A/N: This is a dark fic. I imagine it to be Tom and his feelings for Lucius.

For Perdita, the little lost one.

***

I want to see you broken. Feel you trembling beneath my fingers make you feel my hurt my pain my dark my lovely my secret. I cry for you tears of blood cries of agony always wanting more craving you my precious my dream my oblivion. Comfort me tempt me hurt me my night my star my peace. Hate you. Loathe you with every cell in my body. Need you so badly want something I can't have empty lifeless hollow without you angry jealous raging with you despise me. I disgust you. It makes me smile no one touches you this way addicting not blood not flesh porcelain silver dream figment of my imagination so real so beautiful kill me over and over again I'm too far gone. You can't help me but I need you still. Stripped you of innocence made you know my desire my hunger my torment my twisted fantasy you always you. Can't touch can't stain can't break you. Ground me shape me can't control me madness love insanity lust. Red so many shades of red. Power submit dominate me make me cringe make me scream. Fill this gaping chasm dead heart no remorse no guilt no relief only more wounds that won't can't heal raw salt tears loneliness exquisite complete not with you never with you my life my soul my grief compounded by you tear me apart and drag the pieces into the harsh light of day kicking screaming. Intense scrutiny. Small beneath your gaze. Wish I could dissect you know you feel your beating heart know it beats for me only me bring down the walls hold you my obsession my victim my thirst grows twofold every passing minute redemption seems impossible nothing is impossible except love. None to spare for me in your cold hardened eyes are portals of ice distant lands I'll never explore. Sheathed carefully inside you my heart breaks even as the pleasure fills me my ecstasy my bliss my escape lets me forget who I am if I close my eyes tight enough can't see your contempt. I can pretend you ached for this my wanton my soul mate my whore. You accept it play along because of what I can give you a madman's tears and body not good enough. You want the world. I can give it to you anything just please don't stop this has gone way beyond your grasp. You never dreamed I had the nerve to take you. Pitiful orphan alone desperate longing for human contact feel of skin on skin lush and sinful my solace my weakness my beauty insignificant in comparison to yours if you want it all that I am or will be my folly my weakness my worst mistake was falling for you hard. I have yet to hit bottom.

***

Comments would be greatly appreciated!

Love,

J. Silver