Authors Notes: I'm glad Fanfiction.net is back up, and I can log in to post this chapter...it's been sitting on my computer for about 3 weeks. Special thanks to Tigris for proof-reading my story for me, and helping me name this chapter! Also, I'm afraid I'm starting to stray from being true to Seifer's character. If anyone reads through this and has a little voice saying, "Seifer wouldn't do that!", please tell me. If you rant and rave, I'll ignore you, but if you explain exactly what didn't settle right for you, and seem to have a valid point, I'll try to fix it.
Chapter 5: Acceptance
Scanning the cafeteria tables, she noticed Zell, Irvine and Selphie gathered together at a table in the center of the cafeteria. Instead, she headed towards the far corner of the cafeteria, her eyes falling upon a familiar trench coat. She set her tray on the table with a firm bang, as if daring anyone else in the cafeteria to challenge her choice of tables. Sitting next to Fujin, she received a surprised look from both her and Seifer.
"Hey, Instructor, just eating lunch, ya know?" Raijin greeted her.
"Hello Raijin, Fujin, Seifer." She leaned over the table to Seifer, sitting across from her. Quistis pointed with her fork to an astonished Trepie. He followed her gaze towards the Trepie, but remained emotionless. Turning back to her, he watched as she snagged a bite of lasanga from his plate. Winking at Seifer, she ate it, never looking back at the Trepie's reaction. Reading his eyes, she knew he understood.
"By the way, Raijin, call me Quistis."
*************************************************************
"I remember you now, a little. You and Squall stick out in my memory the most. You, the bossy little blond bombshell."
"Are you sure you aren't thinking of Zell?" Quistis teased.
"Chicken-wuss? Nah, you were the bossy one, always trying to be everyone's mother. Looking for Edea's approval," Seifer replied.
"I think we all did...we looked up to Matron."
He shook his head. "You were different. You still are...always trying to be everything to everyone, to do what they want you to do. That's why I can't believe you did that in front of that Trepie at lunch. Aren't you afraid of falling from grace in his eyes?"
"I couldn't care less about that," she said indifferently, lying back on the bed. "I'm just worried about you getting in trouble. I mean, I'm not supposed to be here. And don't you think everyone's just waiting for a chance to get you expelled?"
"Nah," Seifer answered casually. "See, the guys dorms are a different world, hon."
She made a face, wrinkling her nose. "Don't call me that."
Continuing as if he hadn't heard her, he said, "Guys aren't nearly as vindictive as you girls tend to be. We see, or hear, a chick in a guys dorm, applaud for them, and return to our own lives. It's a code of honor among us. You don't rat another guy for getting some action."
"You aren't GETTING any action," Quistis reminded him.
He snorted. "They don't know that. Like sneaking into my dorm after midnight looks like a social call."
"Tell them we're reliving old childhood memories."
"I could do that, if we actually had any. I still don't remember Selphie or Irvine."
"You've never really met Irvine or Selph, though, have you? You don't know them now, to remind you of anyone from back then," Quistis answered thoughtfully.
Seifer paused for a moment to consider this. "Good point.."
"That's probably why you remember Squall and I the clearest," she continued.
"Nah, doubt it," he replied. "You two pissed me off the most, that's all."
"...We did?" she questioned.
"Yeah, Squall was always acting like a hot shot. He had the crazy idea somehow he was better than me. Obviously, he never got over it."
"What about me?"
He looked at her from his seat next to her on the bed, studying her. After a moment, he simply said, "I never understood you." Changing the subject, he said, "I don't remember Zell exactly, but I remember a kid that must have been him. He was a whiny little shit."
Quistis laughed. "He wasn't as much of a rebel as you, at least."
"I'm trying to remember Irvine, but I just can't picture some little kid dressed like a cowboy."
She shook her head. "No, you've got it all wrong. He wasn't like that then."
"No ponytail?"
"No ponytail."
He wrinkled his forehead in concentration. After a minute, he let out a frustrated sigh. "All I can think of for some reason is playing down by the lighthouse, and you running from Zell and snagging your braid on the fence."
"Then you got mad and tried to make Zell eat sand!" Quistis finished.
He smirked and moved farther away on the bed, then stretched out and lay back on the bed. "Then we mashed up those berries and made war paint."
Quistis' eyes went wide. "Matron was furious!"
