Walking In a WWF Winter Wonderland
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Chapter 4- Rudolph the…cold reindeer
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Kurt: (Whining) I'm cold!
Rock: Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA! The whole reason we are lost in the goddamn woods is 'cos you and skittle freak over there couldn't cope without a roody poo tree!
Jeff: Trish, dya wanna snuggle for warmth?
Trish: Tell me you didn't just say that?!
B.T: Hey no ripping off the 5 time, 5 TIME WCW Champion sucka!
Y2J: Back to being a Champion sucka are we? Hey Steph you could take lessons from him!
Buh Buh Ray: If we had tables we could burn em!
D-Von: TESTIFY!
Kane: (Jumps on Buh Buh) EEEK!
Buh Buh: (muffled)STACEY! GET THE TABLES!
Stacey: No way, I'm the Duchess of Mattyville now!
Blonde girl: (popping in) HEY THAT JOB POSITION IS MINE BITCH! (Smack)
Lita: I worry…
B.G: (Smacks Lita too) SHUT UP FOR ONCE! (pops away)
Test (popping up) Hey baby, I'll kiss it better, or you Stacey!
Lita: EWW!
Stacey: Bigger EWW!
Lita: Bigger, bigger EEW!
Stacey: Biggest EEW HA!
Test: You little teases! (pops out)
H.H: Citizen Test appears to have special powers too! They must be fake as only Mighty Molly and I have super powers!
Trish: Maybe the powers of irritation!
Austin: WHAT!?
Trish: I said the powers of IRRITATION!
Austin: WHAT?!
Unseen Crowd: WHAT?!
Austin: WHAT?!
U.C: WHAT?!
Kurt: WHAT?
Jeff: WHAT?
Austin: WHAT?!
All: WHAT?!
Kurt: Shut up!
Austin: HEY! WHAT!? WHAT? WHAT?!?! SHUT UP! Ah, that's better!
All: HUH?
B.T: The 5 time WCW champion is cold!
Rock: We are alllll cold Jabroni!
Jeff: Kurt's fault!
Kurt: NOT!
Jeff: IS!
Kurt: NOT!
Jeff: IS!
Kurt: NOT!
Jeff: IS!
Kurt: NOT!
Jeff: IS!
Matt: Shut up or you will get no presents!
Kurt&Jeff: WAAAAA!
Steph: Of course you'll get pressies!
K&J: Phew!
Y2J: I WANNA GO HOME!
Kurt: Gimmie a sec!
/Kurt disappears behind a tree, mumbling, banging and sniffling noises are heard, superstars look scared/confused/
/Behind tree/
Kurt: /Pulling out various things from pockets, throwing them on the ground/ Now where'd I put it… Aha!
/Pulls out large sleigh about as big as a limo, presses a button and some reindeer pop out the front looking cold/
Kurt: Guys!
Rock: WHERE IN THE BLUE HELL DID YOU GET A SLEIGH!?
Perry: Reindeer eat wonderbras to keep the cold from their bottoms as cookies make good umbrellas in summer.
/Reindeer look scared/
Jeff: NOW LOOK! YOU SCARED THEM! (tears in eyes) How could you Perry?
Perry: You're welcome!
Jeff: I AM NOT!
Perry: IS!
Jeff: Am!
Perry: BAA!
Jeff: GRRR
Perry: Moo!
Jeff: WOOF!
Perry: EEEK!
Jeff: I sure told him!
Matt: Sure you did Jeff, sure!
Y2J: Keep taking the pills.
RVD: Yeah take some chill pills, they are cool, but everything's cool when you're RVD! (Doing hand movement)
Y2J: Don't you mean everything's cool when you're the undisputed Champion Y2J? (hand movements)
RVD: Yeah that's cool, but then every-
Austin: WHAT?!
RVD: I said every-
Austin: WHAT?!
U.C: WHAT?!
Kurt: SHUT UP!
RVD: (getting slightly peed) Every-
H.H: Citizen Austin, do you have a hearing impediment of some kind?
Austin: WHAT?! My watch is saying-
U.C: WHAT?!
Y2J: WOULD YOU PLEASE-
Rock: SHUT UP all of you, now the Rock wants some cookies and he wants em NOW (stamps foot)
Trish: Coming Rocky sweetie…
Rock:… EH?
