Title: Miracles Happen (Christmas 2001 special)
Author: Yugure
Rating: PG-13
Bias: Lina/Zel
Author Notes: I deliberately left out some facts and observations, so if you get confused, feel free to review the story and ask me a question or three. As a warning, this story is kind of sad, but kind of happy, too. After all, miracles happen. ^_^ Merry Christmas, everyone!
The steady beeping of the machine slowly drove Lina out of her mind. She gritted her teeth and tried to slow the intense throbbing of the vein by her temple. Her efforts were futile, and as the male nurse walked into the room with a saccharine, falsely sympathetic look on his face, Lina felt her blood pressure rise exponentially.
"Well?!" she demanded, clenching the chewed-up pencil in her hand.
"Well, looks like he's still alive," the nurse replied, checking the IV bag and the various blocks of equipment around the room. He was being purposefully vague; Lina knew it. The pencil in her hand broke with a loud snap and the nurse's eyes widened. Lina glared at him until he left the room.
"Idiot," she grumbled as she dropped the broken pencil into a wastebasket. With a heavy sigh, Lina gently wrapped her fingers around the ivory-white hand resting on the hospital bed. "Don't worry, we'll get through this together," she whispered.
The face she gazed upon did not move in response. The brilliant sapphire eyes Lina loved were hidden beneath heavy eyelids. Tousled black hair spilled across the pillow. Lina did not hide the tears that rolled down her face.
"Please… for me, for us, please don't go," she croaked. The only reply was the beeping of the machine. "Zelgadis…"
***
"So this is what my life amounts to," Xelloss snorted ruefully as he gazed past his sister's head and out the window. Snowflakes lazily drifted down in the chilly evening air. Xelloss brought up a shaky hand to push away the black hair hanging in his eyes. He looked back at his sister with pale violet eyes. "Brought down in the prime of my life by drugs and a gun. Ame-chan, can you ever forgive me for ruining your life?"
"Of course, onii-san! But don't blame yourself!" Amelia cried. Caught up in grief, she threw her arms around Xelloss and buried her head in his chest. Xelloss cringed with pain but he knew he couldn't bring himself to say no to Amelia.
"There's no one else to blame, Ame-chan. It was my decision to be a pusher, my decision to be a dealer."
"You did it to help us! Since Mum left, and Daddy doesn't help with the bills, you kept us from starvation!" The pathetic tone of voice was almost too much for Xelloss to handle. Amelia resettled herself in the seat beside the hospital bed. Her blue eyes, like the deepest ocean, were brimming with tears. Xelloss looked away. He knew the truth. He didn't want Amelia to know. She was already hurting too much.
"Amelia, get the doctor. The meds are wearing off. I don't think I have much time left," Xelloss mumbled.
"Don't say that! You'll survive!"
"I doubt it."
"Please onii-san! I know you fell in with a bad crowd, and I forgive you for your transgressions, but you still have some honor left! You never stooped so low as to do drugs! It's only a bullet wound; you're strong enough to live!"
The silence dragged on, only broken by the intermittent beeping of medical machines. Amelia sat, transfixed. Her mind began churning and interpreting the silence. Xelloss refused to reply or look at Amelia.
"Onii-san?" Xelloss's will broke, even without seeing the hurt look on Amelia's face.
"That money you seem to think I saved… it went up my nose, Amelia. If you understand what that means," Xelloss said.
"No. It didn't."
"Amelia, don't do this denial thing."
"Onii-san, how could you lie to me like that?! Are you clean now?"
The silence was heavy and laden with sorrow.
"My insides are messed up pretty bad, Ame-chan."
"I'm going to get a doctor," Amelia whispered. She left the room without a backwards glance.
***
Lina stared at the hospital room door from her seat in the hallway. They had kicked her out, for heaven knows what, and it made Lina very, very angry. For all she knew, Zelgadis could be taking his last breath.
The door next to Zelgadis's room opened and a pretty brunette stepped out. Her face was drenched with tears. Lina watched her as the girl walked towards the nurses' station. Lina dropped her gaze and hid her face in her hands.
Soon she felt another presence beside her. Lina looked up and saw the brunette sitting next to her. Neither girl spoke.
Finally, after what seemed like eternity, the girl asked, "What's your name?"
"Lina."
"I'm Amelia."
The silence fell again.
"What brings you to the hospital on Christmas Eve?" Amelia queried.
