Hello! First off I would like to thank you in advance for reading this! But
I must warm you about a little thing called slash. It's this little bug
that creeps up and bites you, making you gay! ^_^ Kidding.. slash is a
male/male relationship. Don't like the picture? Don't read the fic.
Disclaimer: Yes I own Harry, Draco and all that is hp. Did I mention I'm a chronic liar? I'd like to tell you about two characters that are completely made up, Star and Kaleb. Star is CrystalStarGuardians (Read her fics!) and Kaleb is mine. I'm just borrowing them to do my bidding. Ehehe ^_^;
Dedication: To my beta-reader-to-the-extreme-times-infinity-and-beyond, CrystalStarGuardian. She even wrote two of the memories featured below ^_~ Crystal I have no idea where I'd be with you so this is my way of saying 'Thanks. And cont. your fics!' ^_^
Enjoy!
It was supposed to be this way.
I understand that now. That all of this was supposed to happen to me. I was supposed to become a Death Eater and lick Lord Voldemort's boots. I was supposed to hate all of the good wizarding world; the ones who fought for truth and justice, and yes, love.
But miraculously, I didn't. I couldn't go against the ones I loved so much. The *one* I loved so much; that still to this day haunts my thoughts and plagues my dreams.
It happened in our 6th year thanks to Star and Kaleb. Gods bless their souls. I know what would have happened if they hadn't prodded into my life and turned my whole world upside down. I would have become a bloodthirsty henchman for the worst man to walk this earth. Brilliant, yes, but horrible.
And then there's him. Oh there's so much I could say. I could tell you a hundred and one ways to make him laugh, yell, cry and moan all at the once. It was destined to be this way. We were made for each other; born in each other's eyes and dead when one was out of sight. I can't even begin to explain how much I felt for him. *Feel* for him. No matter how long it's been since I've seen those pools of emerald reserved only for me, or felt his warm, caressing touch, I can't forget. I don't want to. I never even tried.
I bite my lip as a prickling sensation nags at my eyes. I've only cried in front of three people; the only people I ever really cared about my whole life.
"Star." It pains me to think of her fate. I still remember our endless arguments about nothing at all. I remember all the Pansy bashing we did. And I remember the unbreakable bond between us. Yes, I remember everything. She was the first one there for me. She gave me hope when I had given up on myself. Slowly she fed me back my pride, my life, what it means to truly be living. And I did the same for her.
We both knew it. We knew each other like no one else could. It was like this connection that never breaks. No, not even when she's gone. I still feel her sometimes. I wince. I remember everything about her. How her hair was always soft and always hid her left eye no matter how much I messed with it. How her eyes only unveiled emotion when we used to cry in each other's embrace. We were never sexual. We couldn't do that to each other. There was no point in destroying a bond we both worked so hard to build. We tried it once. We kissed in 3rd year. The ghost of a smile taints my usual façade as I go back to remembering.
//"Star?" Draco asked quietly as he subconsciously held onto her tighter. She just received a usual owl from her parents. One promising pain and torture if she was doing something that was against the rules listed in the 'How to Become an Evil Genius' handbook.
She didn't reply. Instead she continued to cry on his shoulder, the warm liquid drops seeping into his expensive robes. He didn't care.
"Star?"
"Yeah?" she croaked back.
"I-" He gently raised her face with his hand so he could look into her eyes. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't stop to think about anything except the silver orbs in front of him, mirroring his own pain. And he wanted to kiss it away, her pain as well as his.
And then he did it. He felt himself kissing Star. It was an odd experience that ended quickly.
She smirked slightly as her head dropped back on his shoulder, too weak to stand up on its own. "That felt like kissing my grandfather."//
No, that kind of relationship was not promising. I grin thinking of that moment. It's a wonder I still remember all this. I guess the truly memorable things never leave you. They just store themselves until the right time comes for them to pop out.
But now that I think of Star, she's been more then a sister ever could. She's like my other half. She's like me. She *is* me. We think alike. We always have. I'd already know what she was going to say before she even opened her mouth.
Alas, along with the good times must come the bad. My stomach drops as I think of the reason why she isn't here anymore. Why she isn't sitting by my side telling me everything's ok. And telling me it's ok to let go. That it's ok to depart this world because I'm still clinging to it, to what I had. I can't ever let go.
// The Death Eaters had all assembled together in a large circle, the hoods of their dark cloaks over their heads to hide their faces from view. Draco was among them, trying not to tremble at what was happening within the circle. He couldn't blow his cover, no matter how hard it was.
In the center was Star, her clothes torn in places and blood marking her pale skin. Crabbe and Goyle, also Death Eaters, were holding her up because she was too weak to stand on her own.
"Star Pellerin," Voldemort's deep voice boomed as he stood before her. "Did you think we wouldn't discover your secret? Did Dumbledore tell you you'd be safe? The old fool!"
Despite the pain she was in from the torture she'd been subjected to, Star looked defiantly at the Dark Lord.
"Dumbledore will *always* be stronger then you! Voldemort, you know it as well as I do! In the end, you will be destroyed. Harry Potter will kill you once and for all!"
