Harry Potter and the Kid and the Tiger
Chapter Nineteen-The Grounding String


Disclaimer: All right C&H belong to Watterson and United Press Syndicate, HP to JK Rowling, and WB, etc. This is one of my favorite chapters here. Forgive me for moving so quickly through the months in this, maybe I'll write one more chapter after Ch. 21. Ty for all the great reviews. God bless indeed!

Ron groaned, "Oh man. Harry, this is absolutely impossible!"

Harry grinned, "Come off it Weasel," he joked, "I highly doubt that Snape would give us a Potions review that was impossible. That's only his tests."

Hermione smiled, and Harry was glad he was sitting down, but his knees would have given away had he stood up.

"This isn't that bad Ron," Hermione said, "I mean after all, this review is only three scrolls of parchment long, I already finished."

Ron sent Hermione a death glare, "Sod off Herm. Go snog Potter over there or something."

Hermione blushed, and Harry grinned but could feel his face burn to,

"What about you and Cho, Ron? Have you told her about your element-hand?"

Ron shook his head, "I almost did on the Diagon Alley trip, but then Calvin and Hobbes dragged me into Gambol and Japes. It's hard to believe that Hobbes is a teacher."

"Ron!" Hermione was shocked, "That was a month ago! You could have found some time to tell her!"

Harry's mouth somehow formed into a wider grin then the one he'd been wearing, "I think he's the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher we've ever had. Too bad Malfoy got cleared on Imperious after Vertiaserum, or else life'd be perfect."

"I agree," Hermione nodded, "Gambol and Japes is the wizarding joke shop right?"


Ron nodded, "They've got this new thing called Dungibuster's Fireworks. They're Filibusters that let off a Dungbomb scent at the same time. Calvin borrowed Harry's Marauder's Map a month ago and set them in the entrances to the different House common rooms. Let's just say it wasn't pretty."

Harry and Hermione sniggered and Harry finished the last question on the review, the answer was 'Mandrakes'.


"You finished yet Ronnikins?" Harry teased.

Ron rolled his eyes, "Yeah, that's right, Harry. I've still got forty-six questions left. I know I'm going to fail."

"Well then," came the voice of Calvin Arrow from behind them, "Maybe I can be of assistance."


They all turned around, in his hand Calvin held a caulender with three strings attached to it. The strings were connected to an upside-down box entitled "Atomic Cerebral Enhance-O-Tron".

"What the..." Hermione's jaw dropped open.

"D'you reckon it works?" Ron asked, his voice full of hope.

Calvin nodded.

"Well then," Ron got up bursting with excitement, "Let me use it! The test is in three hours!"

Calvin nodded again, "First off you need to know a few things. One, this only works for four hours. Two, your head swells as a result of cerebral enhancement. Three, first let me show you how it works."

Ron nodded enthusiastically, and Harry and Hermione got up to look at it.

Calvin began speaking pointing to various objects, "Cerebral Enhancement Charms are particularly difficult to perform, although they do not need a wand.

"One the Thinking Cap," Calvin held up the caulender, "Must have the input and output strings attached for the charm to flow through. The third string is called the grounding string, and is vital to the enhancement. The grounding string keeps your ideas based in reality.

"Secondly, I'll press the button and say the magic word Click, you must say Brzap immediately. Got everything?"

Ron quickly nodded, and yanked the Thinking Cap out of Calvin's hands, "Oy, be careful," Calvin said, "If you break any strings, things can get really screwy."

Ron slipped the Cap on his head carefully and moved to his right. Unbeknownst to everyone, at this point, Ron accidentally pulled out the grounding string.


"All right," Calvin said, he had now attracted a fair amount of people in the common room who had come down to study before breakfast,

"Here goes," Calvin walked around the Atomic Cerebral Enhance-O-Tron and pressed a button on the top, "Click."

Immediately, Ron answered back "Brzap."

"Well," Harry said eagerly, "How do you feel?"

Ron shrugged and pulled off his cap, and like Calvin had said his head was all swollen, "Hjak youi wegd uiodpjloi fizz pollue."

Everyone in the common room's eyes went as large as dinner plates.

Harry leaned over to Hermione, "Please tell me that's Ancient Runes."

