Notes: All people who appear in this fic are either writers or artist who does Sepheris fics. =) If you can tell me what stories they wrote, you'll win brownie points. Princess K-chan will be making an appearence soon. mahahaha


Sephiroth and Aeris in the Nude!

SEPHIROTH: I've wanted to say this since the moment I laid eyes on you.

AERIS (holding her breath): You, you don't mean...

SEPHIROTH: I know you feel it too. I know you caught me watching you take that shower in the City of Ancients. You didn't protest. In fact, I think you kind of liked it.

AERIS: I...I really don't know what to say. I've never felt anything like this before...

SEPHIROTH: Oh, dreafully sorry then. ::backs up::

AERIS: Say, uh, do you have the, uh, Black Materia?

SEPHIROTH: ...?

AERIS: Sorry, I'm trying to think of good pickup lines.

SEPHIROTH: How about, "If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put I next to U"...?

AERIS: But you just said it!

SEPHIROTH: ...

AERIS: ...

SEPHIROTH: May I be OOC with you, Aeris?

AERIS: I'm flattered that you trust me so much! Yes, of course.

SEPHIROTH: I am so horny right now.

AERIS: (musingly) Aren't we all...?

(Both stand their and look about for a moment)

AERIS: ::gasps:: Sephiroth... stop being so damn OOC and get your hand off my ass...

SEPHIROTH: But it feels so RIGHT...!

AERIS: You squeezed too hard! I'm gonna have bruises!

SEPHIROTH: Really? May I rub cream all over them?

AERIS: Well yes if you think that would help--HEY WAIT A MINUTE!

SEPHIROTH: Hmph.

(Silence for a moment. A distant whisper is heard)

TETSUYA: But when is the hot body action going to occur?

SILVER COUNTESS: Shhh, don't interrupt Aeris and Sephiroth!

AKIRA: Yeah, this is the good part!

TETSUYA: Let's see some hot hentai action!

(Aeris and Sephiroth suddenly look towards the back window of the gondola. Silver Countess, Tetsuya, and Akira-chan are peeking through comically large cameras at them.)

AERIS: I feel so dirty...

SEPHIROTH: Good!

AKIRA: ::impatient:: Well?

AERIS: Well what?

SILVER COUNTESS: Let's see the action start! We can make millions if we sell this to the right people!

SEPHIROTH: ...?!

TETSUYA: I got a producer online, so hurry up and lets get this thing going on...

AERIS: ::bangs head against wall:: I feel sooooooo VERY dirty now...

SEPHIROTH: ::stares::

End Part 1!

Begin Part 2!

[Where we left our... friends... as they were standing with Silver Countess, Tetsuya, and Akira-chan as they discussed the Aeris and Sephiroth hentai movie...]


SEPHIROTH: Damnit, I said no!

AERIS: -is bright red from embaressment- I-I-i feel like taking a bath now... I feel so SHAMED.

AKIRA: That's right... FEEL THE SHAME! -points finger at the Cetra- Because of you MILLIONS of fans will never see the erotic beauty that IS Aeris and Sephiroth!!!!

-Silver Countress breaks down-

TETSUYA: How could you be so CRUEL and SELFISH!? THIS GUILT FREE SEX!!!

SEPHIROTH: ... well since you put it THAT way, I have no problem with -that-... -grin evilly and giggles. He stares at Aeris lustily-

AERIS: HENTAI! -screams and maces Sephiroth, then quickly follows with smashing him with a gaint statue of Zack that appeared from no where.-

-Sephiroth falls onto the ground, twitching.-

AERIS: What he meant to say is "no". -glares-

-Everyone eyes Aeris with GREAT fear-

A MYSTERIOUS VOICE: HEYYY! Why did you all leave without ME?

Tetsuya: oh shit!

Silver Countess: -waves fan in attempts to wake up Sephiroth- Sweety, are you okay?!

Akira: My dear Jenova! It's SAM!

-Sam runs out from godknows where, leaps on Sephiroth, and plants a BIG OL'wet one on his lips-

SEPHIROTH: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! -comes to, screaming and crawls away from Sam- OBSESSIVE FAN!

-all fans there stare at him-

SEPHIROTH: MORE OBSESSIVE FANS! -brusts into tears-

AERIS: There, there Sephiroth! -cuddles him close-

SEPHIROTH: -whimpers and cuddles his face... into Aeris' breasts-

-Aeris does not notice-


MEANWHILE!

RAISA: It says here that a natural Aphrodisiac is Varity. -perverted giggle- As in exposing the subject to more then one mate!

-stands up and laughs evilly-

RAISA: HOHOHOHOHOKEKEKEKEKEHAHAHAWAHOHOHOHOHOHKEKEKEKEHAHAHAHA! -gasps for breath- MAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA. -hack- That's enough for now... COME TO ME MY MINION!

-Minion appears-

RAISA: Go! Go to that gongola and make Aeris and Sephiroth do it like wild bunnies!

-Minion bows and leaves-

RAISA: I WILL have my Hentai models for the bestestestest picture of Sephiroth and Aeris making love! MAHAHAAJHAKEKEKEKEHOHOHAHAHAAH!


