Chapter 3
I got something to say you know but nothing comes
Yes I know what you think of me
You never shut up
– Tori Amos, "Silent All These Years"
Caysil City was a small, relatively quiet place, a remnant of Trillian's merchant days of centuries past, when graceful windships made their way in and out of port and took refuge in the calm waters of the bay. A few of those ships still made their runs out to sea, through the narrow inlet and over the vast Southern Ocean, but theirs were far more enjoyable quests now that intercontinental trade was made all but obsolete by replicators and transporters.
Now, Caysil's bustling atmosphere attracted tourists from across the globe and from distant worlds. Old-fashioned, plentiful markets were held on fine mornings in the mosaic-paved squares, ships sailed across the bay to the amphitheaters and performance halls of the Arts District each night, and the famous beaches never failed to provide alluring vacation spots. Trillian was already noted for its oceans, their heavy mineral concentration causing the water to reflect a blue so deep it was closer to indigo; here, the bone-white sand of the coast made the bay shimmer in thousands of amethyst colors.
It gleamed so brightly beneath the morning sun that Julian had to squint against the glare. But he wasn't about to retreat into the gloomy indoors of the hotel; he stood out on the balcony of their room with the hot sunlight and cool ocean breeze on his face and let his eyes sting all they liked.
"Unbelievable," he murmured.
Walking out to join him, Ezri smiled at his reaction. "Quite a view, isn't it?"
"You could say that," he replied, a little breathless. "It's funny – I never thought I'd like a sea that color."
"Well, Caysil's the only place in the Alpha Quadrant that can get away with it," Dax said, as if that was a good explanation for a lot of things around here. "The water's warm, too, almost hot in some places. There are a few therapy spas down there, along the coast," and she lifted her arm to point across the beautiful city that spread before them, to some low buildings tucked among groves of flowering trees that had just reached full spring bloom. "We could go visit one of them later, if you like."
Julian glanced idly in that direction. "It's a possibility. We certainly have plenty of time to look around." He turned to look at Ezri, enjoying the way the wind tousled her hair over her eyes. "I still can't believe you got a spot here on such short notice."
"Oh...." She turned to look back at the old, elegant hotel behind them and blushed slightly. "It's off-season for tourism, of course. And... well, I guess my reputation precedes me."
Which was a half-hearted attempt to joke about the fact that her Joined status almost guaranteed her a spot among Trillian's upper class, and consequently put her name on the VIP list. Julian had overheard her at the front desk, making it absolutely clear that she didn't want anyone giving up their room to grant her a spot. She needn't have worried, the attendant had told her; there was plenty of vacancy and would be for another month. And still, Ezri had checked and then double-checked before reluctantly accepting one of the beach-view suites. Inwardly, Julian kicked himself; he should have known to avoid that topic.
She gazed out over this particular view of Trillian, her expression pensive. Then she turned and walked back inside. Julian followed her into the living area. With generically pretty art prints on the walls and plants set in poetic corners, the room looked airy and comfortable. Ezri stopped in the middle of the carpeted floor, crossing her arms in front of her.
"I guess we should unpack," she said absently.
Julian shrugged. "No hurry." Walking up behind her, he laid a hand on her back. A muscle there felt stiff; out of habit, he pressed his fingers against the tension. She tipped her head in response, and he massaged along the curve of her shoulder.
Ezri sighed lightly. "You enjoy this, don't you?"
"Me? Oh, no. I'm doing this for physical therapy. Strictly professional." He leaned down to kiss the nape of her neck. "You look tired."
"Maybe a little," she said. "It was a long trip."
"Will you have time to rest before we head to the capitol?"
She snorted. "I've contacted the Commission to tell them of our arrival. If my first meeting isn't scheduled bright and early tomorrow morning, it'll be the morning after that." Turning slightly, she gazed up at him. "These sessions will take a long time, and they won't let you sit in on them. You don't have to beam over if you don't want to."
"I do want to," Julian said softly. He stopped massaging and wrapped his arms around her.
Ezri leaned into him, but she didn't relax; he could feel her holding herself in. After a silent moment, she shifted restlessly. He released her, and she paced across the room.