Time passed and afternoon became night as they sat in Seifer's dorm, sharing childhood stories and encouraging each others memories to resurface. Ocassionally, one of them would touch on a memory of sorrow, but the conversation would quickly turn back to a happier, amusing moment at the orphanage.
"Do you remember a girl there? She had dark hair, but I'm positive she wasn't Selphie...You were in awe of her," Seifer questioned.
"An older girl, right? That was Ellone, Squall's sister."
"Yeah, that must be her. Ellone. You changed after she left," Seifer replied, his voice sounding distant.
"What do you mean?" Quistis asked.
He turned to face her, but didn't really seem to be seeing her. His eyes were gazing someplace beyond her, his mind back at the orphanage all those years ago. "Just...you were always this small, quiet little girl, always by the wall getting picked on. Not MEAN things...just the things children do. Pulling your hair, hiding a toy, kid things like that. And you were quiet and didn't really fight back. You just accepted it. And after Ellone left...you became more...dominate, really. You didn't need anyone to make sure you weren't bullied. You were the one making sure the other kids weren't teased."
(You didn't need me anymore)
As the conversation went on, Quistis began to remember Seifer much clearer. He was the same, and yet very different. Always a smart-ass tough guy, that seemed to be in his blood. But, all those years ago, he seemed more like a protector, the one who fought for her, who backed down anyone who tried to harrass her. Still, even then, he managed to keep the same attitude that he wasn't actually TRYING to help her. No, he didn't care less about her. He just wanted a good fight, or his own revenge on whoever was tormenting her, or he was bored. It simply happened to conveniently help her, as well. And from that, a friendship grew between them, though neither of them ever admitted it. They both knew it was there. And they both needed that friendship for their own reasons. Recalling the way Seifer had been as a child, the way he had treated her, the things they had shared, the jokes, the secrets, the experiences they went through...It changed the way she saw Seifer. And as they continued talking, and his eyes slowly began to soften when he looked at her, she knew that his opinion of her had been altered as well.
Finally, she stood up, stretching her legs. "It's late, Seifer. I'm going to start getting ready for bed." She walked into the bathroom. "Do you remember a field? It sticks out in my mind for some reason," she called, putting toothpaste on her tooth brush.
"Field," he muttered. His mind ached with all the things he was trying to remember, and yet he was enjoying the conversation, recalling all these long-forgotten details and stories and trying to re-live them in his mind. He thought for a moment, then answered, "I remember a lot of field land there. It was pretty rural, after all. And we all played outside a lot, probably in the field."
Several moments passed, then Quistis rinsed off her toothbrush. Walking back into the room, she grabbed some clothes to change into. "So the field doesn't stand out at all?" she questioned, breaking into his thoughts.
"No...just the opposite. It seems different somehow. It's something significant. I just don't remember why."
"Me either...maybe you're right, it's just because we spent a great deal of time there," she answered, going back into the bathroom to change.
He closed his eyes, searching.
Field.
Waving stalks of golden wheat.
Sunshine.
Running through the field.
All of a sudden, something in his mind clicked. He wasn't picturing the field anymore, he was remembering it.
The feel of the grass snapping against his knees as he ran.
The whistle of a dove nearby.
The smell of the sunshine after it warmed the dew on the grass.
He could feel smooth skin held in his hand, the skin of someone's wrist as he led them behind him.
"Hurry up!"
"I'm trying, Seif!" a voice answered behind him. The voice was high, a young girl with a lilting voice.
He let go of her arm, running ahead and throwing himself to the ground in a hollow behind a small hill in the field. A hollow where they were hidden from the eyes of those at the orphanage. His private territory.
He heard her fall to the ground behind him, the wheat crackling under her as she lay there, gasping to catch her breath. He was breathing heavily as well, trying to hide it, so that he would look stronger and more fit than her. He stood up and turned around to where a little girl lay sprawled on the ground, her blond hair in disarray. He frowned at her, taking her hands and helping her up.
"How are you supposed to make SeeD if you can hardly even run?"
She glared, putting her hands on her hips."Matron says I'll be a SeeD long before you will!"
"Yeah, right. You're a girl."
"So? Matron says you'll never get to be a SeeD. You're in time-out too much."
"I won't be in time-out at Garden, dummy."
The bathroom door clicked open, startling him out of his daydream.
"Did you fall asleep?" Quistis asked, sounding surprised.
He frowned a little, sitting up. "I'm not sure.."
