And then everything was still

See usual disclaimers.

Milady's Eyes

By Adia

Chapter 4: Awakening

And then everything was still.

Save for the tinkling of glass hanging precariously from the shattered window, and the wind whistling through the gaping hole, the hall was devoid of sound.

Time had stopped.

Hair entangled and body riddled with wounds and bruises, Lily existed between the light and the dark, mind swimming in the surreal sensations of both pain and no feeling, unaware of anything but her immediate state of agony. She tried to lift her head, only to feel it pressed back down again by the weight of the pounding in her brain.

There was nothing.

Her thoughts devolved from words to currents racing through her body, trying hopelessly to calm the pulsing of her nerves. Names and ideas were only lost in the chaos. In some seconds, a syllable would emerge from the throng, only to disappear again in a wave of heat and electricity.

There was nothing, and there was everything, disassembled into molecular madness.

After what seemed like ages swimming in a primordial soup of thought, Lily's mind lifted itself from its haze long enough to hear footsteps racing down the hall, the thunder pounding into her forehead.

"What on earth…?"

"She could have been here for hours! Is she still warm?"

Hours…hours…warm…very warm…hot…I'm hot…I'm hot…

Lily felt a cool pair of hands in her forehead.

"Yes, Poppy, very much so. Nevertheless, I fear she may be awhile in the ward."

"How in heaven's name did this happen?"

"It's that fool tree, that's what happened! It'll cost us more lives then it's going to save by the time it's had its say!"

Tree…cost…life…save…life…save…me…

"Poppy, you know perfectly well that the willow is a sound investment. The children just need to understand that it's not a plaything."

Lily felt herself being turned over.

"Sound investment?!? A sound investment in emptying beds, I'd say!"

Sound beds…save life…save me…

"My dear Poppy, there's no need to get excited. I'm sure after a few days of bed rest, she'll be back on her feet. Now then, Minerva, would you mind helping me take her up the hospital wing? This corridor is dreadfully cold."

Save me…save me…so hot…

"Of course."

Lily felt herself being lifted off the ground, her body suddenly weightless and being above the floor by an invisible force.

She felt another pair of hands grasp her shoulders, and her form began to move down the corridor.

Someone brushed her curls from her face.

"Lily Evans…" A voice whispered.

Lily…Lily…

I am Lily…

"Oh Goodness, Albus, you don't think…?

"No, Poppy. I don't."

"But why…?"

"He wouldn't have hurtled her through a window. He would have killed her."

Window…? Window…

Killed who…? Killed me…Who…killed me…?

It was silent for a few moments.

"But maybe he tried…?"

Tried to kill…tried to kill me…

"She isn't dead, Poppy."

…He…?

Someone swallowed hard. Lily strained herself to hear what they were saying.

"It was only the willow, Poppy, we mustn't jump to foolish conclusions just yet, it will be the death of us."

Death…Dead…He killed me…he killed me…I must be dead.

No…no…that one…that one just said you aren't…aren't dead…

Lily not dead…

Suddenly, Lily felt herself come to a halt.

"Foolish? Foolish? Am I being foolish, Minerva? Are my fears not warranted? Albus, you said so yourself that before long we won't be able to shelter them from him anymore! Are we going to wait to worry until that time comes?"

The words rang through the vacuum of darkness and echoed off the walls and floor and ceiling. Lily silently groaned with the reverberation in her brain and gave a slight shudder. Her head hurt from the concentration on their words. She didn't understand what was happening or whom they were so afraid of.

Lily not dead…tree killed window…killed me…killed me…

No…you're not dead…you're not dead. He said so…said so…

But Dumbledore didn't respond. Instead, Lily heard him mutter a phrase, and in a burst of light, the world dissolved away…

Some time later, in the hazy softness of a hospital bed, Lily awoke.

Slowly, at first, keeping her eyes shut, though the blackness in the room kept her blinded to her surroundings. The pain in her head had dulled itself into a tingling numbness, and as the feeling returned to her fingers; she could feel the cool sheets beneath them.

…I'm alive…

As the world began to slowly piece itself together, her mind swam with everything that had transpired in the last few hours, trying to make sense of all the words inside her head.

However, the chaos in her brain began to sort itself out and vaguely returned to the conversation in the corridor.

Something's wrong…He…He… Dumbledore… said it himself, something is wrong.

Her heart skipped a few beats.

The security of their way of life had always been reassured by their smiling headmaster, and although he appeared to be non-plussed by the alarming situation Madam Pomfrey had referred to, Lily knew that voice.

The voice that knew too much fear to let any of it escape from his throat.

Lily shuddered. If Dumbledore couldn't protect them from whatever was threatening their lives…she feared the worst.

