It had been exactly seven days since I picked up the old habit when I was found out. A lesson I learned early on was to avoid getting discovered at all costs. I've read about people who do it just to get noticed, attention-seekers whose thrill comes with the concern from others that results when their secret is revealed. I am not one of those people. My thrill comes from just *doing* it, from doing it just because I can, from the actual anticipatory moment between the penetration and the flood.

I learned early on that there are people who will sympathize with you and shower you with the attention they think you want, and then there are people who will commit you to a mental institution to have the craziness shocked out of you. So over the years I have cultivated a nice collection of long-sleeved shirts. (Some people like to carve their stomachs. For me this is getting a little too close to valuable organs. Or maybe I've just seen too many slasher movies where someone gets disemboweled and their fake guts fall out. It's gross and dangerous. Arms are safe. Legs are okay in theory, but not as satisfying, because you can't be constantly feeling them and sneaking looks at them when they're covered up.)

I was alone for the evening. My instinct was to forbid the in-house Jack and Annie relationship, but it would be of no use; they could just sneak around behind my back or at school, and the idea that it was taboo would just give them an added incentive to continue the relationship, whereas if I just let it progress naturally, they would probably split up within the next month or two. High school relationships, though quite involving at the time, don't last forever. So I had given them my implied blessing (with the stipulation that there was to be no sneaking from bedroom to bedroom in the middle of the night) and this particular evening they had gone out on their first real non-secret date.

Frankly, I was glad for the break. Annie's a nice girl, but she doesn't really fit in here, with her bright colors and sweet temper. And the only advantage to the idea of Fi being gone was that maybe our lives would finally settle back down without someone constantly seeking out and being sought out by the paranormal, but Annie's almost as bad, and this year has been difficult.