Walking In A WWF Winter Wonderland

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Chapter 3- Rockin' around the Christmas trees…

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A.N: Hiya ya'll it's that time again, firstly my response to reviews, Adrienne, I am very glad my story causes you to scare everyone in C.A class, and also 2 most of you, Shane O is coming, be patient! Here comes the money! Thanx 4 suggestions! To Death S. I am very sorry about lack of Kane, he just isn't a very vocal person y'know, but I will make sure to give him a more prominent part, thanx 4 the review. Huntress, the Steph and Jericho is a must have, I mean y'know with all the mistletoe they're bound o get some sometime, and you'll have to wait and see about the Lita/Jeff wont ya? ;) thanx 4 reviewing, all of you! Happy hols!

/It's about midnight, Stacey is STILL scrubbing herself off at the kitchen sink, Steph is sitting on the couch, can't move because Kurt is asleep and lying on her./

Steph: EEW!

Stacey: EWW!

Kurt: Mmmph, miiiiillllk, (snort) gmmmphle (snnnnoooorrrreee)

Steph: (trying to shake Kurt awake) KURT! You are giving me a dead arm, and you are…EEWW drooling all over my sweater!

Kurt: Mmm, Santa…

Stacey: FREAKY! How'd I manage to get the little freak to kiss me, he aint anything like Matt!

/The two girls eye the mistletoe lying on the table suspiciously/

Stacey: Throw it away!

Steph: I aint touching it!

/Just then there is a creak on the stair, the two spin round shocked/

Stacey: Oh Matt thank God!

Matt: Wha? I'm only here for some cocoa, is Kurt asleep?

Steph: (Pointing to conked out Kurt drooling on her arm) Unfortunately!

Matt: Cool, don't tell him about the milk kay?

Stacey: (grabbing mistletoe) MATTY?

Matt: (grabbing his cocoa quickly) Uh Stacey dya know some of your foundation's smudged?

Stacey: EEK! Where? Oh God it's where that stupid Olympic jackass kissed me!

Matt: Wow, you and Kurt, I'd never have guessed, you'll make a great couple!

Stacey: wha- wha- WHAT?!

Austin: HEY! I WHAT?! I HEARD THAT YOU LIL MEALY MOUTHED-WHAT?! BITCH!

Stacey: I would never want Kurt when I could have-

Matt: Night guys.

Stacey: Oh for fucks sake! Can't I ever catch a break?

Kurt: (Jumping up with a start and shining a mini torch at Steph) WHO NICKED MY MILK?!

Steph: Ow, get that thing outta my eye! No one did Kurt, go to bed, I think you popped my tit!

DDP: That's not a bad thing Steph!

Steph: Shuddup or I'll get Austin!

DDP: EEK!

Kurt: hmm, I can't believe it my milk senses were wrong, how worrying?!

Stacey: Sure Kurt, THAT'S THE WORRYING PART!

*

/The next morning/

B.T: The 5 time WCW champion is awake!

Rock: Oh praise the Lord!

Y2J: Okay, so who is cooking breakfast for the Undisputed champion of the world!

Austin: You WHAT!? You little jackass! You have more balls than a Christmas tree!

Taker: Speakin' of… we aint got a Christmas tree!

Kurt: No Christmas tree?

Jeff: Oh NO!

Kurt: (tears in eyes) so, we have, no Christmas tree, my milk senses are wrong and SANTA CAN'T GET DOWN THE CHIMNEY BECAUSE A FREAK IS UPPPP THHEEEERRRREE!? WAAAAAAA!

Steph: The Olympic crybaby is back!

Y2J: what like you when you lost at Survivor series, waaa, waaa daddy beat my ass! Waaa!

/Sound of screeching tires/

Shane: (singing off key) HERE COMES THE MOOOONNEEYYYY!

Rock: Oh God!

Shane: (bouncing round Y2J) Don't you bully my sister bimbo!

Y2J: RIIIIGGHHHT, I See you take losing well?

Shane: I see you take having your hair…. Red does you well?

Lita: Aint nothing wrong with redheads! Aint that right Matt?

Matt: Well-

Stacey: Ah, but blondes have more fun! Plus we are cute.

Trish: And sexy.

Stacey: And have nice asses.

Trish: And look good in anything!

Stacey: Or nothing!

Jericho: basically we rock!

The three of them: YEAH!

RVD: Cool.

Jeff: Kane? Are your balls red?

Kane: (Cocking head to one side)……… HUH?

Jeff: well, you're the big red machine and, seeing as though you always wear red, and have quite bad sunburn for a pale dude I was thinking.

Taker: I suggest you shut up now!

Matt: which takes us back to Christmas trees…

Stacey: Matt, dya prefer blondes or redheads?

(Lita and Stacey regard him expectantly)

Matt: Uhh, I like em both the same?

Lita: Bull crap!

DDP: That aint a-

Austin: I'm warning you shit head!

DDP: EEP!

Trish: Yeah Matt blondes are wayyy better!

Stacey: (Winking) We have A LOT of fun

Crazy blonde girl: (Runs in) Yeah, specially when it comes to you Matty, woo!

Kurt: Hey no one woos but me!

Rock: and that stupid Jabroni Ric Flair.

Girl: hey bud this is MY STORY! And if you don't like it I'll kick your ass all the way to new glouchenshire! Call me Matty!(runs off)

Kane: That was surreal.

RVD: Nah it was cool!

