Searching for Eden
Rei's crimson eyes snapped wide open and she stared into her brother's dark blue eyes. She was in complete shock! Her brother had just kissed her! On the mouth! She blinked hard and realized that ...that..he was *still* kissing her!!
~~~
At the exact same time, Shinji stared into his imooto-chan's crimson eyes. He could see the shock of what he'd just done, and was still doing in her eyes. He knew, oh God he knew, that he had blew it with her Big Time! He noticed her blink (hard) and his natural reflex, to runaway, told him to let her go and curl up into a ball, and protect himself from the beating of his life. (living with Asuka, that reaction became a natural reflex ^_~) But another part of him told him *not* to let her go, because this was going to be the last bit of affection he ever got from her, and that this was going to be the last time she even spoke to him! For she would surely leave him after tonight!
He was plagued with two equally strong, conflicting emotions as he held onto the sides of her face in a forced kiss. Then, he felt her shift her position, and he quickly made his decision. Afraid that she was trying to pull away from him, the pilot moved his right hand to the back of her head and deepened the kiss, and embraced her waist with his left. Yes, he made his choice. He chose to take as much affection from her as he could before he lost her forever.
~~~
Rei continued to look into her oniisan eyes. She could see a mixture of fear and regret for what he had done, and a desire to continue the act. Then when she shifted her position, because the way he held her head was very uncomfortable, his eyes shimmered with pure unadulterated and selfish *need*. At that exact moment, he apparently threw his fear and regret out the window, and chose to run with desire, because he wasn't letting her go. He moved his hand to the back of her head, raking his finger through her thick blue locks, and held her in tight embrace with her other hand. Surprised by his forwardness, Rei's eyes tripled their size. But did she mind? No. Why? Because everyone of her hairs were standing on end. When he pressed her lips against his, she felt like a surge of electricity went through her body. Never in her life had she felt something so wonderful, and she was almost certain that the 'second' never experience this either, or she would have surely remembered.
~~~
Shinji pressed his eyes tightly shut when Rei's look of surprise went to one of shock when he deepened the kiss. He knew this was wrong. He knew he should let her go, but he was afraid. He had gone to far now. Too many seconds had passed for him to lie and say he thought she was someone else. His eyes were open too long to try and convince her that he was still sleeping. He was in deep sh*t, and he knew it. Now, he was afraid of what she would say to him when their lips parted. So he held her tighter and continued kissing her. However, he wasn't sure if he was still kissing her because he needed the affection or just using his mouth as her muzzle. He was just grateful that she hadn't tried to pull away again.
~~~
Oops spoke to soon.
~~~
Rei shifted her position again. She was really uncomfortable, but she was enjoying the kiss. Although his kiss, now seemed more desperate and more forceful. Then when he once again deepen the kiss she decided that, yes, it was too much pressure on her delicate lips. Especially since he had hit her in the mouth on mistake during his nightmare. So when she moved again, she wanted to tell him not to press so hard.
~~~
When she tried to pull herself up, Shinji used all his strength to hold her back down. His brain wasn't working, it just kept telling him *not* to let her go because she was going to leave him forever, and hold on to her as long as he could because he already lost her. So when he heard her sweet voice muffle out his name, he did the only thing he could do to stop her from talking.
~~~
If Rei's eyes widened any further, her eyes would have fallen out. Shinji had slipped his tongue into her mouth. She was not expecting that! Nor was she liking it. The way his tongue ravished her mouth, felt as if he was preparing to consume her. This kiss, which started off so sweet, now frightened her. So when she moved this time, she used all her energy to pull away from him.
Shinji guiltily stared at his sister when she pulled herself into a sitting position, straddling his waist.
The expression that graced Rei's face was a mixture of shock, fear, and confusion. She was breathing heavily as she stared at her brother and whispered out breathlessly "Why?"
Shinji started crying immediately after her question and answered with "I'm sorry... I am soo sorry!"
As the first child watched him cry into his hands, she gently touched her lips. They were still tingling from his passionate kiss. In a whisper she asked again. "Why?" She had no understanding why he would kiss her, or why he would *want* to kiss her.
