Disclaimers from Chapter One apply.  Dedicated to everybody and most particularly Chelle-sama; who gets, totally gets, my problem with darling Eri-sama. 

Note: This is where the ratings come into play, kittens, so mind yourselves.  If you're not comfortable reading it, send me an e-mail and I'll send you the last part of the file and you can read the story from where it picks up after…well.

* * *

She destroyed him. "Come to bed with me." The soft words drowned out everything in his head. Eriol lifted his other hand to frame her face. "Please, Tomoyo." He whispered as he ghosted his lips over hers. "Please come to bed with me." She'd been the one to ask him to stay, she'd kissed him tonight, and yet he had to ask, would beg if he had to. She sighed into his mouth as he stood, drawing her to her feet and into his arms. There was so many thoughts flying around inside his head, so much he'd have to think about, but for now, all the mattered was kissing her.  He'd figure things out later.

"Eriol." She breathed when the kiss finally broke. "Eriol." He smiled against her mouth, kissing her again and feeling his name against his mouth. It was like breathing, he thought; the most natural thing in the world to walk, kissing Tomoyo, the few paces from her couch to her bed; to sit and bring her down with him. He stroked his thumbs along her cheeks during long, languorous kisses.  He heard her whimper softly, twisting a bit in his arms. He broke off, smiling, and traced the curve of one ear with his forefinger.

"Am I going too fast, Tomoyo?" He drew her name out teasingly, and grinned as her eyes darkened.  He slid his fingers away from her ear and one by one over her lips. "Should I slow down?"

"Any slower," She said tartly, making him laugh, "and we'll have stopped."

He pressed his forehead against hers. "We have stopped, for the moment." He said, mock seriously, his mouth drawn in a small pout.

"Then I guess we'll have to start going backwards." Tomoyo sighed as if there were no help for it. She giggled softly at him as he pouted more.

"Do that again." He whispered, kissing her softly. "I like to hear you laugh." His eyes met hers again; all the traces of laughter were gone now. "I want to laugh with you, to laugh in bed with you." His voice sounded rough to his ears; his blood was moving slow and heavy in his veins.

"We're not technically in bed." She told him quietly and he could see a hint of fear in her eyes.

He bit back a sweet sigh. "Oh, well, we'll have to fix that then." He muttered against her mouth as he pressed her slowly back into her pillows, coming down partly on top of her, lips moving gently over hers. "We can't have technicalities standing in our way." He said, deepening the kiss.

"Oh no." She agreed with a small moan. "Can't have that." She gasped as he skimmed one hand over her throat and down her chest, stopping just above her breasts, he waited, wanting.  He took his hand off of her and brought his fingers to the buttons on his own shirt.

"Can we have this?" He asked, searching her eyes for signs of wanting to stop.

"Your shirt?" She asked in apparent confusion, as she followed his gaze down to where his hand sat atop the buttons. She blinked at him.

"Well, I was hoping for yours too, eventually." He confessed, pulling a wry face before smiling. "It's easier to be naked with somebody who's already there." He told her. 

She pursed her lips. "Oh." She said with feigned innocence. "Sort of like gym class." She nodded.

"God, I hope not." He choked.  God, she was amazing.

Tomoyo released a small puff of laughter. "We'll have to see." She nipped at his lower lip. "May I?" She asked, tugging the top shirt button free.

It was Eriol's turn to laugh, stealing a gentle, biting kiss. "I should be begging you 'please'." He said, nuzzling her hair, her ear.  He sat up and tucked his glasses away, unbuttoned his shirt cuffs, slipped his shirt and undershirt off over his head, and waited.

"Oh."  Her breath washed over his skin as she sat too.  "Oh my."   Tomoyo's fingers smoothed over the wing of his collar bone and along his shoulder, following the curve of his bicep, the warmth of her touch burned pleasantly on his skin.  Her tongue flicked over her lips as she watched her hand retrace its path, ending in the hollow of his throat.  "Gomen."  She whispered softly and before he could ask what she was apologizing for she leaned forward and bit him right where his neck and shoulder met.

"Tomoyo," He shuddered.  "Believe me, you don't need to apologize."  He felt a wicked smile against the abused skin and shuddered again.

"Gomenne, Eriol," formed a humid patch on the bite before being laved away with a kittenish lick.  "I'll try to remember that."  She shifted closer, her hands settling on his shoulders and the soft press of her nails into the muscles there combined with the sweet kiss to that spot behind his ear made his eyes cross.

"Tomoyo, I'm going to do something…"  He broke off to moan briefly as Tomoyo nipped at his earlobe.  "Do something forward." He gasped, catching her hand as it moved down toward any number of intriguing destinations. 

She looked at him from dreamy eyes and smiled at the hand he held captive. "Please feel free."  She said politely in a voice that was as far from being fit for polite company.  She reached behind her neck, did something incomprehensible and the dress surrendered to her magic.  She shrugged her arms out of the sleeves and was bare to the waist.  He stared at her, at the impish amusement, the sweetness and apprehension mingling with the desire in her eyes. 

