Chyna: Warrior Princess

Episode XIV: Chyna Lays the Epic Smack Down

Disclaimer: Everybody sitting in the arena at this point belongs to Vince the Barbarian, 'cept Syxx. Coarse Language abounds, but it always does.



In a time of ancient gods, warlords and kings, a land in turmoil cried out for a hero. She was Chyna, a mighty she-male forged in the heat of loko weed. The power, the passion, the danger.her boobies will save the world!!!

As you may remember from our previous episode, Chyna is a pot head with impressive boobies. Nuff said.

Syxx collided with the Warrior Princess with more force than you'd expect from a scrawny little silky boy and they rolled into the dust, Chyna moaning and waving her arms in an attempt to attack. Her forearm limply smashed into Syxx's nose and he shrieked and bounced backwards, landing on his ass with a hefty 'WHUMP!' and snarling nastily. Chyna struggled to her feet and, swaying to one side, reached for her sword and brought it out, raised it above her head and charged; as Syxx rose she gave him such a whack across the back of the head he flew a good 2 feet at least. He hit the ground really hard and this time he looked quite pained and quite like his father after Chyna would flick him in the head for being a weed. Chyna giggled with a smile that was scary, and taking her Chakram, she flung it at his laid out form; it struck him in the forehead and he shrieked as Chyna captured it, strode towards him and flung herself atop of him. They rolled about in the dirt once more and the crowd leapt to their feet, and that's where the trouble started.

***

Hunter flung himself over the barrier, and sprinting towards the combatants, flung himself into the fray. He landed smack bang into the pair of them and they writhed about trying to rip each others heads off. Rock was up like a flash and he too hopped on top of Syxx and began crawl about and attempt his Rocky punches on his stomach, but it really didn't seem to be working as well as he would like. Road Dogg was up and so was Edge, Tori wailed and Taker spat tobacco into Christian's beautiful hair, Christian began to sob and fell over the barricade. Jericho's head appeared from the crowd and he pounced on Chyna, as did Big Vis who glided in gracefully, for it was a very pretty moo moo he was clad in that day. Mideon ran through naked, Bradshaw and Farooq's game on ancient black jack was interrupted, and Kane decided to attack his brother. The Hardy Boyz back flipped off the roof, as they had slipped up there while Chyna was spouting off about her boobies, and smacked into the nasty Jericho, and there was much hair pulling that followed. It was more entertaining than the Olympic Riot!!!!

***

Chyna took grip of Hunter and gave his head a mighty good shaking, and she could help but laugh at his head bobbing up and down all over the place. He looked like D'Lo Brown! She began to sing the age old tune of 'Frocky Boy' as she stuck his head down the two enormous reminders she was corrupting the ancient world and gave his face a good mashing. His muffled cries sounded from her cleavage and she pushed him to the ground, and, smiling sweetly, drove her leather clad foot into his unprepared balls. He squealed like a girl and curled up into a ball whimpering; oh how could he forgot what that felt like?!

Chyna then turned her attentions back to Syxx, who was systematically flinging all who attacked him very far away. She watched with wide eyes as Billy Gunn flew over her head to the right, and Christian to the left, the Road Dogg to the right, and Edge to the left, then Stone Cold to the right.it was quite a mesmerizing sight. She found herself being really distracted by all the big strong men flying above her, and suddenly, she felt Nirvana. She sighed and began walking around in rhythmic circles in her harmony, and opening her eyes, was greeted with a vision. A vision of her death.a vision of her crucifixion! And then, as quickly as the vision was there.it was gone. Snapping out of her stoned and drunken stupor through the will of destiny, she withdrew her sword and charged the evil spawn of Tori, he turned and their swords clashed. She snarled, he snarled, they both snarled and they battled it out fiercely. Chyna cried out her war cry and kicked him in the face, and they fought through the rioting crowd as they were splattered with the beer and turnips, gods lovely turnip mashed, and into the Parthenon they battled. Chyna audibly gasped at what she saw.