She cried out in pain as the two men holding her tightened their grips, pinning her arms behind her back.
Voldemort laughed loudly and mockingly, "Harry Potter, defeat me, you say? My dear child, I will make sure that pathetic *boy* falls at my feet. As he should."
Draco bit his lip so hard he could taste crimson, metallic blood. He ached to say something, *anything* to stop this and stick up for his love. But he couldn't.
Star glared defiantly, "You'll be singing a different tune when the time comes, Voldemort. I promise you."
"Enough!" Voldemort spat bitterly. "For your loyalty to Potter and Dumbledore, I sentence you to death." He looked to his Death Eaters, "Which of you will carry out the deed of destroying this traitor?"
"Allow me, my Lord," a Death Eater stepped forth. He pulled back his hood, and both Draco and Star gasped upon seeing the face visible in the moonlight.
"Father," Star said, almost pleadingly. "Why?"
"You are not my daughter," Sebastian Pellerin spat. "You're a traitor and a disgrace. Any last words?"
Star's gray eyes flicked to Draco, and though she remained silent, he could clearly see the question in her eyes. She wanted to be sure he'd be okay. Draco nodded faintly, wishing he could speak to her. Wishing he could just hug her one more time. Star understood. She smiled a little at him; her face becoming full of hatred once more when she looked upon her father. She stumbled slightly when Crabbe and Goyle released her, stepping back.
"No."
"Very well." Sebastian raised his wand, pointing the tip at his only child. "Avada Kedavra!"
There was a green flash; Star Pellerin lay on the ground. Dead.//
The tears roll freely now, down my face and into the blankets beneath me. She didn't deserve that. That's not how she should have died. If I were asked to switch places with her, I'd do it in a second.
For a moment I stop crying. If that had been me, my love would be here on the verge of death instead. I wouldn't want him to hurt like I ache right now.
When I think of Star and her life, another person's face creeps up along with it. Blonde hair and protective arms around my other half. I see it all in my mind and a small smile touches my lips.
"Kaleb." She was always the kind of person who could make you smile even if she just woke you up at 3 in the morning with a muggle radio blasting right next to your ear.
In school, she was partly responsible for hooking me up with him. I am eternally grateful. Without that, ah, not so friendly push in the right direction, like I said before, I would be nothing. I would become my own worst nightmare.
We never were the greatest of 'friends.' We were familiar acquaintances. The friend of my boyfriend and the love of my best friend, how could we not be? But I only had two years to become close, and with everything else going on in the wizarding world my love was my first priority.
She was what kept me going after it all happened. She was in the same boat I was. And we cried on each other for hours on end with no words spoken, nothing sparred. I still remember the day she showed up on my doorstep the day after.
//Draco was sitting on the plush sofa in his family's overly furnished room. He stared at the opposite wall, lost in his thoughts and struck with pain so immense he felt numb.
There was a timid knock on the door. He blinked and stood and for a split second thought maybe it was Star. She was the only one that knocked. As he walked over to it he realized that it would not be Star, Star would never knock on that door again.
The sight that met his eyes made him gasp. "Kaleb?"
And the girl, looking distraught and traumatized, flung herself on Draco's neck immediately and broke down with eyes that looked like they had already done so a hundred times that morning.
He hugged her back and let his own tears go. He hadn't thought about how Kaleb would feel until he actually saw the raw pain in her face, mimicking the pain in her heart.
And they stood that way for hours, crying and sobbing on each other; murmuring promises that it would be all right although never quite believing it themselves.//
And now? Well, I'm positive she would be living still if it hadn't been for Fred's death soon after Star's. It was too much for her, and I understand. I just can't deal with the fact that this girl, always happy and smiling and joking, could become what she did. Love is the greatest pain in the world; whether it is a love for your mother, friend or significant other. I have learned that now. Love is the reason why people become insane.
//Draco, George and a few of Kaleb's siblings, including her muggle twin Chase, had decided to visit Kaleb at St. Mungo's.
It was a sorry sight, seeing the girl broken through the glass of her room; curled tightly into a ball on the floor in the fetal position. Sometimes she started yelling things like "DON'T LEAVE ME! IT ISN'T RIGHT" and "SHUT UP I LOVE YOU." The other times she would just sob and rock back and forth.
They were allowed to go in and talk to her for a brief time. Chase was first and came out looking worse then he did when he went in.
"Doesn't recognize me," he muttered to them, completely shocked.
George went next. The first thing he did was pick the girl up and hug her tightly. She didn't object and for a split second it was like she was back to herself again, giving him a look of remembrance. But it flickered and died, and she was once again a puddle of pain on the floor. But he didn't let go for a good while, his tears washing onto her.
Then it was Draco's turn.
He sat down in a chair across from her and just stared. Stared at what she was and, even though he didn't know it then, stared at what he would become.
"Kaleb. S-she loved you, you know," he stuttered never knowing if she heard him or not although he could have sworn a smile crossed her face.
The next night she killed herself unable to deal with the pain so immensely settled in her heart.//
I never thought someone could become so broken until I experienced it myself.