"I'm sorry..." was all he sobbed out, with his face still cupped in his hands. He couldn't bare to look at her. He was afraid to see the hate and disgust in her eyes for what he did.
Because of his reaction to their kiss, Rei was now even more confused by his action of kissing her. did I say something that upset him?... did I do something?. She slowly leaned forward and gently placed her tiny hands on top of his, then she pried his hands off his face. He still refused to look at her, so she leaned forward until she could see under his bowed down head. "Why are you so sad, oniisan?"
Her gentle voice and sweet question completely shocked the third child. He expected her to slap him, once his face was free from the protection of his hands. He expected her to tell him that she hated him for what he forced her to do. He excepted her to run out of the cabin and never return.
Shinji slowly lifted his head up, so he could see her and sobbed out. "I'm..sad ...because I hurt you!"
She touched her bottom lip and assured. "Do not worry about it. It will heal."
"What?" He had no clue what she was talking about.
She pulled her lip forward so he could see the split in the middle.
His voice was broken. "I...I..did that to you..?" He felt ten times worse now that he thought he hurt her by his forced kiss.
"Not on purpose." She assured sweetly. "You did it while you were sleeping."
His brow furrowed as he tried to remembered when he could of hit her, when it came to him he said. "I'm sorry, Rei-chan.. I thought you were Asuka."
She nodded in understanding. Not complete understanding, but she understood that he was having a nightmare, and in her opinion, any dream including the second child was a nightmare.
His tears started streaming down his face as he remembered the dream. Rei scooted closer to him; even though there was really nowhere to go. She was straddling his waist and he was sitting up. She gently wiped his tears off his face and asked.
"Why are you crying, oniisan?"
He hiccupped his answer. "I'm ..*sniff*..afraid."
She wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered in his ear. "Do not be afraid...I will protect you."
Her words only made him cry harder, he pulled out of her embrace, and tired to get out of the bed. When he met the resistance of Rei's weight, he plopped his head back on the bed, and covered his face with his pillow.
The first child was totally confused now, as well as saddened that she could no longer comfort him. Slowly, she lifted herself off of him and walked back to her own bed. Now she was too terrified to tell him her secret. If he no longer needed her for comfort, then she was certain that he would leave her after he found out what she did and that Adam was still after her.
Shinji cried hysterically under that pillow for about five minutes before his fears overwhelmed him and made him confess. He ripped the pillow off his face, sat up, and cried out. "You're going to leave me aren't you?!"
Rei, who was also crying , silently crying , turned around to face him and shook her head no.
He didn't believe her. "Yes are! I can tell in the way you've been treating me!"
Rei did not respond.
Shinji laid back down and cried into his pillow then sat back up and pleaded. "Just tell me... what I did wrong... I promise, I won't do it again!"
Rei tilted her head to the side and gave him dumbfounded expression. What *he* did? Even *if* he did do something, which he didn't, in her opinion he could never do anything that would make her leave him.
"Rei...please!" He sat up on his knees as he cried. "Please... tell me what to do,... so you won't leave me...I promise whatever I did, I won't do it again!"
The first child quickly got back out of her bed and hurried to him. "Shinji, you didn't do anything..."
He didn't believe her and sobbed out "Then why are you rejecting me...?"
She thought back to how she had been treating him these past few hours, and cried out in a whisper "I'm sorry.. I did not mean to... I was just afraid."
He looked with a surprised expression. "Afraid... because of what happened?" He wiped some of his tears away.
She kinda shrugged and nodded and reluctantly admitted. "I was afraid of...." Then realized that she wasn't ready to tell him. She was still too afraid of his reaction. So instead, she scooted closer to him and said softly "Shinji..."
He looked into her crimson eyes, then widened his eyes when she kissed him lightly on the lips. When she pulled back she whispered.
"I am sorry...." She cupped his cheek in her hand and wiped his tears away with her thumb. "I did not mean to hurt you."
His hot tears still continued to stream down his cheeks. "Do.. you promises..."
She nodded and answered. "I will not leave you ...." Then her own hot tears started to stream down her flushed cheeks as she finished her sentence in a broken whisper. "Unless you want me to...."
