A Blast From The Past

By Dannette

Buffy is losing her emotional battle, but an unlikely savior will come, and it's someone from her past.





***

Pike's eyes seemed to widen a bit, Dawn Summers? Did that mean? Pike stared at Dawn's image, while he tried to decide to believe her or not. Dawn Summers? Was she Buffy's ... Pike didn't even want to think about it. At least he knew she wasn't a vampire, although he should have known that if she was, she wouldn't have been able to get into the house. "Dawn Summers?" He asked.

Dawn nodded shakily. "W-who are you?" Dawn asked.

"Pike." Pike said, lowering the crossbow, he threw it to the couch and handed Dawn back her wallet. "You live here?" Pike asked, watching Dawn carefully, she still looked freaked. If he wasn't in such a somber mood, he would be laughing his ass off. He must have scared the living daylights out of the poor girl ... before Pike could react, he was pummeled down to the ground.

"Run Dawn! Go get Buffy!" Xander screamed, pinning Pike's arms down, so Pike couldn't move.

Dawn nodded and ran up the stairs to Buffy's room, but a part of her felt something tingle at the name Pike, the name didn't sound like a name of an enemy, and plus ... once she told him her name, he put the crossbow down. But Dawn was too freaked right now, she just ran up the stairs, and trampled over to Buffy's room. "BUFFY!" She screamed, running into the room in a frenzy.

Buffy nearly fell out of the bed, when suddenly her room was filled with Dawn's screaming, her frantic screaming. Buffy slipped out of the bed, and stared at Dawn concerned. "What's wrong Dawn?" Buffy asked. Buffy put her hands on Dawn's shoulders, trying to calm down her little sister. "Ssh, calm down Dawn, start from the beginning." Buffy said calmly, through her sleepiness.

"This guy like totally tried to kill me, and now Xander has him pinned downstairs Buffy," Dawn started, but stopped when she saw the look on Buffy's face. Buffy looked like Xander had just done the most idiotic thing in all time, this only fed Dawn's curiosity.

"Oh my god, Pike." Buffy stated, she ran out of her room and down the stairs, with Dawn closely behind. "Xander, stop!" Buffy screamed, skidding into the living room. "Stop he's injured, stop." Buffy replied, she gently pushed Xander off of Pike, she then kneeled down next to Pike. "Are you okay?" She asked gently, she helped Pike up, concerned deeply for Pike.

"Oh yeah, sure, just fine. Geek boy over here completely pummeled me, do your best friends usually do this to your guests?" Pike asked, wincing, as he felt the pain in his shoulder come back. Pike first tried to struggle against Buffy's help, but in the end, he gave up, and wrapped his injured arm around Buffy's neck and let her guide him over to the couch. "This is WHY I didn't want to stay here." Pike snapped, he watched Buffy pushed the crossbow off of the couch and help him down on it, Pike groaned in pain.

Dawn stared at Xander questioningly.

"Okay Buff, explanation?" Xander asked, raising up his eyebrow. "This guy was just about to kill Dawn, and you help him?"

"I wasn't try to kill her," Pike muttered, holding his shoulder in pain. "I thought she was a vampire or something, I was just keeping her in place, until I could figure out who she was. And who the hell do you think you are? Superman or something? Jumping in and pummeling me down to the ground, provided that I didn't give the best first impression, but I really think that I don't like you."

"Pike is an old friend," Buffy replied, turning to Xander and Dawn. "From LA. I was attacked in the graveyard tonight by a pack of vampires, Pike came to my rescue. Seems his car broke down a few miles away from the graveyard, he was trying to find a gas station and got lost, he heard me scream, and saved me." Buffy stated, she looked between Xander and Dawn. "He's a good guy, I invited him to stay the night, because he's injured." Buffy pointed out, looking pointedly at Xander. "Probably more now."

Xander bit down on his lip. "I thought he was trying to kill Dawn. You just have some weird stranger in your house, he's pointing a crossbow at Dawn, what do you think I'm supposed to do? Maybe he should have told us, he was a friend of yours."

"When was I supposed to do that? When you were pummeling me down to the ground, and pinning my arms to the ground?" Pike asked, a bit irritable at the pounding pain in his shoulder. Granted he knew he must look like some sort of danger to Dawn and Xander, he just didn't have the logic in his body at the moment to be nice, that pummel hurt like hell, screw being nice.