"Harry Potter." The name is still comfortable on my tongue, as if it's been engraved in my soul for all eternity. Like it was the most natural thing in the world.
And I ache. Not only in my body but also in my heart. Harry, I loved you then, I love you now, and I'll love you until time stops and the world, as we know it, fades away into nothing. But even then, I'll still love you.
I'm sorry I never told you how I felt. But somehow I think you knew anyway. Every time I tried my throat would close up, and you'd give me this picture perfect smile and would nod and say "I know." Maybe I just needed to hear myself say it. To admit to myself that I loved you and you-, you loved me too.
I find myself crying again, half with joy, half with sadness and all with pain. And the memories start flooding through me like a stream, one following the next.
//Draco and Harry were sitting together on the windowsill of Draco's room, looking out through the glass and into the night. Harry's back was to Draco's chest as he leaned against the other boy, Draco's arms around him.
Harry was smiling as he looked into the night, liking the warmth the other boy was radiating. It was a little odd, since Draco was normally so cold to the touch. He expressed this feeling to the other boy.
"You make me warm," Draco murmured, amused.
Harry couldn't help but blush at that, feeling like a love-struck girl. "I guess this means we should thank the girls?"
"Why bother? It'll just make their egos that much bigger," Draco laughed. "I don't know about Kaleb, but Star doesn't need an ego bust."
"Neither does Kaleb," chuckled Harry.
They were silent again, just enjoying each other's company.
"I think I really love you," Draco murmured.
Harry sat up, turning as best he could without falling off the seat. His emerald eyes locked with Draco's, sparkling behind his glasses.
"I love you too, Draco," he smiled.
The Slytherin smiled back before pulling Harry towards him for a kiss, expressing in that contact how deeply he felt for the other boy. When they separated, Harry laid against Draco's chest, sighing happily in content. Draco wrapped his arms around him, once more looking outside. The stars reflected in his gray eyes.
"Tonight, Harry, is ours."
"Not just tonight," Harry said, nuzzling Draco's chest with his cheek. "Forever."//
//"Oh. My. Gods." Harry's eyes searched the lavish London flat, surprise making him look so yummy it should be illegal. "This is amazing!" He looked at Draco with complete shock; who in turn shook his head and walked in with a smile, tossing their bags on the floor.
"Simple things always amaze simple minds."
Harry instead was fooling around with anything he could get his hands on; the refrigerator, the bathroom fixtures, the computer that was hooked up to the witch wide web.
Draco let out a chuckle as he flopped onto the brand new couch, watching his lover with a hungry look in his eyes.
Harry, being too rapt up in a web site dedicated to the greatest seekers of all time, didn't notice Draco's look, which made him annoyed as hell.
"Harry stop fucking with that and fuck with me instead!"
Harry stopped and turned to look at him, a wide smile stretching on his face. "Gee Draco you always had a way with words."
He rolled his eyes in response and stretched his body out. They were 24 now. The war was, thankfully, on it's way out and Harry and Draco had thought it was the best time to settle down. With Harry being one of the best Aurors the Ministry had, and Draco being one of the most important double agents they possessed, it was about time.
With a flick of the wrist Draco lit the fire in the grate so it was a roaring mass of flames. Harry gave him a quizzical look.
"It's August."
"I know."
"So what's with the fire?"
"I think it's sensual."
Harry couldn't help but erupt with giggles. Draco threw him the best annoyed look he could muster.
"Ok Mr. Suddenly-Fire-is-Sensual, lets take a picture in front of the sexy fire, shall we?"
Draco's look faltered as a smile was brought to the surface. "Oh is it one of those pictures where we're naked?"
"No," Harry said as he fished through his bags for a camera. "It's a 'It's Our First Home' picture. A fully clothed one at that," he added seeing Draco's still excited expression, which fell into a pout when he was done.
"Damn."
"C'mere." Harry magicked the camera so it would hover and take pictures without the use of their hands. Draco sulked over to Harry, who wrapped his arms around his neck.
Harry prodded his face. "Smile!"
The corners of his mouth moved upward slightly.
"I said smile!"
Draco glared.
"Oh I get what you're playing at," he whispered devilishly into his ear, trailing his tongue around its surface, causing the other boy to shudder.
"Smile so we can get good use out of this fire."
Draco's mouth shot up to his eyes causing Harry to laugh and hold on tighter.
"Smile!"
::click::
"Smile again!" Draco put his arms around his lover's waist.
::click::
"Smi-" Draco had turned so they were facing each other and soon Draco's lips were on Harry's'.
::click::
Harry kissed back, the passion reserved only for Draco showing through.
::click::
And soon Draco's hands were raking through Harry's hair, pressing their bodies together so they were perfectly aligned.
::click click::
And even sooner they found themselves on the rug in front of the fire, forgetting the camera was on.//
//"Harry what in the devil is that?" Draco pointed to the small bulge in the other's pocket.
Harry blushed slightly as he looked at where he was pointing.
"I was going to save this for later but.."
They were 26 now. Slightly older, slightly wiser but still very much in love.
Harry looked at Draco with a smile and pulled out a velvet box. Draco eyed it curiously.