BACK WITH OUR 'HEROES'...

AERIS: -kisses away Sephiroth's tears- Now, love, be strong. You know how I-...

SEPHIROTH: how you?... -his hands 'accidently' caresses her breasts-

AERIS: -sniffles and surpresses a gasp- Damnit, Sephiroth! I can bare this no longer! SEPHIROTH I LOVE ----!

-Everyone, who Aeris and Sephiroth were oblivious till, drools in aticpation-

ANOTHER MYSTERIOUS VOICE: STOP RIGHT THERE!

-All the fans cry at this point-

EVERYONE: Hojo?! -stares in amazement-

SAM: My dear Planet... That's WRONG! BARE legs?...

HOJO: BEHOLD! MY SEXYNESS! -opens his lab coat-

-everyone, but Hojo and Akira, faint-

AKIRA: -blinks- Why aren't you wearing anything under that?

HOJO: Nakeness is freedom, damnit! -grumbles-

AKIRA: -staring at her nails- That's nice...


End Part 2!

Begin Part 3!


[Unwittingly, Silver Cloud and Racheal find themselves the Gondola, which is quite cramp with camera, camera men, Sephiroth, Aeris, and the other fans]


HOJO: Touch my nipple! I'm sexy.

AKIRA: -bored tone- No. You're nipple isn't. Vincent's is. I wanna lick his.

ALL: ...

SILVER CLOUD: Tell me I just didn't hear that...

RACHEAL: -monitors the scene- WTF is this place?

TATSUYA: -chrips cryptically in sleep- SEX!

SAM: -moans in sleep- HENTAI!

S. COUNTESS: -Sleep wears off and she stands up, she kicks the other two- Welcome to our world.

AKIRA: I'd like to say we're not the villain. Someone else is. We're just the annoying Urd-type crowd. -gives 'V' sign-

S. CLOUD: -see Hojo- mahahahahahahahahaha! -falls to the floor laughing- I. I . I.... I............. MAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!

ALL: .... -sweat drop-

S. CLOUD: -gasps- IT'S.... SO .... /SMALL/!!!!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

ALL: -looks at Hojo, who attempting to cover himself now-

TATSUYA: you know, you're right. You think with all his knowledge, he would have... ahhh...

SAM: enhanced?

TATSUYA: ahhh. yeah. -turns red-

HOJO: Shut up! How would you know! I bet you never even seen one before...

S. COUNTESS: not all of us are igorant like that... -looks at Tatsuya and winks- Besides, I had personal experience... ahhh... 'them' before

TATSUYA: -bloody nose-

AKIRA: -wakes up the stars of the story-

AERIS: ... ick... tell me I didn't see...

SEPHIROTH: Hojo with no pants on?

AERIS: -pukes on Hojo- yes!

HOJO: -brusts into tears- I'm a REAL MAN!

SEPHIROTH: No, you're not! I am! -drops his drawers-

ALL FEMALES: -stare.... and stare... and stare. Eyes are VERY VERY BIG-

RACHAEL: Masamune... -hits chest to restart heart-

SAM: Now... we know...

S. CLOUD: that... sword... isn't

S. COUNTESS: ...making... upppppp... -drool-

AKIRA: lack offffffffffff -in heaven-

AERIS: GREATNESS! -bright red and flustered-

TATSUYA: What is people in this part and dropping their pants?

AERIS: -covers his mouth- I DON'T MIND!!!

CLOUD: -runs in- Stop corupting Aeris, Seph- =sees Sephiroth and curls up into a ball on the floor and cries=

CAMERA MEN: We're still filming!

TATSUYA: -sputters- but, but!!!!!!

SEPHIROTH: I WIN! -attempts to strike a... ah... pose. Girls get a bloody nose at this-

HOJO: No fair! -cries- Yours is all firm and big...

AERIS: -nods rapidly in agreement with Hojo's statement and leers at Sephiroth with naked lust-

SEPHIROTH: And you're is all ratty and nasty! EWWWWWWWWW! What do you use it for?

RACHEAL: -pukes on Hojo, who is already covered in vomit-

TATSUYA: but...

CLOUD: -chanting and crying- I will never be like Sephiroth. He is truly a SOLDIER and man... He is a GOD!

TATSUYA: their...

AERIS: -pounces on Sephiroth, knocking him to the ground-

TATSUYA: only....

ALL: -watches Aeris tear off Sephiroth's coat like a wild animal-

TATSUYA: a pikachu dolls tied around their waists!

AKIRA: -watches in amazement as the Sephiroth tries in vain to flee from lust-possesed Aeris- I know... This fic is R, not NC-17... yet.

SEPHIROTH: meeep!!! NOT THERE!!! NOT MY PIKACHU DOLL!

AERIS: -seductively- I bet that got your thunderbolt up! ^_~.

HOJO: -is amazed at Aeris' strength and... ahhh.. you know-


MEANWHILE!


RAISA: WOW! My plan worked!!! -dances around and takes a deep breath- KEKEKEKEMAHAHAHAMOOAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHE!!! HENTAI! -whips out pencil-

-Raisa begins to work, little does she know another Villain is about to enter... the ANTI-SEPHERIS-