****************

"The Moss residence. How may I help you?" I hear Eve

say formally into the telephone. Abi, Mother, and I

listen closely while pretending not to.

"I'm sorry, who?" She sounds surprised.

After a pause she says, "Oh, you must mean Donnatella.

Yes, she's here. May I ask who's calling?" Huh? I

didn't give anyone my number here.

"Oh. Really." Her voice is so cold I can see my breath

in the air. "Well, she can't come to the phone right

now."

I jump up and run into the kitchen. "Thank you for

screening my calls, Eve, but I think I can handle it

from here." I practically wrestle the phone from her

grip and speak into the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Donna. Thank God. I thought you were dead."

"Josh!" I say happily, not realizing my mistake until

I hear my mother come up behind me. I don't so much

hear her as feel the waves of disapproval flowing from

her small frame. Shit. This is not going to be good.

"Umm...this really isn't a good time."

"NOT A GOOD TIME? I've sent you twenty e-mails in the

past five days! Do you have any idea how many that is

a day?"

"Um, four?"

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Here. My computer was confiscated."

"Confiscated? Are you in prison?"

"It only seems that way." I turn to my mother. "Could

I have a few minutes, please?"

"You're dating a politician," she accuses.

"Yes," I lie, desperately wanting to speak to Josh

alone before my mother seizes the telephone.

"Why?"

"I'm in love with him," I answer without thought. She

gives me a strange look and walks back into the living

room, shutting the kitchen door behind her. What just

happened?

"Josh? You still there?"

"Yeah. Yeah." He suddenly sounds unusually quiet and

distracted. Must be the long distance connection.

"How'd you get this number?"

"Oh, I looked in your FBI file." WHAT?

"I have a *FBI* file?"

"Yeah. Nothing very incriminating, though. I forgot I

even had it."

"Why do you have my FBI file?" Why isn't he gloating

over this?

"Actually, Leo had it. He gave it to me so I wouldn't

call in the National Guard to find you."

I smile at that. "You wanted to call in the National

Guard?"

"I would have settled for the FBI. You really didn't

get any of my e-mails?

"No, I got caught hiding in the closet while I was

yelling at you about your drunkenness."

"Were you actually yelling aloud?"

"Yeah, that might have been what gave me away."

"Stealth was never a big thing for you." Now he sounds

a bit better, but there's still something strange in

his voice.

"Are you okay? You sound weird."

"No, no. I'm fine. How's the family?"

"At this point I wish I really had an Uncle Vito."

I can almost see him nod in understanding. "Who

answered the phone?"

"My sister Godelieve."

"Godelieve?"

"Yup."

"That's just frightening."

"Tell me about it." I pause, wondering if I should

tell him about my little Freudian slip earlier. "I

have a confession to make."

"Yeah?" How am I supposed to tell him this?

"My parents are republican." Damn. I chickened out.

"WHAT? WHAT?"

"See, and I was afraid you make a big deal out of

this."

"How-you...how could you-" he continues to stutter

while I talk over him.

"Actually, only my father's republican. My mother

hates all politicians."

Suddenly his sputters of indignation cease. "Oh."

"What is with you?"

"Nothing. I just need to go back to work."

"Just two more days and then you can resume your role

of slave driver."

"Yeah. When do you get back?" He's really creeping me

out with this quiet thing.

"Tomorrow night."

"Do you have a ride?"

"Huh?"

"Do you have a ride back from the airport?"

"No. I was just going to take a taxi. Why?"

"I was just wondering if someone was...you

know...taking care of..." I don't think I have ever

heard Joshua Lyman being uncomfortable.

"Are you offering to pick me up?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Josh-"

"Yes, I'm offering to pick you up."

"That would be wonderful. Flight 345 on TWA. Okay?"

"Yeah. Great. See you then." And with that he hangs

up.

See what happens? I come back to this house for one

damn week and the insanity spreads to the rest of my

life like a damn disease.

ARGH!