Slowly Harry got down on one knee, causing the other to gasp ever so slightly.
"Harry-"
He ignored him and instead opened the box; exposing shiny metal in the light. Two silver bands lay winking in the velvet box. Engagement rings actually.
"Oh Harry-" This time Draco's voice was caught in his throat and he couldn't say anything more.
"Let's go to Holland." Harry looked at him with a wide smile as he took one ring out and held Draco's hand. "After the war. We'll get married. We'll elope! Hell I don't care as long as you're the one wearing this ring."
"Yes" was Draco's breathless response. He was still too much in shock to trust anything he said.
As Harry slipped the ring on his finger and Draco did the same to him, Harry pulled him into a tight embrace; one promising that he would never let go of this, of *him*. Ever.//
//"You promise? You promise you'll come back?" Draco's voice was soft, and uncharacteristically laced with a small plea. His silver eyes shimmered with unshed tears.
He was scared, of course. They had talked about it before. Everyday they put their lives on the line to help innocent people, wizards and muggles alike. And each time a sinking feeling wrapped around Draco. Every time he watched Harry walk out that door he knew it might be the last time. Every time *he* walked out that door he feared it would be the last time. Just because Harry had defeated Voldemort once and for all didn't mean his followers were pleased.
They were now 35 and the war had long been over although work had prevented them from actually tying the knot.
Harry looked at him and forced a small reassuring smile. This was the moment of truth. Give him closure and return in 15 minutes tops, he told himself. "Of course. I promise."
And he wrapped his arms around Draco.
"Let me go with you," Draco whispered, never taking his eyes off Harry's.
"No" was the firm response. "They know you're an agent. They'd kill you."
"Yeah and what about you, huh? You're not immortal, Harry, *and* you're more wanted dead then alive."
For once Harry looked a little uncertain. "I'll be careful."
Draco sighed. He knew he couldn't sway Harry's mind so there was no point in trying. He instead pressed his lips to Harry's, a warm reminder of why he put up with all the stress. It was sweet and tender and lasted forever. Draco could heartbreakingly feel the fear in the other boy. He plainly didn't want to go. But he had to.
Draco watched as Harry held him for a few more moments, whispering sweet words into his ear. Then all too quickly Harry got up and slipped on his cloak.
"Harry I-I.." Harry turned to look at him, a kind smile that pierced a little piece of Draco's soul. It was one of those looks that you remember forever.
In a few steps Harry closed the distance between them and give him the most touching, passionate kiss. Draco almost cried. Almost.
"I know," he whispered softly, his eyes revealing the truth of it all. The love he felt for this one person. The love he felt for Draco Malfoy.
And then turned and walked to the door, and with a last look back, he was gone.
He never kept his promise.//
I still have the pictures you know. I keep them close to me wherever I go. Once I left them on the counter and I just didn't feel complete. Like was a half. And the ring, well, I haven't removed it since. I looked at it, smiling through my tears.
Harry you were my angel; blessed with emerald green eyes that made my knees weak ever time I looked into them, and messy black hair that begged to be touched. You were everything I wasn't and for that I thank you. Thank you for letting me believe in love and second chances. Thank you for making me believe that evil wasn't the only choice. Thank you for loving me. You were my sanity and, even though I can't see you, I know you're still keeping me here, letting me remember you with my thoughts and memories. Without them I would, truly, go insane.
I was brought up to let no one into my life and to never know who I really was; what was really ticking in my head. Star broke through that first. But you, you were completely different. You are still this perfect image of all that is good, brave, just and loyal. But you were not perfect, because you loved me. I still wonder sometimes why was it that you went out on a limb and saved me from the depths of hell. I don't understand it, but yet I do. Love turns you into someone your not. *You* turned me into something I'm not, so maybe you are love in disguise.
Don't get me wrong; all that was in Harry/Draco land was not perfect. I remember quite clearly that fight we had during out 13th Christmas, and you kicked me out. Hard times that was. I thought I really had lost you forever. Thank gods you're as forgiving as you are kind.
I smile a little and attempt to wipe the wetness that has gathered on my face in all my reminiscing. Of course it hurts to know you're not here. Of course it hurts to know I won't wake up with you in my arms. Of course it hurts to know I won't see your beautiful face bathed in moonlight *ever* *again*.
But Harry I promise I'll find you. Not in this world but in the next. Even if it takes me a thousand years, I'll do it. Even if I look different or act different, I'm still me. And Harry? Mark my words, I intend to keep this promise.
Lying on his deathbed, Draco Malfoy, now 131 years old to date, reflected how his world once was. Fragile with age, he lived in the Malfoy Manor by himself; no house elves, no ghouls in the attic, just himself and his lonely thoughts.
Hours later he finally drifted off to sleep; lost in dreams of Harry and his friends, and a past he so wished he could relive.
He never woke up the next day.
Miles away at that exact moment, a baby boy was born and was being rocked gently in his mother's arms. Oblivious to the fact that during his lifetime he would experience hell too many times to count, and that he would be graced with a name for the sole purpose that it allegedly held a terrible story, he allowed sleep to overtake him to a world he would, in later years, wish was a reality.
