A/N: Cliché title/basis? Perhaps…Cliché plot? I certainly hope not. *^_~* Yes, this takes place after the song "Under The Mistletoe", but you don't need to have heard the song to understand the fic. As a matter of fact, I've pretty much disregarded the rest of the cd and just focused on this song…or rather, the aftermath…This is part one of…maybe three…Heheheh…Enjoy, and happy holidays all! *^o^*

Ash

I've done some embarrassing things in my life…Okay, okay…I've done a lot of embarrassing things in my life…but this one takes the cake…and the ice cream…and the cherry on top…and the cookies…and the punch…Oh geez, the punch…It's still all over me…Ugh…At least with the cookies I could eat the crumbs off, but I'm not so desperate that I'm going to suck the punch out of my clothes!

I really can't believe that happened, looking back on it now…Sometimes, I can't believe what an idiot I can be…Yeah, yeah, I know…I have to believe it, because I am an idiot…sometimes……Okay! Fine! More than that! Geez…

Well, if I had known what was going to happen, maybe I would've been a little more careful in my hasty retreat…Maybe…It was already too late to avoid complete embarrassment…I mean…Under the circumstances…I mean…Well…

Why does that have to be some great Christmas tradition!? It's the dumbest idea in the world! Just because two people are standing under some…ugh…plant…and a parasite at that…THAT SHOULD NOT MEAN THAT THEY HAVE TO KISS! It's STUPID!

…I do not want a girl to kiss me…It's…It's gross! I mean…Yuck! You have to put your mouths together and…and get all…close and stuff…Just because of a plant!? Ewww…! Eweweweweww…

What's worse is that…it was Misty……I mean, really, I have nothing against her…Really…Nothing…Except that she can be kinda violent if she wants to, but it's nothing I haven't gotten used to…from her and my Pokémon…But, I mean…kissing!? Me and her!? NO WAY! Never ever ever!!! I almost had a heart attack when I looked up! Oh man…

Mistletoes should die…They should all be burned…I'll get Cyndaquil to help out with that…Just so long as the house doesn't burn down…That would just make everything worse…

Okay, here's what happened…We were all having this Christmas party, right? It was a pretty good one too, I guess…and then…it happened…

I was just standing there, minding my own business…and then she comes along…Our conversation went something like this…

"Hi Ash! Did you get something to eat?"

That's Misty being way too perky. She scares me when she's that perky. Have I ever mentioned that before…?

"Uh. Yeah."

That's me…being scared of her perkiness.

"Um, Ash? Did you realize we're standing under the mistletoe?"

That's the part where I realized I was in grave danger, looked up, and saw the evil, evil, evil plant up on ceiling, and that's when all heck broke loose.

After putting two and two together…

Mistletoe…Me…Misty…Mistletoe…Me…Misty…Mistletoe……me…Misty……Mistletoe = kissing…Misty + Me + Mistletoe = Me and Misty kissing…

…I did the only logical thing.

Well, first I screamed, which was very logical. Then I ran for my life, which was even more logical.

Then…I can't believe she did this…She…yelled after me. I think she wanted to know where I was going. I gave her the same excuse I gave last time. I mean…it was easy to remember. So, maybe it wasn't a very good excuse, but I was still in "run for your life" mode…Anyway, I told her I was going to get more Christmas cookies…They are good and all…Um, anyway…Yeah, she accused me of reusing that excuse so I just said that I knew that…Hey, it's not like a mere handful of cookies is gonna fill me up, you know…

Before I know it, she's yelling at me again, but this time to watch out. By the time I realize that I'm on a collision course with the refreshment table, I bump into someone carrying a cup of punch, slip on what spilled, slide forward, flip onto the table somehow, get up close and personal with the cookies, then slide more into the punch, which makes it easier for me to slide the rest of the way over the table, and the next thing I know, I'm falling through pine needles and branches and ornaments before hitting my head on the trunk of the Christmas tree, which then fell on top of me, and only me, because I was the only one who didn't have enough reaction time to get out of the way. Yeah, go ahead. Picture that in your mind. Laugh. See if I care.

Yeah, that's me on the floor under the Christmas tree…the seriously-hurting Ash Ketchum…Definitely the life of the party, as Mom would say…

Yeah…THAT WAS NOT FUN…

Okay, so then after I ruined the entire party, they had to roll the tree over enough so they could drag me out from underneath it…That wasn't pleasant either…All those branches and needles and ornaments are dangerous I tell you!

Well, then they dragged me out…and I had scatches and bruises and crumbs and cake and punch all over me and someone almost fainted because they thought the punch was blood and that was actually kind of funny, but…

Brock sent me upstairs to get washed up…and as I went up there, I could hear them all snickering…well, the ones who weren't mourning the waste of food and the killing of the Christmas tree…but what got me was a very brief talk between Brock and Misty that went on even before I got to the second floor landing…

"Hey, Misty? Do you know how that even happened…?"

At that point, I paused to look back to see her reaction…Her face turned a bright red and she kind of looked away. If I remember correctly "Nothing…" was her exact wording…

…That pretty much sums up the most embarrassing event in my life…It was so embarrassing, even Misty was too embarrassed to admit she had anything to do with it. I don't blame her. If I could've, I know I wouldn't've had anything to do with it…Pikachu didn't even want anything to do with it…

…I didn't go back down after I showered and changed…There was no way I was gonna show my face down there again…Not for a week at least, and by then we'd probably be well on our way outta here anyway…That works fine for me…Except that Misty would be coming with us…ugh…I don't wanna think about…that right now…

I didn't want to choose an obvious hiding place. I didn't want anyone to find me, and I'm sure someone would come to look for me eventually. So the bathroom was out, so was our room, the closet…

I was so happy when I saw that little tiny string hanging from the ceiling in the hallway…I was too short to reach it, but Bulbasaur got it, no problem. He also helped me actually get up the stairs and into the attic, and also pull up the little staircase so no one would figure out where I went. Once I was sure I was safe, I called him back to his Pokéball and searched for a place to just stay until…someone found me. I wasn't gonna go back down unless someone forced me to.