"I'd rather not talk about it," Lina replied gruffly. Amelia didn't seem to catch the clue that Lina would rather be alone.
"My stupid onii-san got caught in a bad drug deal. One of his clients was upset and he shot my brother a couple times, and left him to die on the street," Amelia said.
"Hmm," Lina grunted.
"And you know what else?" Amelia continued. "My onii-san was doing drugs, too! I'm so mad at him. He threw his life away, just like that! And he's not fighting now, either. He seems to have given up. I don't want him to die…"
"That's too bad," Lina replied half-heartedly. Somewhere, deep inside her, something was unfreezing. The anger she had stuffed down began to unfurl and dissipate. Somehow, this girl telling her own story of sorrow broke up the pain into more manageable chunks.
"I… my boyfriend was in an accident," Lina began. She rubbed her eyes fiercely. "He was on his way to my house. We were going to celebrate Christmas Eve together. I wanted him to hurry, because I was so excited. The roads were really icy. He… lost control and crashed into a tree. I feel like… like it's my fault. If I hadn't begged him to hurry, he wouldn't be here in this damn hospital." The tears were flowing freely now. Amelia said nothing, only wrapped her arms around Lina.
Overcome by the kindness of a stranger, the wall restraining Lina's emotions crumbled. The sobbing began. Together the two women grieved.
***
Zelgadis gaped at his surroundings, or rather the lack thereof. Puzzled, he began patting down his clothes. Not a rip anywhere. Nothing hurt. Zelgadis knew he had been in an accident, but he had no idea where he was now.
"Welcome to the afterlife, my friend," a cherry voice said. Zelgadis spun around and came face to face with an angel. The androgynous angel smiled and pearly white teeth glimmered. Locks of blonde hair brushed white tunic-clad shoulders. Gentle green eyes peered at Zelgadis's mystified face and laughed.
"I'm dead?!" Zelgadis exclaimed.
The angel contemplated this for a moment, then said: "Not quite."
"What do you mean, 'not quite'? Either you're dead or you're not!"
"That's not entirely true, Zelgadis," the angel replied.
"How do you know my name? What is going on?" Zelgadis inquired. "Will you please tell me what's happening?"
"In just a moment. We're waiting for someone." The angel smiled serenely.
***
"It's not your fault, Lina-san," Amelia said gently. She pulled away from Lina and searched the red-brown eyes for a sign of acceptance. Amelia saw only doubt and self-loathing.
"But he wouldn't be in the hospital if I – "
"Don't blame yourself. Things like this happen. It wasn't anybody's fault. You couldn't have done anything differently." Amelia held up her hand as Lina tried to argue. "I bet you boyfriend would've done anything to be with you tonight, even if you had expressly forbidden it. Am I right?" Lina smiled weakly and nodded her head. "So it was a sick twist of fate. Not you, just fate."
"Fate sucks," Lina grumbled, and Amelia giggled quietly.
"You got it," Amelia replied. The petite brunette sighed and wiped away the tears beginning to pool in her eyes.
"Hey, I'm sure your brother will come out okay," Lina said. She took Amelia's hands in her own. "You're not blaming yourself, are you?"
"No, I know it's not my fault, but… I don't know how I can forgive my onii-san. He lied to me, Lina. I'm angry with him for messing up his life. He had such potential to be someone big, to make a difference in the world."
"Forgiveness is the key to healing, Amelia. If… I mean, when your brother gets out of the hospital, he's going to need your help. You need to be there for him."
"But I'm so scared, Lina-san," Amelia whispered. Helping Lina with her worries seemed to open something in Amelia. She felt as though she could tell Lina anything, and everything would turn out okay. "So scared of failing him, scared of him going back to the streets and drugs, scared of getting too involved…"
"Bravery is not the absence of fear. It is facing your fears and overcoming them. Can you be brave, Amelia? Your brother is going to need you. Be brave for him. Don't let anything discourage you. As a good friend of mine once said, 'If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.'"
The two girls sat in silence for a few minutes. Amelia let the words run through her mind. Finally, she stood up and smiled down at Lina.
"Thank you. You're a very strong person, Lina. I'll be with my brother if you need me again. I hope everything works out for you." Amelia vanished into the hospital room across the hall.
***
"Xelloss, how good of you to join us," the angel exclaimed, enveloping said man into welcoming arms.
