The crapathon continues! Huzzah! Ok you know the drill, I don't own Disney's stuff. Ok,
Now, I'd like to get a little off topic here...I'm sorry, that's right, I'm sorry I wrote this fic.
Really, I'm sorry. I am so, so so sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. You will never know
how sorry I am. My favorite board game? Sorry. I am so sorry...Ok I'm done now...sorry.
Rated PG-13 for violence, launguage and drug reference. Just say no to crappy fan fics, kids.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Smoke swirled around the dark room. The only light came from a single bulb that hung from the ceiling.
Loud music and shouting could be heard from the next room. Three young ducks waited anxiously in the
dim area. Two of them, a male and a female, stood around, not sure of what to do with themselves. The
third, a male with short buzzed blond hair, paced back and forth, nervously puffing on a cigarette. His
muddy boots made small scuffing sounds that echoed through out the empty room. He stopped suddenly
and the three of them stared at the forth duck as he made his entrance.
He was obviously not one of them. He wore a smart burgundy blazer over a black shirt and
slacks. His long brown hair was pulled back into a neat pony tail, and dispite the dim lighting, he sported
a pair of designer sun glasses. In his hand he held a black leather brief case. His smile was almost
sinister as he met with the three.
"Good evening. How's the night finding you, my friends?" The young duck stopped inhaling
smoke long enough to stutter a reply.
"Forget the small talk, man. You got the stuff?" The man's smile turned to that of sympathy.
"Of course. We had an appointment after all. Not very professional to show up with out the
merchandise." He slowly opened up the brief case and reached inside. He pulled out a small plastic bag,
full of white powder. He extended the offering to the three. The young duck looked at him for a moment,
unsure. "Go ahead." The man insisted. "It's all yours, a gift from me to you." With that the three of
them fell onto the bag. They were about to exit the room in a hurry when the young duck turned to the
man.
"Hey, what's the catch man? What's your business?" The man just smiled politely.
"No catch, this one's on the house. A free sample. If you want any more, come see me. I'm sure
you'll find my rates, most reasonable."
"How much?" The duck questioned.
"Not a cent." The man smiled. "In fact, it would be an employee benefit." The three starred at
him for a moment. The young girl was hesitant as she asked.
"How do you mean?" The man grinned slyly.
"I'm so glad you asked..."
Raven was up unusually early. It was only 4 PM. But she had work that needed to be done. She
dropped her jacket and helmet off at the foot of the stairs before heading into the kitchen. Morgana was,
of coarse, already up. She was skimming the paper, with an amused look on her face. Raven noticed her
expression and smirked.
"Hey, if you're reading the article about the bank robbery yesterday, I just want you to know that I
meant to run smack into the armed assailant. It was all part of a master plan, and not a streak of dumb
luck that occurred just because I tripped over Launchpad's foot while blinded by purple smoke from one of
Darkwing's dramatic, yet painfully unnecessary, entrances." Morgana looked up from the paper. With a
sarcastic look on her face, she cocked her head to one side and starred at Raven.
"Gee I hadn't seen that article yet." Raven snickered and made her way to the refrigerator. She
pulled out an apple and shut the door.
"Oh, never mind then." Raven took a bite out of the apple and started searching through the
other sections of the paper.
"Careful, that's one of my poisoned ones." Morgana joked before turning back to the paper.
Raven picked up the metro section and rolled her eyes.
"Funny." She was about to sit down at the opposite end of the table when she stopped suddenly
and looked over Morgana's shoulder. She noticed that her friend was reading the personals. "Thinking of
turning Darkwing in for a newer model?" She asked. Morgana looked up, smiling again.
"No, actually I was looking for someone for you." She replied smugly. Raven took another bite
of the apple and sat down, shaking her head.
"Gee, thanks." She muttered through a full mouth. Morgana chuckled and skimmed through the
adds.
"Here you go." She said, trying hard not to laugh. "Obedient slave boy seeks Amazon Queen for
a new master. Must like leather and have good control of a whip. Non smoker preferred. Say Raven, you
like leather! I bet you'd be pretty good with a whip too!" Raven didn't even bother to look up what she
was reading.
"Oh yeah, too bad I just took up smoking a few days ago." Morgana was on the verge of tears.
She could barely open her mouth with out laughing.
"Yeah, that is too bad. Oh wait! Here's a slave boy who doesn't mind smokers. You wouldn't
happen to own a pair of high heeled boots and fish net stalkings, would you?"
"Well I could always borrow yours." Raven quipped, finally looking up from the paper. "Morg,
do you have any idea what kind of freaks send in those ads?" Morgana faked a hurt look.
"Well excuse me for trying to find you someone. I guess your goal in life is to die a lonely
spinster! Well fine! Go right ahead!"
