Part 57
Saying Goodbye

The firetrucks showed up soon after the blast, and they all
played dumb as to the cause of the explosion. Everyone except
Xander, who just sat there, staring at the school building. He
heard the others explaining to the paramedics and police that
his girlfriend had died in the explosion. He'd winced at the
words. They shouldn't be saying that. Saying it made it true and
he didn't want it to be true.

He still felt like he couldn't breathe, but he knew he *was*
breathing because he was still alive. He couldn't understand how
that was the case, when his reason for breathing... speaking...
smiling... laughing... loving... believing... living... was
gone. She was gone. He knew all this was true, even though he
would have given his life to bring her back. Even knowing all
this, he only felt numb. He should feel ... something. Anything.
He didn't. He didn't know if he ever would again.

He looked around him and the world seemed like it was moving in
slow motion. He noticed Angel sitting under a nearby tree,
staring at the remains of the school. He looked like he was in
shock. There were red streaks down his face from the tears he'd
shed. Xander knew that the vampire was probably as devastated by
Buffy's death as he was. He never thought before that he'd
understand anything about Angel, but now he did. Whatever else
Angel had done, Xander knew that Angel had loved Buffy and had
wanted her to be happy. That's why he'd let her go when she'd
chosen to be with Xander, even though it must have hurt him more
than anything.

He looked at Willow. Oz. Giles. Cordelia. They were all standing
nearby, their faces showing concern, sadness, worry,
helplesness, as they looked from him to Angel. Most likely
waiting for one or both to crack. Xander didn't feel that there
was any danger of that from him. Yet. He was still sitting where
he'd fallen earlier, when Willow had taken her in his arms as he
wept. He'd stopped, eventually, and pulled away from her. She'd
understood and let him be after that, though she still stood
inches away from him.

They'd defeated the evil demon, but the sun still hadn't
returned. Xander felt that was fitting. *The day the slayer dies
should *not* be a bright, sunny day.*

"What on earth is with the long faces? The day we killed the
worst demon ever is a day for celebration, people!"

Xander looked up at the sound of the voice. Her voice. It
couldn't be. Finally he saw her and his heart stopped. "Buffy?"
he croaked, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"Last I checked, that was my name," she replied with a smile as
she walked closer. She covered in dust and soot, and a few
gashes showed on her face, but otherwise she looked okay.

"OH MY GOD!" Xander sobbed. "BUFFY!" He ran to her but made
himself stop short, with a large amount of willpower. "Are you
hurt?" He asked, his expression worried.

"No--" The rest of Buffy's sentence was cut off as Xander pulled
her into his arms, tightly and kissed her as if his life
depended on it.

"You're okay? You're alive?" Xander said as he buried his face
in her hair. "Oh god, Buffy, I thought--"

"I figured," she replied. "Xan, you really gotta let me breathe,
though," she added. He was squeezing her so tightly he was
cutting off her air supply. He eased up a little and she smiled
as he looked into her eyes. She saw the tears in them and wished
she hadn't scared him so badly. "Didn't I tell you it was all
going to work out?"

"You did," he replied. He smiled as he finally felt like he
could breathe. "I just...I got so scared when you didn't get out
before the explosions," he admitted.

"I got out about half a second before," Buffy said. "but I got
hit on the head by something on my way out. I was knocked out
and I came to just a little while ago. I'm okay," she assured
him when his expression turned concerned again.

"Is everyone else okay?" she asked, looking around.

"We all made it," Xander replied. The others walked up and
hugged Buffy, expressing their relief that she was okay. Even
Cordelia came up to her.

"I just wanted to say... you did a really brave thing today,"
Cordelia said.

"Thank you, Cordelia, and thanks for helping us," Buffy replied.


"Yeah, no problem," Cordelia shrugged. "Now, I'm outta here. I'm
getting out of this cursed town, for good." And with that, she
turned and walked away.

"Well, why don't we all go back to my place?" Giles suggested.
"I'll order pizza and we can celebrate, as Buffy suggested
earlier."

"Sounds like a plan," Buffy said with a smile. She saw Angel,
who'd been hanging back, walking away. She turned back to
Xander.

"Why don't you meet us there?" Xander suggested before she could
even figure out how to tell him she needed to speak to Angel.

"I love you, Xander Harris," she said, pulling his head down for
a kiss.

"Love you too, Buff," he replied. "And I trust you, so go."

She nodded and ran off down the street after Angel.

**************
"Angel!" Buffy called after him.

He stopped and waited for her to catch up.

"Why'd you run off like that?" she wondered as she reached him.

"I only waited, to see if you would show up," Angel said with a
shrug. "I figured you would; I didn't *feel* that you were dead.
I will admit there were a few moments that I thought maybe I was
wrong. I know I wasn't wrong now and I'm glad. But *you* should
be with your friends."

"And you're not one of them?" she countered.

"You know what I mean," he replied with a sigh. "Besides, like I
told you, I'm leaving town."

"Tonight?"

"Yes," Angel nodded. "I think - I know - it's time. I came here,
originally, to help you fight demons. But you have something
that none of the other slayers had, Buffy: a lot of people who
are willing to fight by your side, to help keep you alive. And
you're also much stronger than you realize. So I know you're
going to be okay without me around. But if you guys ever need
me...I've given Willow my cell phone number."

"If anything else big shows up, we just might use it," Buffy
said. "So, where do you go now?" she asked.

"Los Angeles," Angel said. He added, "Don't say it; I know it's
corny."

"I wasn't thinking that at all," Buffy replied with a smile. "I
think it's about time the City of Angels had their very own,
true Angel to protect them."

Angel just shook his head at that. "I'm not so sure that's what
I am--"

"You are," Buffy interrupted him. "You've saved my life and the
lives of so many others, more times than I can count."

Angel shrugged, "I've just tried to do some good."

"And you have," Buffy replied.

"I guess," Angel said. "Well, I need to go finish packing. So I
guess this is goodbye."

Buffy nodded, "I suppose it is... for now, anyway." She stepped
closer and they hugged. "You've got good in you, Angel," she
said. "I have always, and *will* always believe that."

"I'll try never to prove you wrong," Angel replied.

"I know you will," Buffy said, pulling away. "Goodbye, Angel."

"Goodbye, Buffy," he said softly. "Be happy."

"I will be," she replied with a smile. Then she turned and
walked away, down the street.

**********