"My god, Tomoyo," He had only the weakest of words; but he used them, never taking his eyes off of her face.  "You're so beautiful."  She blushed, eyes dropping down and he ducked his own head.  "Kiss me?"  He was already kissing her as he asked.  He drew her close and the first touch of her bare skin on his made him want to pray.  Or commit blasphemy, he wasn't sure which would come out when he pulled away to speak.  "God," Whether he meant Tomoyo or some other deity didn't matter, "Now for that 'forward'." She kissed him again and he spoke into her mouth, loath to lose contact.  "Forward…I was going forward." Eriol lifted her against him and shifted until they were stretched out on the middle of her bed.  He pulled Tomoyo on top of him and sighed as she kissed him again her hair swinging down to form a curtain between them and the rest of the world.  He couldn't help snickering as an inane detail broke through the haze that was his mind.

"Hmm?"  Tomoyo kissed his chin and smiled, waiting to be let in on the joke.  "What's funny?"

"I am unreasonably happy that habit made me kick my shoes off at the door."  He kissed the corner of her mouth and watched a smile steal across her face.

She rested her fingers against his jaw.  "I am too."  She caught her breath as he dipped his head and kissed the curve of her shoulder, letting it out in a shudder as he kissed a trail up her throat and back down.

"I'm just unreasonably happy."  He moaned as her fingers raked through his hair and moaned again as he slid his hands down the smooth skin of her back, over the hills of her vertebrae before rolling them over.  He drew away and looked down at her.

"I am too."  She whispered.  He was startled to see tears; they reminded him of exactly what this was, what it meant.  It must have showed on his face because she kissed him until they were gone and she was smiling again.  "Somehow I think we'd be even happier without all our clothes on." 

"That's a brilliant idea."  He chuckled, willing to let go if she was, and dusted her face with light kisses.  "You're so clever, Tomoyo." 

She giggled and evaded his kiss.  "I am."  She shoved at his chest.  "If you don't move we can't implement my brilliant idea."  He grinned and sat back, folding himself into a lotus position.  He couldn't possibly mediate but at least it would keep him from jumping across the bed and ravishing her before she could get out of her dress.  He told her as much when she gave him a pointed look; her disapproving 'really, Eriol' made him laugh.

"I wish I had my glasses."  He told her cheerfully as she did away with the skirt of her dress.  When it was gone he nearly swallowed his tongue and was most profoundly grateful he didn't have his glasses on. 

"Your eyes just crossed."  Tomoyo sounded infinitely satisfied.

"I'm surprised they didn't fall out."  Eriol managed to say, his eyes fixed.  "I really, really like your choice in underwear, Tomoyo."  He reached out a shaking hand to touch the white roses that laced up the side.  "Does this," he had to swallow or choke.  "This…unlaces?" 

Tomoyo's cheery nod made him gulp.  "You seemed disappointed that you didn't get to undo the ties on my choir cloak.  So I was optimistic and gave you something else to untie."  He was fairly certain he went blind when he gave an experimental tug and left Tomoyo naked before his eyes.  "Hmm."  He heard her say; it was reassuring to know he hadn't died.  "I'm glad I went with the satin cord for the laces, instead of the silk.  That went very smoothly."

"You made those?"  His voice was faint and a lot raspier than he'd expected.  He didn't even need to wait for her blissful confirmation before he fell back against the bed and covered his eyes.  "Quantum physics, nuclear war, Spinel on a sugar high, Ruby Moon on a sugar high, Cerberus's snacking habit…"

"Eriol?"  Tomoyo's voice would have been concerned if not for the overlying mirth.  She placed a hand on his knee. "Are you alright?"  The hand slid up.

He shook.  "Mostly."  Her hand continued north, continued making him shake.  "Less so."  Her fingers traced the button on his slacks.  "Nope."  He stilled her fingers.  "Give me another minute."

"No."  The amusement was gone, replaced with heat and hurry.  Her fingers slipped out of his and went back to work.  He caught them again only to have her brush his hand away.  "Eriol, no, let me."

Something more was at work.  She wouldn't look at him as he sat up, just kept working at the button.  He'd never known her fingers to fumble before.  "Tomoyo?"  She didn't answer.  "Tomoyo what's wrong?  Why are you rushing?"  Her entire body froze, shocking him.  "Tomoyo…"  He tucked her hair behind her ear and tried to bring her chin up so he could see her eyes only to have her turn her head away.  "Tomoyo, if you're…if you want to stop, just tell me." He waited in the silence, in the sudden stillness, for her to set their course.

"Ruby Moon and Spinel were in the park."  She said finally.  "We hadn't been gone for very long."  She fell back to silence but she didn't need to say any more.  He understood what it was she didn't say.

"That won't happen now."  He kissed her eyelids one after the other and sent his guardians the impression that trying to find him tonight would be tantamount to suicide.  "Not this time. I swear it.  There's nothing to stop us tonight but ourselves. We have all the time in the world tonight."  Maybe he couldn't give her everything, but he could give her this.  "For now, Tomoyo, you're all there is. We're everything."  He pulled her hands up and placed a kiss in each palm and settled her hands at her side.    He undressed quickly, and settled in for a leisurely exploration.  "It's true; I'll show you."

He kissed down the line of her arm and found the place at the crook of her elbow that made her laugh and stayed there for a minute just to hear her giggle and protest before he moved on and found the spot on her wrist that didn't make her laugh at all.  He stroked his way over her ribcage and found himself utterly entranced by the line of her breast, the way it moved as she breathed and the way that movement differed when she gasped.  She was amazing and he told her.  He sought out all the places that would make her go glassy eyed and needful and the places that made her melt.

"Eriol."  She pushed him away from his study of the slope of her stomach and sat up. 