"I think I might take a short walk to stretch my legs a little," she said, rubbing her arms. The tone of her voice was not an invitation.
"Sure." Julian listened to his own voice and decided it was casual enough. Grabbing their luggage, he walked toward the bedroom. "I guess I could use a shower while you're gone."
"Yeah," she said quickly. "Look, Julian... wait a second."
He turned around. The affection in Ezri's face was a little awkward, but only a little. She pulled the bags away from him and set them down, then reached out and hugged him tightly. "Sorry for being bad company at the moment. I'll be in a better mood by the time I get back."
"Don't worry about it," he said. "I understand."
Ezri tilted her head back to smile at him. "And I promise I'll make it up to you later."
"Now, I will hold you to that," he teased. "But take your time. Contrary to popular opinion, I can function when you're not in the room."
"That's good to know." She kissed him tenderly, then slipped from his arms. "I'll be back soon."
*****
The air was soft. It was the most vivid memory Ezri had about this place -- the wind of Caysil's climate was gentle and warm in any season. Now, in the spring, it was also perfumed as the fruit trees bloomed throughout the city. It was soothing as it touched her face.
The mining colony where Ezri grew up had been as industrial-looking and sterile as Deep Space Nine. Sunlight and trees were rare sights – greater treasures than what the mines yielded. As a result, she had developed an appreciation, almost a craving, for green and growing things. It was almost silly how much of a black thumb she used to have....
Well, Jadzia's black thumb, anyway.
Wandering where her feet took her, she walked down a service road that ran behind the old hotels on the ridge, overlooking the city and the shining bay. It was picturesque, lined with groves of tall plants and coastal trees welcoming her with their many hues of green. Through the screen of leaves to her right, she could catch glimpses of the city and water below; to her left, a wooded park offered cool shade. Small birds and flying insects darted from tree to tree and around grasses as tall as she was.
A small footpath branched off into the park, and on a whim Ezri took it. The path rambled up to a small bridge spanning a stream, the kind of tropical waterfall that looked cliché on postcards but seemed perfectly natural here.
She paused on the bridge to stand in a patch of sunlight, almost purring as she inhaled deeply and spread her arms wide. The air and sun wrapped itself around her like an embrace. Warmth was something she'd never take for granted again – not after a few days shivering in a Breen brig.
That thought sobered her. She was glad that Worf's report and logs contained only the most sterile details of the incident. Even if the Commission didn't know, she knew she was guilty of one of the heaviest taboos on the books. If they ever did find out, it wouldn't be pretty.
But she shook her head determinedly. If the TSC knew anything, they wouldn't have bothered with a Declaration hearing at all. Besides, right now they were a few thousand kilometers away and not worth thinking about when the sunlight was hot on her shoulders. This softness, this warmth – it was why she'd chosen to come here. Caysil merrily defied all rules, all protocol. There was no other city in the world so completely at odds with the grim focus and order that waited for her in Parsee City, Trillian's capitol.
Ezri sighed, trying to push the Declaration out of her minds. I feel better, she thought, as if to convince herself. It doesn't weigh so heavily now, and in three days it'll all be over. Nothing to worry about. Then she smirked, and answered herself out loud. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that."
"Keep telling myself what?"
She must have jumped a meter into the air at the unexpected voice. "Winds!" she gasped, using the Trillian oath by pure force of habit. "I'm so sorry, I thought I was alone!"
A large man with dark hair and olive skin that made his spots almost blend in stood behind her. He gave her a startled grin, lifting his hands in a placating gesture. "It's okay, ma'am, I guess I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that."
Ezri laughed nervously and stood aside to give him room on the bridge. As he walked up, she saw he was dressed in a hotel uniform. His jacket hung open, and she guessed he was either on his way to work for the day or going home from a graveyard shift. "No, you're all right, really," she said. Then she grinned back to cover for her embarrassment. "It's not like you were interrupting anything important."
He chuckled. "Talking to yourself?"
"Afraid so. And I don't find me to be the greatest conversationalist at the moment, either."
