Part 31

"Angel?" Buffy walked into the mansion, and looked around. She hadn't
spoken to him since the day in the hospital. She'd been too obsessed
with trying to get through to Xander, not that she'd had much success
with that.

She wasn't sure how, or why, but things were clear for her now. She
knew what she wanted, and just hoped it wasn't too late.

"Hi," Angel said, walking out from another room. "I thought I heard
your voice. What's up?"

"I need to talk to you," Buffy said.

"Have a seat?" Angel offered.

"No," Buffy shook her head. "I just - I just need to say this."

"Okay," Angel shrugged and perched on the arm of the couch and waited
for her to continue.

Buffy frowned, not knowing where to start.

"Whatever it is, just say it," Angel said. He smiled, "I'm a big boy,
I can take it."

Buffy couldn't help laughing at that. "It was that obvious?"

"Well, I know you well enough to be able to tell when you're
nervous," Angel replied.

"This isn't easy," Buffy said. "But I think we've both kind of
ignored the issue of us for long enough. At least we've ignored
talking about it, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it."
She paused, and tried to analyze Angel's expression, but he was
giving her the stoic look. No help there. She decided to just say it,
as he'd suggested earlier.

"There was a time when you were my life, Angel. I really thought we
could make it work. But fate proved me wrong. And when I had to kill
you, I wouldn't have been able to make it without my friends. I think
I tried to convince myself and you, when you came back, that it
meant we were supposed to try to make it work. But I guess at some
point I also realized that there wasn't any way _for_ us to make this
work. I think any hopes for us making it died along with Jenny
Calendar."

"I agree with you," Angel replied, with a resigned expression on his
face. "But even if that weren't the case, I have the feeling you want
something different now anyway."

"I hate this, Angel. I don't want to hurt you, I do care about you so
much--"

"I know you do, Buffy," Angel said with a sad smile. "Don't worry
about me, though, I'll be fine."

"You know, you're not acting really surprised about this," Buffy
said, "Why is that?"

"I saw you two together, before you knew I was back, remember," Angel
replied with a shrug. "It was obvious that you love him, and he loves
you."

Buffy looked at him a moment, in shocked silence that Angel was
taking the situation so well. *I don't know what I expected, anyway.
He's just trying to do the right thing. But it can't be easy.* "Thank
you," she finally said.

"For what?"

"For not making this harder than it already is," Buffy replied.

"Don't thank me, Buffy, just be happy," Angel said. "It's all I
really want for you."

"I'm working on it," Buffy said with a shrug. "I should go."

Angel nodded, and she turned to leave. She turned back at the door,
to see him still perched on the arm of the couch. "Angel? You're
not .... going anywhere, are you?" she asked, walking back inside, a
worried expression on her face.

"I told you I'd stay to help you with the Ascension," he reminded her
with a smile. "That hasn't changed."

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. "Good," she said. "I was hoping
you'd say that."

"I'd like to think we're friends, Buffy," Angel said. "I'll always be
around to help you if you need it."

Buffy smiled, "We are friends," she said. "And I' don't think I'll
ever not need your help, Angel."

She turned to go again, but stopped in the doorway. She turned around
again, and regarded him silently. She walked over to him, and wrapped
her arms around his neck, resting her cheek against his. Angel took
only a minute to recover from the surprise, putting his arms around
her waist. "I'll only remember the good memories, Angel. Always," she
said softly.

Angel sighed, and said, "Me too, Buffy."

He felt her nod and pull away, and he released her. He knew she
didn't want him to see, but he did see the tears in her eyes as she
turned away again and left the mansion. She never saw as he sat there
for a while, finally letting the tears fall as well.

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