Trish: Debra gave me some of her cookies…
Austin: WHAT?! AHHHHHH! Do you know what my watch is saying?
Matt: It's saying, shut up and can we get on the sleigh now?
Stacey: (whipping out NEW mistletoe) haha now's my chance! I got dibs next to Matty!
Lita: Do you never give up?!
Stacey: Not until I got me some mouth to mouth with Matt!
/Blonde Girl & Eggbert appear/
Eggbert: Oi'm the ghost of oirish Christmas
Kurt: THAT'S THE LITTLE BASTARD! SEE IM NOT INSANE!
Rock: This proves nothing Jabroni!
Kurt: I thought you were an elf?!
Eggbert: Erm… Oi am an elf, but oi need extra pay so Oi'm filling in.
B.G: I'm the ghost of Christmas present, (smacks Stacey again) WHAT HAVE I SAID!? BACK OFF MY BOY TOY BIMBO!
Stacey: She smudged my make up!
B.G: oh that's it, you are too annoying! (tackles Stacey off the sleigh and starts beating her with a tree branch)
Matt: I'm liking this girl more and more.
B.G: /sits up/ Oh really? You like that do ya? C'mere big boy! Raaa!
/doesn't bother with mistletoe leaps onto his lap and gets a liplock on Matt/
Eggbert: That's not a bad thing-
Austin: AHHH! MORE OF EM! /tries to hit Eggbert with tree, Eggbert dodges/
Eggbert: Fockin hell you nocking fotter! What got stuck up your chimneeey?
Austin: WHAT?!
B.T: Tell me he did not just say that?
B.G: (mumbling as tongue in Matt's mouth) Yuh huh he did!
Austin: WHAT?!
U.C: WHAT?
Eggbert: You'll get nothing but coal!
Kurt: Told you so!
Austin: WHAT?! (bawling) I WANT PRESSIES!
Kane: EEK! (jumps on Steph, bounces off boobs)
Kane:….OW!
Steph: (muffled) Okay, the world has gone insane.
Shane: you've only just realized that?!
Steph: Yeah!
Kurt: But I'm a good boy, so I get pressies riiiiight?
Eggbert: Erm…. SURE, whatever Kurt!
Kurt: YAY!!!! (singing) Jimmy crack corn and I don't carrrreee, I'm gonna get some pressies!
Jeff: (tears) Will I Mr. Eggbert?
Eggbert: have you been a good boy ya wee tinker?
Jeff: THE BEST EVVVVER!
Eggbert: Alrighty then!
B.G: Just for the record, Matt's been a REEEEAAALLLY GOOD BOY!
Lita: Matt…
Stacey: Nothing works, he is more of a tease than anyone!
Eggbert: Oi think that's moi que. to leave! C'mon Blondey!
Y2J: Huh? I thought you were talkin to me sorry!
Steph: we allll know it's fake Jericho!
Y2J: Well you'd know best then wouldn't ya slut?
Steph:… Yuh huh I would!
B.G: Aww… (tears) But, I don't wanna!
/Eggbert grabs her arm/
Eggbert: Tough titties! (pops away)
Matt: I want her for Christmas!
Lita:…. Matt, this is the last straw… WE'RE OVER!
Matt: Lita! I know, I keep telling you that. We have been for the past week!
Lita:….OH! Well…Fine! I didn't want you anyway!
Stacey: OH! I do, I do!
Matt: Well…tough really.
Rock: Trish… the Rock smells how good your cookin' is!
Trish: I was kidding, they are DEBRA'S cookies member?
Rock:….Well, I smell how good you are COOKIN'( raises eyebrow) EH?
Austin: WHAT?!
Matt: Oh please! Don't go into this again!
Kurt: My reindeer are getting cold, can we go now!
H.H: you know, mighty molly and I could have resolved this situation at any time and flown you back to the mansion with our Hurri-powers!
Rock: Sure Hurri-twat, sure!
Jeff: Don't swear like that at the Hurricane, Santa likes superheroes, you'll go on his bad list!
Rock: Oh boo hoo, The Rock is on Trish's good list so that's all that matters!
/Everyone jumps onto the sleigh/
Kurt: away, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Blitzen, Rudolph, erm… and you others! GO!
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