"Oh, I'm sure whatever you had to say was fascinating." He paused, watching her with new curiosity. "Hey, listen, I know I just met you five seconds ago, but you seem like the compassionate type. If you have a minute, we could talk about something else...."
"Well, you see...." Ezri took the smallest of steps back. "That's sweet of you, but I'm here with someone."
The man shook his head vigorously, digging through his shoulder bag. "Oh, don't worry – I'm not flirting with you at all," he said, making her smirk at herself. "I just have something you might be interested in reading." He found what he was looking for – a small, cheaply-made data padd, one of many that he was carrying with him. "I was set to hand these out later today, once I was out of uniform. You know, bad for the company image and all that. But I probably won't run into you again, so I figure, why not?"
Ezri smiled. "Sure. I know what you mean about behaving in uniform. I'm on leave from Starfleet."
The man brightened. "Wonderful! Then you know about other races – more so than most people here." He gleefully handed her the padd, and she activated it.
He kept talking, his tone rising to a practiced, eager pitch. "I'd say this is the best time to get this message out to as many people as possible. A large meeting of Joined educators is coming to my hotel. Talk about bad customers. Most of them seem to think the world belongs to them." He scowled and leaned over her shoulder to gesture at the document. "And Winds, it does. Did you know the Unjoined make up only five percent of all government positions? Or that they make up only 15% of university educators, despite being 90% of the population?"
Ezri felt some of her tension return as she realized what she was holding – the political statement of an anti-Joined political group. She managed to come up with a safe reply. "You just said the reason I took Starfleet over Initiate training."
"I think you got the better deal, frankly. Why give up the experience of new cultures and perspectives just to prostitute yourself to some slug that considers itself better than the rest of us? 'Parents of Society,' indeed – the Joined don't seem to be doing much to nurture us, if you ask me." He tapped his fingers on the bridge's rail. "There are even rumors of the Commission taking sudden interest in young Initiates, and weeks later the kids vanish or turn up dead. And of course, the Azure Guard is sitting on all the proof..."
By this point, Dax had no idea how to untangle herself from this conversation. She focused on the pamphlet to hide the discomfort in her face. The organization was called the Brotherhood, and this was their quarterly newsfeed. Mostly political propaganda, and a lot of damning statistics that she already knew. One out of every four Initiates showing signs of depression, one out of every ten having contemplated suicide at some point during their training, Unjoined workers having little access to high paying jobs and top-notch education, school curriculum that was almost completely funneled through the Symbiosis Commission....
There was truth to a lot of those claims. Still, Ezri pursed her lips at the tone of the arguments. Several of the editorials looked overly harsh. Particularly spiteful was the caricature of a bloated Joined sitting in a silk-draped litter with a Guardian on a leash curled next to him, carried on the backs of four Unjoined slaves.
"Well, some of us are trying to fight back," the man continued. "There are directions to our meeting in a couple weeks. I'm sure we'd look forward to having you."
Ezri swallowed and shook her head. "I ... don't think you'd want me there."
"We welcome everyone interested in an equal say for the Unjoined," he said earnestly. He thrust out a hand. "I'm Janeth Lohs, by the way."
She hesitated. Then she took a deep breath and shook his hand. "Ezri Dax."
He reacted exactly as she'd feared he would. Recognition swept visibly over his features, followed closely by contempt. He dropped her hand and took a step away from her. "Dax. You're a Joined?"
"That's right."
Lohs' expression twisted into a scowl. "Read the pamphlet then, Parent, and figure out why many of us 'children' are so upset."
"No, I agree with most of this. It's just the tone is a little.... "
"Too close to home?" he said acidly. "You certainly don't act Joined, do you? Trying to patronize me, I suppose. You must boast an actress or a courtesan among your past Hosts."
Ezri slipped into her most calming demeanor, one that worked most of the time with irate and agitated patients. "I didn't start this conversation to argue with you. I think you have a lot of valid points."
"Of course we do," he snapped. "But it doesn't make much of a difference to you, does it?"
With that, he pushed past her and stormed off the bridge. He soon slipped out of sight around a bend in the trail. Ezri watched that bend for a long time before starting on the heavy walk back to the hotel.
