Walking In a WWF Winter Wonderland

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Chapter 4- Rudolph the…cold reindeer

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Kurt: (Whining) I'm cold!

Rock: Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA! The whole reason we are lost in the goddamn woods is 'cos you and skittle freak over there couldn't cope without a roody poo tree!

Jeff: Trish, dya wanna snuggle for warmth?

Trish: Tell me you didn't just say that?!

B.T: Hey no ripping off the 5 time, 5 TIME WCW Champion sucka!

Y2J: Back to being a Champion sucka are we? Hey Steph you could take lessons from him!

Buh Buh Ray: If we had tables we could burn em!

D-Von: TESTIFY!

Kane: (Jumps on Buh Buh) EEEK!

Buh Buh: (muffled)STACEY! GET THE TABLES!

Stacey: No way, I'm the Duchess of Mattyville now!

Blonde girl: (popping in) HEY THAT JOB POSITION IS MINE BITCH! (Smack)

Lita: I worry…

B.G: (Smacks Lita too) SHUT UP FOR ONCE! (pops away)

Test (popping up) Hey baby, I'll kiss it better, or you Stacey!

Lita: EWW!

Stacey: Bigger EWW!

Lita: Bigger, bigger EEW!

Stacey: Biggest EEW HA!

Test: You little teases! (pops out)

H.H: Citizen Test appears to have special powers too! They must be fake as only Mighty Molly and I have super powers!

Trish: Maybe the powers of irritation!

Austin: WHAT!?

Trish: I said the powers of IRRITATION!

Austin: WHAT?!

Unseen Crowd: WHAT?!

Austin: WHAT?!

U.C: WHAT?!

Kurt: WHAT?

Jeff: WHAT?

Austin: WHAT?!

All: WHAT?!

Kurt: Shut up!

Austin: HEY! WHAT!? WHAT? WHAT?!?! SHUT UP! Ah, that's better!

All: HUH?

B.T: The 5 time WCW champion is cold!

Rock: We are alllll cold Jabroni!

Jeff: Kurt's fault!

Kurt: NOT!

Jeff: IS!

Kurt: NOT!

Jeff: IS!

 Kurt: NOT!

Jeff: IS!

 Kurt: NOT!

Jeff: IS!

Matt: Shut up or you will get no presents!

Kurt&Jeff: WAAAAA!

Steph: Of course you'll get pressies!

K&J: Phew!

Y2J: I WANNA GO HOME!

Kurt: Gimmie a sec!

/Kurt disappears behind a tree, mumbling, banging and sniffling noises are heard, superstars look scared/confused/

/Behind tree/

Kurt: /Pulling out various things from pockets, throwing them on the ground/ Now where'd I put it… Aha!

/Pulls out large sleigh about as big as a limo, presses a button and some reindeer pop out the front looking cold/

Kurt: Guys!

Rock: WHERE IN THE BLUE HELL DID YOU GET A SLEIGH!?

Perry: Reindeer eat wonderbras to keep the cold from their bottoms as cookies make good umbrellas in summer.

/Reindeer look scared/

Jeff: NOW LOOK! YOU SCARED THEM! (tears in eyes) How could you Perry?

Perry: You're welcome!

Jeff: I AM NOT!

Perry: IS!

Jeff: Am!

Perry: BAA!

Jeff: GRRR

Perry: Moo!

Jeff: WOOF!

Perry: EEEK!

Jeff: I sure told him!

Matt: Sure you did Jeff, sure!

Y2J: Keep taking the pills.

RVD: Yeah take some chill pills, they are cool, but everything's cool when you're RVD! (Doing hand movement)

Y2J: Don't you mean everything's cool when you're the undisputed Champion Y2J? (hand movements)

RVD: Yeah that's cool, but then every-

Austin: WHAT?!

RVD: I said every-

Austin: WHAT?!

U.C: WHAT?!

Kurt: SHUT UP!

RVD: (getting slightly peed) Every-

H.H: Citizen Austin, do you have a hearing impediment of some kind?

Austin: WHAT?! My watch is saying-

U.C: WHAT?!

Y2J: WOULD YOU PLEASE-

Rock: SHUT UP all of you, now the Rock wants some cookies and he wants em NOW (stamps foot)

Trish: Coming Rocky sweetie…

Rock:… EH?

