v1.6
"And so Metal Man told us to leave him alone with Centaur Man," Ring Man finished with a yawn as he shifted the weight of the large computer console in his hands, ignoring the dull throb in his biceps that was starting to become annoying, "He'll probably have the best luck getting him back under control. I can't even imagine how much that must have hurt..."
"Hmm..." Magnet Man grunted from his end of the console as he glanced over his shoulder to make sure he would not trip over anything as he walked backwards. He looked back to Ring Man once they reached the flight of stairs they were supposed to carry the console down and hissed, "Okay, put it down for a minute." Ring Man complied gladly, rubbing his arms and flexing his shoulders. Magnet Man cracked his neck and leaned against the console, looking it over. "You would think...that since we're both robots, just ONE of us would be able to carry this thing, but nooo..."
"Tell me about it..." Ring Man muttered, "C'mon. Let's go open that door so we won't have to pick this thing back up more than once." Magnet Man nodded, and the two started for the stairway.
However, as soon as they approached the first step, both caught the tips of their boots in a slightly raised floor panel, were thrown off balance, and sent tumbling down the stairway with a lot of muffled yelps, swears, and howls. With a final swear, Magnet Man landed roughly on his stomach at the base of the stairs and tried to push himself back up just in time for Ring Man to land rear end first on his head. The hallways echoed with Ring Man's scream.
* * * * *
Metal Man gave a silent sigh of relief when he finally managed to pry Centaur Man's death grip from his arms, Centaur Man instead opting to run his fingers through his tail as he sat on the floor, legs still limp underneath him. Metal Man sat cross-legged in front of Centaur Man, feeling dwarfed as he just then realized just how large Centaur Man really was. He had never paid it any heed before, as the equine body had tended to be misleading, but now the evidence was clear.
Centaur Man was huge compared to Metal Man.
Although not near the size of Needle Man or Guts Man, Centaur Man was still a large Robot Master, but Metal Man had a feeling it was all height and armor bulk. The youngest Kaiser most likely stood at a good six-foot-eight, making Metal Man feel dwarfed at his own five-foot-one and also making him the tallest of the small group, out-doing even Elec Man's height of six-foot-four. Underneath the bulky armor, he was probably muscular, but not too much. Metal Man mentally nodded. The size was most likely a ruse made by the armor, especially the new, large boots.
"Centaur Man...just calm down--"
"Calm down?!" Centaur Man screeched, jumping slightly, as if surprised to hear his own voice, "Do you have any idea how much that hurt?! It felt like he was shoving a Knight Chain into my gut and twisting it around!" Ice blue eyes turned back down to the floor as he shivered.
"Does it still hurt?" Metal Man asked patiently. Centaur Man hesitated, but shook his head. "Then you should calm down."
"But my back's numb..." Metal Man blinked.
"Numb?"
Centaur Man nodded. "R-Right here..." He reached behind himself, barely brushing his fingers across the small of his back, right over his spine, touching carefully as if he was afraid he would set his back on fire at any moment. "I...I saw just before he made me leave...he...he took out some of my nerves..." Metal Man sighed. Things were getting worse and worse.
Metal Man sighed again and stood up. "Come on...let's have Crystal Man look you over." Centaur Man just stared up at him, almost embarrassed. "Well? Come on."
"...I..."
"What?"
"...I don't know how to walk on two legs..."
* * * * *
"...of all things I could check over and repair..." Crystal Man sighed, rubbing his forehead in a vain attempt to dispel a growing headache, "I never expected to be checking a bruised butt."
"Would you kindly stop complaining and make sure I'm not bleeding?" Ring Man sulked as Magnet Man shifted the icepack on his forehead.
Crystal Man sighed, turning away, "Trust me, Ring Man. Your butt's not bleeding." Ring Man sniffed, but snatched his pants from the table, muttering about how it would take forever to sew the seat back up.
"Well, excuse me," the brown and gold Kaiser sniffed, "But it's not exactly a thrilling experience getting a magnet on someone's helmet shoved up your butt. Damn...I don't think I'll be able to sit down right for a week..."
"You're walking funny," Magnet Man muttered. Ring Man glowered.
"I'm not surprised!" he snapped, sulking.
"Well, how was I supposed to know you'd land on my head ass first?!" Magnet Man snapped back. The two robots proceeded to yell at each other about whose fault it was and who should have tried to move sooner. Crystal Man glanced at them and sighed.
