Walking in a WWF Winter Wonderland
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Chapter 5- Tis the season
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/All back at home, regarding the newly decorated tree, only lacking a star/angel on top, Kurt sitting cross legged in front awe in his eyes/
Kurt: It's, Its sooo BEAUTIFUL!
Jeff: Wow! Lemmie put the angel on top!
Kurt: NO! we are having a star on top, a star like me-
DDP: DDP!? And that's not-
Austin: Man, you have a death wish! /Grabs a piece of log from the fire, juggles it a little and shoves it right up the chimney/
DDP: AHHH!
Jeff: That's not a bad thing!
Matt: That's a very GOOD THING!
Austin: don't you lil mealy mouthed sonbitches start!
RVD: It's all cool!
Kurt: /grabs the star and runs towards the tree /haha! No-one will stop me!
Taker: /sticks foot out, trips Kurt up/ I don't think you are respecting my tree boy!
Kurt: YOUR TREE? HUH?!
/ Taker grabs Kurt round the neck, picks him up, goes over to the coffee table and last rides him through the table/
Taker: YOU WILL RESPECT ME AND MY TREE ALL OF YERS!
Jeff: /Scuttles away holding head/ Okay… you don't have to put the angel at the top of the tree…
Taker: MY TREE!
Kane: Technically it's our tree as we BOTH pulled it down bro!
Taker: I don't think you respect me either! / pushes Kane near the fire/
Kane: /Girly shriek, runs outside/ AHHHHH!
Taker: I got a better idea /grabs Jeff, picks him up, and throws him to the top of the gigantic tree/
Jeff: It's tall up here! Someone is a really bad cleaner look at all the cobwebs…
Taker: Good, now I'm goin to bed, no-one disturb the Christmas fairy up there!
RVD: How cool?
/Taker glares at him but lets it go and wanders upstairs/
RVD: Wow, that was close, or as some might say… COOL!
/All look confused at him/
Jeff: oh well, it's Christmas eve, Santa will be here soon and I for one wanted to stay up to meet the good ole St. Nick, so I'll just stay up a little higher than usual!
Matt: You really have a death wish sometimes Jeff!
Steph: Yes and HELLO SANTA ISN'T-
H.H: Citizen Steph, refrain from speaking of the one known as Chris Cringle, especially as the deluded are nigh in the room.
Steph: HUH?
Shane: Hurricane do you even know what you just said?
M.M: Don't disagree with the mighty Hurricane, he is mightier than thou, or even me (strikes dramatic pose) Mighty Molly!
Y2J: Just marry the jerk!
Perry: mild mannered reporters are secret identities for superheroes!
H.H: Erm, look over there everyone
/Hurricane points, everyone looks, Hurricane judo chops Perry in the back of the head, Perry falls over/
Austin: WHAT? I don't see nothing?
Jeff: Hurricane knocked poor Perry out!
H.H: Don't be a tell tale Citizen Jeff, or you will get nothing but coal!
Jeff:…
Rock: what in the blue hell is going on here? It's Christmas eve, already two people are knocked out, one freak is up a tree, another is outside… and the Mighty Molly is obviously in love with the Hurricane! Where is the goodwill?
B.T: He didn't say that say that?! Tell me he did not just say that!?
Y2J: RANDOM!
Edge: Is that like the ONLY thing you can say? 'cos that reeks of sucktitude!
Christian: Don't use our old E&Cisms dude that is like… a reekasaurus rex!
Edge: What?!
Austin: HEY!
Matt: Please can we NOT go there!
Jeff: Dudes! You are reminiscing, 'tis the season of goodwill to all men… why don't you think about the old days and be jolly, just for one night?
/Edge and Christian go all misty eyed and link arms and run off into the corner/
Jeff: AH! The magic of Christmas.
Matt: Jeff what are you babbling on about?
Kurt: /suddenly waking up/ MILK!? Ah! Have I missed Santa,
Jeff: Not quite yet Kurt! Don't worry the night is young, we will meet him!
Matt: you guys are sad! I'm going to bed.
Austin: Me WHAT me too, I want beer for Christmas!
Stacey: (quietly) I want Matt.
Lita: WHAT?
Austin: Wh-
Debra: C'mon dear come to bed.
Austin: alright! No one touch my stocking!