"That's better, thank you." Raven said in a short voice. The two looked at each other and burst
out laughing. It took Morgana a moment to calm down and catch her breath.
"You heading into the office today?"
"Yeah, I got a stack of soft ware that needs to get done. I could have it finished by now, if I had
my computer."
"How long until they get that electrical problem in your apartment building fixed?"
"Who knows. The workers the building owners hire are about as hard working as a dead person.
It could take forever." Raven finished the last of her apple and pitched it into the trash. She stood to go.
Morgana looked at her and frowned.
"You're wearing that into work?" She looked over Raven's usual ensemble of blue jeans, and a T-
shirt, a red flannel was tied around her waist. Raven looked at herself and shrugged.
"What's wrong with this?" Morgana smiled and shook her head, returning to the ads.
"No wonder you're single." Raven shook her head and laughed.
"Tell you what. If you find a man that likes the way I dress, can put up with my attitude, who
doesn't mind the fact that I spend my nights gallivanting around the city with two other guys, and who
isn't pathetic enough to take out an ad in the personals, give him my number!" Raven walked down the
hall, she grabbed her jacket and helmet and opened the door. It was still open as she pulled on her boots,
and she heard Morgana's sarcastic voice call from the kitchen.
"And just where in the world am I supposed to find a man like that!"
Agent Gryzlikoff followed Director J. Gander Hooter into his office. The meeting they had just
come from hadn't been a pleasant one, and it showed. Hooter slumped into his chair and sighed.
"This is awful, just awful."
"We have all available departments working on this case, Director Hooter." Gryzlikoff informed
him. "We will need to come up with detailed plans and of coarse get arrest warrants for several of the
suspects. Most of our agents are working around the clock. I am sure we can uncover enough
information to track down the source of this problem."
"The source of the problem is obviously F.O.W.L." J Gander thought out loud. "But which agent
is responsible? This isn't the area of any of their regular men or women. We'll have to proceed with a
raid to find any contacts."
"Are we department to be handling raid, sir?" Gryzlikoff questioned. "Isn't that the FBI's
responsibility?" J Gander shook his head.
"When it's a problem with F.O.W.L., it's always SHUSH's responsibility." He stood and looked
out a large window behind his desk. "But as this is a desperate situation, we will need some help."
Gryzlikoff flinched. He knew who Hooter had in mind, and it wasn't the FBI.
Gryzlikoff had long since given up on trying to talk Hooter out of allowing Darkwing Duck to get
involved in SHUSH cases. The results that Darkwing got satisfied Director Hooter enough to continue to
ask for the masked crusaders help time and time again. No matter how reckless and dangerous his tactics
were. Gryzlikoff stayed silent as Hooter buzzed the secretary in the next room, and requested that
Darkwing Duck be contacted right away.
Raven yelped and jumped to her feet as the small beeping noise ripped her away from her work
on the computer. Luckily she was the only one in the room. She never had gotten used to the
communicators. She pushed a small button on the tiny monitor on her wrist.
"Now that you've taken an additional 5 years off of my life span, what can I do for you?"
Darkwing's face and voice appeared over the communicator.
"Sorry Rav, I've got a bet going with LP to see how long it takes until we can get you to go gray.
Until then get over to the tower ASAP, we've got a big issue here."
"On my way." Raven ended communication and stared at the computer screen. She quickly
saved her work and headed for the tower. When she got there, Darkwing and Launchpad were reading
through a mess of papers. "What's up?" She asked, looking over the papers.
"Big problem. F.O.W.L. found an easy way to recruit more soldiers." Darkwing Answered
"How?"
"Free narcotics." Darkwing explained. "They offer drugs, free of charge, to any one willing to
work for them." A chill ran up Raven's spine.
"Great, druggies..." She had never liked dealing with any criminals associated with drugs. It
particularly got to her the previous spring when, during a bust, Raven had been charged at with a
hypodermic needle. She had managed to get out of the way in time, but it had been way to close for her.
Darkwing nodded sympathetically.
"There's going to be a bust at a local rat nest tonight. We take prisoners. We gotta find out
who's making the deals."
Raven sighed, but nodded. She picked up a folder and studied it. She suddenly noticed the label
on the papers. They were from SHUSH. Raven had worked with Darkwing on SHUSH missions before.
But she was a shadow. She had never been to a lab, secret facility or the HQ. She helped Darkwing work
from the out side. Raven didn't like organizations. She even had issues about working with police. Rules
and regulations were choking to Raven. They were of no help in split second decisions, which the trio
made constantly. Darkwing tossed the paper's he was reading onto a table.
"Well, it's getting late, we'd better hit the road." He and Launchpad headed down on the Rat
Catcher. Raven took a moment to sling her twin blades over her back, and then followed them out into
the night.
