Part 50 - The Look

New Year's Eve
8 pm

Buffy waited for everyone to show up. Her mom had gone to spend
the evening at Giles' and had agreed to let Buffy have her
friends over to their house for New Years' Eve. She'd also
indicated that Buffy not wait up for her, but Buffy chose not to
contemplate that too much.

Xander was the first to arrive, to Buffy's delight. "Come in,
Xan," she said, taking his jacket and putting it in the closet.

When Xander walked in, he'd been caught completely speechless.
Buffy looked incredible. She was wearing her black leather pants
and a black tight-fitting top. He hoped he wasn't staring at her
open-mouthed. When he found that he wasn't, he breathed a sigh
of
relief.

Buffy turned back to him and smiled. The way he was looking at
her, it was quite obvious what he thought of her appearance. She
realized then he didn't look half-bad either. He was wearing a
dark blue silk shirt and black pants. She decided then that he
looked absolutely edible. That thought caught her slightly off
guard but she grinned, she couldn't argue with it.

She pulled his head down for a kiss and was surprised for a
second time, by the passion with which he returned it. Their
tongues dueled for control of the kiss before Buffy finally
conceded. She moaned when he pushed his tongue into her mouth,
then whimpered when he grabbed her hips and pulled her body
close
to his. She could feel the evidence of how much he wanted her
pressing against her hip and she realized that she wanted him
as much if not more.

She finally broke the kiss and pulled in a shaky breath. Their
eyes locked for a moment, neither of them saying a word, then
Buffy pulled away. She turned and walked into the living room,
"Let's sit."

"What was that look for?" Xander wondered as he followed her
into the living room.

"What look?" Buffy asked innocently, though she was fairly
certain what look he meant. She knew she hadn't been able to
hide how much she wanted him when she'd looked into his eyes
earlier. "There was no look," she said when she turned to face
him.

"There was a look," Xander insisted, "I've just never seen it
before."

"Probably not," Buffy admitted, with a shrug. She still had no
intention of revealing the thoughts behind her 'look' though.

"Buffy..." Xander resorted to whining.

She laughed, "While you are incredibly adorable when you revert
to a little boy, you're not going to get anywhere with doing
it." She replied as she sat on the couch.

Now Xander was really curious. "Come ON, Buff," he wheedled as
he sat next to her. He kissed her again. "I'm not going to stop
asking."

"Later," Buffy said. "Maybe." She was saved by the doorbell then
and jumped off the couch to go answer it. Xander just chuckled
and shook his head as he watched her run off. The night was
definitely going to be interesting.

******************


Willow and Oz showed up not too long after Xander did. That had
made things less tense between Buffy and Xander. She couldn't
keep him from trying to figure out what she wasn't telling him,
though. She tried to put him at ease, keeping him close, but he
was still determined to know what was going on in her mind. He'd
asked her a few times, but she'd just shook her head and walked
over to talk to Willow when he did.

Not that she did much to keep him from wondering. She'd had
trouble concentrating on anything all night, other than Xander.
She couldn't stop looking at him. He'd caught her looking at him
most of those times and had just given her an amused look in
response.

They had played card games until they'd gotten bored of that,
then they'd sat around talking. Buffy was glad they'd had a few
hours to just be normal teenagers. Now they were watching the
countdown on the television. "Happy New Year!" They all yelled
at the stroke of midnight.

Buffy turned to Xander then and they kissed. This one was
quicker, more chaste, Buffy smiled at him when she pulled away.
"I love you, Xan."

"Love you too, Buffy," he replied and smiled back at her.

"Well this was fun, guys, but Oz and I are going to go now,"
Willow said as she and Oz stood.

"You sure?" Buffy asked.

"Positive," Willow replied. "G'nite guys."

"Good night, Willow," Buffy and Xander said. They sat back down
on the couch, letting Willow and Oz let themselves. out.

"Well, then," Buffy said. She looked at Xander then got up
again. She walked around absentmindedly picking up dirty dishes
and carrying them to the kitchen. She was doing it more to
gather her thoughts together so she could find the courage to
talk to Xander. She knew she was being silly, though. Xander was
her best friend, not just her boyfriend.

Xander watched her go back and forth, patiently waiting for her
to finish with the clean-up. He knew something had her nerves
worked up, he'd get it out of her eventually. He looked up when
he felt her eyes on him. He grinned as she blushed yet again and
walked out of the room. She'd been doing that all night. He
*had* to know what was causing this reaction. She was definitely
acting more lighthearted, he loved seeing that. And the way she
was looking at him, it was almost like... He didn't let himself
finish that thought, not wanting to get his hopes up like that.
Buffy and he still had a long way to go before they were ready
to move their relationship to that level.

