"

"So, Dib finally found a life. How ironic," she said, not looking up from her game.

"I'm glad you had fun, Dib!" Membrane said proudly. "And guess what? I have a surprise for you!"

"Really?" Dib asked, hopeful.

The professor made a grand gesticulation with his leather-gloved hands. "The hospital sent over /more/ medicine!"

Dib's face fell. "And you say that with such joy."

"Way to keep his spirits up," Gaz muttered, enjoying her position on the peanut gallery.

"Well, I thought he'd be /happy/ that their research has extended this far. These pills won't produce any of the nauseating side effects the others had!" Membrane pulled out a pill bottle the size of a milk carton, and then slowly shook out one pill.

The pill's size explained blatantly the need for a bottle the size of a milk carton, as it was six times the size of the pills Dib was used to taking, and probably close to the size of his thumb.

Dib gaped at it. "How is THAT supposed to fit down my throat?!"

Membrane stared blankly back at Dib. "It's not going in your throat, son..."

_-=*****=-_

Dib sat numbly on his bed, gazing at the bare walls and the dust- filled corners that had been neglected when all his furniture had hid them. His bed and desk now sat in the center of the room, along with various items that he would have to leave behind. Holding open his door was his duffel bag, which had grown twenty times larger than when he had first began. It was going to take a train of snow dogs to get that thing down the stairs.

The past two weeks had been some kind of 7th heaven for Dib. No school to worry about, no pushy bullies to be bothered with, and he even found himself forgetting about Zim for hours at a time. Save for his morning pill intake, Dib enjoyed every minute of it. The guys from the hockey team showed up every other day after school, and Dib had befriended most of them. The brown-haired kid who he'd met first was named Tyler. The tomboy goalie, and only female, was Mari. And there were many others who needn't be named.

Dib never before had that many friends in his life.

"I start dying, and suddenly my life turns for the better," Dib muttered under his breath.

"Ironic indeed."

The voice had come from just beyond the door. Dib sat up to see his sister enter, no game slave in hand but rather a small gift, wrapped neatly in metallic blue. "This is for you."

Dib peered at her curiously but she just shrugged. "Out of the both of us, I've always thought you'd be the one to outlive us. Probably find some river of immortality, like in 'Tuck Everlasting' (good book. Go read.) or meet some aliens that kept you alive for the mere pleasure of probing your human body."

"Good God, Gaz, you've been hanging around me for far too long," Dib grinned, and stuffed the gift inside the side pocket of the duffel bag, the only part that hadn't been filled. "I'll open it when I get settled at the hospital. I'll need something to cheer me up."

She leaned back on the door, crossing her arms and gazing at him from behind glaring eyes. "I don't see why you have to go to that place anyway. It's not like it'll prevent anything."

"It's so that they can do some testing. So that maybe if someone in the future ends up with the same virus, they might be able to cure it," Dib explained.

Gaz simply stood, trying not to let her anger get the best of her. "/Now/ who's on the autopsy table?" she sneered, and turned away, walking down the stairs. "Dad says to be down in an hour."

Dib sighed as she left, staring at the surroundings before him. "Yeah. I'll be there."

Relativity played a huge part in his one hour that passed both quickly and slowly- his last moments, where he both accepted and denied his situation. He still felt like flesh and blood. He still could feel his heart beating against his chest, and his lungs inhaling the shallow air of the cold room. He didn't feel like he was dying. But he decided that he would go to the hospital anyway, and let them stick the needles in his arms and probe him. Like some kind of freak of human nature. Like some kind of alien.

He looked at the time and forced himself to stand up and walk to where the bag was. He leaned down and wrapped the strap around his stomach, dragging it down to the edge of the stairs, feeling the heavy baggage crush against his back as it tottered over the edge and caused him to tumble down.

"Oof," Dib grumbled as the both he and the bag came to a crashing end at the foot of the stairs, the bag sitting innocently atop him.

"Don't try and kill yourself before the virus does it for you," a voice yelled from the kitchen.

"Shut UP Gaz," Dib yelled back, sitting up. He dragged the bag the rest of the way out the door and out to the cab, ignoring the strange stares he got from his nosy next-door neighbors. His ears perked up at the sound of their loud whispers.

"Yeah... I heard he finally snapped. They're sending him to a permanent asylum."

"Membrane must be torn. He put off the show for the entire week. My kids have been driving me crazy with nothing to watch!"

"Strange. Membrane didn't put off the t.v. show the /last/ time his boy ended up in the asylum."

"Maybe this time they'll make sure he won't escape."

"His sister will probably end up there, too. The whole family's crazy if you ask me."

Dib chose to ignore the comments as he trudged back inside to make sure he hadn't left anything behind. Next to the door was their Christmas tree, still dark green but fading to coffee brown on the tips. Sure, it was still early November. But seeing as Membrane wouldn't be around much for Christmas, they had gotten the sad, forlorn thing in case (and usually it was the case) Membrane didn't make it home from recording the 'Poking the Membrane of Science Christmas Special'.

Dib's eyes searched the room, and finally rested on the laptop lying stagnant on the glass table. He hadn't opened it for who-knows how long, as the poor electronic had been neglected from all of Dib's playing in the real world.

"Son!" Membrane called to him as he ascended the steps from the basement laboratory. "It's time to go!"

"Coming," Dib mumbled. He grabbed the laptop, realizing it was back to the virtual reality world for him, and made his way out to the cab. He glanced at the house, and then at the street where the street hockey team would meet later on that day, one player short on the blue team yet again.