"Maybe I should go? Anya, will be waiting for me." Xander replied, staring at Pike cautiously, he didn't trust the guy ... a friend of Buffy's or not. He got the wiggins or whatever they were calling them nowadays whenever he looked at Pike, that wasn't good.

"Yeah, go." Buffy replied, smiling softly. "I'll fill you guys in more in the morning."

Xander nodded and walked out of the house.

"Pike," Buffy started. "Want to come into the kitchen? I'll make you something to drink, you're sure as hell going to need it. I got something to tell you, Dawn you should come too, it's about you." Buffy said, closing her eyes, explanation time, she thought.

***

Dawn sat at the kitchen table, her cup of hot chocolate neatly in between her hands. She watched Pike, now that she knew he wasn't exactly a bad guy, she felt a little more comfortable around him. She stared at his face, trying to remember a memory of him. She had memories of everybody else in Buffy's life, but this Pike guy didn't ring a bell to her, which scared her a bit. She didn't know how to react around him, since she didn't have any memories of him, and she knew he didn't know who/what she was either.

"Okay, I'll explain who Pike is first, since you don't know him Dawn. Pike is a really good friend, we met in LA. Dawn, back in LA, before I knew I was a slayer, me and Pike weren't all that close. Actually we were complete opposites," Buffy started to explain, holding her cup of black coffee in her shaking hands. "But then my first watcher, Merrick, told me how I was a Vampire Slayer."

"I still don't see where Pike fits in all of this." Dawn interrupted.

Buffy looked at Pike.

"My best friend, Benny, he was killed by a vampire. He came to my window, I guess shortly after he was sired or whatever, and when I found out what he was, I was going to ditch town." Pike started to explain. "But on the way out, a few vampires attacked my car, I crashed into a tree. I got out of the car and the vampires attacked me, Buffy saved me." Pike answered, rubbing his face.

Buffy nodded. "After that ... Pike helped me. On the night of this big dance, the lead vampire, big bad guy all around, wanted me, seems he has had all of my ancestors. So he showed up with a bunch of his minions or whatnot, and attacked the school. To make a long story short, I killed the lead vampire, saved the day and danced with Pike. A month or so after that, a big gang of vampires invaded the high school gym, there were about 40 of them, and no way to kill all of them before they harmed anybody."

"How did you get rid of them?" Dawn questioned, blowing a few strands out of her face, she stared at Pike out of the corner of her eyes. He mesmerized her, there was something about his eyes, they were so deep, and they told a hidden story, he didn't want to be told. She could see how he tried to block the story that was practically trying to pour itself out of his deep eyes.

"We blew up the gym." Pike answered.

"That was WHY you blew up the gym Buffy?" Dawn exploded, with such excitement in her voice. "How cool!"

Pike smirked.

Buffy didn't find the humor in anything, she just sighed and then turned to Pike. "Okay now I have to explain something to you. See this is going to sound weird, but you have to believe me okay? I know this wouldn't be believable, but Dawn is my sister."

Pike looked at Buffy oddly. "Dawn is your sister?" Pike asked. "I'm finding this hard to believe, I know we haven't seen each other in 8 years Buffy, but looking at Dawn, she would have at least been a few years old, back when you lived in LA. Or did she live with your dad or something? No that still doesn't make sense." Pike mused, knitting his eyebrows in puzzlement and confusion.

Dawn bit down on her lip.

"I'm not exactly Buffy's sister." Dawn spoke up.

"Not chronically, but when it comes down to the gritty facts, Dawn you're my sister. The monks, they were protecting her, she's called The Key. They put her into my family, so I could protect her, since I'm the Slayer and all. They created memories, it's like we all already knew who she was, we could remember her like she had been with us since the beginning. To make a VERY long story short Pike, I found about Dawn, but don't mistake this ... she IS my sister. I love her, and everything about her is a Summers."

Dawn smiled up at Buffy.

Pike stood up, he looked outside the kitchen window. His eyes narrowed in concentration, he didn't know what to say. How could he react to the news Buffy just gave him, this was just one surprise after another. The Key. Sister. Dawn. Pike put his hands on the edge of the sink, as he tried to come up with a proper reaction. He turned around and stared at Dawn, Buffy was right ... Dawn was in so many ways her sister, so what if they weren't real blood sisters? By looking at them Pike could see the love they both shared. "Well I only got one thing to say." Pike said, he stared at Dawn. "Sorry about trying to kill you," he said with a small smile.

