Title: The Price We Pay
Disclosure:
Warner Brothers Television Distribution and Shoot The Moon Productions owns
these characters, as well as to the writers, and actors who created and
portrayed them. Generous references to
the past and the events of the 4th season… I don't make any money off of this –
my only reward is my personal satisfaction at having written a decent story
(and the story is all mine). Oh, and
any new characters that you meet along the way - those are creations from my
own twisted imagination, so hands off, unless you ask for permission to play
with them.
WARNING: THIS PART CONTAINS SENSUAL IMAGERY THAT IS A
BUT STRONGER THAN THE PG RATING THAT THE FIC HAS IN GENERAL. I FELT IT NECESSARY FOR THE HISTORY PART OF
THE STORY.
See Chapter 1 for
more information on timing and all that other good stuff...
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Lee made it home
that night, unscathed. He and Billy
walked out to the parking lot at Monk's, and parted ways, Lee thanking Billy
profusely for getting him out of there and promising that he and Amanda *would*
come over for dinner sometime soon.
While stuck in
traffic trying to make it home to Arlington, Lee thought about his unique
relationship with Becca Dobson. And
unique was certainly an understatement when it came to Becca-Boo.
He'd met her in a
nightclub in D.C. in 1981 after a particularly harrowing day. He'd been shot at multiple times, had just
missed obtaining a graze wound on his forehead, and really needed some
company. He thought about a couple of
his black books, but there hadn't been anything appealing to him. He knew that he wasn't going to find a good
time between the pages, when all he'd wanted was a good time between the
sheets. He wanted an affirmation of
life and the way that Scarecrow found that was by finding yet another new bed
mate. Lee laughed to himself – how much
had changed in his life. If that very
night someone had told him that in 4 years he'd fall in love with a single mom
from Virginia, saying that he wouldn't have believed it would be an
understatement.
Becca had always
been an aggressive one – he remembered that he'd been sitting at the bar when
she pulled herself onto the barstool next to him and whispered some sweet,
sensual somethings into his ear. He
raised an eyebrow at this and then turned to take a look at who was the woman
being so forward. He stared straight
into a pair of bright blue eyes with a dark blue rim, framed in a very pretty face. The only thing that kept him from thinking
she was a black haired angel was the wicked way her eyebrow was arched as she
smiled at him. He was pretty sure
that he'd met that night's match.
They left the bar
together, and headed straight for Lee's apartment. They barely made it inside before they'd started pulling at each
other's clothes. 15 minutes later on
the floor near the entryway they were gasping for breath – it had been hot and
furious, as if they were both trying to prove something. A few minutes later they made it into Lee's
bedroom, but the sex was still hard, and fast. After two more hours at that pace, they were weary from exertion and
fell asleep with Lee still very firmly inside Becca. They woke up in those same positions an hour later, both very
aroused. This last time was slow and
sweet and almost loving. After it was
over, they'd given in to exhaustion again, and fell asleep.
When the sun
rose, Becca was already getting dressed and getting ready to leave. She swept her hand over Lee's forehead,
kissed him gently and walked out. She'd left a note that left her name, her phone number and a
message-stating thank you in some very graphic terms.
Lee sauntered
into the office the next morning with a spring in his step despite feeling worn
out, a smile on his face, and no idea what was waiting for him in the morning
staff meeting. He stopped by Billy's
office before the meeting and heard that one new female agent had joined the
team, and they were all supposed to do their best to make her feel
welcome. Lee had always been one of
the more gregarious agents, and made everyone feel welcome – especially the
female agents. It was a clever act as
he was always in control of his personal feelings – his persona around The
Agency was mostly an act – he knew it, his co-workers knew it, Billy knew
it. So it did come of somewhat of a
surprise when he walked into the staff meeting and saw the woman from the night
before sitting in his usual chair. And
his fellow agents were a little intrigued by the fact that Lee Stetson's jaw
almost hit the floor.
Lee remembered
that that was one of the few times that he had let anything take him by
surprise. He made it through the day in
somewhat of a daze, but realized by the end of the day that this was something
of a blessing – she was a fellow agent – he wouldn't have to work an extensive
background check on her if he was to see her again. But he didn't seek her out either. The next time they met was a couple of weeks later when they
were on the firing range, and could barely keep their hormones in check. Lee went home that night, feeling very
restless and frustrated, wondering what to do with the night. It was a relief when someone knocked at the
door 15 minutes later and it was Becca looking at him with that same wicked
smile she had when she first approached him at the nightclub.