"Tomoyo."  He replied, kissing her.  She smiled against his mouth before shoving him away again.

Her gaze was heavy-lidded with arousal but still clear.  "I want to do this to you."  She reached out and stroked on finger along his chest.  "I want you to show me how to make you feel what I felt."  She said and that stroking finger turned into a hand that was, startlingly, cradling a part of his anatomy he hadn't gotten around to thinking about her touching.

He coughed.  "I think we can…" She moved her hand and he wondered if he'd be permanently cross eyed.  "Okay."  A second move of her hand had him tumbling to lie flat on his back.  "Oh, yeah."  He sighed happily.  Tomoyo giggled.

"You're a good teacher, Eriol."  She murmured as he sighed and moaned beneath her questing touch.  "Everything I liked, you like."  She smiled at him, sweetly and dropped a kiss low on his abdomen.  "Show me one more thing?"

"Anything.  Everything." 

Tomoyo's mouth twisted, though he wouldn't have called it a smile exactly.  "I want you to show me what it's like to be part of you."

Eriol felt his heart crack.  "You already are."  He whispered and he pulled her down to lie with him.  "Like this," He told her, arranging her atop him. "You'll have all the control.  If you want to stop, you can stop; if you need to slow down, you can do that too.  I'm yours." She seemed to freeze above him for a moment, something infinite and deep in her eyes. 

"It's alright, Tomoyo.  I won't hurt you."  He brushed her hair back from her face.

 "It will hurt, I'm sure.  But it's worth it."  She whispered finally and he had to kiss her; reared up and held her face as he kissed her mouth and she took him into her body.  And if the tears in that moment were his, if he missed a revelation, then he didn't notice.  He was content and they were absolutely everything.

Find the answers,
Ask the questions,
Find the roots of an ancient tree,
~~Night Ride Across the Caucasus; Loreena McKennitt, Book of Secrets 

Eriol isn't back yet.  The lobby called up nearly two hours ago to tell her he'd 'decided on a walk' and he still isn't back.  It's late; nearly midnight.  She isn't waiting up for him.  She's packing.  She's had all the laundry done and she's decided to pack it now, instead of in the morning.  It'll be, she thinks, one less thing for them to do before leaving Japan and she's anxious to leave. 

So she packs.  Slowly, with care; like a meditation.  Normally she packs her things in one suitcase and his in another; it's orderly and efficient.  Tonight she is methodically placing his shirts with hers, mixing their socks, his slacks beneath her skirts.  She is wise enough to know that she is very worried and that this is some attempt to have a say in the situation as it stands.    His things are with hers and so he is with her.  Eriol is with her and nobody else; even if he hasn't come back yet tonight.

Spinel and Ruby Moon have refused to go looking for him tonight.  She had asked several times and always the answer is no.  The last time she had asked caused Akizuki to leave the room without a word.  Spinel looked as though he would have liked to leave as well, she thinks now.  She knows that she made them uncomfortable and she regrets it now only because of the answer it prompted.  Spinel, in his large form, sighing at her and telling her that Eriol is in no danger and that, short of disaster, they are not to seek him out.

What had she said to him?  That Eriol wanted time alone?  Something along those lines, because Spinel had nodded and agreed that Eriol wanted his privacy, he'd agreed in that cautious tone that bespeaks careful wording.  She is trying, now, not to think of what was said and not said.  So maybe he is saying goodbye to Tomoeda and his friends or Daidouji.  She's acting foolishly; he could be doing any number of things from stargazing to balancing his checkbook at one of the all-night cafés.  Eriol has spent great amounts of time on his own before without her worrying about what it could or could not mean.  That he wants privacy is nothing much, she is sure.  It's nothing at all, really, even if he's with somebody else right now; because in the end he is with her, his things tumbled together with her own.  She smiles, stroking her fingers across the front placket of his shirt.  She lifts it to her face and inhales, searching for traces of his scent in the fabric but there is none; there is only the smell of detergent and fabric softener.  There wouldn't be she reminds herself as she places it with the others; it's no comfort.

She keeps packing.  And if she's crying, she ignores it.

One more night alone
It's all she never wanted
One more time at home without him

~~The Worst Time; Karma, Unrelased cd (Expect it in soon!) 

"You should go." Tomoyo murmured, addressing the words to the dark head drowsing on her stomach. She couldn't remember when they'd rolled over, or why.  Something about wanting to listen to her heart, she thought.  She combed her fingers through his hair once, again. He didn't move. "Koibito." She whispered. "You should go." No response. "Eriol." She said, firmly.

Eriol blew a tickling breath down her stomach, ruffling the sheet. "No, I shouldn't." He told her, just as firmly.

"You should." She said again, fingers absently tracing patterns across his shoulders. "I should make you."

He caught one of her hands and pulled it over so he could kiss the inside of her wrist. "You wouldn't." He muttered in sleepy confidence. She laughed softly and felt him smile. "Do that again. You sound like a waterfall mixed with an earthquake."

She giggled. "Sometimes, Eriol, you're very silly." She told him. He chuckled warmly and kissed her wrist again before moving it back to his shoulders.

"I know something that would make it so you couldn't make me go." Eriol informed her, his hand disappearing from sight.

