Part 5
"What are you doing here, Riley?" Buffy asked, trying not to
panic. All she could think about was how she couldn't let
him see Spike.
"I just wanted to see you. We never got the chance to finish
our conversation last night," Riley answered, completely
oblivious to Buffy's alarm.
"But, uh, why didn't you call first?" Buffy asked, trying to
deflect Riley's attempts to enter.
He sighed. Now he could tell something was up. "Buffy,
what's wrong?"
"Wrong? Why do you think something's wrong?" she asked
innocently.
"Okay, now, I *know* something's wrong. Why won't you let
me in?"
She continued her 'little Miss Innocent' act, "Why do you
think I won't let you in?"
She stepped aside, proving herself, all the while praying
her friends figured out what she was trying to do and set
to making it happen.
Satisfied, Riley entered. Buffy shut the door and saw that
her friends were no longer in the kitchen and sent out a silent
prayer of gratitude. They knew what she was trying to do.
"So, what do you want to talk about?" Buffy asked.
"Well-"
There was a loud thump and a man yelling 'Ow!' coming from
the other room.
"What was that?" Riley asked.
"What was what?" Buffy asked innocently.
Riley regarded her. He knew she knew very well what that
noise was. He started for the living room but was blocked
by Buffy standing in the doorway. Irritated by her actions,
Riley pushed his way through.
"Riley-" Buffy said, following him.
The two of them entered the living room to find Xander,
Will, and Tara sitting on the couch, previously occupied by
Spike. They moved him upstairs. And for that Buffy was
thankful.
"Hey, it's Riley," Xander said, standing up and offering his
hand to the man before him, "Long time, no see."
Riley shook his hand. Behind him, Buffy mouthed the words
'thank you.' Xander shrugged, 'no problem.'
"How are you, man?" Xander asked Riley.
"Fine," Riley answered. He was still suspicious of what
he heard. He regarded the quartet of 'innocent' people.
"You know what? I just remembered there's somewhere I need
to be. We'll talk later. I'll be sure to call next time."
He let himself out.
Now he was gone, Buffy voiced her thanks to all three of
them.
"No problem. 'Cept Spike's a lot heavier than he looks.
Nearly put out my back," Xander said jokingly, plopping
down on the couch.
Buffy allowed herself to smile a little before returning
to business.
"I think he's starting to get suspicions."
Willow nodded, "Yeah, I got that vibe, too."
"You think he knows about Spike?" Tara asked.
"Well, I'm sure he knows about his chip, but I don't know
if he knows Spike is here. I'm hoping he doesn't," Buffy
said, pacing the room, "Because I really don't need to deal
with that right now. I already have enough on my mind.
Okay, somehow, I've got to figure out if Riley knows something
about Spike's chip. You know, a way to stop it from killing
him... reactivate it, remove it-"
"Woah. Hang on, Buffy. Remove it? Have you gone insane?
If we get it removed, he'll start killing again. Turn his
back on us. Kill *us*," Xander exclaimed. He trusted Spike
about as much as he could throw him.
Buffy shook her head, looking at him, "I believe he won't."
She shrugged, "'Sides, he knows that if he does, I'll stake
him. For real."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Call it a feeling."
Riley entered the motel room-turned-temporary-headquarters.
In the middle of the room, or as close to the middle as they
could get with the bed in their way, stood a table with maps
and files, and what looked like surveillance pictures,
surrounded by Graham and the major. Riley marched up to them.
"Sir, it is not confirmed, but I believe I know whereabouts of
Hostile 17," Riley informed the major.
The major nodded, "Good. Now, I want you to take whatever
action you deem necessary to give me a confirmation."
"Yes, sir."
Buffy quietly opened her bedroom door. On her bed, Spike
laid. He looked like he was in dreamland. She moved to the
bed and sat on the side opposite of him.
"What is it, Slayer?"
She jumped, "I thought you were sleeping."
He turned his head to face her. His eyes were shining with
tears he absolutely refused to allow to fall. She saw them.
"Spike, what's wrong?" she asked, even though she knew damn
well what was wrong. But she also knew Spike needed to let
it all out.
"What the bloody hell do you think it wrong?" Spike answered.
Good, she thought, He's getting angry.
Spike continued, "I have a bloody chip that's been shoved
into my brain. Suddenly I can't be a vampire. And now,
I'm going to die because of this damned chip. But before
it kills me, it has to torture me and make me weak and
pathetic and paralyzed. And everyone tries to tell me that
everything is going to be fine, that I'm not going to die.