Sadly, Hermione shook her head, "'Fraid not."

Calvin asked Ron a simple question, "What is your name?"

"Sevarah Snafu," Ron answered back as though that were true.

Everyone laughed except Calvin, who looked at the place were the wires were attached on the Enhance-O-Tron. "Oh crap."

Harry and Hermione rushed over, "What's wrong."

In reply, Calvin pointed were the grounding string should have been.

"Oh no," Hermione whispered.


"Oh yes," Calvin answered, "He broke the grounding string."

Meanwhile, Ron had swiped quills and parchment from people and while gurgling nonsense began a fairly good sketch of something only he could understand. Harry, Hermione, and Calvin rushed over. Ron pointed at various spots of the room with his thumb and pinky finger, and scribbled excitedly a drawing of something Harry had never seen before. Hermione knitted her brow, Harry couldn't imagine that she was trying to make sense of what Ron was writing.


Calvin cocked his head to one side, "It's familiar but he's way out of reality. So it's really as clear as mud."


Ron turned around and pointed at a spot on the parchment and grinned, "Xye utyher welconii. Dyii freener uluis. Freener uluis!"

Harry shrugged, "What is it Ron?"

Ron scowled, as though that were obvious, "Freener uluis!"

Hermione pulled out a quill and began jotting down some of Ron's words. Calvin shook his head, "Don't even bother Hermione. He's talking gibberish, there's no way we can understand him. Somehow though, I think he sorta understands us."

Ron rolled his eyes and went back to the paper muttering, "Ku bitus ioni," under his breath.

Harry looked over at Ron and grinned at his swollen head, "Calvin, is there anyway to reverse the effects."

Sadly, Calvin shook his head, "Nope. It's not really a known charm, I created it when I was six, but never bothered to find a reversal. I mean it wears off pretty quick."

Hermione nervously ran a hand through her brown hair, Harry remembered when they were younger and her hair was all bushy. He grinned, and wondered again if he loved her. How would he tell her if he did? Would she love him back, rather would she even accept it?

"But Calvin," Hermione said, "Snape'll skin us alive if he walks in like that, and talking in...whatever language that it is saying he's some Snafu guy."

Calvin sighed, "What d'you want me to do Hermi? I can't fix it." He pursed his lips in thought, "We could always take him down to Madam Pomfrey."

Hermione paled, "Are you kidding? Can you imagine the trouble we'll get into? Ron was trying to cheat, and you helped him!"

Harry put his hand on Hermione's shoulder, "'Mione, it's either go to Pomfrey and take the fall for cheating, or brave Snape."

Hermione furrowed her brow in deep thought, Harry could almost see the gears turning in her head. She was so smart! So beautiful! Oh, he wanted to kiss her!

"Would Snape notice the swelled head?" Hermione broke through Harry's thoughts.

Harry grinned, "We'll tell him Ron's wand backfired, give him something to laugh about."


Hermione pondered this and answered, "Won't he get a zero on the test?"

Calvin grinned and yanked a quill out of his pocket, "This looks like a rather innocuous Sugar Quill, but..." Calvin's smile got wider, "I meant for myself to use this, but I happened to get the Potions answers from Hobbes..."


Hermione looked at Calvin with shock, "A teacher helped you cheat?"
Calvin kept smiling, "Hobbes was in Gryffindor and knew the Marauders. He knows what a," Calvin said something that made Harry and Hermione grin, "Snape is and...er...accidentally dropped the answers. This quill has all of the answers stored in it. Put it in Ron's hand and instant one hundred. The quill will write for him, and under just about every Anti-Cheating Spell in Hogwarts won't pick it up."

Harry was impressed, now it was easy to see that Calvin Shawton Arrow was Dumbledore's great-grandson.

"Are you sure it will work," Hermione asked doubtfully.

"Sure, I'm sure," Calvin answered easily.

"Well, then," Hermione grinned, "Let's do it!"

Two and a half hours later, Ron, was gradually transferring back to English from Ronlish or whatever he had been speaking, occasionally talking about fourth and seventh dimensional time-prows. Calvin commented that the cerebral enhancement was slowly dissipated.
Ron also had some trouble walking, Calvin was trying to steady him, while Hermione used a few Steadying Enchantments to keep his walking nearly normal.


