Part 3 of Mall Madness!!

A collective masterpiece by Keena523, Tuffy135, and Chuckles515. ( They sooo reek of
awesomeness!!!!)

Disclaimer: The authors of this story do not own Gundam Wing or its characters. We do not
own The Gap (We wouldn't want to), Hot Topic (we wish we did!), Coppertone ( although Tuffy
used to be the Coppertone baby), Auntie Anne's Pretzels, Team X-Treme, or anything else that
is badly thrown into the story.

Good news!! Keena and Tuffy put together their candy money and bought Chuckles something from
those quarter machines at the grocery store!

Keena: Tell the good people what you got Chuckles.
Chuckles: I got a Tuxedo Mask sticker!!!
Keena: Not anymore you don't!! Gank!!

(Keena just took Chuckles sticker)

Chuckles: NOOOOO!!!!! Tuffy stop her!!
Tuffy: KABONG!!!! *Tuffy bonked Chuckles*
Keena: Arigato Tuffy!!
Tuffy: Don't thank me. I'm just a guy who likes to hit people over the head with an oversized
wooden mallet.



Tuffy: Last time on Mall Madness!!
Keena: You know I'm sick of having to do this.
Chuckles: Yeah why do we always have to review what has happened? I mean if the readers are to
lazy to remember what happened then I don't want them as readers.
Tuffy: Baka!! We need our loyal readers without them our lives would be meaningless!!
Keena: You both are right. I think that we shouldn't spend so much time on reviewing. We
should spend more time finishing the story so that our loyal readers can get on with their lives.

(Wow Keena is a philosopher? Didn't know that)

Keena: Ok short review!! G-Boys got an invitation and they need to go to the mall, but the
only one who can drive them is Wufei. I am a magical person who can make it rain jellybeans.
Tuffy likes to hit people on the head with a big wooden mallet, and Chuckles is an idiot who
likes both Quatre and Duo, and I like Heero is that soo wrong. Can't an author find a little
happiness with out being teased? If I hear one more, just one more taunt about me and Heero I'll
take away everyone's candy privileges!!!
Tuffy: Keena you didn't take a breath during that whole monologue!
Chuckles: Hey you can't boss me around!! I'm older than you!!
Keena: Only by a week!!
Tuffy: Umm.... shouldn't we start the story. I'm sure that the readers are getting really
annoyed.
Keena: We'll settle this later!!!
Duo: Hey guys!
Chuckles: DUO!! *jumps on Duo's back*
Keena: What do you want Duo?
Duo: Umm.... Me and the other guys were wondering if we were ever going to get to the mall. And
Heero and Trowa really want to make their appearances.
Keena: See what you did Chuckles! You've kept Heero from being in this story.
Chuckles: Duo save me she's scary!
Tuffy: That's it!! * pulls out wooden mallet* Chuckles let go of Duo. Keena stop yelling.
Readers please keep reading.


_____________________________________________________________________________

Part 3 of Mall Madness!!

Somehow someway Duo and Quatre convinced Wufei and the other G-Boys to go to the mall.

Chuckles: Hey what happened to this part of the story? I thought we wrote it in summer school
the other day.
Keena: We did, but SOMEBODY fed it to his pet poster and his pet fax machine.
Tuffy: Hey! Mr. Panda and Orville were hungry.
Keena: You didn't have to feed them the whole thing though!
Tuffy: It wouldn't have gone to waste if Keena hadn't killed my pet fax machine!
Keena: Gomen nasai Tuffy!
Tuffy: Daijoubu desu wa. It's okay though he was weird anyway. Besides I got a new pet toaster.
Chuckles: Ah man!

(Ignore the fighting authors)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the car

Duo: I'm bored. Are we there yet Wu-man?
Wufei: I told you already two minutes ago Maxwell!!
Duo: Wufei?
Wufei: What Baka?
Duo: My names not Baka its Duo....D-O....ummmm-U yeah D-O-U! DUO!!
(Laughter is faintly heard from Heero and Trowa)
Quatre: Umm..Duo. You spelled your name wrong.
Duo: No I didn't!! I spelled it right. D-O-U....Duo
(Even more laughter).
Wufei: You baka!! You can't even spell your name right.
Duo: Can to!! I just did!
Wufei: You're an idiot.
Duo: Am not!
Wufei: You are.
Quatre: We shouldn't be fighting at all!
Wufei: I'll stop if he stops.
Duo: Fine.