"Who are you, what am I doing here, and why do I have no feet?" Xelloss demanded. Zelgadis glanced down. Sure enough, none of them had feet. If they did, they were obscured by a swirling mist.
"I am the angel Gabriella and you are both on the threshold of the afterlife. As for the feet – " Gabriella snapped two perfect ivory fingers together and the mist disappeared, revealing the missing feet. " – That was just special effects."
"Angels sure are funny in heaven," Xelloss muttered.
"My friend, this is not heaven."
"So where are we?" Zelgadis asked. Xelloss seemed to notice him for the first time.
"I told you, the threshold of the afterlife. I'm afraid we don't have much time. You'll have to make the decision soon."
"What decision?" both mortals demanded.
***
"Miss Inverse, I'm afraid there's nothing more we can do," the doctor explained gently. Lina, having been let back in the room, collapsed in the chair beside the bed.
"It's Christmas Eve, for crying out loud! How can you let him die?!" she exploded. The doctor winced at the heat in her voice.
"We've done everything we can. It's only a matter of time now. If you wish to stay with him…" The doctor trailed off at the withering look on Lina's face.
"Then get out. If you can't help him, get out," Lina snarled. She clenched her teeth together and glared at the doctor until he left. In his absence, Lina put her head on the starchy sheets and wept.
***
"Zelgadis, you have been given a second chance," Gabriella declared. "Shortly your earthly body will die. We cannot change this, but we have an alternative. Your soul is not ready to leave yet."
"What does that mean?!" Zelgadis shouted. He felt frustrated and confused, two emotions he hated feeling.
"What about me? Do I get a second chance, too? I have to live, you see. My sister, she needs me," Xelloss cut of Zelgadis's tirade.
"You, I'm afraid," Gabriella said to Xelloss, "are destined to die."
***
Amelia had fallen asleep with bother her hands clasping Xelloss's. She was deep enough into the REM cycle that she did not register the flat buzzing of the heart monitor.
***
The flat buzzing of the monitor in Zelgadis's room tore through Lina's heart like a ravenous beast.
"No!" she shrieked, leaping to her feet. "You can't die!" The nurses rushed into the room and began pulling out machines to begin resuscitation. They could not move Lina from her post near the bed. "Don't die, don't die, don't die…" Lina kissed the pale forehead below her. "I love you, don't leave me, it's Christmas Eve, you can't die…"
***
Zelgadis, you have a choice to make. You may continue on into the afterlife, or you may return to the mortal realm," Gabriella continued.
"Like that's a hard choice to make. I'm going back. Lina needs me. It's Christmas Eve!" Zelgadis retorted.
"You won't exactly… be you, you know."
"Excuse me?"
"Your earthly body is dead. Your soul has nowhere else to go, except…" Here Gabriella paused and waited for the connection to be made.
"Where?" Zelgadis had a sinking feeling he already knew the answer.
***
The nurses left the room, partly because there was no hope for Zelgadis, but mostly because Lina ordered them out. In the room, Lina kissed Zelgadis lightly and wiped away her tears that fell onto his face.
"I'll never forget you. I will always love you," she whispered.
***
Amelia woke with a start. Her dream was terribly disturbing. Sweat beaded across her forehead.
"Xelloss?" she croaked. The heart monitor steadily blipped. The man in the bed looked perplexed.
"I can't believe I actually made it…"
"Of course you did! Oh, Xelloss, I was so scared! I had a nightmare that you died and that machine kept buzzing and the nurses tried to bring you back but they couldn't and – " Amelia rambled on and on as Xelloss tore off the electrodes and tubes attached to his body.
"It was just a nightmare, Amelia. I'm alive. That's all that matters."
"Hey… what happened to your eyes?" Amelia suddenly grasped Xelloss's hand, keeping him from getting off the bed. "They're –"
"I'll be right back. Stay here."
"But – "
"No buts. I'll be right back." Xelloss left the room, leaving Amelia to sit and wonder.
***
Lina looked up at the knock on the door. A handsome man with straight, shoulder length black hair and piercing blue eyes stood on the threshold.
"May I come in?" The voice was strangely soothing and familiar. Lina sniffled and nodded mechanically.
"Do I know you?" she asked as the man knelt beside her. She barely registered the fact that he was wearing only a hospital gown and a smile.
"Yes," the man said as he took Lina's hands into his own, "You do." He glanced at the clock on the wall. "Merry Christmas, Lina."