"Why is he walking like that?" Harry asked Calvin as they walked down the stairs, jumping and skipping the appropriate steps to the dungeon.

Calvin shrugged, "I've never broken the grounding string before. My guess is that he's in another reality, and in that reality Ron is walking normally."

Ron blabbered on, as though Calvin and Harry were not there, "Hyish reichtu well, you see, the uilo trigonometry is unified by g to the hth power multiplicatived by the Weakness Potion, hyish tryeon jklovich."

Hermione grinned, and Harry rolled his eyes, "Whatever you say, Ron."

Still chatting away about unifying multiplicatived potions, Calvin and Harry steered Ron to his desk. Calvin set the quill on Ron's desk and Harry sat down in a seat by Hermione. He leaned over, "Sort've funny seeing desks in Potions class."

Hermione grinned and whispered back, "Let's hope this works."

"Twenty-five points from Gryffindor for whispering during class," Snape said coolly, "I suggest that you two keep your love life to each other."

The Slytherins laughed while Harry and Hermione each turned a spectacular shade of crimson. He was redder then the Weasley sweater that Harry had gotten for Christmas.

Luckily, Snape eventually passed out the tests to the students and Harry began. He looked at the first question, 1. How do you make a Polyjuice Potion? Harry's eyebrows raised in wonderment. They never had even talked about Polyjuice Potions in class. Actually only one book in the school had anything about it. That was Moste Potente Potions an old book in the Restricted Section of the library. Naturally, Harry knew how to create it. Hermione, Ron, and himself had made it in second year in the out of order girls' toilet haunted by Moaning Myrtle, a ghost.

The rest of the questions were just as ridiculous, most of them were only in Restricted books, and others were just bizarre. One had nothing to do with Potions, 106. How do you happen to kill a snow goon? Harry had no idea what a snow goon was.

After the test, Snape took all of the tests and easily corrected them in front of the class with a Grading Spell.

"Hmmm, Miss Brown, zero percent. Miss Patil, ahh point seven-five percent. Miss Granger-MISS GRANGER!" Snape bellowed the last in front of the entire class, "DID YOU CHEAT ON THIS EXAMINATION?"

Hermione shook her head and smiled pleasantly. Snape who had obviously hoped for a fight continued, "Miss Granger...fifty-eight percent. Miss Grey...zero. Miss Trumanson...one and a half percent. Mr. Finnigan...zero. Mr. Potter...twenty-six. Mr. Arrow thirty-two...Mr. Thomas...zero. MR. WEASLEY! YOU MUST HAVE CHEATED!"
Ron looked up at Snape in puzzlement, "Chawyed?"

Snape looked at Ron's paper, then back at Ron, "Let me see your quill Weasley!"

Ron grinned and tossed the quill to Snape who caught it, a scowl very clear on his face. Shifting the tests under one arm, Snape did several Anti-Cheating Spells with his wand, finally giving up, "Mr. Weasley...one hundred percent." Gasps rose from every throat save Calvin, Harry, Hermione, and Ron.

Snape continued on, the hatred in his voice evident, "Miss Bulstrode, seventy-six, Miss Parkinson, eighty-two, Mr. Malfoy, ninty-three..." and so on, as the lowest Slytherin grade was a seventy percent. All of the Slytherins wore particularly smug smiles. To avoid the temptation to wipe the smiles off the Slytherin faces themselves, Harry, Hermione, and Calvin helped Ron out of the classroom.

Slowly, Ron was beginning to become coherent, but he'd occasionally slip back into his own reality, and speak his own language.

Ron was, however, able to walk with only Calvin steadying him now, so Harry was free to slip his arm around Hermione. How blind had Harry been not to notice Hermione before. Sure, she had only recently bloomed, but she had always been smart, funny, and cute. Harry remembered on the night of the Yule Ball last year she had been drop-dead gorgeous.


"I can't believe that guy," Calvin was complaining as they walked aimlessly down the halls. "There is no way that Millicent Bulstrode got a seventy-six percent on that test! It's impossible!"

Hermione chuckled, "Get used to it Calvin. Don't worry about your thirty-two percent wrecking your grade, Dumbledore and McGonagall won't let him fail you."