There was silence as they looked at each other for a moment.
"Your shirt is wrinkled," Seifer announced quietly.
"That's because it's been sitting in a bag since 9 a.m. this morning, when I got it from my dorm."
"You could hang it in the closet..." he replied. His tone changed, suddenly going back to his usual condescending attitude as he added, "That's what it's there for, genius." Standing up, he walked into the bathroom, shutting the door loudly behind him. Quistis smiled slightly at his behavior, then quickly made Raijin's bed. She had asked him earlier that day if he minded her using his bed, and he agreed to it rather nicely. She thought it was a small wonder that he and Seifer had ever ended up as friends at all. When she was finished, she began hanging the few clothes she had brought up in the closet. Seifer came out of the bathroom, and saw her, but said nothing. He set his alarm, then lay down in bed. After a moment, she closed the closet and turned off the light. Laying down in Raijin's bed, she began drifting off to sleep when Seifer asked, " Do you remember there being a hollow in the field where we used to hide?"
She thought for a moment. "No..." she replied slowly. "I don't, not right now, at least. If I do, I'll tell you."
Several minutes of silence passed, until it was interrupted by a whisper.
"Do you remember when we used to tell stories about how our parents were going to come back for us someday?"
******************************************************************
"Yeah, right. You're a girl."
"So? Matron says you'll never get to be a SeeD. You're in time-out too much."
"I won't be in time-out at Garden, dummy."
"I'd still be a SeeD long before you, if I could go to Garden. I'd train so much."
"So go to Garden...prove it."
"You know I can't do that, Seifer."
"Why not?"
"Because I have a family now. I have to go live with them. Matron says everyone gets to go to Garden if they don't have families. She says a family is better and I should be happy."
"Are you?"
*****************************************************************
Her eyes blinked open the next morning. Bright sunshine glared in her eyes, and she dimly realised she had slept late. A glance at the clock confirmed that it was well into the morning, and the latest she could ever remember sleeping. Losing her instructor's license was making her too relaxed. She rubbed her eyes and looked around the room. Seifer was gone. She stood up and, assuming he must have had a class, changed her clothes. It wasn't until she was brushing out her hair that she noticed her name scrawled on a piece of paper sitting on his desk. She looked over curiously and read:
Quistis:
Don't say I never wrote you poetry.
Sometimes roses are red
Violets are usually blue.
What the fuck have I ever done
To deserve getting stuck with you?
You can thank me later.
-S
She smiled, shaking her head. Grabbing a pen off the desk, she scribbled under the poem:
Insensitive bastard. I told you that you couldn't impress me. After all that bragging, some ladies man you turned out to be.
There was a knock, and she set the pen down. Curiously, she slowly opened the door to find Selphie and Rinoa on the other side.
Selphie squealed. "Here we are, to save you!"
"..Save me?"
"From Seifer, of course!" She clapped her hands together, and hopped up and down.
Rinoa continued for her, " We're going to break the spell!"
"How?"
"Just like Matron told us!" Selphie replied. "You have to meet the right guy, right? So we're gonna help you!" She squealed again, and hugged Quistis. "Just think, pretty soon you will be out of this hell!"
"How are you going to help me?" Quistis asked warily.
"We all met and came up with a list of guys we thought would be PERFECT for you! Guys that we trust not to be total scum, so you don't have to worry about that. Now we just get you to meet them, one at a time, of course, and see what happens!"
"Oh, Selphie, you know I hate blind dates."
"It's better than Seifer, right?"
"Right.."
"Good! Then come to the cafeteria tonight at 6:30! And don't you dare not show! We'll see you then!" Selphie said in a rush, waving before she turned to run back down the hallway. Rinoa frowned slightly at Quistis, looking thoughtful, then turned to follow Selphie. Shutting the door, Quistis shook her head. The idea of a date in less than 8 hours was daunting enough, not to mention the thought of several dates to follow. She wondered just how long this list of Selphie's was.
Sitting down on Raijin's bed, she began thinking about just what would happen if this actually worked. She cheered up at the idea of actually meeting a guy..the guy, the right, perfect guy. Of having someone there with her, like Rinoa had Squall or Selphie had Irvine. And yet, what would happen to her and Seifer? She knew they'd never stay on friendly terms. She wondered to herself how it would be, when they went back to pretending like they didn't know each other. How it would be when she went to a dorm without Seifer there. Without his wise-ass comments. Without that ugly rag he used to polish Hyperion laying on the floor by the door all the time. How it would be, when he just wasn't there anymore.