Now, I'd like to get a little off topic here...I'm sorry, that's right, I'm sorry I wrote this fic.
Really, I'm sorry. I am so, so so sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. You will never know
how sorry I am. My favorite board game? Sorry. I am so sorry...Ok I'm done now...sorry.
Rated PG-13 for violence, launguage and drug reference. Just say no to crappy fan fics, kids.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Smoke swirled around the dark room. The only light came from a single bulb that hung from the ceiling.
Loud music and shouting could be heard from the next room. Three young ducks waited anxiously in the
dim area. Two of them, a male and a female, stood around, not sure of what to do with themselves. The
third, a male with short buzzed blond hair, paced back and forth, nervously puffing on a cigarette. His
muddy boots made small scuffing sounds that echoed through out the empty room. He stopped suddenly
and the three of them stared at the forth duck as he made his entrance.
He was obviously not one of them. He wore a smart burgundy blazer over a black shirt and
slacks. His long brown hair was pulled back into a neat pony tail, and dispite the dim lighting, he sported
a pair of designer sun glasses. In his hand he held a black leather brief case. His smile was almost
sinister as he met with the three.
"Good evening. How's the night finding you, my friends?" The young duck stopped inhaling
smoke long enough to stutter a reply.
"Forget the small talk, man. You got the stuff?" The man's smile turned to that of sympathy.
"Of course. We had an appointment after all. Not very professional to show up with out the
merchandise." He slowly opened up the brief case and reached inside. He pulled out a small plastic bag,
full of white powder. He extended the offering to the three. The young duck looked at him for a moment,
unsure. "Go ahead." The man insisted. "It's all yours, a gift from me to you." With that the three of
them fell onto the bag. They were about to exit the room in a hurry when the young duck turned to the
man.
"Hey, what's the catch man? What's your business?" The man just smiled politely.
"No catch, this one's on the house. A free sample. If you want any more, come see me. I'm sure
you'll find my rates, most reasonable."
"How much?" The duck questioned.
"Not a cent." The man smiled. "In fact, it would be an employee benefit." The three starred at
him for a moment. The young girl was hesitant as she asked.
"How do you mean?" The man grinned slyly.
"I'm so glad you asked..."
Raven was up unusually early. It was only 4 PM. But she had work that needed to be done. She
dropped her jacket and helmet off at the foot of the stairs before heading into the kitchen. Morgana was,
of coarse, already up. She was skimming the paper, with an amused look on her face. Raven noticed her
expression and smirked.
"Hey, if you're reading the article about the bank robbery yesterday, I just want you to know that I
meant to run smack into the armed assailant. It was all part of a master plan, and not a streak of dumb
luck that occurred just because I tripped over Launchpad's foot while blinded by purple smoke from one of
Darkwing's dramatic, yet painfully unnecessary, entrances." Morgana looked up from the paper. With a
sarcastic look on her face, she cocked her head to one side and starred at Raven.
"Gee I hadn't seen that article yet." Raven snickered and made her way to the refrigerator. She
pulled out an apple and shut the door.
"Oh, never mind then." Raven took a bite out of the apple and started searching through the
other sections of the paper.
"Careful, that's one of my poisoned ones." Morgana joked before turning back to the paper.
Raven picked up the metro section and rolled her eyes.
"Funny." She was about to sit down at the opposite end of the table when she stopped suddenly
and looked over Morgana's shoulder. She noticed that her friend was reading the personals. "Thinking of
turning Darkwing in for a newer model?" She asked. Morgana looked up, smiling again.
"No, actually I was looking for someone for you." She replied smugly. Raven took another bite
of the apple and sat down, shaking her head.
"Gee, thanks." She muttered through a full mouth. Morgana chuckled and skimmed through the
adds.
"Here you go." She said, trying hard not to laugh. "Obedient slave boy seeks Amazon Queen for
a new master. Must like leather and have good control of a whip. Non smoker preferred. Say Raven, you
like leather! I bet you'd be pretty good with a whip too!" Raven didn't even bother to look up what she
was reading.
"Oh yeah, too bad I just took up smoking a few days ago." Morgana was on the verge of tears.
She could barely open her mouth with out laughing.
"Yeah, that is too bad. Oh wait! Here's a slave boy who doesn't mind smokers. You wouldn't
happen to own a pair of high heeled boots and fish net stalkings, would you?"
"Well I could always borrow yours." Raven quipped, finally looking up from the paper. "Morg,
do you have any idea what kind of freaks send in those ads?" Morgana faked a hurt look.
"Well excuse me for trying to find you someone. I guess your goal in life is to die a lonely
spinster! Well fine! Go right ahead!"