Lee exhaled as
traffic started to move again, remembering what a workout they had had that
second night. Becca certainly had
stamina and energy and creativity on her side. They agreed at the time that they both didn't like exclusive
relationships, so there wasn't any regularity as to when they got together. Nor was there any pattern to how they
aroused each other or what they did to relieve that tension. Sometimes it was a slow seduction, with
confident teasing on both sides. Sometimes it was fast and hot, like that first night, when they'd barely
make it out of the doorway when clothing that was in the way was pulled roughly
aside. But no matter what, their
meetings were always at Becca's insistence and convenience and were always
fulfilling.
This
'relationship' was the only one, until Amanda came along, where Lee had kept
complete control over every situation. And for some reason, with Becca dictating the when and where, Lee was ok
with that. So whenever she gave Lee a
call, he'd free up the night no matter who was in town, or what was going on
that night. Since Becca was an agent,
she had access to the on-duty roster and knew exactly when Lee was off, and she
never interfered in his case schedule. There were always other new male agents that she could entertain herself
with when Lee was otherwise occupied, or if she wanted something else from the
night. It went on like this for
months. There would be weeks where they
wouldn't see each other except passing in the halls of The Agency, and then
they would find themselves together for 4 or 5 nights in a row.
It was the
perfect, convenient, no-strings-attached relationship.
Then the Minsk
assignment came up in August 1982 – a long term, deep cover situation,
reporting only to Blue Leader. Even
Billy couldn't argue her out of this one if he wanted to. Becca had made significant contributions to
the solve rate at The Agency, and her skills were going to be needed on this
case. She'd be leaving early the next
morning on the first flight out, to establish herself and then move to a
contact zero position. Lee
congratulated Becca on being assigned to this case, and let her know that he'd
be home on her last night in town. Somehow, he knew that she wouldn't come, mostly because he initiated the
idea – Becca always had to be in control.
Lee recalled
going to bed late that night after a cold shower, and thinking about whom he
would call the next morning for a nice private dinner at his place. He woke in the wee morning hours to the
sound of someone trying to pick the lock on his front door. He headed into the living room; gun ready
when the door slowly opened. He hit the
light, hoping to surprise the individual, only to find Becca was the one
opening the door. She smiled at him,
arched that one eyebrow seductively at him and shut the door behind her. Lee remembered being furious and relieved
all at once, and then forgetting how he was going to berate her when she opened
her coat to reveal a short lace bustier and stockings she was wearing
underneath. She'd left a half hour
later, smiling and satisfied. And never
to be heard from again for 5 years. After some time, Lee had forgotten about her – she was just another name
in his little black book.
As he came back
to the present, now driving through the streets of Arlington towards his and
Amanda's home, he wondered if Becca had finally gotten the hint that Lee wasn't
interested anymore. It was obvious
that she hadn't changed – she still wanted that control she had over Lee once –
but he *had* changed. Drastically. He was married – he'd made that fact
perfectly clear – and Amanda wasn't one of his convenient relationships as he'd
had in the past. As he pulled into the
driveway of 4247 Maplewood, the sky just starting to give hints of dusk, he
knew that he was firmly rooted in his present and future, and Becca wasn't even
a blip on the horizon. And those
little black books had been burned up quite some time ago.
But he still
couldn't shake that niggling feeling that something was going to go wrong. He shook his head, clearing it of the
negative thoughts – something Sarah had told him to do. He decided, as he got out of the Corvette,
that when it came to Becca Dobson being back in town, Amanda had a
need-to-know.
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He walked into
the house to the smells of a beef stew on the stove, and the sounds of his
stepsons quarreling in the den. He
stepped into the den and cleared his throat – Jaime instantly settled down, and
Philip muttered something under his breath about Jaime being a kiss up. Lee shot a look over at Philip, who
immediately got up, grabbed his gear, and headed out of the room. Jaime just shrugged his shoulders and said,
"He's been like this all day – this last argument was about whether or not you
were going to bother showing up for dinner. I don't see why you wouldn't – if you can't make it, you always
call." Jaime turned back towards his
book. Lee walked out of the den, and
looked around. There was no sign of
Philip, or his stuff, which meant he probably had headed upstairs. He saw Amanda working at the gardening bench
in the backyard and headed straight out.
"Dinner smells
wonderful."