He quickly wrapped his arms around her back, just as she gave him another kiss on the mouth. It wasn't long before Shinji had once again slipped his tongue in her mouth, but this time it was much gentler and Rei responded in kind, by exploring his mouth with her tongue as he did hers.
Ever-so- slowly, he eased her back until she was lying on her back, and after her encouragement, he positioned himself on top of her and between her legs. It was in this position did he noticed what she wore for her sleeping attire. Which was only a white t-shirt and her panties. It was a change from what she usually wore. For the past few days, they had been sleeping in their clothes. Neither had any PJ 's and both only had four outfits apiece. Like Rei, Shinji didn't want to waist a clean outfit to sleep in, so he only wore his boxers to bed.
After giving her an appreciative smile for her choice of bedwear, he brought his lips to hers again and kissed her deeply. When they parted for air he breathed out in a lusty whisper
"I would never want you to leave me, Rei-chan" then captured her lips with his, for another intense kiss.
His words made Rei deepen the kiss, tightly wrap her arms his neck, as if she never wanted to let him go, and cry harder. For she knew that he only said that because he didn't know her secret. She knew that after she told him what she did, he would never want to be this way with her again. So she decided to take what she could tonight, and sort out the repercussions later.
Shinji took her actions as desire and let his hands roam all over the sides of her body. He wanted this. He needed this. After so many years of being alone, being used, and abused, he couldn't believe that he finally found someone who cared for him...who allowed him to care for them... who he loved ...and who loved...him? He pulled back from the kiss and asked with desperate eyes. "Rei-chan..."
She gave him a fearful gaze, thinking that he no longer wanted to be close to her.
With hesitation he asked. "Do... you.. do you love me?"
yes She could see in his eyes that he needed her answer to be verbal, but she was afraid to answer. She didn't know if he felt the same. She wasn't even sure if she was even classifying the feeling she felt for him correctly. She thought about her life, and asked herself how was she supposed to know if she correctly defined her feelings. So her answer was "I.. am not sure... I think so... but I have never known love."
Shinji gave her a warm smile; even though his tears were streaming down his face. Happy tears. He knew that her answer was a yes and his response was "You know love now, Rei-chan... because I love you."
She forced a smile and cried. yes, but for how long She shook that thought out of her head and kissed him again.
Shinji was ecstatic to know that she loved him, but Rei's reaction to his feeling for her distressed him. She seemed saddened by his confession. He pulled back once again and asked "What's wrong?"
She looked up into his worried eyes. She could tell that somehow she had hurt him again. She hated hurting him and mentally decided I have no other option.. than to confess She didn't want to confess, but she knew that she would hurt him in her actions if she kept it a secret any longer. The first child took a deep breath and said
"Hypothetically speaking....what would you say ....if I told you I killed your father?"
Shinji blinked. He was *not* expecting her to say that, but he could see the fear in her eyes, so he understood why she confessed like that. He gave her a warm smile and answered "I would tell you I already knew that?"
She blinked. Hard. "How.. did you know?"
He smiled and gave his honest hypothesis. "Because...you told me that you jumped out of his jeep...I doubt he would have just kept going without you."
She nodded for that was a correct assumption. She felt *a lot* better, then dread consumed her insides her when she remembered about Adam. "What if I told you... that he is still alive."
Shinji paled.
She cried.
The pilot leaned his head forward and started to kiss away all her tears and repeatedly whispered in a comforting tone. "It's ok.."
She shook her head no and sobbed out her confession.. "He's after me!"
Shinji tilted back his head, cupped her face in his hands and wiped her tears away with his thumbs "How do you know he's after you?"
Rei sniffed out. "Because when I 'fainted' my soul went to NERV and I saw him wake up and he saw me! He told me that he was going to make sure...." Her eyes widened and she stopped her confession, She didn't want to inform him about the plans of the 3rd impact. Luckily for her, Shinji interrupted at the same time.
"That was a dream." He assured. "My fath- the commander is dead."
She shook her head no. "He's alive, and he is an angel like me!"
Shinji gave her a warm smile and assured that "It was a dream " right before he kissed her pouty lips.
When they parted for air, she asked. "If it *wasn't* a dream... will you leave me?"
