I fell back onto my hospital bed, exhausted. I could still smell the soup
as it cooled in a puddle on the floor. After Miranda had left, Lizzie kept
telling me that I didn't need Miranda, that if only we could be together,
we wouldn't need a horrible person like her. And I kept thinking, " What
did she ever do to you, except be the best best friend she could be?" But
all I did was nod and act like I agreed. What could I say? Besides, I
just didn't have the energy to argue with her. She kissed me on the
forehead and walked out, leaving me feeling dirty and used and just
terrible, and I remembered why I had jumped off my roof. To get away from
Lizzie, not Miranda, not my problems (of which I had many, most as yet
unmentioned), not anything but Lizzie. Her dishonesty, her manipulation of
everything and everyone made me physically sick, and the nurse had to come
in and sit with me with a bowl while I lost whatever I had eaten most
recently.
After a couple more hours of sleep, I woke up with a dull pounding in my forehead and the smell of the soup gone. I slowly sat up and, for the first time, inspected my room. I saw a phone across the room. I tried reaching for it, desperate to call Miranda, but I couldn't reach it. I prayed that she would come back. But Lizzie came back. I wanted to be sick again, but all I could do was stare as she sat on the bed next to me, smiling and talking sweetly to me about nothing and school. Finally, it felt like I was waking up. I glared at her.
" L--Lizzie, have you ever once, in y--your entire life, st--stopped to consider another living human being?" Miranda's face as she saw Lizzie kissing me filled my mind. Now I really wanted to be sick. She looked at me, surprised. Or maybe just stupidly. I never really thought of Lizzie as stupid, but I realized that she was never very intelligent. Maybe I was just blinded by what I thought was love and had turned out to be lust.
Comprehension finally creeped into Lizzie's gaze.
" You've been talking to Miranda, haven't you? What did she tell you about me? Gordo, why would you listen to her?" I didn't need to think about that one.
" B--because she--she hasn't hurt me, Lizzie. She w--was never embarrassed of m--me. And she never used me or l--lied to me." She stood up, and I motioned for her to leave. She didn't move, and I hit the nurse call button.
" Gordo, listen to me." How could I not? But I didn't reply, anyway. " Gordo! Gordo, I care about you. Why do you think I would come back, if I didn't care about you?" She almost had a point, and I might have believed her, if I didn't know her better, and if I hadn't seen her expression of glee when she had seen Miranda so hurt. So I didn't answer, not until the nurse came in with another bowl. Then I whispered only one word to her.
" Goodbye." I didn't even see her leave. I was too busy trying not to throw up until she was gone. The entire situation made me heave. I felt like I was going to die, a horrible, gruesome execution, and my last request was just to see Miranda one last time and tell her how much I loved her.
After a couple more hours of sleep, I woke up with a dull pounding in my forehead and the smell of the soup gone. I slowly sat up and, for the first time, inspected my room. I saw a phone across the room. I tried reaching for it, desperate to call Miranda, but I couldn't reach it. I prayed that she would come back. But Lizzie came back. I wanted to be sick again, but all I could do was stare as she sat on the bed next to me, smiling and talking sweetly to me about nothing and school. Finally, it felt like I was waking up. I glared at her.
" L--Lizzie, have you ever once, in y--your entire life, st--stopped to consider another living human being?" Miranda's face as she saw Lizzie kissing me filled my mind. Now I really wanted to be sick. She looked at me, surprised. Or maybe just stupidly. I never really thought of Lizzie as stupid, but I realized that she was never very intelligent. Maybe I was just blinded by what I thought was love and had turned out to be lust.
Comprehension finally creeped into Lizzie's gaze.
" You've been talking to Miranda, haven't you? What did she tell you about me? Gordo, why would you listen to her?" I didn't need to think about that one.
" B--because she--she hasn't hurt me, Lizzie. She w--was never embarrassed of m--me. And she never used me or l--lied to me." She stood up, and I motioned for her to leave. She didn't move, and I hit the nurse call button.
" Gordo, listen to me." How could I not? But I didn't reply, anyway. " Gordo! Gordo, I care about you. Why do you think I would come back, if I didn't care about you?" She almost had a point, and I might have believed her, if I didn't know her better, and if I hadn't seen her expression of glee when she had seen Miranda so hurt. So I didn't answer, not until the nurse came in with another bowl. Then I whispered only one word to her.
" Goodbye." I didn't even see her leave. I was too busy trying not to throw up until she was gone. The entire situation made me heave. I felt like I was going to die, a horrible, gruesome execution, and my last request was just to see Miranda one last time and tell her how much I loved her.
