Searching for Eden
Rei was laying on her back, Shinji lay on top of her kissing her deeply and his hand was caressing and penetrating her womanhood. Never in her life did she suspect that touching that one area could elicit so much pleasure and so many feelings. it never feel like this when I touched it.
Of course, the only time she touched her flower was while bathing or to wipe herself clean, after using the bathroom. So, for that very reason, she mistakenly concluded that this is love. In her opinion, love was tangible after all. Her brother had told her the truth. Shinji had confessed his love for her, and told her that she would now know love. Rei closed her eyes as tears of joy streamed out the corners and into her hair. She wanted to concentrate on the feeling of love, Shinji was giving her with his hand. She never fathomed that she could feel so completely connected to another person without the third impact. But Rei felt completely connected to Shinji when he did this to her.
Rei moaned lustfully into his mouth. Oh gawd she needed this. She needed him, and he needed her. In her opinion, his actions proved it. He was giving her and showing her what love was. What other proof of his feelings was there?
Rei opened her eyes and gazed into Shinji's face. She smiled slightly though the kiss, because of the way his eyes were closed. He looked so intense, as if he were concentrating on love as well.
Shinji shifted his hand and touched a spot inside her flower that made her whole body shudder. She moaned with appreciation into his mouth. Which in turn encouraged him to thrust his finger against that spot again and again and again.
The first child felt something building up inside of her. Her head tilted back and her back arched as she prepared her body for the release. For the first time in her existence, she truly felt alive, wanted, needed and loved.
Shinji gave her another passionate kiss and moaned in her mouth/ "I love you so much, Rei"
More happy tears streamed out of Rei's eyes because of his words. She smiled into his mouth as her back arched even more. She could see stars and felt sparks of electricity surging through her body. She couldn't explain the intense feeling his love was doing to her body, but she knew that this was an expression of his devotion to her. As her climax began to surface, she put a death grip on the bed sheets and moaned back into his mouth. "I love you too, oniisan!"
Shinji's eyes snapped open and he looked into his sisters beautiful face. The wrongness of this shared affection just dawned on him, as so did the ramifications of what he just did to her... He looked away from her face and at his hand.... What he was still doing to her! The third child guiltily whispered "Oh_my_God" then he quickly pulled back and withdrew is finger from inside her.
"Please don't stop!" Rei moaned out frantically as she grabbed his wrist and pushed his hand/finger back inside her. She looked into his eyes and panted out. "I'm close to something!" She wasn't sure what she was close to, she just new that his love was making something build up inside of her, and she wanted to see it through.
Shinji looked away from his sister and said in another guilty whisper. "Rei.... I can't". He tried once again to move his hand.
"Please, oniisan!" Rei pleaded and grabbed his wrist. The need in her voice made her sound as if she was on the verge of crying. " I want you to continue to show me what love is!"
oniinsan That word pierced his heart like a rusty jagged dagger. Shinji looked back into her crimson eyes and was overwhelmed by the need and the love in them. He knew ,in his eyes, he returned it ten fold. He needed her. He needed to be able to love her they way he wanted.....but he couldn't. Compounded with his own sorrow, he felt horrible because he knew that his sister was confused about what love was, and how siblings were allowed to express that love. But moreover, he knew that it was he who confused her. His mind went back to when he told her that he loved her and to what they were doing at the time.
When he felt her trying to put his hand back inside her, he quickly left his memory. Instead of pulling his hand back, he stopped his finger from entering her by balling up his fist.
When he did that, Rei felt crushed. She couldn't understand why he didn't want to show her love anymore. Reluctantly, she released his wrist and stared at him,, as her eyes watered up with unshed tears. Her chin quivered a bit right before she asked in a broken voice. "Did I do something wrong?"
When a single tear trickled down her cheek, Shinji's eyes swelled up with his own tears. He shook his head no and whispered. "No.. I did."
She tilted her head quizzically to the side as more tears trickled down her face. She didn't understand.
His own tears streamed steadily down his cheeks as he scooted back and sat on his knees. "I'm sorry, Rei"
The first child wiped away her tears, sat up, and walked on her knees to him. Her stomach tied in a knot when he flinched at her approach, but she continued, and wrapped her arms around him anyway. She rested her cheek against his and whispered in his ear. "I forgive you..."
Shinji started to cry harder. She was so understanding, too understanding. He started to wrap his arms around her waist, but his embraced was stopped when Rei caught his left hand, in her right, and slipped it into her panties and cried out in a whisper.