But I know better. The only way is to take it out and we all
know everyone would never dare do that because, after all,
I'm a killer. An evil vampire without a soul who can't change.
And I keep asking myself why every single one of you is helping
me. None of you like me. Because I'm such an unlikable and
unlovable *creature*. Because I'm a killer. Nothing but a
killer. I think I know why you do what you do. You don't
want the blood...or dust, in my case, of an helpless monster
on your hands. Helping me makes you feel good...useful. I
can't do this. I can't lie here and be waited on like some
kind of wanker because everyone's feeling bad about this whole
situation. Maybe I should go back to the crypt and die in
peace. Where no one will see me like this..."
During Spike's monologue, his tears that he wouldn't allow
to fall did fall. And Buffy couldn't help but feel sadness
and fear of losing him and anger at the men who did this to
him. She couldn't stop herself from pulling him close to
her and holding him. He feebly tried to stop her but he
couldn't...he needed this. Of course, he wouldn't ever admit
to anyone... Buffy found herself murmuring words of comfort
to him despite his complaints a second ago about them. And
Spike found himself leaning into her embrace. He also found
himself struck by another jolt of electricity-sponsored pain.
He squeezed his eyes shut and held onto Buffy tight. He knew
she would be able to handle his tight clasp. He tried to not
yell out in pain. He needed to prove that he was strong. But
the pain proved to be too much. He let out a moan. Tears
found themselves squeezing through his tightly closed lids.
When the pain left him, he gasped out in a pained, tired voice,
"I can't do this. I don't think I can do this."
Buffy lifted his head to look at him in the eyes. "You are
one of the strongest people I know. You *can* do this. You
can make it through this." And she leaned and gave him a
quick peck on the lips.
He looked surprised. "Buffy?"
She placed a finger on his lips, silencing him, "How many
times have I told you that I *will* get to the bottom of this.
Trust me. I'm not gonna let you die. I promise."
He nodded silently and laid his head to her stomach. She
held him as he fell asleep again. Well, Buff, now that
you've promised...make it so..., she thought to herself as
she ran her fingers through his blond locks.
End Part 5
TBC...
"What are you doing here, Riley?" Buffy asked, trying not to
panic. All she could think about was how she couldn't let
him see Spike.
"I just wanted to see you. We never got the chance to finish
our conversation last night," Riley answered, completely
oblivious to Buffy's alarm.
"But, uh, why didn't you call first?" Buffy asked, trying to
deflect Riley's attempts to enter.
He sighed. Now he could tell something was up. "Buffy,
what's wrong?"
"Wrong? Why do you think something's wrong?" she asked
innocently.
"Okay, now, I *know* something's wrong. Why won't you let
me in?"
She continued her 'little Miss Innocent' act, "Why do you
think I won't let you in?"
She stepped aside, proving herself, all the while praying
her friends figured out what she was trying to do and set
to making it happen.
Satisfied, Riley entered. Buffy shut the door and saw that
her friends were no longer in the kitchen and sent out a silent
prayer of gratitude. They knew what she was trying to do.
"So, what do you want to talk about?" Buffy asked.
"Well-"
There was a loud thump and a man yelling 'Ow!' coming from
the other room.
"What was that?" Riley asked.
"What was what?" Buffy asked innocently.
Riley regarded her. He knew she knew very well what that
noise was. He started for the living room but was blocked
by Buffy standing in the doorway. Irritated by her actions,
Riley pushed his way through.
"Riley-" Buffy said, following him.
The two of them entered the living room to find Xander,
Will, and Tara sitting on the couch, previously occupied by
Spike. They moved him upstairs. And for that Buffy was
thankful.
"Hey, it's Riley," Xander said, standing up and offering his
hand to the man before him, "Long time, no see."
Riley shook his hand. Behind him, Buffy mouthed the words
'thank you.' Xander shrugged, 'no problem.'
"How are you, man?" Xander asked Riley.
"Fine," Riley answered. He was still suspicious of what
he heard. He regarded the quartet of 'innocent' people.
"You know what? I just remembered there's somewhere I need
to be. We'll talk later. I'll be sure to call next time."
He let himself out.
Now he was gone, Buffy voiced her thanks to all three of
them.
"No problem. 'Cept Spike's a lot heavier than he looks.
Nearly put out my back," Xander said jokingly, plopping
down on the couch.