Calvin hollowly laughed, and prevented Ron from smashing into a suit of armor, "I'm not worried. That's the highest grade in Potions I've gotten this term."


Harry, Hermione, and even Ron who was slowly returning to the real world sniggered.

"Anyway Calvin," Harry spoke up, "How much longer until Ron gets out of his own personal little world"

Calvin shrugged, "About twenty minutes or so I'd say. Why?"
Harry noticed that the corridor they were in was the one with entrance to the kitchens, "Well, why don't we stop and grab some food. We don't have Transfiguration today, McGonagall's taken ill. I'm more then willing to bet that she's on another mission."


Hermione grinned, "Why not? I'll get a chance to chat with the house-elves and see how their enjoying earning money."

Very distinctly Ron rolled his eyes, "Exytsh right, Hermi."

Hermione glared at him, and Harry walked over to the beautiful portrait of the bowl of fruit and tickled the pear. After it giggled and squirmed for awhile, the portrait opened and they all walked in.

"Harry Potter, sirs! Hermione Granger, sirs! Ronald Weasley sirs! Calvin Arrow sirs!" Dobby squeaked as they walked in.

"Hey there Dobby," Harry answered, waving at the little elf who nearly toppled over with joy.

"You just in time sirs to see the match!" Dobby trilled at the top of his voice.

"Match?" Hermione looked positively horrified, "You aren't going to-fight are you?"

Dobby shook his head quickly, "No Hermione Granger, no. And let me thank you for your kind wages you worked so we were given," at the this a few house-elves backed away from Dobby, "It is rather a match between two ghost on their flying abilities, sirs."

Ron raised his eyebrows in interest, "Well iopyu, we can't uisylt thiuth, lead on Dobby."

Hermione shook her head and Harry distinctly heard her mutter, "Oh honestly!" under her breath.

Harry was about to ask her what was wrong when a broom, ridden by none other then Protectorate ghost Viktor Krum zoomed low of their heads, scattering them. Harry quickly got to his feet and helped Hermione and Calvin up. Ron meanwhile apparently hadn't noticed the broom go by, Harry wryly wondered if living in your own reality might be better for your sanity.

"VEEEEEE-HAW!" Krum's ghost wailed as he did a loop-the-loop on the broom and circled back. Several of the house-elves applauded, and Krum hopped off his broom and held all, all while floating in mid-air.

"Zhank you, kind elves. Ahhh Herm-own-ninny," Krum smiled as he saw Hermione who shuddered slightly. Harry wonder how in the world Viktor could have cheated on her, "Harry! And Ron! How zave you been lately?"


Hermione forced a smile, "Quite well, Viktor, and you?"

"Just whipping some my spirited competition at zay little flying," he roared with laughter at his joke. Harry, Hermione, and Ron were dumbstruck while Calvin laughed along. The Viktor Krum they knew hardly ever cracked a smile, let alone told jokes, "Ze Bloody Baron challenged me to some trick-flyin, and zai decided to show hime voues boss!"


With those words, another ghost on a broomstick launched into a complicated maneuver, misjudged and crashed right into the wall. While he obviously wasn't hurt, after all what could hurt a ghost? The Bloody Baron's pride must have been because he floated out of the kitchen without a huff.


"Excellent flying Krum," Ron said and he moseyed over to Viktor. Calvin grinned, and Harry and Hermione did likewise. Obviously, Ron had gotten over his loss of reality.

"Za Ron! How 'ave you been lately, has everyzink been okay?"

Ron nodded, "Definitely, how about you?"

"Vell, all has been well. It's actually fun being dead! Although I never would trade life zor death, I find that my, er per-soon-litey has changed, zerhaps for ze better."

They all nodded, "Oh, would eet be too much if I 'ave a personal word with Harry?"

Hermione, Calvin, and Ron looked at each other and shrugged.

"All right," Calvin answered.

So Harry walked over a corner of the kitchen with Krum who looked at him a for a few seconds. Then, pointing at a tray of glazed doughnuts, Krum asked if Harry wanted one because after all the house-elves wouldn't mind. Harry nodded and bit into one.