"Just... please... don't take your love away from me."
Shinji leaned back and fearfully looked into her crimson eyes. What he saw, broke his heart into a thousand pieces. For in her eyes, he could clearly see her desperation and fear of being rejected by him. "Rei..."
She pressed her forehead against his, and hiccupped her sobs. She could feel him trying to tug his hand away. Through her tears she asked. "Do you not love me any more?"
Shinji continued to look up into her eyes. Her hot tears were falling off her long eyelashes and splashing against his cheeks, mingling with his own tears. In a broken whisper, he answered her. "Of course, I love you..."
She looked deep into his dark blue eyes and cried in a whisper. "Then please don't stop showing me what love is.... I want to continue to know...love." She titled her head to the side and leaned forward and kissed him.
The third child's eyes widened when he felt her moist mouth on his. He pulled back, but Rei matched his movements and slipped her tongue in his mouth. Her kiss was so desperate. It radiated the rejection she felt. It was breaking his heart, for he could feel her fear that she lost his love in the kiss. He could feel the hope that by doing this act, she could get his love back. He could feel her insecurities and self-doubt. He wanted to reassure her, and return the kiss but... this is wrong. He broke the kiss and removed his hand from her panties.
Rei looked at him, hut beyond repair. She didn't understand why he didn't want to express his love with her anymore. He said he loved her. He said that she would now love because he loved her, and now when she thought she understood what it was, what it felt like, he took it away. He told her he did something wrong. That it was wrong to ...love... her...?.
Rei cupped her face in her tiny hands, and tried to fight off her onslaught of tears. She wondered if this was what emotions were. When she was under the control of the commander, she didn't have to experience them. He made sure of that. He gave her pills, downers that ensured compliance. However, she stopped taking them after she and Shinji made plans to leave. She didn't want to be swayed from their plan. But now, she was regretting that choice, and she wished for one of those little red pills that kept her oblivious to the hardships of life. She was regretting that now she was free from NERV *and *the pills that Ritsuko made sure she took. Because now, she was forced to feel. Feel everything that was once kept from her. To feel the joy as well as the pain. Oh the pain! These feelings of emotional pain overwhelmed her. It hurt every fiber of her being, and they made her wonder if this was what she wanted. She wanted to love; she wanted to be loved; but was this love? Pain!! Was love something to be given, and then cruelly taken away? She didn't know. All she knew was what Shinji showed her, and what he took away without reason.
She raked her fingers over her angelic face, and glared at her brother through red rimmed eyes. "I am not a doll!"
He was taken back by her declaration and how she mutilated her precious face. The only time he had ever heard her say those words was when she was talking about her relationship with his farther. Worried about her injuries, he reached his hand to her face and tried to wiped off the blood that trickled from the scratches, made by finger nails. Then he froze, and his eyes widened in shock and he wondered if that was how she saw him now? If that was how she felt. Used? In her eyes, did she really believe that he was no better than his father?
Rei waited a few seconds for her brother to respond, only because he seem to want to caress her face. She thought, hoped, he wanted to make everything right again, but he didn't. He didn't say anything. He didn't follow through in caressing her face. He just sat there and stared at her with a guilty expression. so he WAS just playing with me Her conclusion to his actions made her sorrow unbearable. She hit his hand away from her face, savagely wiped away some of her tears and hiccupped out. "I-I.. I *do* have feelings... Shinji" She turned away from him, quickly scooted of the bed, and cried out as she made her way to the cabin door. "...And...I ..I don't appreciate you toying with them.... I never asked you to tell me you loved me...." She stopped at the door and in a barely audible whisper cried out. "You didn't have to lie to me...."
Shinji looked at her standing there in her t-shirt and panties prepared to walk out that door and out of his life forever. He didn't know what to do or say, but he knew he loved her and that wasn't a lie. He just didn't know how to prove it to her without overstepping the boundaries between siblings, again. He jumped off his bed right, after she walked out the door. When he stepped into the hall, he was surprised to see how much distance she covered. He quickly ran down the narrow hall, and grabbed her wrist.
She spun her heals and faced him. "Leave me alone!"
"No!" He grabbed her other delicate wrist when she tried to hit him. "Rei, please listen to me!"
"Why!" She cried out. "So you can tell me more lies?"
"I didn't lie to you!" He assured loudly. "I love you!"
Because the walls of the cabins were paper thin, anyone and everyone could hear the two pilots yelling in the narrow corridor. So like moths to a flame, blinds went up, so cabin passengers could see the spectacle and those who were further down the hall, actually came out to see what was going on. Rei's voice was, of course, harder to hear because her voice was naturally low, but they heard the gist of what she said.