"Oh, good." Tomoyo sighed as she arched into his caress. "I was hoping you did."  Starburst patterns formed under her eyelids before exploding into fireworks as his mouth found hers.  "I'm so glad you're so clever."  She gasped as his other hand slid underneath her as he levered his weight off of her.  He lifted her back away from the bed, bringing her breasts to his mouth.

"You're enthralling."  He brushed his mouth across the underside of one breast.  "Captivating."  He continued, nuzzling the curve of her ribs.  "Enchanting."  His tongue slid out to taste the skin of her hip as he lowered her back to her sheets.  He moved lower and smiled lazily.  "You're caught."  His smile was glittering heat.


Tomoyo settled back, smiling to herself.  "Caught?"  He nodded, eyes shinning.  Her eyes slid shut of their own volition.  "Well, I guess I could always scream for help or something."  He laughed, dark and rich.

"Or something."  He decided.  He was right.

She was fairly certain that they slept after that. She wasn't sure for how long, but she assumed it wasn't very, since she found her self coming fully awake in a bathtub full of hot water, bubbles and Eriol, while it was still fully dark outside. "Eriol?" She yawned, leaning back against him. "Not that it isn't pleasant, but why are we in my bathtub?" She watched idly as he blew a handful of bubbles over her shoulder.

"If I said, you'd probably blush all over." He told her smugly. He dropped a kiss on her hair. Tomoyo turned in the bath, folding her hands across his chest and resting her chin on her hands. Eriol leaned down to rub noses gently.

"Is it because we were starting to stick together?" Tomoyo asked and, batting her eyes as Eriol flushed pink, she was a picture of perfect innocence. "You blush worse than I do." She observed mildly.  In fact…she pushed back a bit to gaze down into the water, "That goes all the way down, doesn't it?"  It was cute.  "I'm never going to be able to see you blush without thinking about just where it starts.  And it's just unseemly to be thinking about those kinds of places when out in public."

He blushed harder and passed a hand over his eyes. "Do you know, I didn't think I'd ever hear you say something like that." He told her. Tomoyo bit her tongue as a wicked thought flittered into her mind.

"You do a lot of not-thinking for such a smart guy." She told him, hiding a smirk. "Like you didn't think to ask about birth-control. Twice." Eriol's hand splashed heavily into the water as his eyes became horrified saucers. He had bubbles in his hair. All in all, Tomoyo decided, it was an interesting look on him. "But," she took pity on him, "since you were thoughtful enough in other areas," she arched a brow at him, "I guess I could let you know that I already thought about that." She giggled as he began to breathe again.

"That was cruel, Tomoyo-sama." He said huffily. He spoiled the image of offended piety by leering down the length of the bath. "But I guess the lovely view makes up for your latent mean-streak." He began to wash her back in long, smooth strokes.

She slapped his chest lightly. "You'd better be talking about my eyes, Hiiragizawa." She admonished sternly.

Eriol poked his tongue into his cheek and flicked a glance from her eyes, down the bath and back to her eyes. "Those are lovely too." He said finally.

She giggled and kissed him soundly. "I'm sure."

"I've haven't seen you with all your hair up since the day at the Water Park." He said suddenly, his fingers touching the messy bun she'd pulled her hair into earlier, entranced.

She planted a string of kisses along his collarbone. "I didn't want it to get wet." She didn't stop him, though, as he began to pull the pins out. Instead, she leaned forward to kiss him again. She sighed in pleasure as he left her mouth and suckled at her shoulder, leaving a love bite; something tangible, something she could look at over the next few days and prove to herself that everything had been real, even if it would hurt to watch it fade. 

"There."  He studied his handiwork with pride.  "Now we match."  He rubbed his thumb over the mark he'd made and smiled.

Tomoyo looked.  "No we don't.  Mine's right here."  She kissed the spot where she'd bitten him and his hand tightened gently on her shoulder as he moaned softly.  "Yours," She let the words form against his skin to make him shiver.  "Yours is all the way over here."  She punctuated the words with a string of kisses leading to the curve of his shoulder.

"So it is, so it is."  Eriol agreed with a wicked smile.  "Shall I give you another?"  He placed his own string of nips and kisses, leading from his mark to her throat, trailing up to her jaw and down again. 

"Don't you dare."  She rested her cheek against his hair for a moment, nuzzling.  "I can hide the one easily enough but I think Mother would start to wonder why I insist on turtleneck pajamas."

He drew back and pursed his lips.  "Hm.  I'll just have to find someplace else to leave one."  His eyes held laughter along with dark swirls of arousal.  He rearranged them until he could reach her breasts.  "Maybe here."  He licked a stripe down the swell of her breast.  "Or here."  Another wet swath up the under curve he seemed to be fascinated with.  "I could try here."  He whispered unevenly before kissing her nipple, tugging it into his mouth briefly and releasing it with a reluctant sigh, "But I don't think it'd work."

"You could try."  She heard herself moan as he made a path of delicate, sucking kisses to her other breast.  "I wouldn't mind."

A low, husky laugh answered her.  "I'll have to keep that in mind for the next time."  She bit down hard on the inside of her cheek; there wasn't going to be a next time.  This was the only time.  She stared down at him, at his eyes gone to the color of smoke and plums, and she was suddenly, fiercely angry.  She slid down against him, taking him into her in a single, swift move.   He arched up against her, shock warring with other less discernible emotions.  But he didn't ask her if she wanted to change locations, didn't ask her if she was sure she was up to another bout; he kissed her furiously and moved with her, keeping time with her frantic body.  She couldn't take her eyes from his, couldn't speak. Tomoyo found that all she could do was this one thing; love him.  She could love him one more time, watching his eyes as they moved together, and memorize him, this.  Water slopped over the rim of the bath in waves but Eriol didn't seem to notice and she didn't care.  She tried hard not to notice as they tumbled replete into her bed that outside the sky was noticeably less dark than it had been.

