Angst-a-thon
Announcer"
"Let the games begin! The players are Iceman, Cyclops, Beast, Storm, Gambit, Rogue, Psylocke, and Wolverine."
Bobby Drake stood in the middle of room. Lights are dimmed.
Iceman:
"I'll start. My father hates mutants."
Storm:
"At least you have a father. Mine's dead."
Rogue:
"At least you knew your father!"
Gambit and Wolverine nodded in agreement.
Iceman:
"I can't keep a girlfriend."
Gambit:
"Oh please. You can' hold a candlelight t' the shit I've put up wit'. I was left t' die by one an' de other tried t' kill me."
Wolverine:
"My girlfriend tried to kill me and the other one is married to a dick."
Cyclops:
"I had a clone that turned into a demon."
Rogue:
"Ah can't touch anyone."
Beast and Storm:
"I was dumped."
Bobby:
"Okay how about someone took over my body and used my powers far better than I ever had."
Psylocke:
"Don't even go there."
She pouted lovely Asian lips.
Beast:
"An evil alternate persona of myself lived among you people and no one noticed."
Iceman:
"Okay, last shot. Everyone thinks I'm gay!"
Dead silence.
Cyclops:
"Well aren't you?"
Iceman:
"Next!"
Cyclops:
"Okay, I have a child older than me."
Rogue:
"At least you can have a child."
Gambit:
"At least you were getting' some t' have de child."
The rest of the male population agreed.
Cyclops:
"My brother tried to kill me."
Storm:
"There is that family thing again."
Gambit and Rogue agreed.
Cyclops:
"My wife has more lives than a cat."
Psylocke:
"At least you're married."
Cyclops:
"Mister Sinister keeps trying to get a piece of me."
Gambit:
"Tell me about 't."
Rogue:
"Mystique."
Wolverine:
"Sabertooth."
Storm:
"Shadow King."
Psylocke:
"Crimson Dawn."
Cyclops (shrugging):
"That's the best I can do. Hank?"
Beast:
"I'm big, blue and, furry."
Rogue:
"Ah got a skunk stripe down my head."
Wolverine:
"I'm just as furry, just not blue."
Gambit:
"I've got red eyes."
The others mumbled, but couldn't come up with anything.
Wolverine:
"Well?"
Beast:
"Um, that's it. Storm?"
Storm:
"I lived on the streets as a child."
Gambit:
"No biggie."
Storm:
"Um, I'm claustrophobic."
Wolverine:
"I'm afraid of losing myself to my feral counterpart."
Psylocke:
"I'm afraid of losing my identity to my Asian counterpart."
Iceman:
"I'm afraid of getting close to people."
Rogue:
"Touching."
Gambit:
"Medical labs."
Storm:
"Hell, I was a goddess. Next!"
Gambit:
"I can't remember before I was six."
Wolverine:
"Hah. Try before you were forty."
Gambit:
"I live with guilt on my soul."
Rogue:
"Self-inflicted."
Gambit:
"No body trusts me."
Psylocke:
"Self-inflicted."
Gambit:
"I can't touch the girl I love."
Iceman:
"Haven't we been there?"
Gambit:
"LOVE! Hello?! I was thrown out of two adopted families!"
Everyone was silent.
Gambit:
"The guilt's bad isn't 't."
Cyclops:
"Anything else?"
Gambit:
"Let me see. Oh yeah, and nobody likes my cooking."
Wolverine:
"Well some people have taste. Next!"
Rogue:
"I have that schizoid thing with Carol Danvers."
Psylocke:
"Kwannon!"
Wolverine:
"My feral side!"
Gambit:
"And you can't use that touch thing again."
Rogue:
"Damn. Well, next."
Psylocke:
"I was used as a video camera for Mojo and a host body for an assassin."
Cyclops:
"Used as DNA for Sinister."
Wolverine:
"Used as a pin cushion for the Canadian government."
Rogue:
"Used as a villain for Mystique."
Gambit:
"Used as a peace keeper for the Guild."
Iceman:
"Used as a host body for the White Queen."
Psylocke:
"Okay, how about going through my nympho period without relief."
Iceman:
"Everyday of my life."
Gambit:
"Y' never came t' me."
Psylocke:
"Men are afraid of me."
Gambit:
"Self-inflicted."
Psylocke:
"Next."
Wolverine:
"I have no past."
Gambit:
"Take mine."
Rogue:
"And mine."
Wolverine:
"These heightened senses really aren't good going into thee bathroom after Hank."
Beast:
"Hey!"
Wolverine:
"My skeleton was ripped out of my body."
Silence.
Wolverine:
"The young girls look at me like a daddy figure."
Cyclops:
"Well, my kids look at me as their kid."
Wolverine:
"I question the dream."
Storm:
"Well, duh."
Gambit:
"I'm here for de free rent."
Announcer:
Well it looks like we have a winner.
Jean Grey-Summers
"Hi guys! Can I play?"
Everyone:
NO!!