"...I need some aspirin..."
* * * * *
Getting inside the lab was the easy part. Bypassing the security system was the tricky part.
( We're gonna break into the laaaab! )
I still say I created a monster.
There weren't any real security mechanisms except for cameras. Nothing like what I was used to at Wily's place. No cannons hidden in the walls, no trap doors, no holographic floors with spike pits at the bottom. Just...bare hallway.
I'd found Blues' room -- dust covered and bare as it was -- and had confiscated his pillowcase to stuff things into as I found them. I wasn't really after anything special. Just stealing a few things to get back at the future storming of our castle, so to speak. Childish, yes, but fun nonetheless.
Everyone was asleep as far as I knew. Rush was in Rock's room, Beat was in Roll's room, Dr. Light had snored Tango and Eddie out of his room, and Auto was at his workshop. Clouds outside promised snow soon, and it was only then that I realized how close it was to Christmas.
With a pillowcase slung over my shoulder while I snuck around in the dark, I suddenly felt like Santa Claus.
( Ho ho ho! )
Silently thanking the Voice for my sudden craving for cookies and milk, I slipped into the recreational room. Most of what I saw that would be noticeable if it was stolen was too big for the pillowcase and too bulky for me to carry.
( What about some of Rock's CDs? )
Okay, so maybe not everything. I knew from experience that Rock listened to his CDs almost daily; his two-CD Two-Mix album in particular, so I snatched it from the top of the stereo. The Playstation and two of its games were next, followed by Roll's feather duster. I'm innocent, I swear.
I didn't see anything else in the rec room worth taking, so I went into the kitchen next. And Roll just had to have a bucket of cookies out, didn't she? And they just had to be chocolate chunk, my favorite, didn't they? No one ever said I had good self control, but at least I didn't take all of the cookies. Around then I started getting careless, but at least there weren't any cameras in the kitchen.
Six cookies and two glasses of milk later, I left the kitchen, stuffing Roll's recipe box into the pillowcase.
( Where to now, Santa? )
Oh, shut up.
The securely locked door to the main lab stood in front of me, the only way in mocking me. The panel in the wall to the right of the large, metal door flashed a small, red light every now and then to confirm that the voice lock was on. I knew from experience that if a voice and name failed to be recognized three times in a row, the real security system would activate. I knew because I had messed with it a few times a long time ago. Hey, I was newly activated. I had every right to be an annoyingly curious son of a bitch.
( How many times did you set off the alarms? )
...seven...
The Voice was silent for a moment before tearing into insane, cackling laughter.
( I remember that, now! Wily kept threatening to send you to the scrap yard if you did it again, and Light always took your side! )
Yeah. They thought I was just a prankster. Truth be told, I was exactly what I just said I was. An annoyingly curious son of a bitch.
The neuter, monotone voice of the voice lock asked me to state my name, making me jump slightly. Nervous? Who, me?
State name, it asked again.
"...um...Elec Man..?" Okay, so it was stupid. Luckily, the computer didn't recognize the name at all. It didn't only not recognize it as someone who lived here, it didn't recognize it at all. I thought that was rather stupid, but...
No match found. It paused a moment before asking yet again, State name. I cleared my throat and tried Rock's name just for the hell of things. Name found. There was a pause. Voice does not match.
( Try your name. )
I just did. It didn't work. Three strikes and I'm out, you know.
( No. Try your name. )
It took a minute for me to remember what the Voice was talking about, and once I did remember, a wave of nostalgia fell over me. It had been too long since I'd been called that.
State name.
"...Min..."
Voice match confirmed.
The door slid up, exposing the computer lab. I stood there, staring for a minute. Why hadn't Dr. Light taken our old names out of the voice lock? Maybe he figured Wily had completely erased our memories when he reprogrammed and renamed us. Or maybe he just forgot.
The lab was still its usual, cluttered mess. Roll must not have been allowed to clean it up. Probably wouldn't have done any good, anyway. Somewhere under the mass of papers, boxes, spare parts, and tools, there were two metal tables. The only remotely clean area was around the two chairs in front of the large supercomputer. Pathetic.
I stepped through the mess of papers on the floor over to a set of blueprints that caught my eye. From the brief glance I got at it, it looked to be the blueprints to a single-passenger space transport as well as the plans to a hoverboard. Simple and to the point. I shrugged and rolled them up, stuffing them into the pillowcase. I wrote a note on a piece of scrap paper I found on the floor and taped it to the monitor, reaching for my teleporter.