Buffy smiled, her eyes shining as she stared at Pike.

***

Pike stood at the entry of the door, his eyes narrowed as he stared at Buffy, she was sitting on the porch steps, her head bowed down. Pike frowned, he knew she was hiding something, and obviously it wasn't the whole Dawn thing. Just by looking at Buffy, Pike could see that there was a lot of pain she was hiding, and maybe not just from him, maybe from her friends as well. Pike walked out of the house, shutting the door behind him slowly, he started walking towards Buffy, when he heard the door click shut. Pike waltzed over to Buffy, he sat down on the porch steps next to her, he stared at the side of her face for a few seconds before he looked down at his own hands. Pike was silent for a long time, trying to find something to say to her, god it's been too long, Pike thought.

"My sister likes you," Buffy said softly, breaking the silence. "She has officially given up on her crush on Xander, you're her next mission." Buffy replied. She brought her head up and stared at Pike, she shrugged, and brushed the strands of her blonde hair out of her eyes. "You took it rather well, when I found out, I thought she was some sort of demon at first, you didn't even freak."

Pike looked at Buffy. "Are you really that desperate to duck a conversation with me?" Pike asked.

Buffy didn't falter, she just remained staring at Pike. "What do you mean?" She asked, pretending she had no idea what Pike was assuming. But she knew. She could never lie to Pike, it was like he could look at her, just a brief glance and he would be able to know everything that was wrong with her. Pike in so many ways was like Angel, they were both rebels, both two beings in this world just trying to survive, both knew how to affect in her the biggest ways. But there were so many things Angel never had that Pike had. Angel was a vampire with a soul fighting against the evil things in life to get amends, but Pike was human ... just trying to live through another day. He wasn't a vampire with a soul, or a witch, or a Slayer ... he was just a loner, asking to see the sunlight of tomorrow. Just a loner, yet standing out from the crowd, his eyes holding a story that he never let anyone see.

"I think you know what I mean." Pike answered. "Come on Buffy, lay it all on me. No one knows where you or I'm going to be tomorrow, I could be out of Sunnydale tomorrow and never return; you may never see or hear from me again Buffy, at least give me one night. Give me tonight to look into your soul, show me your pain. I don't want to go another eight years not knowing what's going on inside your heart and soul. I'm not going to flinch away from you, I'm not going to be running off in fear once you bare your soul to me. I've been through pain too, and tonight ... if tonight is the only night we have, I'll stand by you, until the sun rises. I just want to know what's killing you inside. I just want to know why you're in so much pain, why you look you're so little, so lonely, so scared. I just want to know you again, even if it is only for tonight, show me your pain, show it all to me ... show me the ugly part of you. I'm not scared to see the ugliness in your soul, I'm not afraid to see the darkness you hold inside your body, I'm not afraid of you."

Buffy tried to keep a straight face, but suddenly her face crumbled in front of Pike. "It's just too hard." Buffy whispered, her voice cracking in emotion. She bit back the tears, she wringed her hands together, looking down at them, trying not to look at Pike. "Life, everything. I thought I had it all under control, I thought nothing could take me down. I was proven wrong. Now I feel all this pain inside of me and it won't go away, and I just want them all to go away. I don't want my friends, my sister, even my heart. I died Pike. To save the world, I took the fall for Dawn, and it was just supposed to be over. I was in heaven, it was so beautiful there Pike, so tranquil, so peaceful ... and then I was yanked away from it. My friends brought me back to life, but they tore me away from my peace of mind, they tore me away from heaven. There's all this screaming, and I'm the only who can hear it, and I'm so scared. I'm so scared that I'm never going to get my sanity back, I'm so scared that nothing is going to be good again. How do you live when you're already dead? How do you move on? How do you walk through your pain, when you can hardly even walk?" Buffy asked, the tears leaking out of her eyes. "You're right, I was about to give up. I didn't care Pike, I didn't care about death, I was going to let them kill me ... and then out of nowhere you walked into my life and you saved me. I fought, I fought for you, but I'm so scared."