---
This is *not* the end! There will be more chapters to come!
Disclaimer: Yes I own Harry, Draco and all that is hp. Did I mention I'm a chronic liar? I'd like to tell you about two characters that are completely made up, Star and Kaleb. Star is CrystalStarGuardians (Read her fics!) and Kaleb is mine. I'm just borrowing them to do my bidding. Ehehe ^_^;
Dedication: To my beta-reader-to-the-extreme-times-infinity-and-beyond, CrystalStarGuardian. She even wrote two of the memories featured below ^_~ Crystal I have no idea where I'd be with you so this is my way of saying 'Thanks. And cont. your fics!' ^_^
Enjoy!
It was supposed to be this way.
I understand that now. That all of this was supposed to happen to me. I was supposed to become a Death Eater and lick Lord Voldemort's boots. I was supposed to hate all of the good wizarding world; the ones who fought for truth and justice, and yes, love.
But miraculously, I didn't. I couldn't go against the ones I loved so much. The *one* I loved so much; that still to this day haunts my thoughts and plagues my dreams.
It happened in our 6th year thanks to Star and Kaleb. Gods bless their souls. I know what would have happened if they hadn't prodded into my life and turned my whole world upside down. I would have become a bloodthirsty henchman for the worst man to walk this earth. Brilliant, yes, but horrible.
And then there's him. Oh there's so much I could say. I could tell you a hundred and one ways to make him laugh, yell, cry and moan all at the once. It was destined to be this way. We were made for each other; born in each other's eyes and dead when one was out of sight. I can't even begin to explain how much I felt for him. *Feel* for him. No matter how long it's been since I've seen those pools of emerald reserved only for me, or felt his warm, caressing touch, I can't forget. I don't want to. I never even tried.
I bite my lip as a prickling sensation nags at my eyes. I've only cried in front of three people; the only people I ever really cared about my whole life.
"Star." It pains me to think of her fate. I still remember our endless arguments about nothing at all. I remember all the Pansy bashing we did. And I remember the unbreakable bond between us. Yes, I remember everything. She was the first one there for me. She gave me hope when I had given up on myself. Slowly she fed me back my pride, my life, what it means to truly be living. And I did the same for her.
We both knew it. We knew each other like no one else could. It was like this connection that never breaks. No, not even when she's gone. I still feel her sometimes. I wince. I remember everything about her. How her hair was always soft and always hid her left eye no matter how much I messed with it. How her eyes only unveiled emotion when we used to cry in each other's embrace. We were never sexual. We couldn't do that to each other. There was no point in destroying a bond we both worked so hard to build. We tried it once. We kissed in 3rd year. The ghost of a smile taints my usual façade as I go back to remembering.
//"Star?" Draco asked quietly as he subconsciously held onto her tighter. She just received a usual owl from her parents. One promising pain and torture if she was doing something that was against the rules listed in the 'How to Become an Evil Genius' handbook.
She didn't reply. Instead she continued to cry on his shoulder, the warm liquid drops seeping into his expensive robes. He didn't care.
"Star?"
"Yeah?" she croaked back.
"I-" He gently raised her face with his hand so he could look into her eyes. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't stop to think about anything except the silver orbs in front of him, mirroring his own pain. And he wanted to kiss it away, her pain as well as his.
And then he did it. He felt himself kissing Star. It was an odd experience that ended quickly.
She smirked slightly as her head dropped back on his shoulder, too weak to stand up on its own. "That felt like kissing my grandfather."//
No, that kind of relationship was not promising. I grin thinking of that moment. It's a wonder I still remember all this. I guess the truly memorable things never leave you. They just store themselves until the right time comes for them to pop out.
But now that I think of Star, she's been more then a sister ever could. She's like my other half. She's like me. She *is* me. We think alike. We always have. I'd already know what she was going to say before she even opened her mouth.
Alas, along with the good times must come the bad. My stomach drops as I think of the reason why she isn't here anymore. Why she isn't sitting by my side telling me everything's ok. And telling me it's ok to let go. That it's ok to depart this world because I'm still clinging to it, to what I had. I can't ever let go.
// The Death Eaters had all assembled together in a large circle, the hoods of their dark cloaks over their heads to hide their faces from view. Draco was among them, trying not to tremble at what was happening within the circle. He couldn't blow his cover, no matter how hard it was.
In the center was Star, her clothes torn in places and blood marking her pale skin. Crabbe and Goyle, also Death Eaters, were holding her up because she was too weak to stand on her own.
"Star Pellerin," Voldemort's deep voice boomed as he stood before her. "Did you think we wouldn't discover your secret? Did Dumbledore tell you you'd be safe? The old fool!"
Despite the pain she was in from the torture she'd been subjected to, Star looked defiantly at the Dark Lord.
"Dumbledore will *always* be stronger then you! Voldemort, you know it as well as I do! In the end, you will be destroyed. Harry Potter will kill you once and for all!"
She cried out in pain as the two men holding her tightened their grips, pinning her arms behind her back.