(After about two minutes of awkward silence Duo gets bored)

Duo: Wufei.... Could you turn on the radio?
Wufei: No.
Duo: *sigh*

Duo: *starts to sing really quiet) 100 bottles of beer on the wall. 100 bottles of beer.
Wufei: Stop it Maxwell.
Duo: (gets a little louder) Ya take one down. (gets even louder) Ya pass it around!
(screaming) 99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!!!
Wufei: Maxwell stop!
Quatre: He's right you shouldn't be singing about alcoholic beverages. (Duo starts to pout,
but then gets a light bulb moment)
Duo: 99 bottles of non-alcoholic beverages on the wall.
Quatre: That's better.
Duo & Quatre: 99 bottles of non-alcoholic beverages. (Wufei is beginning to become very agitated)
Ya take 1 down. Ya pass it around! *click*

(Heero is now aiming two guns at Duo & Quatre)
Heero: Stop it.
Duo & Quatre: *gulp*
Trowa: We're here.
(Everyone is silent. You would be too if you heard Trowa talking)
Duo & Quatre: YEAH!!
Quatre: Come on Trowa lets go to The Gap.
Trowa: .........
Duo: I'm gonna go get some clothes!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Heero: Hn...{maybe there's a gun shop}
Wufei: Baka!...Shopping is for women. {Maybe Keena will be here}

*elsewhere at the author's incredibly cramped one bedroom apartment*

Tuffy: Keena why do you get the bedroom?
Chuckles: Yeah. Why do I have to sleep in the bathtub?
Keena: Because I'm the on who has the most clothes therefore I need the closet. Also I'm the
cutest! {=^_^=}
Chuckles: I can't argue with her there.
Tuffy: Well I can! I'm the cutest and I'm the sexiest! (does the Coppertone baby pose)
Keena: You are not!! I am!!
Chuckles: We shouldn't be fighting at all!!......Oh wait yes we should! There's only one way to
solve this.
Keena: By talking out our problems over a nice hot cup of chamomile tea!
Chuckles: No! In the squared circle!
Tuffy: YES!! * Tuffy is dressed as a luchadore* I am the fifth strongest man in the world!
Keena: Fine you're on!! *Keena is dressed in a sexay bunny outfit*
Tuffy: Hey that's mine!
Keena: Oops! Wrong costume!! (poof!) * Keena is dressed a-la Team X-Treme! *
Chuckles: Keena you didn't change much. But you do look 2-Xtreme.
Tuffy: Bring it on!!!!
Keena: WAIT! I wanna fight with gundams!!
Chuckles: I'm gonna use Duo's!!
Keena: How'd you get that?
Chuckles: I traded some jellybeans for it.
Keena: But you're not fighting.
Chuckles: So? I want to be close to my Duo...ahh. *Chuckles is starry eyed*
Keena & Tuffy:.....ummm....okay.....whoa...that was weird.... (awkward silence) ....cut it out!
.....Ruth Bader Ginsburg!....oooohhhh.
Keena: I call Heero's
Tuffy: Which one?
Keena: Wing Zero!! MUAH HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!
Tuffy: I call Tallgeese 3.
Chuckles: How'd you get that?
Tuffy: I stole it from Zechs.
Chuckles & Keena: Ooooohhhh. You said a naughty word!!
Tuffy: No I didn't I said "Zechs".
Chuckles: He did it again!
Keena: Does anyone remember why I'm in Wing Zero?
Chuckles: No, but I'm in the Deathscythe Hell Custom!! Duo was here!!!
Tuffy: We are fighting over the title of who is the cutest.