She hated to admit it, even to herself. But she was finally starting to get used to this arrangement.
Chapter 5: Acceptance
Scanning the cafeteria tables, she noticed Zell, Irvine and Selphie gathered together at a table in the center of the cafeteria. Instead, she headed towards the far corner of the cafeteria, her eyes falling upon a familiar trench coat. She set her tray on the table with a firm bang, as if daring anyone else in the cafeteria to challenge her choice of tables. Sitting next to Fujin, she received a surprised look from both her and Seifer.
"Hey, Instructor, just eating lunch, ya know?" Raijin greeted her.
"Hello Raijin, Fujin, Seifer." She leaned over the table to Seifer, sitting across from her. Quistis pointed with her fork to an astonished Trepie. He followed her gaze towards the Trepie, but remained emotionless. Turning back to her, he watched as she snagged a bite of lasanga from his plate. Winking at Seifer, she ate it, never looking back at the Trepie's reaction. Reading his eyes, she knew he understood.
"By the way, Raijin, call me Quistis."
*************************************************************
"I remember you now, a little. You and Squall stick out in my memory the most. You, the bossy little blond bombshell."
"Are you sure you aren't thinking of Zell?" Quistis teased.
"Chicken-wuss? Nah, you were the bossy one, always trying to be everyone's mother. Looking for Edea's approval," Seifer replied.
"I think we all did...we looked up to Matron."
He shook his head. "You were different. You still are...always trying to be everything to everyone, to do what they want you to do. That's why I can't believe you did that in front of that Trepie at lunch. Aren't you afraid of falling from grace in his eyes?"
"I couldn't care less about that," she said indifferently, lying back on the bed. "I'm just worried about you getting in trouble. I mean, I'm not supposed to be here. And don't you think everyone's just waiting for a chance to get you expelled?"
"Nah," Seifer answered casually. "See, the guys dorms are a different world, hon."
She made a face, wrinkling her nose. "Don't call me that."
Continuing as if he hadn't heard her, he said, "Guys aren't nearly as vindictive as you girls tend to be. We see, or hear, a chick in a guys dorm, applaud for them, and return to our own lives. It's a code of honor among us. You don't rat another guy for getting some action."
"You aren't GETTING any action," Quistis reminded him.
He snorted. "They don't know that. Like sneaking into my dorm after midnight looks like a social call."
"Tell them we're reliving old childhood memories."
"I could do that, if we actually had any. I still don't remember Selphie or Irvine."
"You've never really met Irvine or Selph, though, have you? You don't know them now, to remind you of anyone from back then," Quistis answered thoughtfully.
Seifer paused for a moment to consider this. "Good point.."
"That's probably why you remember Squall and I the clearest," she continued.
"Nah, doubt it," he replied. "You two pissed me off the most, that's all."
"...We did?" she questioned.
"Yeah, Squall was always acting like a hot shot. He had the crazy idea somehow he was better than me. Obviously, he never got over it."
"What about me?"
He looked at her from his seat next to her on the bed, studying her. After a moment, he simply said, "I never understood you." Changing the subject, he said, "I don't remember Zell exactly, but I remember a kid that must have been him. He was a whiny little shit."
Quistis laughed. "He wasn't as much of a rebel as you, at least."
"I'm trying to remember Irvine, but I just can't picture some little kid dressed like a cowboy."
She shook her head. "No, you've got it all wrong. He wasn't like that then."
"No ponytail?"
"No ponytail."
He wrinkled his forehead in concentration. After a minute, he let out a frustrated sigh. "All I can think of for some reason is playing down by the lighthouse, and you running from Zell and snagging your braid on the fence."
"Then you got mad and tried to make Zell eat sand!" Quistis finished.
He smirked and moved farther away on the bed, then stretched out and lay back on the bed. "Then we mashed up those berries and made war paint."
Quistis' eyes went wide. "Matron was furious!"
Time passed and afternoon became night as they sat in Seifer's dorm, sharing childhood stories and encouraging each others memories to resurface. Ocassionally, one of them would touch on a memory of sorrow, but the conversation would quickly turn back to a happier, amusing moment at the orphanage.