He fell asleep quickly.  She watched him, unable to find sleep for herself.  He was so pale and beautiful, even though there were bluish smudges under his eyes that marked how little sleep they'd gotten.  She probably had the same dark marks under her own eyes. She'd be useless in school tomorrow.  Today.  It didn't matter much.  She touched a fingertip to the corner of his eye, the place it crinkled when he smiled.  He'd have crow's feet there in another twenty years.  She caressed the smooth cheek that would bear the laugh lines he'd earn from the happy, playful smile he always wore.  She wouldn't see them; the keycard to his hotel room was glowing white on her carpet.  "Oh Eriol, I'll miss you so much."  She said too quietly to wake him.  She got up silently, found her robe and made her way to her theater.

The theater was already set to run the video she'd been watching days ago; her sketch pad was open on the projector's base.  She'd been working on a design for Sakura's wedding dress.  A smile touched her face.  Li-kun would propose sooner or later, she had no doubts, and Tomoyo aimed to be ready.  She settled in to watch, sketching absently; Sakura-chan should have a dress that was at least reminiscent of her costumes, the Cards and those costumes had been the beginning of everything.  It wasn't until she'd finished, until she was putting the finishing touches on the bride's long, curling hair that Tomoyo realized she'd drawn herself into a dress with lace enough and ribbon enough that Sakura would automatically refuse.  Her lip trembled and for the first time since she'd realized her feelings, she cried. 

"I wish you could help me now, Sakura-chan."  She whispered through her tears as on-screen her best friend leapt to the rescue.  She was wise enough not to try dreaming her way out of it; things were ending.  It was time to cry now, to say goodbye now, so that she could let go of her lover in the morning and let him be her friend.  He needed to follow his own fate, but at least she'd had her say.  She shut the power off and wiped her face.  She mopped up the water they'd spilled in the bathroom and found her stationary and a pen.  There wasn't much to say but she said what was in her heart, giving it to the man in her bed one last time.  She picked up the keycard to his hotel room, holding it and feeling how cold and sharp the edges were in her clenched fist before wrapping it in her letter and tucking it into his pants pocket.  The sun would be up soon and he'd need to leave before anybody in the house was really awake.  She'd have to stay awake, but at least she could do it in his arms.

She tucked herself in to the curve of his body and felt his arm come around her waist to hold her close. "Missed you…"  Tomoyo felt the words, indistinct with sleep, stir her hair.  She ran her fingers along the back of his hand, tracing the veins and he turned his hand, tangling their fingers. She drew that small tenderness into her heart, wrapped it around herself.  She let the last few hours of darkness be all the time in the world.  And they were everything.

Cast your eyes on the ocean

Cast your soul to the sea

When the dark night seems endless

Please remember me

~~Dante's Prayer; Loreena McKennitt, Book of Secrets

The first thing he felt was a warm kiss against his shoulder blade. It was, thought Eriol, a lovely way to wake up. Her voice was the next thing that registered.

"Eriol. Eriol-san, it's time to get up." She whispered. His lips curved briefly, but he didn't open his eyes. "Eriol, you need to wake up right now. She said louder, shaking him. He flipped quickly, catching her against his chest.

"Ohayou, Tomoyo-san." He said brightly. She laughed softly under her breath.

"Ohayougozaimasu, Eriol." She said, kissing him gently. Then, "It's time." She said seriously, drawing away from him. He didn't let her.

"It's still early."  He protested.  "It's too early to go."  Only, it wasn't.  She shook her head.   Eriol considered his options.  "Wait…I've got something that'll work."  He tugged her down onto the bed with him and underneath the blankets.  He smiled at her in the cozy semi-darkness.  "It's going to get a little stuffy, I think, but it'll work."

Tomoyo looked at him in confusion. "What are we doing?"

"Well, we're using the 'magic cocoon' theory."  She blinked at him and he kissed her cheek.  "I don't have enough magic to stop time."

"Oh, Eriol."  She giggled softly and slipped away from him.  Once out of the bed she pulled the blankets from over his head and kissed the tip of his nose.  "Now, put your clothes on."

He watched the sadness in her eyes grow, felt something in his chest grow in proportion to it. "What if I didn't?" He pushed, foolishly; he knew that he had to leave, had to go back to his hotel, to England, to the real world. "What then, Tomoyo?"

Her smile was real, even if it didn't reach the deepest part of her eyes. "I'd shove you naked off my balcony rather than let my bodyguards or my mother find you naked in my bed." She leaned in for one, quick, darting kiss. "At least if they find you on the lawn, I can tell them that you're some kind of pervert."

Eriol chuckled and tucked his arms under his head. "You wound me, Tomoyo-san."

"You will be wounded, if you don't move." He watched the hem of her robe flutter as she went about gathering his clothes together and tutting over the hopelessly obvious wrinkles. It was sweet.

He sat up. "If I get a proper kiss." His voice was thick. "One kiss." He could hear sounds from the rest of the house now, the waking-up, morning sounds of a household ready to start the day. He needed to leave.