Voldemort laughed loudly and mockingly, "Harry Potter, defeat me, you say? My dear child, I will make sure that pathetic *boy* falls at my feet. As he should."
Draco bit his lip so hard he could taste crimson, metallic blood. He ached to say something, *anything* to stop this and stick up for his love. But he couldn't.
Star glared defiantly, "You'll be singing a different tune when the time comes, Voldemort. I promise you."
"Enough!" Voldemort spat bitterly. "For your loyalty to Potter and Dumbledore, I sentence you to death." He looked to his Death Eaters, "Which of you will carry out the deed of destroying this traitor?"
"Allow me, my Lord," a Death Eater stepped forth. He pulled back his hood, and both Draco and Star gasped upon seeing the face visible in the moonlight.
"Father," Star said, almost pleadingly. "Why?"
"You are not my daughter," Sebastian Pellerin spat. "You're a traitor and a disgrace. Any last words?"
Star's gray eyes flicked to Draco, and though she remained silent, he could clearly see the question in her eyes. She wanted to be sure he'd be okay. Draco nodded faintly, wishing he could speak to her. Wishing he could just hug her one more time. Star understood. She smiled a little at him; her face becoming full of hatred once more when she looked upon her father. She stumbled slightly when Crabbe and Goyle released her, stepping back.
"No."
"Very well." Sebastian raised his wand, pointing the tip at his only child. "Avada Kedavra!"
There was a green flash; Star Pellerin lay on the ground. Dead.//
The tears roll freely now, down my face and into the blankets beneath me. She didn't deserve that. That's not how she should have died. If I were asked to switch places with her, I'd do it in a second.
For a moment I stop crying. If that had been me, my love would be here on the verge of death instead. I wouldn't want him to hurt like I ache right now.
When I think of Star and her life, another person's face creeps up along with it. Blonde hair and protective arms around my other half. I see it all in my mind and a small smile touches my lips.
"Kaleb." She was always the kind of person who could make you smile even if she just woke you up at 3 in the morning with a muggle radio blasting right next to your ear.
In school, she was partly responsible for hooking me up with him. I am eternally grateful. Without that, ah, not so friendly push in the right direction, like I said before, I would be nothing. I would become my own worst nightmare.
We never were the greatest of 'friends.' We were familiar acquaintances. The friend of my boyfriend and the love of my best friend, how could we not be? But I only had two years to become close, and with everything else going on in the wizarding world my love was my first priority.
She was what kept me going after it all happened. She was in the same boat I was. And we cried on each other for hours on end with no words spoken, nothing sparred. I still remember the day she showed up on my doorstep the day after.
//Draco was sitting on the plush sofa in his family's overly furnished room. He stared at the opposite wall, lost in his thoughts and struck with pain so immense he felt numb.
There was a timid knock on the door. He blinked and stood and for a split second thought maybe it was Star. She was the only one that knocked. As he walked over to it he realized that it would not be Star, Star would never knock on that door again.
The sight that met his eyes made him gasp. "Kaleb?"
And the girl, looking distraught and traumatized, flung herself on Draco's neck immediately and broke down with eyes that looked like they had already done so a hundred times that morning.
He hugged her back and let his own tears go. He hadn't thought about how Kaleb would feel until he actually saw the raw pain in her face, mimicking the pain in her heart.
And they stood that way for hours, crying and sobbing on each other; murmuring promises that it would be all right although never quite believing it themselves.//
And now? Well, I'm positive she would be living still if it hadn't been for Fred's death soon after Star's. It was too much for her, and I understand. I just can't deal with the fact that this girl, always happy and smiling and joking, could become what she did. Love is the greatest pain in the world; whether it is a love for your mother, friend or significant other. I have learned that now. Love is the reason why people become insane.
//Draco, George and a few of Kaleb's siblings, including her muggle twin Chase, had decided to visit Kaleb at St. Mungo's.
It was a sorry sight, seeing the girl broken through the glass of her room; curled tightly into a ball on the floor in the fetal position. Sometimes she started yelling things like "DON'T LEAVE ME! IT ISN'T RIGHT" and "SHUT UP I LOVE YOU." The other times she would just sob and rock back and forth.
They were allowed to go in and talk to her for a brief time. Chase was first and came out looking worse then he did when he went in.
"Doesn't recognize me," he muttered to them, completely shocked.
George went next. The first thing he did was pick the girl up and hug her tightly. She didn't object and for a split second it was like she was back to herself again, giving him a look of remembrance. But it flickered and died, and she was once again a puddle of pain on the floor. But he didn't let go for a good while, his tears washing onto her.
Then it was Draco's turn.
He sat down in a chair across from her and just stared. Stared at what she was and, even though he didn't know it then, stared at what he would become.
"Kaleb. S-she loved you, you know," he stuttered never knowing if she heard him or not although he could have sworn a smile crossed her face.
The next night she killed herself unable to deal with the pain so immensely settled in her heart.//
I never thought someone could become so broken until I experienced it myself.
"Harry Potter." The name is still comfortable on my tongue, as if it's been engraved in my soul for all eternity. Like it was the most natural thing in the world.
