Retreat into Hell
By Sarah-chan
Part 1B

Note: I have a couple "dirty" jokes in here... Nobody will be out
of character during that time, though! So you'll identify with at
least one of the characters.

But if you're so offended by it that would send me nasty e-mails,
please read no further. I like to argue, and I'm trying to break
the habit.

I am not one to OVER do it though (unlike ten year old boys), so I
promise you it'll be at a minimum... this is a PG-13 rated fic,
though, so it will get a bit... riskay. MUAHAHA!!

Ah yes. And I apologize for the mild profanity... but you should
know Usagi herself has said "Damn!" in the anime! She has! I swear
it! At least that was what the subtitles said!

Enjoy!

* * * * * *

"She's not here," murmured a voice through the swell of
noise. All sound seemed to leave their ears as the other two honed
in on those words, her face drifting into their vision, blurring
away with unwilling tears.

"We'll find her..."

"... We promised..."

"... We'll search for eternity..."

"... I swear it."

"Not HER, you idiots."

"Oh, you meant Aino-kun, didn't you?"

"We have five minutes before the train leaves."

Taiki looked around the train station for any sign of yellow
hair, checked the time, looked at Seiya and shook his head.

"She has the tickets!" wailed the black haired bishounen,
causing passerby to watch curiously as Taiki patted him on the
head. Yaten rolled his eyes, and tried to look above the crowd.

He wasn't happy about this. Not happy at all. In fact,
he was aggravated to the point of being angry. Wait. NOW he was
angry. How dare that girl stand up Yaten Kou!

*What am I thinking?* He winced. *Bad Yaten. Your
vocabulary is large enough to refrain from using words so
phenomenally frequent they are put into context in which a female
does not enter the proximity of a man who she had earlier made an
agreement to meet.*

*What am I thinking?* He winced again. *I am NOT a Taiki.
How dare that girl stand up Yaten Kou!*

"Maybe we SHOULD have picked her up," said Seiya.

"Maybe we should have actually been FAST enough to grab
those tickets before she ran away. Hmph. And we're supposed to be
all powerful."

"She was slippery!"

"I do NOT want to hear about that," cried Yaten and plugged
his ears. "Too late! It's already in my mind."

Seiya and Taiki looked at him a moment before paling, then
gagging. "Oh thanks, Yaten. Really. Now I'll be haunted by that
image for the rest of my life."

"Egads, will you just be quiet?! I don't want to be
afflicted with such a picture!"

"Therapy image! Therapy image!" called Seiya.

"Hey, you guys!" a voice called out, popping the serene
bubble they had created. The noise returned.

She was racing down the walkway, shoving people younger
than her out of her way, politely squeezing through the spaces
between those older than her, and bowing and apologizing when she
got in front of the elderly, all the while sloughing a large and
heavy suitcase behind her.

"You have to admit, though," said Seiya as they watched her
move towards them. "She does have charisma."

"But no charm," answered Yaten.

"I'd like to know the name of the bottle of vodka she used on
our manager," Taiki said. "It could be useful in the future."

"IF we're here that long," said Yaten.

"Right, right," Seiya assured, and watched as Minako finally
got past the crowd (defense 1 down) smiled sweetly, and headed
towards them. The Three Lights cringed as a young man pummeled into
her, sending them both crashing to the ground, and popping the
suit case open, sending all loose contents flying into the area.

"Ouch," said Yaten.

"That has to be embarrassing," answered Taiki.

"What's embarrassing is being around you two," said Seiya,
and began to walk to the fallen Minako, only to find she was doing
just fine.

"I-I'm sorry!" cried the man, and both he and Minako
scrambled to gather the articles before impolite feet stormed over
them. Finally, clothes gathered in arms, both of them dumped the
contents back into the suitcase, and took a breath.

When she got a look at him, though, he took her breath away.
He was gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. She shook her head slightly,
trying to get the pounding of her heart out of her ears.

Long raven black hair tied back in a braid, intense eyes,
and a sculpted body that just ached to be touched.

"Really," he said, and helped her to stand. They both
reached down, and her fingers covered his as they brought the
suitcase from the ground. "I AM sorry."

"That's all right." She smiled slightly, and fluttered her
eyelashes. *Innocent!* her mind cried happily as his cheeks glowed
a pretty shade of pink.