"That's better, thank you." Raven said in a short voice. The two looked at each other and burst
out laughing. It took Morgana a moment to calm down and catch her breath.
"You heading into the office today?"
"Yeah, I got a stack of soft ware that needs to get done. I could have it finished by now, if I had
my computer."
"How long until they get that electrical problem in your apartment building fixed?"
"Who knows. The workers the building owners hire are about as hard working as a dead person.
It could take forever." Raven finished the last of her apple and pitched it into the trash. She stood to go.
Morgana looked at her and frowned.
"You're wearing that into work?" She looked over Raven's usual ensemble of blue jeans, and a T-
shirt, a red flannel was tied around her waist. Raven looked at herself and shrugged.
"What's wrong with this?" Morgana smiled and shook her head, returning to the ads.
"No wonder you're single." Raven shook her head and laughed.
"Tell you what. If you find a man that likes the way I dress, can put up with my attitude, who
doesn't mind the fact that I spend my nights gallivanting around the city with two other guys, and who
isn't pathetic enough to take out an ad in the personals, give him my number!" Raven walked down the
hall, she grabbed her jacket and helmet and opened the door. It was still open as she pulled on her boots,
and she heard Morgana's sarcastic voice call from the kitchen.
"And just where in the world am I supposed to find a man like that!"
Agent Gryzlikoff followed Director J. Gander Hooter into his office. The meeting they had just
come from hadn't been a pleasant one, and it showed. Hooter slumped into his chair and sighed.
"This is awful, just awful."
"We have all available departments working on this case, Director Hooter." Gryzlikoff informed
him. "We will need to come up with detailed plans and of coarse get arrest warrants for several of the
suspects. Most of our agents are working around the clock. I am sure we can uncover enough
information to track down the source of this problem."
"The source of the problem is obviously F.O.W.L." J Gander thought out loud. "But which agent
is responsible? This isn't the area of any of their regular men or women. We'll have to proceed with a
raid to find any contacts."
"Are we department to be handling raid, sir?" Gryzlikoff questioned. "Isn't that the FBI's
responsibility?" J Gander shook his head.
"When it's a problem with F.O.W.L., it's always SHUSH's responsibility." He stood and looked
out a large window behind his desk. "But as this is a desperate situation, we will need some help."
Gryzlikoff flinched. He knew who Hooter had in mind, and it wasn't the FBI.
Gryzlikoff had long since given up on trying to talk Hooter out of allowing Darkwing Duck to get
involved in SHUSH cases. The results that Darkwing got satisfied Director Hooter enough to continue to
ask for the masked crusaders help time and time again. No matter how reckless and dangerous his tactics
were. Gryzlikoff stayed silent as Hooter buzzed the secretary in the next room, and requested that
Darkwing Duck be contacted right away.
Raven yelped and jumped to her feet as the small beeping noise ripped her away from her work
on the computer. Luckily she was the only one in the room. She never had gotten used to the
communicators. She pushed a small button on the tiny monitor on her wrist.
"Now that you've taken an additional 5 years off of my life span, what can I do for you?"
Darkwing's face and voice appeared over the communicator.
"Sorry Rav, I've got a bet going with LP to see how long it takes until we can get you to go gray.
Until then get over to the tower ASAP, we've got a big issue here."
"On my way." Raven ended communication and stared at the computer screen. She quickly
saved her work and headed for the tower. When she got there, Darkwing and Launchpad were reading
through a mess of papers. "What's up?" She asked, looking over the papers.
"Big problem. F.O.W.L. found an easy way to recruit more soldiers." Darkwing Answered
"How?"
"Free narcotics." Darkwing explained. "They offer drugs, free of charge, to any one willing to
work for them." A chill ran up Raven's spine.
"Great, druggies..." She had never liked dealing with any criminals associated with drugs. It
particularly got to her the previous spring when, during a bust, Raven had been charged at with a
hypodermic needle. She had managed to get out of the way in time, but it had been way to close for her.
Darkwing nodded sympathetically.
"There's going to be a bust at a local rat nest tonight. We take prisoners. We gotta find out
who's making the deals."
Raven sighed, but nodded. She picked up a folder and studied it. She suddenly noticed the label
on the papers. They were from SHUSH. Raven had worked with Darkwing on SHUSH missions before.
But she was a shadow. She had never been to a lab, secret facility or the HQ. She helped Darkwing work
from the out side. Raven didn't like organizations. She even had issues about working with police. Rules
and regulations were choking to Raven. They were of no help in split second decisions, which the trio
made constantly. Darkwing tossed the paper's he was reading onto a table.
"Well, it's getting late, we'd better hit the road." He and Launchpad headed down on the Rat
Catcher. Raven took a moment to sling her twin blades over her back, and then followed them out into
the night.