There was a really old, dusty, kinda thin blanket in the far corner behind some boxes, and it was nice and snug and hidden. I took the blanket with me, tried not to cough when the dust hit my face, and crawled into an empty box that was laying on its side with the top open.

There's this little spider on one of the other boxes…It's really little…Looks…brown with kinda yellowish stripes on its legs. It's definitely not a Pokémon, just a common house spider…If I didn't know better, I'd wonder what it was doing up there all by itself with me…Maybe it did something horribly embarrassing too…but nah…It's just a spider, spiders don't do horribly embarrassing things…or if they do they probably don't hide in attics…Probably because spiders usually live in attics, right? So if it wanted to hide because it's embarrassed, it would probably go downstairs…then probably get squashed by Misty…ehh…Yuck…

I pull the blanket tighter around me and sneeze a little as the dust tries to crawl up my nose. When I look up again, I notice there's another spider on that box over there…It's a lot bigger than the first one I saw, and it has different colors too. The new one is more black, with some red on its back…The black one is right on the edge of the box, kinda waving to the little one. The little one moves forward and it kinda waves to the big one. They both gradually get closer to each other and they keep waving and touching each other and stuff…It's kinda weird if you ask me…Oh, I know! It's like that one time I was watching this nature show and um…They said it was a mating ritual or something. And then the…the male…the male gets on top of the female and um……Oh yeah, that's where Mom came in and turned it off, saying, "That's supposed to be for kids!?" I still don't get why she did that…

Well, whatever I missed then I'm seeing live now, so I guess I can't complain too much…Um…Whatever…they're doing…um…I guess the little one's the male…uh…Okay, they're not really doing much anymore…

That gets boring after a while…It's also very weird…They just kinda…decided they liked each other…even without a mistletoe…I don't get why anyone would do that…I mean…Everyone keeps telling me I'll understand when I'm older, but…you know, I kinda wish I understood it now…It all just seems so…gross…And what happened downstairs…I don't even wanna think about it…

…but…what if I hadn't run away…or crashed into…everything…or…? What if Misty stopped me? What if…ack, would she've kissed me!?? She's always saying how she's a romantic type, but…kissing?…ME? I don't think even Misty would do that……right…? I…I don't think she…would've…I mean…she only said that we were under the mistletoe, she didn't mention anything about kissing……but still…she did sound kinda mad at me when I ran away…Oh no, I hope she isn't mad at me! Oh, she probably is…the way she acted when Brock asked her what happened…oh noo…Oh man…Now I really can't go back down there…

…Wait…Does that mean she did wanna kiss me!!? I hope not!…But what if she did!? Uh…What does that mean?? Does she…does she…uhmmm……What if she does…? No, now she's gonna hate me!…No, she's gonna hate me either way so I guess it doesn't matter…but……did she…?

…Whoa…

…This way too much for me…I'm getting a headache…

I lean my head back and look at the spiders again…They're still just sitting there doing nothing…I close my eyes, just to rest a little until my headache goes away…

…I guess I fell asleep. I have no idea how long I was sleeping, but I can kind of hear Misty and Brock and a few others calling for me. Both of my legs have fallen asleep and my back hurts from sitting all crunched up to fit in the box and my neck really hurts and I feel all stiff and I'm ready to just stop hiding and go back down there just so I can sleep in a real bed…I'll just ignore Misty…Pretend like nothing ever happened…

…Yeah right…Oh, I can just imagine all types of weird looks she'll be giving me…or worse…none at all…Maybe she'll ignore me…Well…I guess that'd be okay…because that's what I was gonna do to her, but……well, this is Misty we're talking about! She won't ignore me and she won't let me ignore her…or will she? Or even worse! Maybe she'll try to kiss me! Yuck…

…Or maybe it won't be so bad…I don't know how that could happen, but Brock says stuff like how that's one of the greatest feelings in the world and Misty agrees with him and sometimes I wonder whether they're gonna start kissing, but they never do, which I think is a very good thing. I wouldn't be able to stand it if Brock and Misty kissed…Well, I probably wouldn't be able to stand it if anybody kissed, but…those two especially…I dunno why…It's just…gross…I dunno if it would be more or less gross than Misty kissing me but…they're both really gross! Really!

I try to stop thinking about gross stuff and shift a little in my box. I'm ready to leave. Whatever happens, happens. I can take it…A Pokémon Master doesn't just go hide in the attic at every little bad thing…Then again…kissing isn't a little bad thing…Well…then again…it might be okay…I mean, I'm sure I'll live through it……maybe…I hope so at least……uh…if it even happens! And it might not! I mean…I don't think Misty would…er…I hope she wouldn't…um…

Come on, Ash…Whatever happens, happens…You've gone through worse…

……Oh, who am I trying to kid? I haven't been through anything like this before! This is worse than everything else combined!

Still…I take a deep breath and start to move forward a little painfully…It doesn't matter what happens now, right? I already ruined the party, so I probably deserve whatever punishment I get…

…I stop just as I poke my head out…

Remember those two spiders? Yeah, well, um…The male? He's kinda…uhh…How should I say this? Um…Kinda…halfway…not there anymore…Um…As a matter of fact…uh…the…female…she's kinda…eating him…

I quickly pull back into my little box and sit there very stiffly, clutching the blanket very tightly.

If that's what girls do to guys after they kiss and and stuff, then there is no way ANYONE can make me go back down there…