Keena: Bring it!!
Tuffy: I shall break you across my knee like so. * breaks Keena across his knee* Because I am
the fifth strongest man in the world.
Keena: Ow! Wait I got an idea.
Chuckles: That's a first!
Keena: Stuff it Chuckles! Why are we fighting?
Tuffy: To see who will have control over the bedroom and then ultimately the closet. And then
the world.
Keena: But why?
Tuffy: Because violence is the answer to everything?
Keena: But Tuffy we are the almighty and all powerful authors. We can just write that we live
in a mansion.
Tuffy: Good idea Keena.

(And so the authors now live in a mansion)

Tuffy: I call the east wing!
Keena: I call the west wing!
Chuckles: I call the southwest wing!!
Keena: Baka! Just take the southern wing.
Chuckles: Sweeeeeettt.......

(Meanwhile the Gundam boys were still at the mall)

Duo:...... ( he's in awe of the wonder that stands before him...Hot Topic!)
Store clerk: Umm..Aren't you going to come in?

*Duo gets really excited and runs into the store and knocks down a shopper carry some really
naughty things*

Duo: THE GOD OF DEATH IS BACK IN HELL!!

(At The Gap)

Quatre: See Trowa. Jeans are too informal. You should wear kakis. And this pink shirt.
You'll look like a gentleman.
Trowa:......

(Somewhere else in the mall...Oh let's say near the Warner Brothers store)
Weird teenage girl (no its not Keena): Wow! It's a hot suicidal perfect soldier!
(In case you can't tell she's talking about Heero)
*Keena appears*
Keena: Where's the hot suicidal boy? Is he dark and mysterious?
*Tuffy appears*
Tuffy: Keena we're not supposed to be in this part of the story.
Keena: But there's a hot suicidal guy here!!
Tuffy: Come on Keena. Let's go home and eat some candy. I got pixie stix.
Keena: CANDY!

*Keena & Tuffy disappear*

(At the escalator)

Wufei:..{Where's Keena?..... I'm hungry...Oooohh look Auntie Anne's Pretzels!}
A.A.P.'s employee: How may I help you?
Wufei: I'd like a sour cream and onion pretzel.
A.A.P.'s Emp.: I'm sorry sir, but we are out of those. Would you like something else?
Wufei: No, dammit. I want a freaking sour cream and onion pretzel.
A.A.P.'s Emp.: Sir calm down or I will have to call security.
Wufei: *pulls out katana* KISAMA!

(Back at The Gap)

Quatre: Here Trowa go try on these!
Trowa:........

(In the dressing room Trowa looks around and sees a mirror, some clothes, and an air vent)

Trowa:..... {..... I got an idea...}

* Trowa climbs into the ventilation duct and follows it to another vent*

Trowa:.....

*He jumps down out of the vent and is in front of a hunting supply store*

Trowa:......

(Yet again at the food court)
Girl: WOW! Look it's a hot suicidal boy in spandex pants!!

*Girl runs up to Heero*

Girl: You're cute. Can I give you my phone number?
Heero: Hnn.

*Girl proceeds to write her phone number on Heero's arm*


(In the security office.... oooohhhh someones in trouble!!)

Security officer (who just by luck happens to be a women): Young man do you know what kind of
trouble you've gotten into?
Wufei: This is an injustice! I refuse to speak to a weak onna. Where is your superior officer?
Security lady: Young man I am the head of mall security.
Wufei: Let me talk to a man onna!
Security lady: I'm going to leave you here until you learn to respect authority.
(That'll be a while)
Security: What was that?
(Ummm... Look it's Relena!)
Wufei: NO! *pulls out katana and runs out of the room*
(That went along nicely)
Security lady: What is that sound?


(Still at Hot Topic)

Store clerk: We have numerous combat boots.
Duo: Do you have any bat wings?
Store clerk: No, but we do have angel wings.
Duo: Oh.... Heero would like those.
Store clerk: I'm sure your boyfriend would like them.
Duo: Oh he's not my boyfriend.
(I refuse to make this a yaio fic. Go ahead send me flames about it. I don't care!)
Store clerk: Umm... anyway. We have tons of black clothing.
Duo: Sweeet.