Lily suddenly felt very alone in the world.

She opened her eyes, mind suffocating from the lack of stimulus. She peered around; her eyes adjusting to the semi-darkness and vaguely wondered where she…was.

Oh, she thought, that

That…tree…that tree tried to kill me…

Although somewhat alarmed by the unnamed impending danger, her mind suddenly switched back to the problem at hand. A prefect was lying in the hospital wing after being hurtled through a Hogwarts window by the whomping willow. There was little she could concoct to excuse herself from this.

To make matters worse, there was no Sirius on hand to take the brunt of the punishment.

Lily cursed under her breath, partially for the pickle she had found herself in, but also because she had become so spoiled by his being her scapegoat.

I told them; she thought bitterly, I knew… this would happen. Now it's… all ruined. In a few minutes… everything…everything I've wanted to be is all ruined.

For a few moments, Lily forgot about the pain in her body and commiserated in her own misfortune. She was most defiantly caught, for something she hadn't planned, nor enjoyed, nor even reaped the benefits of, and there was no one here to save her.

Might as well… had just gone along with them, she thought, at least I wouldn't have made them so…hurt…

Oh… lord.

Lily's mind flashed back to a pair of deep, dark eyes, staring back at hers like they had been fatally wounded. In the back of her mind, Lily wondered why her qualms with the adventure had had such an impact of James especially, but the only thing she could think of now was the sinking feeling that she may have lost of couple of friends. In a way.

Lily tried to suck back the tears that were forming in her eyes. She had her chance. Sirius handed it to her on a silver platter, but her good sense had stomped all over it. She knew that it wasn't going to come back, and although a friendship was James Potter was the least of her worries at the moment, Lily couldn't help but feel sick with disappointment.

However, her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of the ward doors unlocking and opening, and Madam Pomfrey appearing at her bedside with the mannerisms of a mother hen.

"Oh, thank goodness! There's already some color back in your face! Here, take this."

Madam Pomfrey offered her a goblet of some foul smelling liquid, and Lily took it, sipping it reluctantly.

"Now, you be sure to drink it all! I know, it's terrible, but it'll be good for what ails you, which, I'm sure, is everything at this moment…how is your leg feeling?"

Lily noticed that the pain in her legs had dulled significantly. Rather, it had sort of dissipated throughout the rest of her body, giving it a sort of dull, bruised feeling.

Madam Pomfrey bustled about the room, gathering various vials and medical paraphernalia, and depositing them on the table next to Lily's bedside.

"Goodness, I'm running low on supplies. Thank goodness you aren't more hurt then this, I'm not sure I would have been able to fix you. Are you finished with that?"

Lily relinquished the empty goblet.

"Not exactly tasty, I understand, but it's good for what ails you. Now, dear, you just get some rest-"

But she was interrupted by the creaking sounds of the door opening. Lily felt a lump in her throat as Professor Dumbledore entered the ward. His twinkling blue eyes were surprisingly stoic. He looked tired, with hollowed shadows on his face, still in his dressing robes and nightcap.

"Poppy, would you mind excusing us for a moment?"

Madam Pomfrey looked indignant. "Headmaster, this girl needs her rest, you know potions alone wont-"

"I'm sure a few moments lost sleep will do her no more harm, Poppy." Dumbledore interjected.

Madam Pomfrey appeared to be very put off by this suggestion. However, she left in room, shutting the office door behind her in a bit of a huff.

And then they were alone.

Eyes downcast, Lily mindlessly started searching her bed sheets, offhandedly wishing it were possible or legal to apparate from within Hogwarts.

Dumbledore approached her bedside.

"How are you feeling?" He said quietly.

"Better," she said.

Dumbledore seemed to consider this for a moment. "For the record, I do agree with the fact that you do need your rest, and I'm certainly willing to grant you that…but…"

He trailed off for a moment, but then leaned in towards her, steel blue eyes locked on hers.

"Would you care to share how exactly you ended up in this position?"

A/N: Hey guys. I really do apologize about the relative brevity (and low quality, I might add) of this chapter. But this was a very busy week, and the fact that you even have this version of chapter four is pretty amazing. Seriously. Longer chapter next week, I promise. J Thanks very much to those who continue to review, namely Trinity Day, psycheme, and BridgetS, please continue to do so, it keeps me happy and chapters from not being crappy. And, for those of you who came for a Lily and James fic, and are wondering what weird direction I happen to be going in, hang tight. ;) I am a firm believer that there is more to an L/J fic then just ripping off clothes with you teeth. It will all make sense, eventually. ETA on chapter 5 is Friday, Oct 5th.