Author's Note: This is the last chapter of this story. I still don't own the characters. The song in chapter 6 is "Send His Love To Me" by PJ Harvey; the song in this chapter is "Hey Pretty" by Poe. In both cases I took some liberties with the lyrics, deleting some and guessing at some in this chapter. Thanks for reading! :)

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Well it's 3 a.m., I'm out here riding again
through the wicked winding streets of my world
I make a wrong turn, brake it, now I'm too far gone
I got a siren on my tail and that ain't the fine I'm looking for

I had forgotten what a calming experience simply driving aimlessly can be. I did have a destination in mind, one that had been specified in the letters in case anyone wanted to reach me. It was time to take a break from Hope Springs, the most ironically titled town on earth. There was no hope in Hope Springs, just ruts to get stuck in. There was nothing like the peace of the highway in a small car, with only my own thoughts to keep my company. It would be difficult to keep them in line, but eventually we'd sink into the rhythm of the engine and the hum of tires on asphalt.

I see a stairway so I follow it down into the belly of the whale
Where my secrets echo all around
You know me now but to do better than that, you've got to follow me
Boy, I'm trying to show you where I'm at

Maybe my main problem was that I had always looked at myself in terms of the other people in my life. I was constantly deserted and mistreated, ignored and invisible. Well, now it was time to move forward, like Irene had suggested. It was time to push everyone away and find out who I really was without them. Songwriting had been the only way I was able to do that before; well, songwriting and my little habit, anyway.

Hey pretty, don't you wanna take a ride with me through my world?
Hey pretty, don't you wanna kick and slide through my world?

By about 6 the next night, I rolled into a town of sorts, if by town you mean a collection of very small buildings and tiny crackerbox houses and one motel with a giant vacancy sign flashing desperately.

I got a mind full of wicked designs
I got a nonstop hole in my head imagination
I'm in a building that has two thousand floors and when they all fall down
I think you know just who they're falling for

I had come to the conclusion that the era of responsible mother, sensitive friend, and supportive wife was over. I still loved my kids, Irene and Ned, and even Rick. But the person I had deserted twenty-five years ago was still alive and begging to get out. She was the one with the knife in her hand. She was the one I would no longer hide. Irene had been right. I was damaged. But who the hell isn't? Why fight it?

I can't forget I am the sole architect
I built the shadows here, I built the growl in the voice I fear
You add it up but to do better than that you've got to follow me
Boy, I'm trying to show you where I'm at

I checked in to the motel and drove the car around to the room I was given. No other cars were in the parking lot. It was a little creepy, kind of like The Shining. This was probably exactly the kind of little town in which someone with bigger aspirations could go mad.

Hey now, can't you feel me longing?
(Do you get the gist of the song now?)
Hey now, can't you feel me? Feel me now...

I took a shower and tried to sleep, but I was too wired, too enamored with my own impetuousness to calm down long enough to drift off. I tried to turn on the TV, but there was no reception. Of course. The only reading material in sight was the Bible. So I just lay still, trying to focus my thoughts on something other than my plans for the immediate future and the new personality I would adopt--or stop concealing, as it were. A color, maybe. Beige. I focused on beige. It's a stupid idea, but I read about the technique in a magazine, and it had worked before. Beige, beige, beige. The most boring color in the world. I finally found myself in the midst of one of those waking dreams where I was dreaming, but still convinced I was awake. There were these small furry aliens, but they were evil, so I was trying to kick them away, but they kept clamping on to my legs and arms and slowing me down. The aliens were about to overtake me when the pounding started. I was convinced it was coming from the mouths of the aliens themselves, but finally the noise shook me fully awake. I stayed there in bed for a moment, quietly, to see if the pounding would cease. It remained steady.

I opened the door and smiled...

(Do you get the gist of the song now?)