"Thank you." Amanda turned slightly to smile at Lee. "It's a good thing that I was working out
here because I heard the car pull up. Otherwise
it would have been a great opportunity for this trowel to behead the
zinnias." She held up the
dirt-encrusted trowel for emphasis, before turning back to her work.
"Amanda. We've got something to talk about."
"Lee, if you're going
to try and talk to me about Philip again, I don't know if I want to hear
it." It was pretty clear that Philip
was still trying to avoid contact with Lee, and his behavior was increasingly
frustrating Amanda. The fact that Jaime
and Lee were getting along as if they'd known each other their whole lives did
little to assuage her feelings.
"No, this is
about an old girlfriend of mine."
Amanda turned to
look at him suspiciously. "Are you
serious?"
"Yes, honey, I
am. Come here. Sit with me." He reached for her hand and led her to the gazebo. They sat down, facing each other, adjusting
their hands to stay in contact with one another. "You know that I've met Billy at a couple of the usual places in
the last couple of days. When I was
there, an old girlfriend of mine stopped at our table."
"Lee, you always
have old girlfriends stopping at your table, or calling you at The Agency. What's so different about this one?"
"She's an
agent. She's just returned from a very,
very long contact zero situation that started to turn bad."
Amanda got a
serious look on her face immediately. "Is she o.k.?"
Lee smiled. "You know, that's one of the things that I
love about you. No matter what you're
facing, even if it sounds really bad, you still are concerned about everyone
involved." Amanda smiled at this, but
Lee continued before she could speak. "Yes, she seems like she's back to her usual self, I'm sorry to say."
Amanda looked
confused. "What's that supposed to
mean?"
"It means that
she's back on the prowl."
"So what? She's heard you're married, right." Amanda
paused. "Lee? You *did* tell her that
you're married and not even remotely interested, right?"
"Yes, of course I
did. Billy was present both times
helping me to try and get away from her."
"Did you just say
'get away from her'? Lee, what was your
relationship like?" Amanda was looking
very curious now, and very concerned.
"It was very
intense. Physically. VERY physically intense. And that's about the long and short of it." Lee looked almost embarrassed to be
explaining this to Amanda, and looked down at his feet for a moment. "We met in a nightclub, we slept together
that night, and I had no idea she was the new agent on the team until I walked
into work the next morning. She worked
her way through most of the agents, old and new, and we kept each other around
because it was convenient. Amanda, I'm
sorry, I know you're not comfortable with this aspect of my past, especially
when you were around for a good part of it, but you have to know about
Rebecca."
"What's her
name?"
"Rebecca
Dobson. Most people call her
Becca. Codename: Boo. Around The Agency, lots of agents called her
Becca-Boo. It was cute, and she was the
farthest thing from cute. And she's
been the farthest thing from cute when she's been coming on to me. I wanted you to know about it in case she
called here, or if we ran into her while we were out somewhere. She's not taking the fact that I'm married
very seriously, and she wants to relive some old times."
Lee stopped to
get a look at Amanda and gauge her reaction to this, but she was looking down
at their hands entwined. He moved so
that he could tip her chin up with the edge of his index finger. "Amanda, she means nothing to me. She never did mean anything more than a good
time. But I don't want her to be a
surprise to you if you cross paths when we get back into The Agency. There's enough going on without you having
to hear more gossip about when I'm going to get bored and leave you, and hearing
Becca's name mixed up in that." Lee
wiggled his finger, which was still under Amanda's chin, trying to get her eyes
to meet his. The movement worked, and a
small smile crooked up the corners of Amanda's mouth.
"There's my
girl. You have nothing to worry about
when it comes to Becca Dobson. She was
one of the names in those black books we burned. Remember that night?" Lee
certainly wasn't about to forget it. He'd given her a present for no reason, the box wrapped in a blue silk
scarf. She loved the scarf, and then
opened the box to find the books. They
were hers as far as he was concerned – to do with as she pleases because he had
no use for them anymore. She asked him
to go pick out a beautiful white wine and some glasses. When he came back, she was sitting
cross-legged in front of the fire, with the blue scarf draped over her white
shirt. It almost took his breath
away. She patted the spot next to her,
and he poured them both a glass of wine. They toasted to each other, and Amanda started ripping pages out and
throwing them into the fireplace.
"Of course I
remember. I still love that
scarf." Amanda smiled reassuringly at
Lee. "I'm not worried. And thank you." She leaned forward and kissed him on the
cheek.
"For what?"
"For being you,
and for being honest with me. Now let's
go have some dinner." She got up, but
Lee tugged her hand to keep her with him for just a moment more. "Is there more?"