***

Taker had pretty much neutralized all of the fools who were trying their damnedest to hurt him, and turning his attentions back to Kane, he smirked at his brother.

"Join me brother!" He cried triumphantly. Kane looked at him, and feeling rather Chyna-ish, blasted Taker's demonic balls with a low blow that had less dexterity than the Warrior Princess ever had. Taker moaned like a sow on heat and fell to his knees, and then, the mighty Aysa pounced and caught Taker in her artful thigh clutch to the head, smacking him in the nose with little shrieks. Taker flung the Warrior Queen off, looked at Kane, figured the woman meant something to him.and threw her straight off the cliff. Kane screamed the most tortured, pissed off, mortally wounded banshee cry you have ever heard in your life and pounced at his nasty brother, but Taker had picked up a huge rock and unfortunately, Kane ran straight into it. He rolled to the ground unconscious. Taker cackled as Syxx emerged with a demonic look on his features and he loped towards the Lord of Darkness with a grin.

"My lord! My lord! Chyna is dead!"

"Exxxxxxxcellent.."

Taker turned to embrace Tori, and Syxx, seizing the opportunity of a turned back, pulled out Chyna's Chakram and with his first attempt of flinging it, implanted it in Taker's back. Taker roared a very pissed off roar and turned, he searched blindly for he whom had betrayed him, he saw Syxx staggering from the Parthenon.and lifting an 'over sized' toothpick he flung it and impaled the evil Spawn. Syxx shrieked and ran around in three small circles before dropping dead, Tori wailed very very loudly at the loss of her son, and Taker cackled slightly knowing he had killed the little murderer. As he laid down and prepared to die.AGAIN.he looked up, and he saw Syxx looking down upon him.hopping up and down doing X-Chops festively.and felt seriously screwed. He would have said something insulting, but he dropped dead.

***

Chyna stepped out of the Parthenon, and gave X-Pac a pat on the back. He blushed slightly as he was given the opportunity to get up close and personal with Chyna's corruptive boobies. Kitty rushed up to them with surprise on her face; looking X-Pac up and down with her mouth and her eyes opened wide, she finally managed to speak;

"X-Pac?! But.how!?"

"They were gonna use me in their plot! They had plans man, real nasty ones, they were gonna use me to lure Kane into their clutches! But like the Fates said, I was destined to save the world, and I've saved it! I've saved it! Who's pathetic now, huh?"

"Fine, fine." Chyna sighed, flicking him in the forehead. He winced and ducked for cover from the fierce woman, when suddenly some incoherent mumbling forced them all to look behind.there was Hunter lamely struggling to his feet.

"Aw shit." Chyna muttered. "I forgot about him."

Kitty thought for a moment.then she pulled Chyna over and whispered something in her ear. Chyna looked quite interested.she turned and smiled at HHH sweetly.

"Hunter." She sighed, pulling him up by the hair. "Seeming my esteemed colleague Miss Kitty is not sadistic by nature, I'm going to let you live." Hunter's pathetic cowering immediately ceased when he heard the words.

"What?!"

"You heard me." She dropped him again and he fell flat on his face. "But.there is one teeny weeny little detail." She did not wait for his response; she turned to gaze at him and her sweet smile was becoming so sweet it was becoming scary. "You see, My pony is becoming really quite decrepit in it's old age, and you seem to have a good strong back, so.Shawwwwwwwn." Her smile was now terrifying, Shawn Michaels appeared in a puff of smoke, and Hunter was looking for somewhere to run.

***

Chyna had never really enjoyed kicking a horse as much as she enjoyed kicking this one, as Kitty skipped merrily by her side scribbling the finishing touches onto the mighty tale of Syxx. Kane carried poor old Aysa in his arms, as quite amazingly she was not killed by the fall, (Numbed by swill.) but quite unamazingly was still in a drunken stupor. X-Pac was happy to be back with his D-Generate buddies once more, and as for Rocky.

Can you say 'spin off?'

Yup, all good, for she was Chyna: Warrior Princess.

And her courage certainly did change the world!!!

The End