"One kiss." Tomoyo agreed faintly. When she leaned over to kiss him Eriol pulled her off her feet and fully onto his lap. He couldn't stop himself from burying his hands in her hair again; kissing her with a hunger that belied the past night.

"Two." He temporized, loath to let her go as she tried to pull away.

"Eriol, we can't." She whimpered, twisting away from him.  He'd made the sadness worse. He reached out, shushing her as she started to protest. He gathered her carefully against his chest in a tender hug.

"I'm sorry, Tomoyo." He kissed her temple. "I'm sorry." She nodded without speaking; a silent agreement, he thought, that she, too, was sorry. Outside her room the sounds of the household got louder. He released her reluctantly, accepting her small smile with one of his own as he began to dress.

"I'm going to go have a shower." She told him, back to him. "You can…" She sighed, shoulders slumping a bit. "Would you be terribly disappointed if I said that I didn't want to watch you leave?"

Eriol finished pulling on his shirt and crossed the room in three quick strides. He took her hand, bringing her wrist to his mouth; he kissed the skin on the inside gently, bringing his eyes up to meet hers. "Right here," he said against her skin, without meaning to, "you smell like the breeze in the West Garden." He wasn't sure why that fact mattered so much, now. "I planted narcissus and cinnamon and vanilla a few years ago. It smells like you, in the spring and summer it smells just like you." He kissed her wrist again, tenderly.

"Eriol." He watched her throat work for words; saw her flinch at a voice in the hall. "You need to go." She murmured, eyes filling. "Goodbye, Eriol-san."

"Tomoyo…." He whispered, hurting in some undefined way.  "Nothing is going to change.  We'll always be friends.  I'll be your friend forever, no matter what.  I promise." He used Move before she could say a word to him. He stepped out of the hedge and onto the sidewalk without looking back. It was only after he'd covered half the distance back to the hotel that he realized he might not have his key. He stopped dead in the middle of the street. A quick feel of his pocket revealed that he did have his keys; and something else. He pulled a letter, written on pale blue paper, out of his pocket. Tomoyo had been up very early this morning, he thought. He decided to read it immediately, as she'd left no instructions as to when to open it.

Haikei Eriol,

I wanted you to have one last letter from me, because we both know that from now on there probably won't be any letters and if there are, they won't be like before. I wanted to have this one last moment with you.

I love you, Hiiragizawa Eriol, as a friend and as so much more. If there has been anybody or anything that has meant as much to me as you, I can't remember what or who it was.

Keigu,

Tomoyo

He felt as though he'd been hit hard in the stomach. He closed his eyes, willing himself to deal with his feelings so he wouldn't miss his plane. So he could go back to Reed Manor with Kaho and be a proper friend to Tomoyo and not…not whatever he was right now.  Not whatever it was he wanted to be to Tomoyo.

It was rather like being stabbed, he thought dimly before nearly getting run over by a blur of school uniform and a chorus of 'I'm going to be late!' He caught Sakura-san by the arm before she could send them both to the pavement.

"Sorry!" She gasped. "I—Eriol-kun?" She blinked at him. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine, Sakura-san." This, he told himself firmly, was not a lie. He wasn't hurt. Not precisely.

"You look hurt." Sakura told him.

"You didn't run into me. I'm fine." He assured her.

"That's not what I meant." She replied. "I meant, 'you look like you tore your own heart out'." She looked worried. "Are you hurt, Eriol-kun?"

And it was a measure of just how far outside of normal his day was that when Eriol opened his mouth to say 'I'm sure I'm fine, Sakura-san, thank you for your concern', what actually came out was, "I'm a stupid, sorry bastard." And then he sat down on the curb and put his forehead on his knees, wrapping his arms his legs.

"You are hurt." Sakura said, dropping down beside him. One small hand patted his back soothingly.

"I don't know what I am." He said, muffled.

Sakura rubbed soothing circles on his back for a long moment.  "You're in love.  And you're in need of a shower."  She said finally.  "You probably should have showered at Tomoyo-chan's house before you left."

Eriol choked.  "I didn't…I wasn't…it's not like that!"

"You're going to deny it?" Sakura asked and Eriol saw that she was suddenly, startlingly, furious. "You'd spend the night with her and then say that you don't love her?"  She stood up abruptly, one hand clutching her necklace.  Eriol was more afraid than he'd ever been as she seemed to grow to twice her normal height.

"Sakura-san!" Eriol said desperately. "Sakura-san, wait! It isn't what you think!"  It was a bad move on his part, waves of power rolled off of her.  "Wait!"  He ducked and missed, by millimeters, being brained by the Star-Staff. "I love Tomoyo-san!" He shouted. Then he stopped dead. He did?

"You do?" Sakura said suspiciously, slowly pocketing the Sword.

Eriol nodded, utterly thunderstruck. "I do." He remembered grinning over blue paper, hours listening over and over to a tape of an unaccompanied soprano, sending flowers from his garden, pouring out his heart in the middle of the night and felt radiantly happy.  "I've loved her for years."

"Of course you have."  Sakura's affectionate chiding floated over his ears without him really hearing it at all.