Jeff: Now has everyone put their stockings up? Cos no Santa if no stockings!
All: Yes Jeff.
Kurt: alright of to beddy then you wee tinkers!
Jeff: Kurt I believe you are talking like that wee Irish elf!
DDP: That aint a bad thing, that's a good thing- hey I'm not dead!
Jeff: 'Tis the season of goodwill to all men, you are fine here!
/Everyone makes their way upstairs apart from Kurt, Jeff, E&C in the corner Stacey, Steph, Y2J, Perry and DDP of course/
Y2J: Why the hell are you still up SLUT shouldn't you be getting some much needed beauty sleep?
Steph: No I am gonna drink myself into a stupor with eggnog, as is my tradition at Christmas as it is such an awful time of year.
Kurt: Steph! Don't talk like that! Christmas is wonderful! It is the time of goodwill and joy, mistletoe and wine!
Jeff: And cheesy television broadcasts that can only be got away with at Christmas time!
Steph: nah I'll stick with my traditions!
Y2J: Whatever just quit hogging the eggnog!
Kurt: Tis almost 12 o clock Jeff, a magical time approaches!
Jeff: Almost!
Kurt: Stacey what have you asked Santa for this year?
Stacey: Matt… but I wouldn't mind money for some Gucci or Prada!
Steph: I want love, just a different kind-
Y2J: Please don't sing, I'm not quite drunk enough yet!
Kurt: and Jericho has his championships!
Y2J: indeed!
Jeff: don't rip off Funaki!
Y2J: I can do what I want for I am THE UNDISPUTED CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!
Steph: Oh jeeze!
Jeff: It'd take a miracle for these two to get along now!
Kurt: But Christmas is the time for miracles Jeff (giggles)
Santa: HO, HO, HO! You are right my boys!
/Jeff and Kurt spin round to see Santa by the fire, a sack at his feet, all the stockings full/
Kurt: OH MY GOD! SANTA!
Y2J: See slut he's addressing you by your given name, HO, HO, HOOOO!
Steph: (slurred) Argh, you better not shout or cry, blondey, cos Santa is here and he can see the highlights! You mustn't argue or someone will let out that its just a sock rolled up down your pants!
Y2J: HUH? Shut up slut you're drunker than Hunter on a good day!
/All of them glare at Y2J/
Y2J: What too soon?
All:….
Jeff: How'd you get down the chimney?
Santa: Oh that'd be tellin' wouldn't it moi wee tinkers?
Kurt: Wait one collar picking second! I recognize that accent and that cheeky expression!
Jeff: EGGBERT?
Santa: That oi be mateys how are yers?
Kurt: I thought you were an elf?
Jeff: I thought you were the ghost of Oirish Christmas?
Santa: Ah well oi got a promotion!
Y2J: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU GUYS AND PROMOTIONS IN THE NORTH POLE?
Steph: (Slurring) Don't knock it till you've tried it!
Santa: You two need some goodwill and Christmas cheer! /gets out some elf dust and throws it over them/
Steph: Jericho I suddenly find you very sexy!
Y2J: Enough talk! Get over here slut!
/Massive liplock and they roll all over the table/
Jeff: There goes the last carton of eggnog!
Kurt: well they certainly aint noticed!
Santa: All roight I tell a loi, Santa is just a bit ill. Nasty bit of the flu goin round! Oi'm filling in! But oi think that what came to pass and what will come to pass is better forgotten, so when this noight is done, you wont remember a thing! So oi suggest you boink loik bunnies that's what oi'd do! Marry Christmas! Ho, Ho, HOOOO! /pops away/
Kurt: WOW!
Jeff: poor Stacey she's conked out on the table and she never got what she wanted, plus I doubt Santa is made of money!
Kurt: The night aint out yet and will someone please cover those two up! MY GOD IM BLIND! Wait, no I'm not!
/Creak on the stair, Matt comes downstairs sleepwalking, grabs Stacey and kisses her, Stacey wakes up, eyes nearly pop out of her head, Matt lets go, wanders back upstairs/
Stacey: WHOA!
Jeff: Isn't Eggbert nice?
Kurt: Not if Lita finds out, OW!
Jeff: Well tonight certainly is special, I think quite a few miracles have come to pass!
Kurt: Yup and we wont remember any of it.
/two sit in silence for a moment/
Both: DAMN!
TBC?
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