Announcer"
"Let the games begin! The players are Iceman, Cyclops, Beast, Storm, Gambit, Rogue, Psylocke, and Wolverine."
Bobby Drake stood in the middle of room. Lights are dimmed.
Iceman:
"I'll start. My father hates mutants."
Storm:
"At least you have a father. Mine's dead."
Rogue:
"At least you knew your father!"
Gambit and Wolverine nodded in agreement.
Iceman:
"I can't keep a girlfriend."
Gambit:
"Oh please. You can' hold a candlelight t' the shit I've put up wit'. I was left t' die by one an' de other tried t' kill me."
Wolverine:
"My girlfriend tried to kill me and the other one is married to a dick."
Cyclops:
"I had a clone that turned into a demon."
Rogue:
"Ah can't touch anyone."
Beast and Storm:
"I was dumped."
Bobby:
"Okay how about someone took over my body and used my powers far better than I ever had."
Psylocke:
"Don't even go there."
She pouted lovely Asian lips.
Beast:
"An evil alternate persona of myself lived among you people and no one noticed."
Iceman:
"Okay, last shot. Everyone thinks I'm gay!"
Dead silence.
Cyclops:
"Well aren't you?"
Iceman:
"Next!"
Cyclops:
"Okay, I have a child older than me."
Rogue:
"At least you can have a child."
Gambit:
"At least you were getting' some t' have de child."
The rest of the male population agreed.
Cyclops:
"My brother tried to kill me."
Storm:
"There is that family thing again."
Gambit and Rogue agreed.
Cyclops:
"My wife has more lives than a cat."
Psylocke:
"At least you're married."
Cyclops:
"Mister Sinister keeps trying to get a piece of me."
Gambit:
"Tell me about 't."
Rogue:
"Mystique."
Wolverine:
"Sabertooth."
Storm:
"Shadow King."
Psylocke:
"Crimson Dawn."
Cyclops (shrugging):
"That's the best I can do. Hank?"
Beast:
"I'm big, blue and, furry."
Rogue:
"Ah got a skunk stripe down my head."
Wolverine:
"I'm just as furry, just not blue."
Gambit:
"I've got red eyes."
The others mumbled, but couldn't come up with anything.
Wolverine:
"Well?"
Beast:
"Um, that's it. Storm?"
Storm:
"I lived on the streets as a child."
Gambit:
"No biggie."
Storm:
"Um, I'm claustrophobic."
Wolverine:
"I'm afraid of losing myself to my feral counterpart."
Psylocke:
"I'm afraid of losing my identity to my Asian counterpart."
Iceman:
"I'm afraid of getting close to people."
Rogue:
"Touching."
Gambit:
"Medical labs."
Storm:
"Hell, I was a goddess. Next!"
Gambit:
"I can't remember before I was six."
Wolverine:
"Hah. Try before you were forty."
Gambit:
"I live with guilt on my soul."
Rogue:
"Self-inflicted."
Gambit:
"No body trusts me."
Psylocke:
"Self-inflicted."
Gambit:
"I can't touch the girl I love."
Iceman:
"Haven't we been there?"
Gambit:
"LOVE! Hello?! I was thrown out of two adopted families!"
Everyone was silent.
Gambit:
"The guilt's bad isn't 't."
Cyclops:
"Anything else?"
Gambit:
"Let me see. Oh yeah, and nobody likes my cooking."
Wolverine:
"Well some people have taste. Next!"
Rogue:
"I have that schizoid thing with Carol Danvers."
Psylocke:
"Kwannon!"
Wolverine:
"My feral side!"
Gambit:
"And you can't use that touch thing again."
Rogue:
"Damn. Well, next."
Psylocke:
"I was used as a video camera for Mojo and a host body for an assassin."
Cyclops:
"Used as DNA for Sinister."
Wolverine:
"Used as a pin cushion for the Canadian government."
Rogue:
"Used as a villain for Mystique."
Gambit:
"Used as a peace keeper for the Guild."
Iceman:
"Used as a host body for the White Queen."
Psylocke:
"Okay, how about going through my nympho period without relief."
Iceman:
"Everyday of my life."
Gambit:
"Y' never came t' me."
Psylocke:
"Men are afraid of me."
Gambit:
"Self-inflicted."
Psylocke:
"Next."
Wolverine:
"I have no past."
Gambit:
"Take mine."
Rogue:
"And mine."
Wolverine:
"These heightened senses really aren't good going into thee bathroom after Hank."
Beast:
"Hey!"
Wolverine:
"My skeleton was ripped out of my body."
Silence.
Wolverine:
"The young girls look at me like a daddy figure."
Cyclops:
"Well, my kids look at me as their kid."
Wolverine:
"I question the dream."
Storm:
"Well, duh."
Gambit:
"I'm here for de free rent."
Announcer:
Well it looks like we have a winner.
Jean Grey-Summers
"Hi guys! Can I play?"
Everyone:
NO!!
