Jason and Andre were very excited about tomorrow. They began preparing for their first day of 7th grade. They laid out their coolest new clothes for tomorrow. Jason was going to wear some emo clothes. He had laid out a sweater vest, and some high waters. Andre had laid out his sparkly new tennis body suit.
Jason had washed his hair 3 days ago. Now it was nice and calm. Andre shaved his head one more time before going to sleep. He didn't want one speck of hair to show up.

*****

D'Arcy and David exited Wal-Mart. The 2 girls (I mean the girl and boy) went home and got ready for the first day of school. D'Arcy was going to wear her big black dress, which was ugly. David was going to wear a velveteen body suit. They were all psyched up about being big bad 7th graders. Here we go!

*****

As Brandon was leaving the mall, he saw Jimmy. He was wearing the same shirt that Brandon had just bought! This would not do. He walked over to Jimmy coolly. This had to be stopped. He said, "That's my shirt." And Jimmy punched him right in the face. Everyone in the mall yelled, "FIGHT! FIGHT!"
Isn't this suspenseful?

*****

Kurt and Jesse were very happy being close best friends. They just didn't understand what was wrong with being happy. Everyone had the right to be happy. (But he wondered why no cows ever came near his house. It must have been the smell.) Jesse and Kurt prettied up their hair for tomorrow. They were very excited. They tied the hair in ribbons. Yippee!

*****

On his way home from nerd camp, John saw Billy. Billy growled at him. John yelped. Then Billy bit his ear off. Poor John could not hear anything. He needed to go to the ear doctor and get a new hearing aid. He put it on his list of things to do before tomorrow. Billy thought John's ear tasted delightful. It was such a treat. Some say Billy was a cannibal. Ewww!! I hope not.

*****

Boyfriend and Dave came up with this list of cool things in the 7th grade. 1) Pretty hair. 2) No more kisses from mom at the bus stop. 3) Good shoes. 4) Shiny lips. And that's the list. They were exactly right. These were the coolest trends in the 7th grade.
This would be a good year. Boyfriend and Dave were going to be trendy this year. For the first time.

*****

Chris and Cory made their list of cool things in the 7th grade. 1) Trendy clothes. 2) Fat. 3) A few special pimples. 4) Shiny hair. That's all. Like I said, they were sadly mistaken. The boys would be ignored this year. Again.

*****

Lisa knew what Kyla was up to. She did the same thing last year. She had tried to peek in Lisa's window. But she had been caught. So this year, Lisa laid out some really ugly clothes where Kyla would be able to see them from the window. But she wasn't really going to wear them. It was a trick.
It worked. Kyla came and peeked in Lisa's window. She took a picture with her tiny spy camera. Then she went home and replicated the outfit. Silly kid.

*****

James and Mick kept practicing with their bands. They got better each day. James' band was called The Dirty Sock. Mick's band was called Egghead. They were stupid names. James' band played rock and roll. Mick's band played country music. Even though Mick was British, he had a country twang. Some said it was fake. But you know better, right? As the days before the beginning of 7th grade became shorter, the time passed.
And the hair grew.

*****

Tony spent the night at Landon's house. As they lay on their Gummy Bear sleeping bags, one question lingered in both of their minds. Actually two. 1) What vegetable would be lobbed at them tomorrow? And 2) Would they be able to take it, or would they fall down and cry?
As these questions ran across their minds, Landon's mom gave them goodnight kisses and wished them good dreams.

*****

"Wolfie?" Mike asked Wolfgang. "Do you think we'll be popular this year?" Wolfgang laughed. "Of course. We always are. As long as you stop calling your teachers mommy." This made Mike sad. He had a very bad habit of calling his teachers mommy.
"Don't cry Mike. Just think before you speak," Wolfie exploded. "Thanks Wolfie. You're a great friend," Mike exclaimed as he hugged his new best friend.

*****

After the sad mishap with URANUS, Jimmy and Adam were pretty depressed. But Adam's mom knew just what they needed. She went inside and made some Witch cookies from her secret recipe. They were a delicious treat. Then Mrs. Sandler gave the boys a long talk. It went like this. "Boys, I'm really sorry about the problem with URANUS. But you'll heal. You'll get over it. It was just a silly game. Tomorrow you'll be big 7th graders. You won't need a silly rocket ship."
After the boys had had a nice cry, they went inside to play pong.

*****

Russell made a great discovery. Because Charlie was retarded, he had to ride the short school bus. The short school bus came 5 minutes earlier. Russell was so happy, that he gave Charlie a big hug and said, "I'm so glad you're retarded." This made Charlie cry. He said, "I'm not retarded. I'm special."
Russell's mom was mad at him for telling Charlie he was retarded. He didn't have a clue. She gave him a spanking.

*****

Gwen and Donny were in love. Julia couldn't believe it. Her own back up dancer and best friend. They had betrayed her and left her out. Julia decided they could perform at the talent show alone together. She would stay out of it. Julia was very outraged. She was the only one allowed to dance with Donny.

*****

Brian was very upset about being the center of attention at the talent show. He didn't like being in the spotlight. Owen tried to comfort him. "But you sing so pretty. Without you, Crispy Bar would just be me and a tambourine. I need the bass and your beautiful voice." Brian was very emotional at this time. He wept openly on Owen's shoulder.
Everything was going to be all right.

*****

Becky Stone cried and cried the night before the first day of school. Everyone would make fun of her. She was such a loser. And she was old enough to drop out. She decided she would drop out of school. She would go live in a cave where she could eat small children that wandered in. GOODBYE BECKY STONE!!!!!