"What's going on?" a feminine voice asked. Both turned to
stare at a young woman, short hair, not as black as the young man's,
but definitely a color you could gaze out for hours on end. She
rose a delicate eyebrow, and crossed arms, sleek muscles rippling
with barely controlled anger.

"N-nuthin'!" he stammered, and stepped away from Minako.

*Innocent...* Minako thought, her excitement disappearing
with a poof of ill-luck. *... and taken.*

"Do you two know each other?" the girl asked.

"What are you talkin' about?" he said. "Of course not!"

"Never seen him before in my life," Minako reassured.

"I know what you're thinkin'!" he cried. "She's not another
one, I swear it."

"Really?" she said. The two women sized each other up for
a moment. "I can believe it. She doesn't look conniving enough to
be another fiancee."

"Don't be too sure about that," said Seiya as he slipped in
next to Minako. He took her suitcase from her. "Yaten and Taiki
are inside the train already, getting seats. We'd better go."

If it had been another time, Minako would have latched onto
to her favorite Light, and he would have whisked her away into the
train. Now, though... nuh-uh. This was way too good to leave
alone.

"ANOTHER?" asked Minako, and looked at them. "You're so
young to be engaged to even one!"

"Yeah, well," said the boy. "It's not like I WANT to get
married to her."

"I sure as hell don't want to marry HIM."

"She's way too uncute to be a wife--"

"How dare you--"

"Awe come on! You're the worst cook that ever existed!"

"I am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

Her sweet face darkened. "Why you... you..."

"Me what?" he taunted, and stuck out his tongue. "Run out
of smart remarks already, 'am not' girl?"

"Look who's talking!"

*Innocent, taken, and immature.*

Seiya and Minako just watched. The whistle for the train
blew suddenly, but the engaged couple didn't hear over their
screams.

"You know what you are?!" the girl cried.

"No. What am I?" he shot back.

"Um..." said Minako.

"Uh..." said Seiya. "I think the train's about to leave..."

"A womanizing... no good... rotten... lousy... lousy..."

"Lousy what?"

"A lousy--"

"ARE YOU GUYS COMING OR NOT?!" screamed Yaten from the
train, Taiki standing next to the silver haired boy.

"Bye!" chirped Minako, and raced after Seiya, flying through
the doors as they began to close. Minako slid in to the seat next
to Yaten, Seiya already shoving the shortest Light out of the way
to sit next to Taiki. He could be generous... up to a point.

"Oh no!" cried the girl, and the couple ran into the same
car. The doors closed a split second after the girl was safely
inside, but she fell into him as the train lurched into motion.

His arms wrapped around her as he started to lose his
balance, and as they crashed onto the floor, he made sure he had
taken the impact.

They laid there for a moment, staring at each other,
swimming in each others eyes, before they realized what kind of
situation they were in. Blushing, they got to their feet, and sat,
facing across from each other by the window across from the Lights
and Minako.

*Innocent, taken, immature... and hopelessly in love.*

Meanwhile, outside of the train, Nezu had flung her ice
cream cone into an unsuspecting crowd, and chased after the bullet
train, cursing as it sped out of her sight.

This assignment would prove far more difficult than she had
first thought.

* * * * * *

"I can't believe it!" cried Usagi, squeezing Artemis into
oblivion. "She left without us!"

"I thought she was my friend!" sobbed Makoto. "She could
have brought me along! She could have had Seiya, and I could have
taken Taiki--"

"Absolutely not!" cried Ami.

"--And we could have shared Yaten--"

"Please," said Haruka, and held her head in her hands.
"You're giving me a headache."

"I DO admit, this is very strange," said Michiru. "But what
I find odd is the fact she actually pulled it off."

"Definitely!" agreed Ami. "She usually blows her cover
after the first five minutes of thinking up an idea."

"And you!" Makoto jabbed a finger in Haruka's direction.
"Both of you! You saw everything! What were you doing up on the
roof anyway?"

Haruka began to cough, and Michiru averted her gaze.

"Wait, wait. I don't want to know."

"Look," said Haruka. "We already told you we tried to catch
her before she reached the station."

"She was slippery," said Michiru.

"AAAAAAAH!" cried the inner senshi and covered their ears.

"Therapy image! Therapy image!" called Usagi.

"Children," muttered Haruka.

"I say we discuss what her leaving means to the Sailor
Senshi as a defense for Earth," said Setsuna. Everybody quieted
down, nodding in agreement.

"The thing with Minako-san," she continued. "Is she has a
way of inadvertently meeting trouble wherever she goes."