And I ache. Not only in my body but also in my heart. Harry, I loved you then, I love you now, and I'll love you until time stops and the world, as we know it, fades away into nothing. But even then, I'll still love you.
I'm sorry I never told you how I felt. But somehow I think you knew anyway. Every time I tried my throat would close up, and you'd give me this picture perfect smile and would nod and say "I know." Maybe I just needed to hear myself say it. To admit to myself that I loved you and you-, you loved me too.
I find myself crying again, half with joy, half with sadness and all with pain. And the memories start flooding through me like a stream, one following the next.
//Draco and Harry were sitting together on the windowsill of Draco's room, looking out through the glass and into the night. Harry's back was to Draco's chest as he leaned against the other boy, Draco's arms around him.
Harry was smiling as he looked into the night, liking the warmth the other boy was radiating. It was a little odd, since Draco was normally so cold to the touch. He expressed this feeling to the other boy.
"You make me warm," Draco murmured, amused.
Harry couldn't help but blush at that, feeling like a love-struck girl. "I guess this means we should thank the girls?"
"Why bother? It'll just make their egos that much bigger," Draco laughed. "I don't know about Kaleb, but Star doesn't need an ego bust."
"Neither does Kaleb," chuckled Harry.
They were silent again, just enjoying each other's company.
"I think I really love you," Draco murmured.
Harry sat up, turning as best he could without falling off the seat. His emerald eyes locked with Draco's, sparkling behind his glasses.
"I love you too, Draco," he smiled.
The Slytherin smiled back before pulling Harry towards him for a kiss, expressing in that contact how deeply he felt for the other boy. When they separated, Harry laid against Draco's chest, sighing happily in content. Draco wrapped his arms around him, once more looking outside. The stars reflected in his gray eyes.
"Tonight, Harry, is ours."
"Not just tonight," Harry said, nuzzling Draco's chest with his cheek. "Forever."//
//"Oh. My. Gods." Harry's eyes searched the lavish London flat, surprise making him look so yummy it should be illegal. "This is amazing!" He looked at Draco with complete shock; who in turn shook his head and walked in with a smile, tossing their bags on the floor.
"Simple things always amaze simple minds."
Harry instead was fooling around with anything he could get his hands on; the refrigerator, the bathroom fixtures, the computer that was hooked up to the witch wide web.
Draco let out a chuckle as he flopped onto the brand new couch, watching his lover with a hungry look in his eyes.
Harry, being too rapt up in a web site dedicated to the greatest seekers of all time, didn't notice Draco's look, which made him annoyed as hell.
"Harry stop fucking with that and fuck with me instead!"
Harry stopped and turned to look at him, a wide smile stretching on his face. "Gee Draco you always had a way with words."
He rolled his eyes in response and stretched his body out. They were 24 now. The war was, thankfully, on it's way out and Harry and Draco had thought it was the best time to settle down. With Harry being one of the best Aurors the Ministry had, and Draco being one of the most important double agents they possessed, it was about time.
With a flick of the wrist Draco lit the fire in the grate so it was a roaring mass of flames. Harry gave him a quizzical look.
"It's August."
"I know."
"So what's with the fire?"
"I think it's sensual."
Harry couldn't help but erupt with giggles. Draco threw him the best annoyed look he could muster.
"Ok Mr. Suddenly-Fire-is-Sensual, lets take a picture in front of the sexy fire, shall we?"
Draco's look faltered as a smile was brought to the surface. "Oh is it one of those pictures where we're naked?"
"No," Harry said as he fished through his bags for a camera. "It's a 'It's Our First Home' picture. A fully clothed one at that," he added seeing Draco's still excited expression, which fell into a pout when he was done.
"Damn."
"C'mere." Harry magicked the camera so it would hover and take pictures without the use of their hands. Draco sulked over to Harry, who wrapped his arms around his neck.
Harry prodded his face. "Smile!"
The corners of his mouth moved upward slightly.
"I said smile!"
Draco glared.
"Oh I get what you're playing at," he whispered devilishly into his ear, trailing his tongue around its surface, causing the other boy to shudder.
"Smile so we can get good use out of this fire."
Draco's mouth shot up to his eyes causing Harry to laugh and hold on tighter.
"Smile!"
::click::
"Smile again!" Draco put his arms around his lover's waist.
::click::
"Smi-" Draco had turned so they were facing each other and soon Draco's lips were on Harry's'.
::click::
Harry kissed back, the passion reserved only for Draco showing through.
::click::
And soon Draco's hands were raking through Harry's hair, pressing their bodies together so they were perfectly aligned.
::click click::
And even sooner they found themselves on the rug in front of the fire, forgetting the camera was on.//
//"Harry what in the devil is that?" Draco pointed to the small bulge in the other's pocket.
Harry blushed slightly as he looked at where he was pointing.
"I was going to save this for later but.."
They were 26 now. Slightly older, slightly wiser but still very much in love.
Harry looked at Draco with a smile and pulled out a velvet box. Draco eyed it curiously.
Slowly Harry got down on one knee, causing the other to gasp ever so slightly.