Trish: Debra gave me some of her cookies…

Austin: WHAT?! AHHHHHH! Do you know what my watch is saying?

Matt: It's saying, shut up and can we get on the sleigh now?

Stacey: (whipping out NEW mistletoe) haha now's my chance! I got dibs next to Matty!

Lita: Do you never give up?!

Stacey: Not until I got me some mouth to mouth with Matt!

/Blonde Girl & Eggbert appear/

Eggbert: Oi'm the ghost of oirish Christmas

Kurt: THAT'S THE LITTLE BASTARD! SEE IM NOT INSANE!

Rock: This proves nothing Jabroni!

Kurt: I thought you were an elf?!

Eggbert: Erm… Oi am an elf, but oi need extra pay so Oi'm filling in.

B.G: I'm the ghost of Christmas present, (smacks Stacey again) WHAT HAVE I SAID!? BACK OFF MY BOY TOY BIMBO!

Stacey: She smudged my make up!

B.G: oh that's it, you are too annoying! (tackles Stacey off the sleigh and starts beating her with a tree branch)

Matt: I'm liking this girl more and more.

B.G: /sits up/ Oh really? You like that do ya? C'mere big boy! Raaa! 

/doesn't bother with mistletoe leaps onto his lap and gets a liplock on Matt/

Eggbert: That's not a bad thing-

Austin: AHHH! MORE OF EM! /tries to hit Eggbert with tree, Eggbert dodges/

Eggbert: Fockin hell you nocking fotter! What got stuck up your chimneeey?

Austin: WHAT?!

B.T: Tell me he did not just say that?

B.G: (mumbling as tongue in Matt's mouth) Yuh huh he did!

Austin: WHAT?!

U.C: WHAT?

Eggbert: You'll get nothing but coal!

Kurt: Told you so!

Austin: WHAT?! (bawling) I WANT PRESSIES!

Kane: EEK! (jumps on Steph, bounces off boobs)

Kane:….OW!

Steph: (muffled) Okay, the world has gone insane.

Shane: you've only just realized that?!

Steph: Yeah!

Kurt: But I'm a good boy, so I get pressies riiiiight?

Eggbert: Erm…. SURE, whatever Kurt!

Kurt: YAY!!!! (singing) Jimmy crack corn and I don't carrrreee, I'm gonna get some pressies!

Jeff: (tears) Will I Mr. Eggbert?

Eggbert: have you been a good boy ya wee tinker?

Jeff: THE BEST EVVVVER!

Eggbert: Alrighty then!

B.G: Just for the record, Matt's been a REEEEAAALLLY GOOD BOY!

Lita: Matt…

Stacey: Nothing works, he is more of a tease than anyone!

Eggbert: Oi think that's moi que. to leave! C'mon Blondey!

Y2J: Huh? I thought you were talkin to me sorry!

Steph: we allll know it's fake Jericho!

Y2J: Well you'd know best then wouldn't ya slut?

Steph:… Yuh huh I would!

B.G: Aww… (tears) But, I don't wanna!

/Eggbert grabs her arm/

Eggbert: Tough titties! (pops away)

Matt: I want her for Christmas!

Lita:…. Matt, this is the last straw… WE'RE OVER!

Matt: Lita! I know, I keep telling you that. We have been for the past week!

Lita:….OH! Well…Fine! I didn't want you anyway!

Stacey: OH! I do, I do!

Matt: Well…tough really.

Rock: Trish… the Rock smells how good your cookin' is!

Trish: I was kidding, they are DEBRA'S cookies member?

Rock:….Well, I smell how good you are COOKIN'( raises eyebrow) EH?

Austin: WHAT?!

Matt: Oh please! Don't go into this again!

Kurt: My reindeer are getting cold, can we go now!

H.H: you know, mighty molly and I could have resolved this situation at any time and flown you back to the mansion with our Hurri-powers!

Rock: Sure Hurri-twat, sure!

Jeff: Don't swear like that at the Hurricane, Santa likes superheroes, you'll go on his bad list!

Rock: Oh boo hoo, The Rock is on Trish's good list so that's all that matters!

/Everyone jumps onto the sleigh/

Kurt: away, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Blitzen, Rudolph, erm… and you others! GO!

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