Krum sighed, "Oh, how could I 'ave been so stupid as to lose Herm-own-ninny..."

Harry felt his blood boil, now after he was dead, Vicky was regrettable about cheating on Hermione, well Harry wasn't going to fall for this.

"Say her name right you git! It's Her-my-oh-knee! And don't give me this kind of junk, I know that you kissed another gril! So just shut up! You're dead for cripe's sakes!"


Viktor's ghost looked taken aback, "Vell, yes, so I did. I suppose I did not realize what I had. Hannah zeemed so beautiful, and well. Zit was an accident."


"To take one of Hermione's favorite sayings," Harry retorted, "Oh honestly! It's not an accident when you kiss someone!"

Again Krum looked guilty, "Yes, I know. But vhat are you vorried about Harry? I can't move in on you, I mean, I highly doubt vhat Hermy-knee vould go out vith a dead person."

Harry sighed, "What is it that you wanted to talk to me about anyway,"

Krum nodded, "Don't take her for granted Harry. She's rare and you could all her an en-dandruff species," Harry stifled the urge to correct Viktor, "Cherish her Harry, I didn't, and I want you too, all vight?"


Harry now felt guilty about yelling at him, but he looked Krum in his ghostly eye, "I will, I mean, I think I love her. And I'm sorry for yelling my head off earlier."

Viktor Krum gave a ghost of a smile, "No problem Harry, ve all get carried away. Besides zhat, I deserved it."

Harry put the rest of his doughnut in his mouth and chewed on it, and then turned around and walked back to his friends.

"Was anything wrong?" Hermione asked urgently as they walked out the exit and into the hallway.

Harry took Hermione's hand into his and smiled. Nothing could be wrong when I'm with you, he thought, but answered differently, "No, we just talked."


"What about?" Ron asked who had been in the middle of telling Calvin exactly what it was like to have your own personal reality ("It was really cool, all the bright colors, and people wearing Muggle clothes and talking to me. Yet somehow I could see and hear you guys, but I guess I could only respond in my reality's language.")

"Hermione," Harry answered crisply. Hermione squeezed his hand and gave him a grin. Harry felt his knees go week and his stomach suddenly felt very, very empty. He leaned in and gave her a kiss. If there was one thing that Harry could do all day, it was kiss Hermione on the lips. Eventually, however, they had to break the kiss, not least because Calvin and Ron were humming "Here Comes The Bride".

Calvin grinned devilishly, "'Hermione Potter', you know that wouldn't that bad of a name Herms."


Hermione scowled at Calvin, "Come on, we're fifteen years old, I highly doubt I'm going to run off and elope with Harry."

"Why not?" Harry joked, while looking ashen-faced, "We can just fly our brooms over to America, land in Las Vegas and get married at a drive-thru chapel!"

Calvin and Ron doubled over with laughter.

"Yeah," Ron wheezed, "First path to a successful marriage, get married by Yankees off in Lost Vegan."

"Las Vegas," Harry sighed.

Calvin, meanwhile, feigned offense, "Hey! I'm a Yankee!"

"Really?" Hobbes' voice boomed as he turned around the corner at looked at the four with a bemused glance, "I always thought you liked Detroit. You know, the Tigers."

Ron was bewildered, "You mean Muggle Detroit is run by tigers?"

There was loud thwack sound, as simultaneously, Harry, Hermione, Calvin, and Hobbes slapped their foreheads.

"Anyway," Hobbes said, "Dumbledore needs to see you guys immediately."

"What is it?" Hermione asked, with alarm visible in her eyes.

Hobbes shrugged, "I don't know, he's got some old guy in there, a women, and some other people. I think it's a major meeting of the Underground."


Ron's eyebrows raised, "But I have a date with Cho tonight!"

Everyone in the corridor turned around and yelled out, "RON!"

Ron quickly backed off, "Sorry, sorry, it's just Cho's well," Ron got a dreamy far away look in his eyes, "Well, she's Cho."

Harry rolled his eyes, "So eloquently put Ronniekins."

Ron quickly snapped back to attention, "Don't call me that."

Calvin nodded, "OK, Ronniekins, let's go."

Hermione grinned, and they walked off, blissfully unaware of the dangers prepared for them.