Oblivious to the audience, The first child shook her head no making her fine blue hair swish in front of her flushed face. "Then why did you take your love from me?!"
"I didn't" Shinji assured oblivious to his surroundings as well. Right now, all that mattered was making sure Rei didn't walk out of his life forever. "I could never take my love away from you.... You are my reason to live, Rei...I will always love you."
She looked into his eyes and found truth. She leaned forward and kissed his lips.
"Awe isn't that kawaii!" A man called out from down the hall "Now go to your room, little kiddies and make up properly!"
Shinji returned the kiss and embraced her, then pulled back after he heard the cat calls from the observers. "I'm sorry, Rei...we can't do this!"
Shaking and confused, Rei was completely speechless as she lowly backed away from him.
Shinji walked toward her and gently grabbed her hands. "Rei please... try to understand.. I do--"
"You lie!" She interrupted in a cry and tried to pull herself free from his grasp. "Stop lying to me!
"Rei, please try to understand!" He cried out, now grabbing her wrists to keep a hold of her. Her attempts to break free, barely had any strength behind them, giving a false illusion that she really wasn't trying to free herself. But when he looked into her crimson eyes, he could tell that all she wanted was for him to.
"Let me go!" She cried out in pure desperation. She inwardly cursed her weakness. It was a genetic flaw in her make-up that commander purposely included.
"Let her go, man!" Yelled another man. "Apparently you don't care for her. So stop f*cking with her emotions!"
Other observers started yelling at Shinji to let Rei go.
Shinji tightly pressed his eyes shut as he tried to ignore everyone around them and cried out. "I do love you but..." He opened his blue eyes and looked into her crimson ones. "We just can't do that anymore!"
"Why?" She stopped struggling and looked deep into his eyes for understanding. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No" He whispered solemnly.
"Are you sure? She asked meekly. When he nodded, she leaned forward for a reassuring kiss and whispered "Then prove it" right before her tender lips captured his.
He pulled back.
With this last betrayal, Rei's hurt quickly became anger. She was tired of her brother's declaration of love, but refusal to love her. She narrowed her eyes and cried. "If you love me, then why do you pull away when I kiss you...... Why won't you touch me anymore!"
"Because I can't!" He whispered solemnly.
"I will!" Laughed a man down the hall.
Shinji narrowed his eyes angrily at the man.
Rei ignored him and asked "Is it me?"
Another comment was made about Shinji just not being man enough.
The third child shook his head no and asked her "Can we go back into the cabin and talk about this?"
Rei ignored his request and asked. "Then what is it? Why are you rejecting me?"
"I'm not, Rei..." He assured, then pleaded as he tugged on her wrist and started dragging her. "Please... Lets go back to the cabin."
"No!" She twisted out of his grasp and backed up. She was not going back in there, were he could play with her emotions again. She wanted to know the truth. Good or bad. Whether he loved her or not. She wanted to know before she went anywhere with him. So she asked angrily and *very* loudly.
"If you love me, oniisan! Tell me why you will no longer make love to me!"
Shinji was at first shocked by the volume in her voice. In all the time he had known her, he had never heard her talk so loud . Not even when they were running for their lives at NERV. A millisecond later, he was horrified. His brain had just processed what she said. The pilot could hear everyone gasp in shock because of what Rei just called him. They thought that they were observing a lovers spat. Not a lovers spat between siblings. Shinji took a deep breath, and ignored the people around him and cried out. "Because it is forbidden..."
"But that didn't stop you before you...."
Shinji interrupted before she went into any details. "I'm sorry Rei. I'm sooo sorry."
"Oh how disgusting!" The man who had been hitting on Rei said. "Are you telling me you f*cked your sister?"
"No!" Shinji yelled to the man then looked at everyone and addressed everyone. "I never had sex with her!"
"Then why would she say that!" Yelled another person.
For the first time since they entered the hallway, Rei noticed the other people around them She looked at the brother defending his and her actions. She could tell that he wanted to runaway. He wanted to go back into the cabin and hide from the verbal abuse he was receiving,. But he wasn't going to leave, not until she went with him. So he stayed in that narrow hallway, and he verbally fought back with the people that accused them of....incest. Rei did not know of that word but she could tell that it wasn't a good thing. Because of all of the hostility and confusion, the first child decided that she *did* want to go back into the cabin.