(At the hunting supplies store)
Trowa:...... {Catherine would like these knives}


(At the author's new mansion)
Keena: Wow. I'm glad we decided to move here. Hey Tuffy watch this! LOOK HOW LOUD I HAVE TO
YELL!!! *what Keena just said is echoed a couple of times*
Tuffy: Oh yeah watch this!! *pulls out mallet* KA-BONG!! *bonks Chuckles*
Keena: Hey that was cool! Can I try?
Tuffy: No. Get your own mallet.
Keena: You're mean...*starts to pout*
Tuffy: Keena stop that or I'll hit ya!
Keena: Gomen nasai Tuffy...

(Back at the mall Wufei is running wild and wildly waving his katana around while shouting out
Japanese obscenities)
Wufei: KUTABARE!!! SHIMATTA!! Etc. etc.
(See?)

(At Hot Topic)
Store clerk: Here is our fine assortment of hats.
Duo: Hilde likes hats. Do you have any berets?
Store clerk: Yes. Here is our best seller. *pulls out a raspberry colored beret*
Duo: A raspberry beret?!?!
Store clerk: Yep. The kind you'd find in a second hand store.
Duo: WOW! Really?
Store clerk: Yep. A raspberry beret.
Duo: If it was warm she wouldn't where much more.
A group of shoppers: A raspberry beret!
Duo: I think..... ahhh.. I think... ahhh.... I think I lo-oove her.


(Somewhere else in the mall)

Quatre: I wondered where Trowa went off to........*stops* Oh look! Abercrombie & Fitch......
Sounds classy. *walks into store and looks at the pictures on the walls*
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! NAKEDNESS!!!!!......*grabs salesperson* Did you know that those people are
NAKED?

*Tuffy appears*
Tuffy: Nakedness...where?
Quatre: Over there.
Tuffy: Everybody's hugging........
Quatre: On those posters over there. and over there. AHHHHHH!!!!!! They're everywhere!!!!
*runs out of the store*
Tuffy: That boy ain't right. I should go chase after him and bonk him...... but I left Keena
and Chuckles alone....they're probably having a pie fight by now. I can never leave those two
alone.
*Tuffy disappears*

(By the big fountain in the middle of the mall)

Girl #4: WOW!! It's the perfect soldier. Hey can I give you my phone number?
Heero: Hnn.

(In front of Spencer's gifts)
Wufei: AHHHHHH!!!! Must kill Relena!!! Shimatta.... Where is she?.....ARGHH!!

(At the Author's mansion)
Keena: What did you just call me?
Chuckles: I called you a slut!
Keena: Harlot!
Chuckles: Tart!!
Keena: Blowen!!
Chuckles: Skank!!!
Keena: Jezebel!!!
Chuckles: Charlatan!!!!
Keena: That's it you're going down!!
*Keena lunges at Chuckles and they proceed to fight*

*Tuffy enters the room carrying pies*
Tuffy: Ten custard cream pies--ahh *Tuffy was knocked over by the hurricane that was Keena &
Chuckles* HEY!! Those were my pies! I was going to eat them.
Chuckles & Keena: And you weren't going to share with us?
Tuffy: No. Its was ALL for me. *rubs his tummy* All for me.
Chuckles: Damn you!!
Tuffy: Don't make me hurt you! *pulls out mallet*
Keena & Chuckles: We'll be good.


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Authors' notes!!!

Keena:Um..... yeah it was getting kinda long and I REALLY wanted to post part 3. I've been
spending a lot of time online because I fractured my ankle.
Tuffy: Please read and review. We're trying really hard to decide how this story ends.
Keena: Yeah there might be a sequel if you the readers request it, or if I feel bored and decide
to write more.
Chuckles: Hey look I got a new Gundam Wing poster!!
Keena: Not anymore you don't!! GANK!!

Tuffy: Will the G-Boys ever leave the mall? Will Quatre find Trowa? Will Keena kill Chuckles?
Find out in part 4 of Mall Madness!! U^;^U
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So what did you think? Should I write a sequel to this..... It'll probably be about Relena's
party. Review or send me e-mail Keena523@yahoo.com {=^_^=}