"Yup. She's currently heading the Q Bureau while
we're out."
"So… it's
inevitable. I'm going to have to meet
her sometime."
"Yes, you
will. But this time off from The
Agency is making you soft. You missed
something that I said about our jobs."
"I did?" Amanda looked puzzled. "I thought you were just trying to be
positive about us getting our jobs back?"
"Nope. Billy took a little stroll to see the
President and dropped the bomb that we were out of jobs. And the Commander-in-Chief was a little more
than surprised to hear that, especially when Dr. Smyth walked in to have tea."
"Oh, poor Dr.
Smyth." Amanda said this as sincerely
as she could, but the look on her face belied her true intentions behind the
statement.
"Yes, poor Dr.
Smyth. Billy told me to stay optimistic
– we're probably going to have our jobs back sooner than we think."
Amanda
sighed. Her vacation would be
over. She would have to go back into
The Agency and face receiving her firearm back. She shuddered, despite the warm weather, and the motion wasn't
lost on Lee. "Amanda, you'll be
fine." She smiled, got up, and turned
to lead her husband back into the house where dinner was waiting.
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As a result of
their marriage, and the stress between Philip and Lee, Dotty was spending more
and more time with Captain Kurt. This
confused Amanda – it wasn't like her mother to run away from conflict within
the family. Her mother's relationship
with her sister Lillian was proof of that. It wasn't as if it was just Dotty trying to adjust to having Lee
around. They were all trying to get
used to bumping into each other all the time. It wasn't so bad when it had been the two older women and the two young
boys in the house, but now there was an additional adult – a tall, male adult,
at that – and it threw the entire balance of things out of whack. Amanda had no idea if her mother was just
trying to adjust to the marriage, or to the newly added chaos in the house.
Then, of course,
there was the additional problem of the one male adult addition knowing almost
nothing about running a household. Or
how to deal with a broken washing machine – other than to state that they
should take everything out to be dry-cleaned. That alone would be enough to drive anyone to distraction. But Amanda didn't think that that was it
either.
Dinner had been a
quiet affair for a few nights with Dotty spending more time with Captain
Kurt. The boys had both been busy with
friends and summer activities and had been wearing themselves out lately. Amanda had been keeping unusually busy with
charity activities, and Lee was spending as much time as possible talking with
whomever he could to find out any information on why Smyth was suddenly
cracking down on friendships within The Agency. They still had no word on their jobs, but Billy had told them
that Smyth had been absent from The Agency for a few days, and it was just a
matter of time. The only person who
had had any energy to try and keep conversation going was Jaime, but this night
he was exhausted over the day's activities and was barely awake through
dinner. Amanda excused him halfway
through the meal, and he didn't argue the point, but simply went straight
upstairs.
That left Amanda,
Lee and Philip at the table. Lee and
Amanda just kept looking at the older boy, who picked around his food. When he deemed it finished, he simply got up
from the table, kissed his mother on the cheek and left the room. Lee followed the boy's movements until he
was out of sight. He spoke softly,
"That was unusual. I've never seen him
kiss you after dinner is over."
"No, he's never
done that before. But then again, he's
never been this sullen and rude to you before either." Amanda's forehead creased in concern.
"This too, shall
pass. Why don't you take a rest, and
I'll take care of the dishes." Amanda
nodded, as she was too tired as well to argue the point with her husband. She got up from the table and moved towards
the living room. Lee started to clear
the table. He'd often helped Amanda
with the dishes – hand washing and using the dishwasher – so he didn't feel
lost or inept while handling this task.
He loaded all the
dishes carefully, rinsing those that needed it as he went along. He carefully measured the soap, placing it
in the necessary compartments. He then
turned the washer on, and then turned to take care of the leftovers and the pot
that wouldn't fit in the dishwasher.
Once the
leftovers were carefully stashed away in the refrigerator (and Lee thought some
of the chicken casserole they had this night would be just right for lunch the
next day), he turned to put the pot in the kitchen sink to soak. Just as he turned, he noticed that the
dishwasher was very quiet, and the soapy puddle coming out of it was very large.
"Um, Amanda?"
"Hmmm?" She responded sleepily from the living room
couch where she was flipping through a magazine.
"I think I know
what had the suicide pact with the washing machine."
Amanda sat up
immediately to stare with alarm at her husband, holding a very dirty pot in his
hands. She caught sight of the soapy
puddle spreading towards the carpet, groaned and slid back down out of
sight.