Rei gently placed her hand over Shinji's balled fist. He spun around and looked at her, momentarily glaring at her with a look of rage before his gaze softening into forlorn love.
"I'm soo sorry" He whispered with pure regret.
She nodded and whispered. "I'm sorry too" and forced a warm smile.
He intertwined his fingers with hers and led her back to the room. Both did their best to ignore the hateful comments from the others in the hallways.
******************
In another part of Japan, A part that much resembled Hell...
The fallen angel, Adam, groaned as and raised himself to his knees. He had been shot AGAIN!! This was the third time he had been shot with a fatal injury as he made his way to the MAGI. The SEELE soldiers where really trying his divine patients. He rubbed the back of his neck and made sure that the would was completely healed, then he rubbed his back and made sure those wounds where healed as well.
"Damn cowards! Shooting me in the back!"
Slowly, he stood up and cautiously continued on his way. He didn't want to be shot again, for he could feel the pain of it. He could also feel the pain of the death. But unfortunately, death would not kill him. He was punished to die when the maker saw fit. Death was the curse and the privilege of the lililum. The curse was bestowed on them because of the choice that he and his wife made eons ago.
His thoughts of Eve made him quicken his pace. She was created from his flesh, but she was not divine. She was lillium and she died far too long ago. To many eons had passed for him to be denied to join with her.
"If I would have just protected you better..." A single tear escaped is crimson eyes "Then you wouldn't have been deceived."
He was too late to stop her before she bit into the fruit of that dreaded tree of knowledge. He was told by the maker to take care of her, but he failed in his job. He failed to protect her from temptation.
History places the blame of Adam and Eve's fall from grace on the shoulder's of his beloved wife. It's told that she ate the fruit, then brought the fruit to him, and seduced him into eating it as well. History lied. After Eve bit into the fruit, Adam knew that he could not bare to live in Eden without her. He knew whatever her punishment, he wanted to join her in it. So he willingly ate the fruit against *her* protest.
Eve did not want him to know what she now knew. When the bitter fruit trickled onto her tongue and mixed with her blood, she knew her mistake immediately. She new everything. Blood? Yes blood, because the fruit was not an apple. It was not sweet or inciting. It was not a fruit of the world of lillum. It was bitter; it also had thorns on its flesh, and the smell of it was foul, putrid even. Anything the maker could have done to make this fruit undesirable to eat, he did. The only reason he planted the tree in Eden was to make sure that they were worthy of his gift of eternal life and paradise. They weren't. They both chose against the maker. Eve chose knowledge; Adam chose her, when they both should have chosen to obey the one rule ever made by their maker. So they were punished for their sin of disobedience. Thrown out of Eden, and its location lost for all eternity. They were also punished with death. Not immediately but eventually. They would not be able to live together forever. They were to be separated in death. A punishment made specifically for Adam, because her chose her over the maker. Adam was punished with death too, but the time of his demise was to be determined by the maker.
The angel smirked as he walked through the dark corridors. For he found a loop hole in the makers punishment. He found out that when the last of the lillium died, so would he. So during the time that Christ walked the earth, he used his powers to make a prophet write a particular excerpt in the Dead Sea Scrolls, informing them of the angels arrival, and also some mumble jumble about eternal life and raising to the ranks of godhood. He did this to make sure that the finders of these scrolls would take up arms against the angels. Adam chuckled softly at his use of simple mind manipulation. Then smirked at his cleverness, for his plan worked.
He hid behind a corner and watched three solider run past him.
Though the scroll was written over two thousand years ago, Adam knew that on that divine day, Lillith would come for him. Time was ruled differently for his species and he new on that day Lillith would bring him back in to the land of Angels and back to his punishment. If the lillium didn't help him. He thought again about Lillith and scowled. She had come earlier than the others had, and she confronted him in Antarctica. They fought a fierce battle and cause the second impact. Unfortunately, that battle revealed his plan to become the death of the lillium. Because during the fight, he fused with her. Unfortunately, what he thought would happen didn't. Their merge only caused the destructive explosion that left only 1/3 of earths population alive. His attempt failed, because Lillith was not powerful enough to be the end of the lillium; she needed more power. She needed the divine energy of the other 15 angels. In their death, their souls would be housed inside Lillith because she was the ARK. She housed everyone and everything. She even held inside her, his precious Eve. He now knew that he was going to have to try again after Tabris. Another tear trickled down his check for his son. The child third and last child of he and Eve. The angel of free, will only because he was half Lillium. Tabris was his baby boy, and he sacrificed him to ensure the third impact.