"Sakura-san, I love Tomoyo-san!" He whispered in awe. "I love Tomoyo!" He threw back his head and shouted it. "I love her!"  Sakura clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Shh." She admonished, shaking the staff back into its key. "Do you want the whole neighborhood to hear you?" She dropped her hand as he beamed at her. "You look like an over-eager puppy when you do that." She leaned over and picked up her school satchel. "So, have a nice trip back to England. I have day duty this morning." She began to walk away and Eriol stared after her in complete and utter shock.

"England?" He said breaking his stupor. He ran to catch her up. "Sakura-san…"

"Your plane leaves this morning, right?" She shrugged elaborately. "So, have a good trip home."

"I can't go to England!" Eriol wondered at the scandalized tone of his voice, but didn't dwell on it as he was thinking about more important matters. "Tomoyo-san is here. I can't leave her! Not after last night!" He winced suddenly. "Not," He muttered, trying to save Tomoyo's dignity and reputation, "that anything happened last night."

Sakura giggled. "Eriol-kun…you smell funny. Your clothes are all wrinkled and you have bits of Tomoyo's hedge in your hair."

"No, it's not that…it isn't that at all!" He protested, thinking furiously. "I just…"

"It's not a regular funny smell." Sakura told him, talking over him. "It's the funny 'Give us a minute, Sakura-chan!' smell. And last time Syaoran-kun and I visited Hong Kong Er-jie had just gotten married. It's that same smell."

"N-no. Sakura-san…it wasn't— it isn't…" He was, Eriol realized, blushing rather like a scandalized Victorian lady of the highest breeding. Sakura, however, sounded as matter of fact as if she were discussing routine household chores.

"And I've never seen you have wrinkly clothes." She continued on calmly. "Plus the only way to get Tomoyo's hedge all over you is if you go through it. And Sonomi-obasan likes you. She'd let you in the front door." She shrugged. "So you sneaked out through the hedge, unless you just sneaked over very, very early…but," She frowned slightly, "You'd still have had to sneak back out." She smiled suddenly. "I hope you spent all night, Tomoyo-chan loves you a lot."

"You…you…you…" Eriol knew he sounded like a skipping record, but it was truly the only thought in his very confused, very embarrassed brain.

"Well, no." And here, he thought, Sakura had the good graces to blush. "I haven't. But Da-jie and Er-jie are both married and San-jie is engaged. Si-jie is dating. They talk a lot."  She tilted her head, "And then Syaoran-kun's mother makes us all tea."

Eriol shook his head to clear it. "Sakura-san, what do I do?" He asked feeling helpless.

Her air of surprise and mild amusement mirrored Ruby Moon's from a few nights earlier. "Don't you know, Eriol-san?" She giggled and patted his face affectionately. "I can't tell you what you should do. But you already know anyway."  A sparkling current of her power drifted around them.

"Sakura-san! Do you have any paper?" His mind worked frantically, trying to think of words to fit what he was feeling, words to tell Tomoyo what was happening, what would happen.  He looked at the sheet of paper Sakura thrust into his hands and sharply back up at her. "Chibiusa?"

She smiled, secretive and serene. "Akizuki-san lent it to me. I thought I might need some." She plucked the note he hadn't noticed he'd written from his hands. "Would you like me to give this to Tomoyo-chan?"

He blinked. "Please." He turned, heading for his hotel room when Sakura's voice stopped him. It sounded very serious.

"Eriol-san…." She hesitated then sighed. "Be careful. Listen very hard, okay? And…" She titled her head to the side, studying him closely. "Remember what it's like to want something you can't have."  Her eyes were unhappy for a moment.  "Be careful."   He blinked at her. As he watched she shook her head and smiled. "I've got to go.  I'll see you later!"  She waved and jogged up the steps to school. 

Eriol thought about what she'd said as he walked.

Don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
Don't wanna be somewhere I just don't belong
Where it's not enough just to be sorry
(I'm sorry)
~~ Bed of Lies; Matchbox20, Mad Season

He doesn't even try to be quiet as he enters the room and it tears at her.  He knew then, that she'd be awake.  He always could sense it, it seems.  He looks like her worst fears confirmed as he stands in the open door for a moment before shutting it with a quiet click behind him.  "Good morning, Kaho."  He says softly.  Part of her wants to tell him that he should just call her Mizuki, after last night.  She doesn't.

"Do you really think it is?"  He looks at her in utter sadness for a long moment, and it's so obvious that he's torn between answers.  How could he be, she wants to ask.  How could he be torn between agreeing that yes, this morning is good or saying no, it is not?  Seeing him clearly for what must be the first time in ages hurts her eyes and heart.  Eriol doesn't answer her.

"I'm sorry."  He says and crosses the room to stand before her.  "I'm sorry, Kaho."  He reaches out to take her hands as he's done a hundred-thousand times before.

Unlike before she pulls away from his comfort.  "Not for the right thing." 

He bites his lip for just a moment, eyes shuttered.  "No.  I'm not sorry for spending the night with Tomoyo."  And there it is.  Confirmed.  Out in the open.  Acknowledged.  They won't hide from this truth and suddenly she wants to.  She wants to hide between half-formed words and sentences and not know for certain how right and how wrong she has been.

"I didn't believe you were."  She moves past him to retrieve her cup of tea from the coffee table.  It's long since cold, but then she's not drinking it because she's thirsty.  "We'll have to talk about it you know, if we're going to put it behind us."  She turns to look at him.  He's looking out the window again, looking across Tomoeda, toward the girl he left this morning.  There is regret in his gaze when his eyes come back to her and a set determination. 

