Part 23 - Misunderstanding

9 pm

"Am I being unfair to her?" Xander asked Willow. They were at Giles'
house, supposedly helping him with research on the Ascension.

"Unfair how?" Willow wondered.

"Well," Xander thought for a moment. "We are friends. Or at least I
claimed we were. But the minute things got tough I dropped her. I
guess I feel bad about that."

"You didn't drop her," Willow protested. "You just need time. She
knows that, and she understands."

"Maybe," Xander shrugged. "But I still feel like I'm not being a good
friend."

"You're doing the best you can," Willow said. "But I'm not trying to
discourage you or anything. If you think you can handle being closer
to her, I know she's not going to hate that. She misses you, Xander."

"I miss her too," Xander replied. He was silent for a few moments,
lost in thought, and Willow didn't interrupt. "Hey, Giles, would you
mind if I--"

"Yes, by all means. Go help Buffy," Giles said, not looking up from
his book.

Xander couldn't help chuckling. "Tell me I'm not that transparent,
Wills," he requested.

"No comment," Willow said with a smile.

"That's what I was afraid of," Xander said, and then left the
apartment.

*************
10:30 pm

Xander found Buffy, she was arguing with Angel. That succeeded in
improving his mood, so he watched for a few minutes. Unfortunately
for Xander's mood, the fighting didn't last long.

Buffy smiled at Angel, and Xander felt sick to his stomach. "Truce.
Now, I really do have patrol to finish. Since you're already
here...wanna help?"

"Sure," Angel nodded. "Not because I don't trust you, though."

"Of course not," Buffy replied. "I can always use the help, anyway."

Xander followed them. *I'm here, so I'll just watch for a little bit,
in case she needs me. She won't, you know. Not now that she's got
Angel again, her original slaying partner. I wish I'd known she
wasn't going to be alone, I really didn't need this right now. What
if she'd actually _planned_ to slay with Angel tonight, and just
hadn't told anyone about it?* He decided that possibility wasn't
something he wanted to spend too much time thinking about.

He watched them as they were attacked by a group of vampires. Angel
and Buffy won the fight, without too much difficulty. When they'd
staked the last of the vampires, a very ugly, large, scale-covered
demon attacked them. It attacked Angel first. Angel pulled a knife
out of his pocket, and stabbed the demon in the chest. The demon
threw Angel aside, and he flew into a tree hard then fell to the
ground.

Buffy stared at Angel's still form for a moment in shock, then turned
back to the demon. "Oh you're so going to pay for that. If you think
I'm going to let you get away with hurting my...."

*Boyfriend?* Xander supplied, suspecting that was the word Buffy had
swallowed. It hurt, God it hurt to think that. But he couldn't help
it, he wasn't interested in living in dreamland. He couldn't leave,
either, even though the part of him still interested in preserving
his sanity was screaming to be able to leave. No, he stood and
watched, wondering where he'd gotten his sick obsession with self-
torture.

Buffy traded punches with the demon for a few minutes, then
remembered her stake. She staked him in the heart, but that didn't do
anything other than anger him further. He roared and lifted her,
throwing her to the ground, laughing as she whimpered with pain.

Xander winced, and took a step to go to her, but Angel stepped in. He
was furious, and no longer repressing his own demon. He dove at the
other demon, and hacked at the arm holding the axe with his knife.
The knife made a deep gash, and the demon roared, dropping the axe.
Angel stooped to grab the axe, then came up and swung with as much
strength as he could muster, beheading the demon. The body fell to
the ground, the head rolling several feet away.

"Okay, that was revolting," Buffy said as she sat up slowly. Angel
held out his hands, and helped her up. She looked at him with a small
smile. "And can I add ouch to that?"

"Are you okay?" Angel asked, his face concerned.

"Am _I_ okay? A little sore, but I've definitely been worse. How
about you? You're the one who took the headlong dive into the tree
trunk." She realized her hands were still in his, and pulled away
quickly. She covered the sudden movement by pretending to be
concerned with brushing as much of the yellow demon blood off her
black jeans and dark blue tank top as she could, while making a face.

"Sorry about the mess, I didn't realize it would bleed so much,"
Angel shrugged.

"Let me ask you a question, Angel," Buffy said. "You really thought
that chopping that demon's head off with its own axe _wouldn't_ make
it spurt blood everywhere?"

"I guess I should have said, I didn't _think_ about the fact it would
bleed so much," Angel replied. "I was too determined to make it die."

They regarded the scaly, large demon body on the ground before
them. "What was it?"

"It's a new one to me," Angel shrugged.

"Well, whatever it was, it really didn't want to die," Buffy
said. "Your stabbing it in the heart with a knife didn't work. My
staking it in the heart didn't kill it. And before you say it, yes I
know my move was redundant. I was trying to get my windpipe back,
though, so I succeeded. I'm gladd the beheading worked, it was pretty
much our last resort, since I'd used up my holy water supply with the
vampire attack. So what do we..."

They jumped back as the body burst into flames. "Huh?" Buffy looked
around in confusion, trying to find the source of the fire.

"I don't know," Angel replied. "I would guess that's what happens
when they die."

"Well, I've got a new species to talk to Giles about," Buffy
said. "Now let's go to the cemetery across the street."

Xander watched them walk away, feeling as if he'd been the one who'd
been stabbed in the heart repeatedly. It had all looked too familiar
to him, the way they bantered, the way they held hands, the way they
looked at each other. It wasn't fair. Buffy and Angel could just pick
up from where they'd left off, and he was left in the dust. At the
same time, though, he couldn't be angry. He really did want Buffy to
be happy, and if that meant being with Angel, he'd learn to live with
that fact.

He sighed resignedly and turned away. He started back toward his
house, then changed his mind. He needed a change of scenery, and some
loud music. He needed something to distract himself from the obvious
truth that the one who Buffy needed, wasn't him.

****************