Matt: Okay I s'pose I like blondes a liiiitle better!

Stacey: Wahoo! Haha in your face Lita!

Matt: I didn't say I liked YOU better, I said I like blondes!

Stacey: Still…

Kurt: Uh back to Christmas trees people!

Taker: I know! Lets go into the woods and cut us a Christmas tree!

Jeff: But it's scary… and dark in the woods, aint you ever seen the Blair witch?

H.H: I've heard she's quite hospitable.

Perry: People use Christmas trees as dildos when reindeer sparkle like a moggle on a hot autumn day…

Edge: Does he just get weirder and weirder?

Christian: yup.

Edge: Don't talk to me!

Christian: oh PMT!

RVD: Oh PMT RVD wow how cool!

Trish: Freak!

Jeff: I agree, see how much we have in common Trish?

Trish: Erm, no not really.

Christian: well she's Canadian so she must be slow.

Edge: You're Canadian too dipshit!

Christian: Hah, I thought we weren't talking Edge!

Edge: Ohh fuck off!

Taker: C'mon lets go cut down some big ole trees!

*

/Big line of superstars making there way through a darkened forest surrounded by big Christmas trees, being led by Taker, Kurt is wandering at the back/

Christian: …So that explains why I am not really Canadian and am Europe.

H.H: I believe that is European Citizen Christian.

Matt: Dya know that I am the longest reigning American to be EUROPEAN champion ever?

Stacey: (dreamily, looking at Matt with awe) Wow that is so amazing, you are the greatest Matt.

Lita: Yuh huh he is, he is also mine, back off!

Matt: Lita I said we were gonna cool it.

Lita: Yeah but you said-

Matt: I'm gonna go talk to Edge.

Lita: But Matt- (watches as Matt walks off to the front with Stacey close behind)

Perry: (walks up to Lita) mushy peas look like boogers after the sun sets, you're welcome!

Kurt: (further behind, sees something red in a tree trunk) What the hell? AHH! IT'S AN ELF! ONE OF SANTA'S ITSELF WOW!

/Everyone turns round to see Kurt babbling at a tree trunk, shake their heads and walk on/

Kurt: WOW! A REAL ELF!

Elf: Moi name is Eggbert!

Kurt: Eggbert the Elf wow!!!! My god, I am in awe! Dya work for Santa can I have pressies!?

Eggbert: Oi do indeedy, you have been a good little boy haven't ya you wee tinker?

Kurt: an Irish elf, wow!

Eggbert: Oi'm in a spot o bother, moi boot is stuck, oi can't help Santa if I can't get free and I will miss Christmas at the igloo with the kids!

Kurt: of course I will help you Eggy me chum! Can I have pressies if I do?

Eggbert: surely you can me dearie!

/Kurt pulls on the trapped Irish elf and with a pop he's free!/

Eggbert: Thanks, Hahaha sucker! (with another pop he's vanished)

Kurt: Little bastard!

Rock: WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL ARE YOU DOING ALL THE WAY BACK HERE JABRONI THE OTHERS ARE CUTTING THE TREE DOWN NOW!

Kurt: well this little elf called Eggbert told me he was trapped and promised me pressies to free him, did I mention he was Irish then he-

Rock: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!!!! Hold on a second sparky, the Rock asked what on the blue hell you were doing not your life story, now let the Rock ask you ONE question… ARE YOU INSANE!?

Kurt: (sniffle) WAAAAAA

Rock: Oh I made the little Jabroni cry, c'mon nut job, the others are coming and you are crying over the Rock's bo- QUIT YOUR GODDAMN CRYIN ON THE ROCKS BOOTS JABRONI!

Kurt: I'm SORRY! BUT I'M, I'M TRAUMATISED FOR LIFE!

Y2J: You will be, why the hell are you all the way back here, Kane and Taker pulled down the tree already!

Kurt: JERICHO THIS IRISH ELF TRICKED MEEEE!

Y2J: Okay… I don't care.

Kurt: You'll get nothing but coal!

Austin: Beats the potato on a string I got when I was a kid, at least you can put coal on a fire!

Kane: EEK! (jumping onto Jeff)

Jeff: (squashed under Kane's weight) MMPH.

Trish: Much better.

Matt: I agree.

Stacey: (dreamily) Me too.

Lita: Oh get a hobby!

Stacey: (awe in eyes staring at Matt) I have, it's called Matt!

Blonde Girl: (smacking Stacey with a right hook) BACK OFF ME BOY TOY BIMBO!

Lita: At last!

Blonde Girl: (Smacks Lita too) You too ho! Love ya Matty. (Runs off)

Stacey: Ow, Matty kiss me better?

Lita: Oh for Gods sake!

Shane: I could kiss you better Lita?

Lita: Gimmie a break!

Y2J: Yeah Shane don't scare her, you and your sister putting yourselves out is too much for us!

Steph: One of these days I'm gonna…

Y2J: gonna what, bash me with your boobs?

Steph: They are surprisingly firm

Y2J: I don't doubt that!

Jeff: It's getting dark, can we get back please?

Rock: Has anyone got a match or lighter?

Kane: (Jumping on Austin) EEEP!

Austin: (muffled) WHAT!?

Rock: It's gonna be a long Christmas!

*

Okay it wasn't a very good chapter I don't think, but review please; as Kurt's milk senses aren't working I'll be able to rustle some up! More on the 20th!