She has lost him.  "We'll talk."  His voice is hushed.  "I know that you probably have questions and I'll do my best to give you answers.  You deserve them."  His hand touches against his pocket for a moment and he looks back over the city briefly.  "You deserve better than this," he sighs, "but I've been a real idiot.  I…"

"You're not coming back to Reed Manor."  She wants to cry at the faint light of relief in his eyes as he shakes his head.  Why, why, why?  "I see."  She tries to pull the tranquil peace of the moon around her, to keep herself from crying out, but the moon has set and the sun already risen.  "You know that it's a mistake, don't you?"  Even she cringes from the tone of her voice and Eriol has the grace to look away, to close his eyes.  "Surely you won't let your lust keep you here?  There is nothing for you here; even if Daidouji is that sort of girl."  Her anger is pouring out in waves and she can't stop the flow of words even as she wishes she could hold them back.

"Kaho, don't.  Please don't be bitter."  But her heart can't listen to his pleas. 

"I should have stopped this years ago!"  She should have done something.  She could have done things differently and they wouldn't be here she thinks.  "I should have stopped this, when those chocolates arrived, I should have said something then.  We wouldn't even be here now.  This never would have happened two years ago.  Never."  He's still and she's shaking and she wants him to agree with her.  "This wouldn't have happened.  You would have quit writing her and this wouldn't have ever been an issue.  If you'd have only known then!"  Hindsight is twenty-twenty, always.

Or not; he's shaking his head 'no' again.  "If I'd have known two years ago," He won't let her eyes leave his, "If I'd have known, I'd never have put you through this and I'm so sorry." 

"You were…were you just using me until you were certain of Daidouji then?"  The very idea is too horrible to comprehend, but what if it's true?

Eriol seems to see her clearly, too, for the first time in a long time.  He looks as though he'd hold her, if such an action wouldn't shatter her or give her false hope.  "No.  Kaho, I loved you.  You were the first."  He smiles, small and humorless, but it's a smile all the same.  "You knew what I was from the beginning and you treated me as you would have treated any man you were interested in.  It meant so much to me, to know it didn't matter to you."  She wants him to be heading towards a happy ending for them, but she knows that he isn't and she must close her eyes if she's going to listen to him and not hope.  "I did love you."  He says softly.  "Don't doubt that."  He has tears in his eyes.  Saying these things is hurting him as much as her.  "I never thought to look at anybody else once I knew what you felt for me.  And I knew that Tomoyo-san's heart was as set as mine and so I never thought to look beyond what she showed me in her letters.  And if I had I might have looked at what I was saying to her.  I just didn't see it because I didn't look for it.  I couldn't figure out why those letters seemed to bother you because I was a coward, I guess.  If I would have just sat down and thought, but I couldn't imagine anything being different from what it was."  He runs one hand through his hair in frustration.  "It's so stupid.  I can't believe…I never wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry."  He slumps against the window and closes his eyes.  "I'm so sorry, Kaho.  I still care.  I don't want to hurt you like this."  He opens eyes that are awash with sorrow.

"I know, of course I know."  And she does know that it's breaking his heart to break hers, but it doesn't stop the truth from being painful.

He removes his glasses and rubs tiredly at his eyes.  "Spinel?  Please let the front desk know that I'll be here through today.  Ask them to send up a paper, one with a real-estate section.  We'll need to find an apartment.  It should please Ruby Moon."

Spinel murmurs in agreement from behind her and flitters past her, heading for the phone.  "I'll unpack your things."  Her voice trembles on the last word and he nods before going into the bathroom to shower.  She is lifting his green shirt from the suitcase when she hears Spinel close the door on the room he shares with Akizuki, the white slacks are in her hands when she hears the shower start.  She makes it all the way to his favorite shirt before the sobs rise out of her like a scream.  She buries her face in the cool cloth as she makes a noise like a wounded animal; shoves it away when the hot tears begin to splash down her cheeks.  She's moaning and shaking and crying like a child, she wants her mother, her father, she wants Eriol but she has to settle for her pillow.  She curls around it, buries her face into it and weeps. 

"Everything will be alright, Sensei."  A soft touch strokes over her hair, rubbing her back soothingly.  "For sure, someday, everything will be okay." 

She cries herself out, dozes, and when she wakes all of Eriol's things are gone from the suitcases and the room.  Her own things are waiting by her door, her airline ticket sitting on the table in the main room.  The door to other room is open and she sees his belongings, in place of all of his Guardian's things.  Eriol will stay here, with Tomoyo and Akizuki-san will be on the plane, with her, back to England in order to pack the things they left behind when they took this trip and close Reed Manor.  Kaho doesn't want to be on the plane with Akizuki-san for twenty-hours.  She doesn't want to be on the plane without Eriol.  She leaves the suite without a backward glance and she doesn't say farewell to an empty room or the man whom she loves even though he's standing by the windows watching her leave.

feeling i've been lost for years
you can never understand me unless you've seen those tears
~~Pain; Four Star Mary, Four Star Mary * * *

Okay…I don't know what the deal is with ff.net but the last part of this file has been having HUGE problems with formatting during the upload.  So I've made it another chapter in mad attempts to fix it.  Sorry!  But hey, at least it's up…. And now I must thank Jo-chan for correcting my *ahem* shoddy Chinese.  Jo-chan is brilliant.  ^.^