Buffy allowed herself to smile a little before returning
to business.
"I think he's starting to get suspicions."
Willow nodded, "Yeah, I got that vibe, too."
"You think he knows about Spike?" Tara asked.
"Well, I'm sure he knows about his chip, but I don't know
if he knows Spike is here. I'm hoping he doesn't," Buffy
said, pacing the room, "Because I really don't need to deal
with that right now. I already have enough on my mind.
Okay, somehow, I've got to figure out if Riley knows something
about Spike's chip. You know, a way to stop it from killing
him... reactivate it, remove it-"
"Woah. Hang on, Buffy. Remove it? Have you gone insane?
If we get it removed, he'll start killing again. Turn his
back on us. Kill *us*," Xander exclaimed. He trusted Spike
about as much as he could throw him.
Buffy shook her head, looking at him, "I believe he won't."
She shrugged, "'Sides, he knows that if he does, I'll stake
him. For real."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Call it a feeling."
Riley entered the motel room-turned-temporary-headquarters.
In the middle of the room, or as close to the middle as they
could get with the bed in their way, stood a table with maps
and files, and what looked like surveillance pictures,
surrounded by Graham and the major. Riley marched up to them.
"Sir, it is not confirmed, but I believe I know whereabouts of
Hostile 17," Riley informed the major.
The major nodded, "Good. Now, I want you to take whatever
action you deem necessary to give me a confirmation."
"Yes, sir."
Buffy quietly opened her bedroom door. On her bed, Spike
laid. He looked like he was in dreamland. She moved to the
bed and sat on the side opposite of him.
"What is it, Slayer?"
She jumped, "I thought you were sleeping."
He turned his head to face her. His eyes were shining with
tears he absolutely refused to allow to fall. She saw them.
"Spike, what's wrong?" she asked, even though she knew damn
well what was wrong. But she also knew Spike needed to let
it all out.
"What the bloody hell do you think it wrong?" Spike answered.
Good, she thought, He's getting angry.
Spike continued, "I have a bloody chip that's been shoved
into my brain. Suddenly I can't be a vampire. And now,
I'm going to die because of this damned chip. But before
it kills me, it has to torture me and make me weak and
pathetic and paralyzed. And everyone tries to tell me that
everything is going to be fine, that I'm not going to die.
But I know better. The only way is to take it out and we all
know everyone would never dare do that because, after all,
I'm a killer. An evil vampire without a soul who can't change.
And I keep asking myself why every single one of you is helping
me. None of you like me. Because I'm such an unlikable and
unlovable *creature*. Because I'm a killer. Nothing but a
killer. I think I know why you do what you do. You don't
want the blood...or dust, in my case, of an helpless monster
on your hands. Helping me makes you feel good...useful. I
can't do this. I can't lie here and be waited on like some
kind of wanker because everyone's feeling bad about this whole
situation. Maybe I should go back to the crypt and die in
peace. Where no one will see me like this..."
During Spike's monologue, his tears that he wouldn't allow
to fall did fall. And Buffy couldn't help but feel sadness
and fear of losing him and anger at the men who did this to
him. She couldn't stop herself from pulling him close to
her and holding him. He feebly tried to stop her but he
couldn't...he needed this. Of course, he wouldn't ever admit
to anyone... Buffy found herself murmuring words of comfort
to him despite his complaints a second ago about them. And
Spike found himself leaning into her embrace. He also found
himself struck by another jolt of electricity-sponsored pain.
He squeezed his eyes shut and held onto Buffy tight. He knew
she would be able to handle his tight clasp. He tried to not
yell out in pain. He needed to prove that he was strong. But
the pain proved to be too much. He let out a moan. Tears
found themselves squeezing through his tightly closed lids.
When the pain left him, he gasped out in a pained, tired voice,
"I can't do this. I don't think I can do this."
Buffy lifted his head to look at him in the eyes. "You are
one of the strongest people I know. You *can* do this. You
can make it through this." And she leaned and gave him a
quick peck on the lips.
He looked surprised. "Buffy?"
She placed a finger on his lips, silencing him, "How many
times have I told you that I *will* get to the bottom of this.
Trust me. I'm not gonna let you die. I promise."
He nodded silently and laid his head to her stomach. She
held him as he fell asleep again. Well, Buff, now that
you've promised...make it so..., she thought to herself as
she ran her fingers through his blond locks.
End Part 5
TBC...