Michiru nodded. "I agree with this. Our theory is she'll
meet a Sailor Animate wherever she's going to. The only problem
is Sailor Moon is the only one able to bring the enemy back to
their original form."

"But what if there's an attack in Tokyo?" asked Usagi,
letting go of her hold on Artemis enough for him to turn back from
blue to white.

"That's what we can't decide on. My suggestion is we keep
Usagi in Tokyo for now, and the Outer senshi follow Minako-chan."

"No way!" cried Makoto. "We want to come too!"

"Here it is," said Rei as she walked back into the room,
carrying a piece of paper. She sat down next to Usagi, and held it
up for all to see, keeping Usagi at bay with her elbow.

"I want to see it!" she cried. "I want to see it!"

"She's used kanji in here that you don't know," said Rei.
"I doubt you would be able to read it."

"Not true!" cried Usagi. "We have the same grade average!"

Rei pressed a hand against Usagi's forehead, keeping her at
arm's length as she read the letter, and the odango girl flailed her
arms, stretching her fingers out as far as she could.

"'Dear Rei-chan,
I'm leaving for a few days, and don't expect me to
be back before then. If you have any trouble in the city, I place
you as leader of the inner senshi for now. Just don't get too power
hungry! I reclaim my position when I get back.

I know this seems strange, just leaving without notice,
but I want you to know, I WILL be back. I'll make sure of it... I
just know I won't be any help to the group right now.

Give everybody my love, and tell Haruka and Michiru I saw
what they were doing. Bad girls!

And tell Ami, that yes, I know we have a test soon, but
not to worry. I have it all prepared. Taiki's my tutor! See?
I've even learned new kanji! It's an up and up world, I tell you!

Give this message to Makoto. "DAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"

And to Usagi-chan... don't worry. I'll bring Seiya-kun
back in one piece.

I might as well say to Setsuna, you know where I am... if
they don't figure it out, you might as well tell them.

And to Hotaru... don't destroy the world without me!

Hugs and kisses,
Minako-chan."

"Well," said Michiru.

"I also found this around the shrine area."

"The flyer?"

"Yeah. That's where she's going," said Rei. "I know it."

"It's settled then," said Haruka. "Michiru and I will go
up and stick around Minako. Setsuna and Hotaru will stay for extra
power."

"Hey, I'M the leader," said Rei.

"Only for the little people," said Haruka, and waved it off
when Rei made a fist. "I'm joking! Really!"

"If the enemy IS there," said Michiru. "We'll try to keep
them at bay and wait until you guys get there."

"How long can it take?" asked Makoto.

"Well, around two hours by bullet train," said Ami. "But if
we combine forces and use the Sailor Teleport, it could take about
thirty seconds."

"But without three soldiers..."

"We've done it with only the inner soldiers," said Rei.

"That's right," said Usagi. "We'll have six now."

"Settled," said Haruka. "We'll leave tomorrow."

"Why not tonight?!"

"The helicopter's in the shop until next week, my
convertible got keyed the other day, and I need to find the guy who
did it and rip his heart out. My motorcycle has engine trouble,
which is easily fixed after a couple of hours of work. Our speedboat
is on loan, and I sure as Hell am NOT going to take a damn train!"

"Well," said Makoto.

"So what's left?" asked Usagi.

"A couple bicycles, A submarine and a hot air balloon. And
since it's too far to ride on a bike, that's out. The submarine is
only registered for the sea, which leaves..."

"The hot air balloon takes a couple hours to fill," said
Michiru. "We should get there by tomorrow evening."

* * * * * *

The city had fled the sight of Yaten long ago, and he stared
out of the window, watching as farm houses and rice fields blurred
past him. Taiki was reading, Seiya was twiddling his thumbs, and
Minako was talking to the engaged couple. Sighing happily, Yaten
relished in the quiet, blocking out the soft voices on the other
side of the car.

"So let me get this straight. Both of your fathers arranged
your wedding before your births. But YOUR dad arranged two others
during those sixteen years over petty okonomiyaki carts and
Chinese Amazon tribe duels, causing you grief, angst and near death
experiences."

"Right."

"Meanwhile, YOU'VE been fighting off all the guys before
school starts EVERY single day, including an incredibly romantic
guy with a wooden sword who thinks 'no' is 'yes', and 'yes' is 'I
want to be the mother of your children."

"Right."