"Do you remember a girl there? She had dark hair, but I'm positive she wasn't Selphie...You were in awe of her," Seifer questioned.
"An older girl, right? That was Ellone, Squall's sister."
"Yeah, that must be her. Ellone. You changed after she left," Seifer replied, his voice sounding distant.
"What do you mean?" Quistis asked.
He turned to face her, but didn't really seem to be seeing her. His eyes were gazing someplace beyond her, his mind back at the orphanage all those years ago. "Just...you were always this small, quiet little girl, always by the wall getting picked on. Not MEAN things...just the things children do. Pulling your hair, hiding a toy, kid things like that. And you were quiet and didn't really fight back. You just accepted it. And after Ellone left...you became more...dominate, really. You didn't need anyone to make sure you weren't bullied. You were the one making sure the other kids weren't teased."
(You didn't need me anymore)
As the conversation went on, Quistis began to remember Seifer much clearer. He was the same, and yet very different. Always a smart-ass tough guy, that seemed to be in his blood. But, all those years ago, he seemed more like a protector, the one who fought for her, who backed down anyone who tried to harrass her. Still, even then, he managed to keep the same attitude that he wasn't actually TRYING to help her. No, he didn't care less about her. He just wanted a good fight, or his own revenge on whoever was tormenting her, or he was bored. It simply happened to conveniently help her, as well. And from that, a friendship grew between them, though neither of them ever admitted it. They both knew it was there. And they both needed that friendship for their own reasons. Recalling the way Seifer had been as a child, the way he had treated her, the things they had shared, the jokes, the secrets, the experiences they went through...It changed the way she saw Seifer. And as they continued talking, and his eyes slowly began to soften when he looked at her, she knew that his opinion of her had been altered as well.
Finally, she stood up, stretching her legs. "It's late, Seifer. I'm going to start getting ready for bed." She walked into the bathroom. "Do you remember a field? It sticks out in my mind for some reason," she called, putting toothpaste on her tooth brush.
"Field," he muttered. His mind ached with all the things he was trying to remember, and yet he was enjoying the conversation, recalling all these long-forgotten details and stories and trying to re-live them in his mind. He thought for a moment, then answered, "I remember a lot of field land there. It was pretty rural, after all. And we all played outside a lot, probably in the field."
Several moments passed, then Quistis rinsed off her toothbrush. Walking back into the room, she grabbed some clothes to change into. "So the field doesn't stand out at all?" she questioned, breaking into his thoughts.
"No...just the opposite. It seems different somehow. It's something significant. I just don't remember why."
"Me either...maybe you're right, it's just because we spent a great deal of time there," she answered, going back into the bathroom to change.
He closed his eyes, searching.
Field.
Waving stalks of golden wheat.
Sunshine.
Running through the field.
All of a sudden, something in his mind clicked. He wasn't picturing the field anymore, he was remembering it.
The feel of the grass snapping against his knees as he ran.
The whistle of a dove nearby.
The smell of the sunshine after it warmed the dew on the grass.
He could feel smooth skin held in his hand, the skin of someone's wrist as he led them behind him.
"Hurry up!"
"I'm trying, Seif!" a voice answered behind him. The voice was high, a young girl with a lilting voice.
He let go of her arm, running ahead and throwing himself to the ground in a hollow behind a small hill in the field. A hollow where they were hidden from the eyes of those at the orphanage. His private territory.
He heard her fall to the ground behind him, the wheat crackling under her as she lay there, gasping to catch her breath. He was breathing heavily as well, trying to hide it, so that he would look stronger and more fit than her. He stood up and turned around to where a little girl lay sprawled on the ground, her blond hair in disarray. He frowned at her, taking her hands and helping her up.
"How are you supposed to make SeeD if you can hardly even run?"
She glared, putting her hands on her hips."Matron says I'll be a SeeD long before you will!"
"Yeah, right. You're a girl."
"So? Matron says you'll never get to be a SeeD. You're in time-out too much."
"I won't be in time-out at Garden, dummy."
The bathroom door clicked open, startling him out of his daydream.
"Did you fall asleep?" Quistis asked, sounding surprised.
He frowned a little, sitting up. "I'm not sure.."
There was silence as they looked at each other for a moment.
"Your shirt is wrinkled," Seifer announced quietly.
"That's because it's been sitting in a bag since 9 a.m. this morning, when I got it from my dorm."