He saw the fear in her eyes. It mirrored his own at the thought of her leaving him. He shook his head no and promised "If it wasn't a dream, then I will protect you. I will never leave you, Rei-chan and I will never let him have you."
She tilted her head to the side and asked "You promise?"
"Yep," He nodded and gave her a surprisingly happy smile. "It looks like your stuck with me forever!" He leaned his head forward, closed his eyes, and gave her a deep passionate kiss.
As he kissed her, Rei want to feel closer to him so she wrapped her legs around his waist, making him lose the balance he had to maintain his weight from crushing her. So, when he fell against her. his hips grinded against hers and his erect manhood grinded against her womanhood.
Both teens moaned into each other's mouth from the exquisite feeling that shot through their bodies. Shinji gazed into Rei's crimsons eyes and asked in a nonverbal question if he could do that again. Rei answered by bucking her hip repeating that surge of pleasure. The two continued this action until both of their bodies desired more.
Shinji brought one of his hands to rest on her rear, then pushed her hips forward so that her womanhood would be in the exact spot he needed to be grinded. The feeling she was giving him was so intense, he could feel that familiar tightening of his muscles. He was about to cum and he told the first child so.
Rei gave him in intense kiss and matched his movements as she allowed the grasp he had on her rear to keep her in time and in the right position. It wasn't long before he came, and the way his face contorted in painful ecstasy was extremely beautiful to her.
Shinji collapsed on top of her after his orgasm. He truly understood why they called orgasms the little death. By pleasing himself he had ejaculated a lot, but never was it as intense as this time. He felt like he gave her a little piece of his life force. After about a minute, he regained some of his strength and started to get up.
"Please don't" Rei pleaded softly.
The boy looked deep into her eyes and saw love radiating from them. He returned it ten fold.
Rei smiled and admitted. "I feel safe with you on top of me."
Shinji smiled, nodded and felt a surge of pride that she felt safe because of him. He positioned himself so that his weight wasn't on her.
"Relax, Shinji," She gently commanded.
He gave her a worried expression, and shook his head no. "I'm too heavy."
She shook her head no and assured "I like it." She knew that she liked it because she loved the way it felt when he collapsed on her. The weight of him on top of her made her feel complete.
He gave her a skeptical expression, but complied with her wishes anyway. "Tell me if I get too heavy."
"I will." She promised and kissed his ear, eliciting a moan from him, as she wrapped her arms around his back and her legs around his waist.
Shinji was loving being on top of her like this. He slide one of his hands behind Rei's head, so he could secretly hold some of his weight, and with the other, he started to caress her slender legs and thighs. When his fingers brushed against the rim of her panties, he whispered in her ear as he blushed madly.
"May I touch you?"
Rei tilted her head to look at him and answered innocently. "You are touching me."
His faced turned as red as a tomato, as he gently poked at her flower with his finger over her underwear. "Here...May I touch you here?"
The first child's face matched his color, and she quickly nodded.
Timidly, Shinji slid is fingers through the leg opening of her white panties. He could feel the dampened, swollen, folds of her flower. He exhaled deeply in pure lust. He wasn't expecting her to feel so soft and warm and wet. He was loving it! Encouraged by her moans, and the way she arched her back, he slowly caressed womanhood lubricating his fingers with her juices. And in a moment of bravery, he glanced at her, and she nodded giving him permission to go further. Slowly he allowed his finger to go deeper inside her.
Rei moaned loudly and shifted her hips so his finger could go completely inside her.
In a libidinous whisper he asked. "Do you like this?"
She tightly pressed her eyes shut and nodded as another moan escaped her lips.
Shinji smiled and shifted his weight so he was now only partially on top of her. He then moved his hand so he could easily thrust his finger in and out of her and caress her labia with his thumb. He brought his mouth back to hers and kissed her with a hunger passion, and closed his eyes so he could concentrate on the satiny feel of her womanhood.
He moaned into her mouth. "I love you so much, Rei"
The first child arched her back and bucked her hips. She could feel her release coming and moaned out. "I love you too, oniisan!"
Shinji's eyes snapped open at the realization of her words.
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I still don't own anything that deals with Evangelion. ^_~