"An old man steals your bras and panties, you can bring
mallets out of thin air just to hit him, and a lady down the street
pours water on the side walk just for kicks."

"Right."

"Can I write this down? Because this is way too strange."

"Uh... sure."

"Thanks!"

The couple looked at each other and shrugged.

"So. YOU have a fear of cats so violent it actually makes
you think you ARE one, and the only way to be brought back is when
you get near HER."

"Look, what's your point?"

"I want to move to Nerima!" she cried. The couple paled.
"You have it all! Adventure, love triangles, power, beauty,
a pet that DOESN'T talk to you. You even have the best cook in Japan
for an older sister! All that's left is learning YOU turn into a
woman every time you're hit with cold water."

The engaged couple looked at each other, and blanched,
sputtering out panicked denials. Minako rose her eyebrows and made
an "o" with her lips.

"Wow... I am ON today."

"I-It's not true!" he cried.

"Don't worry," she said. "Your secret is safe with me."

"What secret?!" he sobbed.

"The thing is," said Minako, leaning in towards them.
"While three women are engaged to him, _I_ want to get engaged to
three men."

"Really," the girl gasped, and moved over to sit next to
Minako. "I could tell you what the other girls do... it seems to
work well on guys, from what I've seen. They've caused more than
enough nose bleeds to last a life time."

The boy snorted. Minako squealed.

"I would love that!" she cried. Finally, she had a plan.

* * * * * *

*I hate chickens!* Nezu thought, as white feathers flew into
her face, clinging to her clothes and hair. She flailed her arms,
trying to get the damned things off of her, only causing more raucous
with the flightless birds.

*Great. Just dandy.*

The chicken truck rode on at a snail's pace, and Nezu sat on
the edge, feet dangling, prepared at any moment for when a phone
would ring beside her.

Which it did.

* * * * * *

The couple had gotten off at the station before Minako's,
saying their goodbyes, and wishing good luck to all. Unfortunately,
Minako could hear their arguments as the doors began to close, and
watched with thoughtfulness as the two figures rushed out of sight.

To the Three Lights, the violent teenagers had been a safe
haven, but now Minako's short attention span was redirected to the
hapless idols.

"Soooo..." she said, batting her eyelashes as she glomped
onto Yaten. "We're going to have SO much fun, you guys."

"I bet," said Seiya. "As long as we get some peace and
quiet. I've had enough of noise for one year."

"Tell me about it," said Taiki. "But as long as there
aren't any bees around, I'll be just fine."

"Bees?" asked Minako.

"Yes," he said. "I'm allergic to them."

"That's terrible!" she cried.

"You should have seen the last time he was stung," laughed
Seiya. Yaten was having a hard time keeping a straight face too.
"He was just smelling the roses one day, and there's this tiny,
cute bee--"

"It was monstrous!" defended Taiki.

"--He was flailing around like a little sissy--"

"I was not!"

"--Screaming at the top of his lungs to have somebody save
him. Well, eventually he swatted the poor thing, and it turned on
him--"

"MASSIVE hives," added Yaten. "He was in bed for over two
weeks. He couldn't even eat by himself--"

"Had to be spoon fed."

Seiya and Yaten doubled over laughing, but Minako's eyes
softened instantly, and she moved over to sit next to Taiki.

"That's so tragic!" she cried. "You must have felt awful."

"Why, yes," he said surprised. "Those two were no help."

"_I_ could have taken care of you," she said, throat thick
with seduction. Taiki scooted away, his back hitting the window,
and whimpered. He knew he had been cornered to begin with, but the
fact it was coming into physical reality made it all the more worse.

"Remember that song we sang to him?" Seiya wiped a tear
from his eye. Yaten on the other hand fell onto the floor,
clutching his stomach.

"I'm runnin' from a little bumble bee..."

"Won't the press just be so filled with glee--"

"STOP!" he sobbed. The other two hooted in amusement.

The train began to slow, and the view was visible enough to
reveal dense forest caked in mist, beckoning green, and though the
sky was darkening, it still seemed bright out, a sky masked with
gray.

"Sugoi," murmured Taiki.

"It's... it's beautiful," gasped Minako, and the train
pulled up to a tiny station, and grabbing their bags, the small
party headed out the open doors.

And there, leaning against the wall, was perfection. The
hair on the back of the Three Lights' rose, and the boys knew
competition when they saw it.

He moved with liquid motion, and standing regally, he met
the four half way. He about as tall as Taiki, and she had to stare
WAY way up to meet him eye to eye.