Adam had housed his son in his soul after his first son Cain, killed Abel, his second child. That was when the realization of death finally dawned on him. His fear of losing his family made him hide his newly born child to protect him from the inevitable. During the second impact, Tabris expelled from him. It was part of Adams plan, to once again join with Eve. Tabris was still in the form of a baby, and the child was found by SEELE operatives. For the mere fact that Tabris was found in Antarctica, and survived the impact they knew that the child was clearly not human. SEELE put on record that he was born that day, and raised him within the confines of a secret sector of the UN walls. However, the only desire Tabris had while he was growing up was to rejoin with father, to be once again become eternal. It was all he had ever known. It was what he needed, to get back to his father. They knew this and told him that they would allow him to be with his father, but in the end, he was tricked and was confronted with Lillith.
After the fight, Adam had used up his divine energy and he cocooned himself into a protective egg. Lillith had spent most of her energy during the battle as well, and because she no longer enough strength to go back home she purposely allowed herself to be captured by Gendo She made a deal with the commander. She told him that she would help him ensure that the third impact didn't happen. She promised to give him the secret to making a man made angel, an Eva, but he had to take apart of her soul and create a living vessel to house it in. Lillith wanted Gendo to take her most powerful half. She wanted him to take Omega. Without Omega, their would be no third impact. He agreed and called the child Rei. He chose that name for many reasons. One was because he liked the name. However, his truest reason was because the name suited her perfectly. She was a the most powerful part of Lillith's soul. Soul, which is also a definition of Rei. And because the child was the end. She was Omega, nothing, which is also a definition of Rei.
Despite all his efforts, the commander was tricked by Adam's simple mind manipulations in the end. The angel tricked the commander into thinking that the egg of Adam would be safer if he it was with him at all times, just like he kept Rei with him. So the Gendo implanted the egg into his hand and was instantly killed. Adam then controlled the shell of the commanders body to control NERV under the false pretense that he was ensuring the survival of the human race when he was actually just waiting for all the angels, who were coming to retrieve him and bring him back, where killed and their souls deposited inside Lillith. It was a perfect plan, but it back fired. He wasn't expecting Gendo's son to discover his relations with Omega. He wasn't expecting Omega to reject him. He wasn't expecting Omega to runaway with the boy.
Adam ran toward the elevator and smirked when he saw the dead body of the major leaning against it. He hated that woman because she got on his last divine nerve. Actually he hated everyone he worked with, except Ritsuko. In his opinion, she was a good f*ck. Not much else, but nothing else besides getting back to Eve mattered to him. Actually, not even the sex she gave him mattered, but she gave it so freely. So he took it. The doctor was always trying to steal Gendo's affection from Rei. She didn't understand why he cared so much for the girl. She only saw the DNA he used, and mistaking assumed that he was trying to replace his dead wife with the child he created. The reason he used Yui's DNA was because he loved his wife and wanted to honor her last wish by creating the daughter that they were supposed to have. The reason he kept Rei with him at all times was because he promised Lillith that he would always protect Omega.
Adam walked into the elevator, swiped his authorization card, and pressed the button that would take him to the MAGI. He needed to destroy it. As long as it is operating effectively, he couldn't use his powers without being detected. And that was unacceptable. He knew by doing this, Omega would be able to use her powers without being detected too. but she wouldn't know that. So she wouldn't use them and chance being caught.
The angel patiently stood in the elevator as it took him to his destination. He smirked evilly. "Ritsuko... I'll see you soon."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I still don't own anything that deals with Evangelion
^_^
Ok one thing before you go ^_^ That little explanation about Adam and Eve.. well that's all a lie. ^_^ I am not trying to add anything to that holy story or to any story in the Bible. ^_~ Why am I putting this little explanation? Because I don't want to be cursed. And if you know what Paul wrote in the New Testament, you'll understand why I did this. And if you don't, well I'm not going to tell you what he wrote, because its not my place to try to conform you into my beliefs. So this is all about *me* and *my* soul, and that's why I want you to know that everything I wrote is FICTION. ^_^
Oh one more comment. I'm not changing the rating. One has to be at least 17 to read a 'R' fic and at least 17 to read a NC17 fic. the only difference between the two is sex. NC17 should have SEX and lots of it. On every chapter. (hopefully)^_~ Rei and Shinji have yet to have sex . They only touched, kissed and grinded over clothes. ^_~ but thanks for the suggestion anyway ^_^
I love ya lots I really really do
Kimberly