_-=*****=-_

"...and this is the psychiatric ward. It's best to stay away from there, darling, unless you're insane, of course. Oh! And here's the cafeteria! Don't give me dat face, pumpkin. It's /good/ cafeteria food, no matter what that fool FDA says. And here's the recreational room. You best be spending your hours here to get your mind off things, the white walls and cold rooms get awfully monotonous. It closes at ten and opens at nine, so you won't be able to spend /all/ your time there..."

Dib glanced up at his 'tour guide', a plump and rosy-cheeked nurse that had introduced herself to the Membrane family upon their entrance. He double stepped to keep up with her as she glided down the halls in a sweeping motion, as if she knew it all by heart. What astounded him most was that she was carrying his duffel bag with ease, and still able to walk at a pace faster than Dib. Despite her bulkiness, the woman spoke in a high- pitched, chattery tone that did not seem to match her stature. Presently, Dib tuned her out in order to take in his surroundings. It had been weeks since he had last been here, and now it all seemed... different.

Sure, the ugly black and white checkered tiles were still there. It held the same bright white walls, and the same virus infected kids. But the entire air, the feeling of belonging but at the same time dreading this moment of inevitable acceptance all at once warped his view of this place. This 'home'.

His father had to branch off to sign some paper work, and Gaz went with him. Which left Dib alone with this nurse- this cheerful reminder that there was such a thing as a devil on Earth.

The hall gradually quieted as they continued walking, and there were less children and more shut doors, all bleach white with silver numbers adorning them. The nurse finally stopped at a door with the numbers 6913 hanging solemnly over it, seeming to watch their every move. Dib shivered with the creepy feeling of being watched.

She opened the door softly and knelt down to match Dib's height. "Go on in, sweetie," she said, nudging him in the back when she noticed his hesitation. Dib smelt her breath- a mixture of faded peppermint and cinnamon- and decided to take his chances within the room.

He glanced around at the normal hospital setting. The room was divided in two by a hanging plastic blue curtain. The bed was neatly made with soft blue blankets and a white pillow. To the left of the bed was a table with a red digital clock on it, and to the right was a huge respiratory/cardiac machine. Though it was day out, no light flooded the room. Instead, a hanging dark blue curtain shielded all luminosity. This left a shadowy setting on the room that forced Dib into a fit of blinking in order to adjust to the lack of light.

The nurse set the duffel bag atop Dib's bed and then pulled the plastic curtains away to reveal a sleeping boy with long, black tussled hair. His arm was attached to a small cardiac machine that bleeped every second or so, and his closed eyes were facing up toward the ceiling.

"Poor thing. The doctor's keep predicting his death each month for the past entire year and he just keeps truckin' on," the nurse said softly, taking the moment to grab a half-filled glass of water from the table and an empty pill box labeled 'Friday'.

"Doesn't he have the same thing I do?" Dib asked, letting his curiosity control him. He hoped secretly that he'd be able to enjoy a life extension as well.

"Somewhat. You have a bizarre disease, yes indeedy," she replied matter-of-factly. "It's the same viral, but reacts differently to different bodies. That's why it's so darn difficult to cure."

"Do you know /everything/ about /every/ disease around here?"

The woman gave a slight chuckle. "Not everything, but I do know a bit more than those simple-minded doctors who care only 'bout the biology of it all. It's tacit, I tell ya, but they keep me around because I'm so darn good at what I do. I know what each little one needs, and when it's time for each little one ta go."

Dib nodded slowly and sat on the bed. "When's my dad and sister going to come?"

"Soon, babe," she extended a chubby hand and ruffled his jet black hair. "Jus' as soon as they get that fool paperwork done. I dun tell 'em that they needn't bother with such things, but they hardly listen to a little old nurse like me."

The boy on the other side of the room stirred, slightly, and the nurse stood. "I reckon Matt'll be awake, soon. Better get 'im some of his meds."

"Matt?" Dib mumbled to himself. The nurse quickly left and Dib glanced over at his new roommate- Matt- hoping unconsciously that the boy would be enjoyable to live with. If he shared a room with someone as narcissistic as Zim or as intimidating as Torque, he wouldn't know what to do.

He hopped off the bed and decided to get some of his things put away. It was going to be a long winter.

_-=*****=-_

Outside the hospital stood a short boy, who, upon a closer look, had tinted skin the color of olives. This boy stood for a long time with narrowed eyes, still unsure of the 'situation' the Dib-human had talked about before, but slowly putting two and two together, as he'd spied on his rival for the past few weeks.

Anyone happening to look out their window at that time might find it odd, or even eerie, that this short boy was just standing on the sidewalk, /staring/. But no one was watching, and so, with a turn, the small boy vanished within a crowd of people, completely unnoticed.

End Part One.



A/N: Tomorrow's the most famous shopping day of the year! SHHHHOPPPP! BUYYYYYY! STUFFFF! Spend, my zombies, spend. For you have promises to keep. And miles to go before you sleep (o.O name the author of those last two lines and you get a poisoned cookie) Guess what? It's Christmas!!! And everyone should smile today (unless you live where it doesn't snow. And the song, 'I'm dreaming of a white Christmas', has no meaning. Damn sun.) Hope you guys got what you wanted. ::stares at the boxes and boxes of underwear her mom had given her:: At least it's the thought that counts.