She finally ran out of things to do and walked back into the
living room. "Hi," she said with a grin as she sat next to him.

"Have I told you tonight how beautiful you are?" he wondered.

"You are just too sweet," Buffy replied with a smile, kissing
him softly.

When they pulled away, he frowned. "I'm serious," he insisted.

She laughed, "I know you are." She sighed contentedly then, and
relaxed, resting her head on his chest. "That's why you're
sweet."

"So we're alone, finally." Xander said unnecessarily as he put
his right arm around her shoulders.

"Mm-hmm," Buffy replied.

"So, now will you tell me?" Xander asked.

"Tell you what?" Buffy replied, feigning ignorance. She knew
what he wanted to know. *How does one tell her boyfriend, 'Well,
I was contemplating what a good kisser you were. And that made
me think you might have other hidden talents. And then combined
with how good you looked, my over-all conclusion was you looked
good enough to eat.*

Xander's breath caught in his throat as she put her left hand on
his right leg and ran it up and down his thigh. "Um, Buff?" he
said as he put his free hand on hers to still her movements. "No
fair trying to distract me."

"Huh?" Buffy looked down at where their fingers were interlocked
on his upper leg. She pulled back and looked up at him. "That's
not what I was trying to do, I just drifted off for a moment."

"I figured," Xander said, with a smile. "But you still haven't
answered my question."

"I know. The look," she said, looking away. She sighed, "Fine."
She looked back at him, "The look was me thinking about how much
I want you." *Well, the direct approach is good, too.* she
thought as she saw the surprised look on his face.

Xander stared at her a moment. That had not been the response he
was expecting. He didn't know what he'd been expecting, but just
not that. "Buffy-" That came out too hoarse, so he cleared his
throat and tried again. "Buffy, I..."

Buffy shrugged, "It's okay. I understand if you don't want to. I
know I've put you through so much. I have to wait until you can
trust me again, I understand that. I just... I'm ready, that's
all. I'll wait until you are too--"

Xander silenced her ramblings the only way he knew how. He
grabbed her face and kissed her passionately. He wanted her,
he'd wanted her for longer than he could remember. But it had
never seemed to be the right time. He'd been convinced she was
the one that wasn't ready; he hadn't wanted to rush her. He
finally came up for air, and said, "Don't ever think I don't
want you. You're the only girl I've ever wanted. I just never
thought you felt the same way."

"How could you ever doubt how I feel about you?" Buffy replied
with a smile, moving to sit sideways across his lap. She caught
a look of uncertainty in his eyes and frowned. "All right. What
now?"

"It's just that..." Xander hesitated. This was the talk that
usually ended in him being laughed at. He shook his head, he had
to believe Buffy was different. "I've just never..."

"Oh," Buffy understood his discomfort. He was a virgin. She'd
just never really thought about it. She didn't mind, though, it
wasn't as if she was that experienced. Or good, if Angelus could
be believed. She shook that thought away quickly. "You think I
care about that?" she said to him.

"Well... no," Xander said.

"Xander, I love you, I wouldn't care if you've been with a
hundred other girls, or none. Tell you the truth, though, I kind
of like that it's none."

Xander smiled and kissed her in reply.

"So now we've gotten all of this out in the open," Buffy said.
"I want you, you want me. The only question that remains is what
are we going to do about it?" she asked with a twinkle in her
eye.

"I want our first time together to be special," Xander said. He
put his hands at her waist and trailed kisses across her jawline
and down to nuzzle her neck.

"Um...." Buffy found it incredibly difficult to think clearly
when he was doing that. "We're alone."

"We've also got the possibility of your mom coming in," he
replied as he looked into her eyes with a grin. "Her walking in
on us, that would definitely not keep her super opinion of me
intact."

"You're right," she admitted with a sigh. "Okay, so we wait
for the right time. I suppose that's for the
best."

"Definitely," Xander said and kissed her gently. "I should go
home," he said reluctantly.

Buffy frowned, "Don't. I don't want this night to end."

"We'll have others like it and better," Xander replied.

She finally nodded, and slipped off his lap to sit on the couch
again. "Fine. But I'll see you tomorrow morning, right?"

"First thing," he promised. He had the day off of work, and
they'd planned to spend it together. They stood and she walked
him to the door.

"Be careful walking home," she said.

He smiled and pulled a stake out of the pocket of his jacket
that he'd retrieved from the hall closet. "I have no intention
of being attacked by demons. I'll be fine." He then kissed her
again, a little too long, leaving them both breathless when he pulled
away. "Sleep well, Buffy."

"I will," she said. She waited at the doorway, watching him walk
down the street until he was out of sight.
*****