"You could hang it in the closet..." he replied. His tone changed, suddenly going back to his usual condescending attitude as he added, "That's what it's there for, genius." Standing up, he walked into the bathroom, shutting the door loudly behind him. Quistis smiled slightly at his behavior, then quickly made Raijin's bed. She had asked him earlier that day if he minded her using his bed, and he agreed to it rather nicely. She thought it was a small wonder that he and Seifer had ever ended up as friends at all. When she was finished, she began hanging the few clothes she had brought up in the closet. Seifer came out of the bathroom, and saw her, but said nothing. He set his alarm, then lay down in bed. After a moment, she closed the closet and turned off the light. Laying down in Raijin's bed, she began drifting off to sleep when Seifer asked, " Do you remember there being a hollow in the field where we used to hide?"
She thought for a moment. "No..." she replied slowly. "I don't, not right now, at least. If I do, I'll tell you."
Several minutes of silence passed, until it was interrupted by a whisper.
"Do you remember when we used to tell stories about how our parents were going to come back for us someday?"
******************************************************************
"Yeah, right. You're a girl."
"So? Matron says you'll never get to be a SeeD. You're in time-out too much."
"I won't be in time-out at Garden, dummy."
"I'd still be a SeeD long before you, if I could go to Garden. I'd train so much."
"So go to Garden...prove it."
"You know I can't do that, Seifer."
"Why not?"
"Because I have a family now. I have to go live with them. Matron says everyone gets to go to Garden if they don't have families. She says a family is better and I should be happy."
"Are you?"
*****************************************************************
Her eyes blinked open the next morning. Bright sunshine glared in her eyes, and she dimly realised she had slept late. A glance at the clock confirmed that it was well into the morning, and the latest she could ever remember sleeping. Losing her instructor's license was making her too relaxed. She rubbed her eyes and looked around the room. Seifer was gone. She stood up and, assuming he must have had a class, changed her clothes. It wasn't until she was brushing out her hair that she noticed her name scrawled on a piece of paper sitting on his desk. She looked over curiously and read:
Quistis:
Don't say I never wrote you poetry.
Sometimes roses are red
Violets are usually blue.
What the fuck have I ever done
To deserve getting stuck with you?
You can thank me later.
-S
She smiled, shaking her head. Grabbing a pen off the desk, she scribbled under the poem:
Insensitive bastard. I told you that you couldn't impress me. After all that bragging, some ladies man you turned out to be.
There was a knock, and she set the pen down. Curiously, she slowly opened the door to find Selphie and Rinoa on the other side.
Selphie squealed. "Here we are, to save you!"
"..Save me?"
"From Seifer, of course!" She clapped her hands together, and hopped up and down.
Rinoa continued for her, " We're going to break the spell!"
"How?"
"Just like Matron told us!" Selphie replied. "You have to meet the right guy, right? So we're gonna help you!" She squealed again, and hugged Quistis. "Just think, pretty soon you will be out of this hell!"
"How are you going to help me?" Quistis asked warily.
"We all met and came up with a list of guys we thought would be PERFECT for you! Guys that we trust not to be total scum, so you don't have to worry about that. Now we just get you to meet them, one at a time, of course, and see what happens!"
"Oh, Selphie, you know I hate blind dates."
"It's better than Seifer, right?"
"Right.."
"Good! Then come to the cafeteria tonight at 6:30! And don't you dare not show! We'll see you then!" Selphie said in a rush, waving before she turned to run back down the hallway. Rinoa frowned slightly at Quistis, looking thoughtful, then turned to follow Selphie. Shutting the door, Quistis shook her head. The idea of a date in less than 8 hours was daunting enough, not to mention the thought of several dates to follow. She wondered just how long this list of Selphie's was.
Sitting down on Raijin's bed, she began thinking about just what would happen if this actually worked. She cheered up at the idea of actually meeting a guy..the guy, the right, perfect guy. Of having someone there with her, like Rinoa had Squall or Selphie had Irvine. And yet, what would happen to her and Seifer? She knew they'd never stay on friendly terms. She wondered to herself how it would be, when they went back to pretending like they didn't know each other. How it would be when she went to a dorm without Seifer there. Without his wise-ass comments. Without that ugly rag he used to polish Hyperion laying on the floor by the door all the time. How it would be, when he just wasn't there anymore.
She hated to admit it, even to herself. But she was finally starting to get used to this arrangement.