"Harry-"
He ignored him and instead opened the box; exposing shiny metal in the light. Two silver bands lay winking in the velvet box. Engagement rings actually.
"Oh Harry-" This time Draco's voice was caught in his throat and he couldn't say anything more.
"Let's go to Holland." Harry looked at him with a wide smile as he took one ring out and held Draco's hand. "After the war. We'll get married. We'll elope! Hell I don't care as long as you're the one wearing this ring."
"Yes" was Draco's breathless response. He was still too much in shock to trust anything he said.
As Harry slipped the ring on his finger and Draco did the same to him, Harry pulled him into a tight embrace; one promising that he would never let go of this, of *him*. Ever.//
//"You promise? You promise you'll come back?" Draco's voice was soft, and uncharacteristically laced with a small plea. His silver eyes shimmered with unshed tears.
He was scared, of course. They had talked about it before. Everyday they put their lives on the line to help innocent people, wizards and muggles alike. And each time a sinking feeling wrapped around Draco. Every time he watched Harry walk out that door he knew it might be the last time. Every time *he* walked out that door he feared it would be the last time. Just because Harry had defeated Voldemort once and for all didn't mean his followers were pleased.
They were now 35 and the war had long been over although work had prevented them from actually tying the knot.
Harry looked at him and forced a small reassuring smile. This was the moment of truth. Give him closure and return in 15 minutes tops, he told himself. "Of course. I promise."
And he wrapped his arms around Draco.
"Let me go with you," Draco whispered, never taking his eyes off Harry's.
"No" was the firm response. "They know you're an agent. They'd kill you."
"Yeah and what about you, huh? You're not immortal, Harry, *and* you're more wanted dead then alive."
For once Harry looked a little uncertain. "I'll be careful."
Draco sighed. He knew he couldn't sway Harry's mind so there was no point in trying. He instead pressed his lips to Harry's, a warm reminder of why he put up with all the stress. It was sweet and tender and lasted forever. Draco could heartbreakingly feel the fear in the other boy. He plainly didn't want to go. But he had to.
Draco watched as Harry held him for a few more moments, whispering sweet words into his ear. Then all too quickly Harry got up and slipped on his cloak.
"Harry I-I.." Harry turned to look at him, a kind smile that pierced a little piece of Draco's soul. It was one of those looks that you remember forever.
In a few steps Harry closed the distance between them and give him the most touching, passionate kiss. Draco almost cried. Almost.
"I know," he whispered softly, his eyes revealing the truth of it all. The love he felt for this one person. The love he felt for Draco Malfoy.
And then turned and walked to the door, and with a last look back, he was gone.
He never kept his promise.//
I still have the pictures you know. I keep them close to me wherever I go. Once I left them on the counter and I just didn't feel complete. Like was a half. And the ring, well, I haven't removed it since. I looked at it, smiling through my tears.
Harry you were my angel; blessed with emerald green eyes that made my knees weak ever time I looked into them, and messy black hair that begged to be touched. You were everything I wasn't and for that I thank you. Thank you for letting me believe in love and second chances. Thank you for making me believe that evil wasn't the only choice. Thank you for loving me. You were my sanity and, even though I can't see you, I know you're still keeping me here, letting me remember you with my thoughts and memories. Without them I would, truly, go insane.
I was brought up to let no one into my life and to never know who I really was; what was really ticking in my head. Star broke through that first. But you, you were completely different. You are still this perfect image of all that is good, brave, just and loyal. But you were not perfect, because you loved me. I still wonder sometimes why was it that you went out on a limb and saved me from the depths of hell. I don't understand it, but yet I do. Love turns you into someone your not. *You* turned me into something I'm not, so maybe you are love in disguise.
Don't get me wrong; all that was in Harry/Draco land was not perfect. I remember quite clearly that fight we had during out 13th Christmas, and you kicked me out. Hard times that was. I thought I really had lost you forever. Thank gods you're as forgiving as you are kind.
I smile a little and attempt to wipe the wetness that has gathered on my face in all my reminiscing. Of course it hurts to know you're not here. Of course it hurts to know I won't wake up with you in my arms. Of course it hurts to know I won't see your beautiful face bathed in moonlight *ever* *again*.
But Harry I promise I'll find you. Not in this world but in the next. Even if it takes me a thousand years, I'll do it. Even if I look different or act different, I'm still me. And Harry? Mark my words, I intend to keep this promise.
Lying on his deathbed, Draco Malfoy, now 131 years old to date, reflected how his world once was. Fragile with age, he lived in the Malfoy Manor by himself; no house elves, no ghouls in the attic, just himself and his lonely thoughts.
Hours later he finally drifted off to sleep; lost in dreams of Harry and his friends, and a past he so wished he could relive.
He never woke up the next day.
Miles away at that exact moment, a baby boy was born and was being rocked gently in his mother's arms. Oblivious to the fact that during his lifetime he would experience hell too many times to count, and that he would be graced with a name for the sole purpose that it allegedly held a terrible story, he allowed sleep to overtake him to a world he would, in later years, wish was a reality.
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This is *not* the end! There will be more chapters to come!