( Aww...c'mon. Set off one of the alarms! You seem to be an expert at it, anyway. )
Why not?
* * * * *
A chorus of klaxons and alarms went off at once, making Rock howl and nearly fall clear out of his bed. A distant cackle came from deep within the lab before fading shortly after Rock, Roll, and Dr. Light stumbled out of their rooms, rushing to the main lab to see what was happening.
"Are we under attack?" Roll demanded, cutting herself off with a yelp upon seeing that the doors to the main lab were wide open. Rock leaped into the room, ready to fight the intruder, but there was no one to fight.
"Computer! Cease alarm!" Dr. Light called over the blaring klaxons, and the alarms cut off abruptly.
"Dr. Light!" Rock called, and the scientist and Roll stumbled into the room, blinking. Taped to the monitor was a note, simple and to the point.
Was it nostalgia or plain forgetfulness that made you keep me in the voice lock's files? Well, if you want your stuff back, I've dumped it at Wily's third fortress' ruins. Oh, and take my advice. Don't leave us in the lock's archive again.
-- Min
"Min...?" Roll muttered.
Dr. Light blinked. "...Elec Man...?"
* * * * *
Home again, home again, jiggity jig. I appeared in what we had designated as the 'lounge' for lack of a better word and sighed, hoping there weren't any more emergencies or problems that I needed to stress over. I needed a shower and a nap. And maybe some cookies. I wished I'd kept that damn bucket.
Roll's recipe box was in my hand, and the blueprints were tucked under my arm, the only two things that I'd kept. Sure, I'd return them eventually. After copying everything. I wanted that cookie recipe, damn it.
( And how are you going to get the ingredients? )
...oh, bah.
It wasn't much of a lounge, but it was the only place in the fortress where we felt that we could relax other than our bedrooms. We'd managed to furnish pretty much all of our rooms plus the lounge in just four trips to the Tokyo junkyard. You'd be surprised at the stuff people throw out. One of the mattresses only had one spring punching through the corner, two were only stained, one had part of the covering ripped off of one side, and mine had a few springs punching out, but that was easily remedied by just turning the mattress over and sleeping on the other side. And no, we didn't find many frames, so three of us are stuck just sleeping on our mattress on the floor; Centaur Man, Magnet Man, and me. Centaur Man always slept in the floor, anyway, so he'd insisted on not bothering to get a mattress for him.
The lounge had a couch that was missing most of one of the cushions, two papasan chairs with stained cushions, and a round table that still smelled like dead fish no matter how much Metal Man cleaned and scrubbed it. I wouldn't put it past him if he replaced it eventually. Next thing we had to do would be to get some things for the kitchen ( and see if the stove and microwave still work ).
Ring Man limped in and called upon seeing me, "Hey, Elec Man! If your arse hurts, would you use BenGay?" I wasn't exactly sure how I was supposed to react to that greeting.
"What the hell are you talking about?" I had a feeling I was going to be sorry I asked.
Ring Man answered, "Well, I'm sorry! It's a very unpleasant experience getting a magnet shoved up your butt!"
Magnet Man poked his head in and snapped, "I told you to try to move, damn it!" With a huff, he ducked back out, grumbling. I stared at Ring Man, confused and dumbstruck.
"...now, I knew you were..." I couldn't bring myself to finish the sentence, and I guess he didn't hear me.
"Cripes, that thing hurt...I didn't expect it to be so damned hard."
"...do I even want to know what you two were doing?"
Ring Man blinked. "Moving that broken computer console like you told us to." My confusion must have shown since he continued, "We fell down the stairs and I landed on his head." I resisted slapping my forehead and just sighed.
"Oh...I don't know. Sit on an icepack, I guess." I shook my head, trying to ward away a growing headache. "Where's everybody else?"
"Magnet Man's working on the cryptograms, and Metal Man and Crystal Man are working on calming down Centaur Man."
"Calming him down?" Ring Man nodded.
"Wily finished his legs sooner than we thought he would." My stomach clenched.
"Already?" Ring Man nodded again. "Aw shit...how much blood did he lose?"
"That's the weird thing...he told us he wasn't bleeding at all. And he couldn't move. Or speak. As far as he noticed, Wily didn't suspect a thing." He shrugged. "You'll have to ask him, yourself." I nodded and sighed. Was this entire month one insanely long Friday the thirteenth, or was it just me?