Pike knitted his eyebrows in pain as he heard the words flowing out of Buffy's mouth. Pike closed his eyes, there was a long silence, but then the shuffling of Pike's clothes as he scooted closer to Buffy could be heard. "Fear. It's inside of all of us Buffy, it makes us human, it makes us alive. You're scared Buffy, well so is everyone else. Everyone one is scared of something, that is what makes us feel. We feel things, things deep inside of our bodies, they're called emotions." Pike replied softly.

Buffy shook her head, her head still bowed down. "I don't want to feel anything anymore. I don't want to feel any sort of emotion, don't you understand? I just want to give up, give it all up because it's so hard. You don't know, understand what I'm feeling."

Pike laughed harshly, not a laugh full of humor, but one full of sadness. "Are you so sure about that Buffy? Are you so sure that I don't know how it is to feel like I'm dead inside? Are you sure that I don't break inside? I feel pain okay? I feel the wrath of pain, loneliness and everything else. It hurts, hurts so much. Sometimes I just wanted to give up, give up on fighting, give up on trying to live ... because it got too hard, too hard for me ... I just wanted to scream, but the words ... they never come out. You have friends Buffy, you're lucky. I'm all alone in this world, my best friend ... he's been dead for eight years Buffy, and I wish it was me."

Buffy looked up, her eyes red from the tears, a sob tremored through her body as she stared at Pike.

"I wish everything would just end, I wish that night in the school gym, it was me. Because if it had been me, all of this would be over. All of this endless pain, wouldn't be so endless anymore. I've loved after you Buffy, it's been eight years, it's expected. You want to know about my pain Buffy? You want to hear about what has pulled me down? What sacrifice I had to make? You asked me to tell you that earlier tonight, well I'll tell you now. I was married." Pike said, he reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a gold wedding ring. "Her name was Clarice, she wasn't you ... but I had to move on, I had to love again, you were never coming back, I had to face that and grow up. She knew about vampires and demons and all that, so there were no secrets between us, and god I loved her so much, you know? So damn much. One night, we were attacked by a group of demons, I tried to fight them off, but there were too many. There was a little girl, one of the demons had, there was this sacrificial ritual, and they were going to kill the poor little girl. I saw a demon heading towards Clarice, but then I turned my head and saw one of the stronger demons performing the ritual on the little girl, she was probably only six or seven. I saved the little girl, but it caused me to lose Clarice, she was killed. I knew I couldn't save them both, and I made a choice, I had to save the little girl, she was just so young ... " Pike said, holding in the tears.

Buffy widened her eyes, her bottom lip quivering. "Oh god Pike ... " Buffy mumbled.

"So you see, I know all about sacrifices Buffy. I know all about pain, I know about fear and hatred and self-loathing, I know all about wanting to give up, I know how it is to just want all the pain to end. I almost gave up, so many times, but in the end I kept fighting because I know Clarice wouldn't want her death to be in vain. That was why I left LA, I left LA because I couldn't stand being in that damned city one more minute. I was ready to just run, run for the rest of my life, but then my car broke down. I walked for hours, with no desire to do anything, but then I heard you scream. Your scream pierced my ears, and it snapped something inside of me." Pike replied, he wiped his tears furiously. "Pain, it hurts Buffy, I know. You were torn away from something so peaceful, I know the feeling. But you can't give up, your friends love you, you have a sister ... you have a lot going for you, unlike me, I have nothing."

"You have me." Buffy cried, she leaned forward and crushed her body against Pike's, she wrapped her arms around his body, as the sobs racked through her body. She let all her emotions out, she needed Pike, as much as he needed her. Buffy closed her eyes when she felt Pike hug her back, she felt something she hadn't felt in a long time. The warmth of another's touch. Before everyone's touches felt blank to her, but Pike seemed to reach deep inside of her and pushed away the cold, and make it semi-warm again.

Pike bowed his head down, his eyes closed as he hugged Buffy back.

Dawn stood at the doorway to the Summers' residence and stared at the scene in front of her with a sad look in her eyes. She wanted to cry, to cry for her sister, and to cry for Pike. She had come out to ask them what they were doing, but she had become silent when she heard Pike pushing Buffy to tell him what was wrong, and now that Dawn knew ... she wanted to cry a river.