"Are you Aino Minako?" perfection asked.

Her heart literally leaped into her throat as she stared
at his beautiful hair. A grayish blue, like the undercoat of a
wolf. He smiled sweetly, at an angle, enough to send another twist
to her heart. He even had small fangs! Fangs!

"Am I... Aino Minako?"

"What's wrong with her?" whispered Yaten. Seiya shrugged,
and observed as her usual demeanor suddenly stilled, a rush of blank
passing through her head.

Minako looked up at Taiki, and repeated her question, fully
serious. "Am I Aino Minako?"

"Last time I checked." His eyes widened slightly.

She turned back to the young man. "I think I am."

"I'm here to pick you guys up," he said. "My name is San,
I work at the Celestial Retreat with Furui-sama."

"San..." she sighed. "What a beautiful name."

He blinked before flushing furiously.

*Innocent!!!!*

"It's nothing special," he said. "But YOUR name is one
people would kill for."

"Really?!"

"Definitely. Beautiful child of love. It suits you."

She was in love. Totally, one hundred percent fallen.

Yaten snorted, and San's golden eyes met his. That was when
Yaten felt it happen.

It was subtle at first, a tingling sensation on his skin,
trailing up and down his arms, over his neck, whispering against his
ear. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and Yaten's eyes
began to freeze as the tingling sensation began to travel through
his head and down to his heart, reaching, testing, probing, and
finally opening a door he had kept closed for so long.

San's eyes narrowed suddenly, and Yaten staggered back as
the coldness swept through him. The Three Lights could feel as the
boy suddenly put up a barrier between them, an impenetrable wall,
blocking as much of them from his mind as possible.

San would not touch them for all the world.

Minako was completely oblivious, but more importantly, she
had gained her composure back. "So what's a guy like you doing
here? You should have been discovered by now!"

She latched onto his arm and handed him a card.

"But seriously, San-san. If you ever want a manager, just
call me up. I'm sure I can find a way to fit you in my schedule."

"Thank you very much for the offer, Minako-san. But I
already... um... am tied up right now."

"I understand," she said, her light dimming.

San felt suddenly guilty, and quickly stammered, "B-but if
I ever decide to... be discovered, I'll look you up."

"Really?" She perked up, and stared into his eyes intensely.

"A-absolutely."

She squealed in delight, and they strolled down to the open
top Jeep parked in front of the station, leaving the Three Lights
behind.

"Well, that was interesting," said Seiya, watching the two.

"The way he looked at us," said Taiki, his gaze boring into
the back of San's head. "It was as if he decided we weren't worthy
to be dust."

"He knows," said Yaten flatly, but his voice trembled a bit.

"Knows what?"

"We aren't who we say we are."

"What are you talking about?"

The mysterious boy had heard the cry of a hidden secret, and
followed the trail to Yaten's heart. The silver haired idol lowered
his gaze. Was he really that open? Was he really that obvious?

Or was he begging to be found out?

"I felt him find it," said Yaten. *I helped him to...*

"Maybe you were mistaken," Taiki reasoned.

"Yeah," said Seiya. "It could be he's jealous of us."

"Because of Aino-kun?" Taiki began to laugh.

"ARE YOU GUYS COMING?" called Minako from the frontseat of the
Jeep. The three boys picked up their bags, and walked to the car,
careful not to look too rushed.

Even in the mountains, you had to keep up an image. And
that was what made Yaten even more depressed than he realized.

* * * * * *

END OF PART 1B

* * * * * *

After notes: If you haven't guessed already, the anonymous couple
is Akane and Ranma from Ranma 1/2. If you don't know that anime,
go check it out on anipike.com! It's really cute! Has a little
gender-bending thing going on too. I just thought it would be cute
to put them in there for a little bit.

Ranma ½ is owned by Naoko Takeuchi and all the other people who
have legal rights to it. I just wanted to borrow them for a second.

Why are they at the train station? Who knows. Maybe they just like
taking train rides into the mountains. And why are they anonymous?

I don't usually like writing crossovers, or even putting original
characters in... (you'd never know, would you?) Why? I have no
idea. It just makes me a little creeped out. There are so many
crossover and original character fics that have gone INCREDIBLY
wrong, that I tend to stay away from them.

But I hope this works out! Feedback is definitely appreciated!
Sarah_neko3000@hotmail.com

Party on, Wayne!