Don't Want You Back
Chapter 2
Author: Lockhart
E-mail: Katie@ballantyne24.freeserve.co.uk
Category: Susan Lewis/ Mark Greene/ Elizabeth Corday
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Contains spoilers for season 6 and 7
Archive: Archive this fic on your site if you wish but please let me know first
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters but I sure wish I did
Authors Notes: See end of fic
Summary: Continuation of Don't Want You Back Chapter 1
Mark couldn't believe his eyes. Maybe this was an imaginary illusion, maybe the woman that stood a few yards away from him wasn't really Susan Lewis. Perhaps he just didn't want to believe it really was the woman he last saw on a train heading for Phoenix. "Susan?" Mark shook his head in disbelief.
"Hello Mark" she smiled, happy to see her best friend again.
"What are you doing back?" he asked.
Susan's smile faded. It was silly to expect him to jump for joy at seeing the woman who left him after his declaration of love. "I'm an attending here now" she answered rubbing the back of her neck with her right hand.
Should I be happy now that Susan is back, Mark asked himself. Four years ago she left me with a broken heart and now am I supposed to welcome her back with my arms wide open? After my assault I needed her there by my side to comfort and love me but she still never returned. I had to go through a difficult part of my life without my best friend. But it is wonderful to see Susan's face again. I've missed you so much.
Talk to me Mark. thought Susan. Please say something. Are you pleased to see me, or full of bitterness and resent? No, you have a kind heart Mark. I have thought about you over the past years and missed you terribly. If only you could read my mind. Mark, I'm pleading with you, forgive me for leaving you.
"It's great to have you back" he finally said before giving her a hug.
"Oh Mark" Susan glowed with happiness as she wrapped her arms tight around his waist. It felt so safe in his warm embrace.
"Dr Greene, labs are back on Mrs Stewart" Conni told him whilst handing over a chart.
"Thanks Conni" Mark said before finally letting go of Susan. "See you later"
"Goodbye Mark" Susan replied cheerfully.
"Dr Lewis, EMT's rolling up with a nine month baby"Abby informed her.
"Okay" Susan sighed grabbing a pair of gloves and dashing outside to the ambulance bay.
"Nine month year old girl, parents found her unconscious in her crib, Pulse 90, BP 50/80, resps 10 per minute" Pickman informed, unloading the patient from the ambulance.
"She's cyanotic"Susan sighed sadly, noticing the blue around her lips and fingers. "Is Trauma 2 free?" Susan asked Frank, running behind the paramedics.
"Yeh I think so"Frank answered whilst on the telephone.
"Please save my baby" the mother cried in tears. "Don't let Jennifer die!"
"We'll try our best"Susan replied entering through the doors of the trauma room. "Okay gently on my count, 1, 2, 3" she counted as the paramedics rolled her patient onto the bed. "Okay lets get a mask on her, get a Chem 7, blood gas and pulse ox"
"BP still pretty low, 50/70" Lydia told her.
"She's hypertensive, start an IV drip of Dopamine" Susan ordered whilst listening to the baby's lungs through her stethoscope.
"Pulse Ox 90" Heleh measured.
"Alright we'll raise the epi to get a better pulse and we'll also do an ABG"
"Doctor what's wrong with my baby?" asked Mrs Ross.
"We don't know but we're doing everything we can to help her" Susan answered honestly. "It might be better if you wait outside in chairs"
"No we want to stay here with Jennifer" the father replied coldly.
"Dr Lewis we've lost the pulse!" Lydia shouted.
"Okay we nedd to intubate" Susan said as Haleh brought over the Intubation Tray. She used the laryngoscope to open the baby's larynx and inserted the tube into the trachea through the mouth. "I'm in bag her"
"Jennifer!" screamed Mrs Ross.
"Starting chest compressions" Susan stated as she pressed down on the patient's chest. She felt a tiny tear trickle down her cheek. This brought back too many painful memories for her. "Lydia will go find Weaver?" she asked, choking in tears.
"Okay" the nurse nodded as she exited the room.
Susan tried her best to hold back the tears. She couldn't let another mother go through the same pain she had to endure.
"What's the bullet?" Kerry asked as she limped into the room.
"Just take over please" Susan whispered as she ran as fast as she could out of Trauma 2. The tears fell freely down her face and onto her white lab coat as she dashed past reception, gaining speed as she ran. Finally stopping at the stairs she sat down on the bottom step and buried her head in her hands. Jennifer's tiny face, tiny fingers, the lock of her golden hair on her head.......... It reminded Susan of another tiny baby. It was hurting so much.
** "You can't stop my access to Susie!" Susan yelled in fury.
"She's my daughter!" Chloe screamed back at her sister. "My daughter, I gave birth to her, not you Susan!"
"Do you remember when you left her Chloe? Huh, do you remember that? I had to look after her, I had to comfort her. When she was crying I fed her, when she was tired I sang her a lullaby. Susie is just as much my daughter as she is yours"
"No Susan you are wrong. I'm this baby's mother and I make the decisions in her life. I am warning you to stay away from Susie and me"
With those last words Chloe ran out of the house and slammed the door shut in rage. Susan was left all alone in the cold empty house....again. **
"Susan are you okay?" John asked taking a seat beside the upset woman.
"I'm fine she replied breathing heavily.
"Come here" he shook his head, placing his arm around her. "Did Weaver upset you?"
"No" she said, her eyes yet agian filling up with tears.
"What's wrong Susan? I'm your friend, I do care about you"
"I keep seeing her John" Susan wept. "Her beautiful, tiny face. It hurts so much. It's my fault, I lost her because I got angry"
"Who?" John asked. He couldn't understand what she was trying to tell him.
"I miss her so much. I'll never see her ever again and it's all my fault. My fault!"
"Is it Susie?"
"Oh John!" Susan cried burying her face in his chest. She felt physically sick and was shaking all over. Nobody could understand her pain. She was all alone.
"It's okay" he told her, stroking her chestnut brown hair with his hand. "It's okay"
No it's not okay, Susan thought. It will never be okay. I'm sorry John but you will never understand.
********
"Mark!"Elizabeth shouted across the Admin desk.
"Hi Darling" he kissed her tenderly on the lips.
"Look Mark I'm sorry about this morning, it's stupid to argue about our wedding arrangements. As long as I become Mrs Greene I don't care what hotel we hold the reception in"
"Yeh I'm sorry too" he kissed her again. "Hey you want to go out tonight for dinner?"
"Okay, if you're buying" she laughed.
"There's a new Italian restaurant opened a few blocks away from here, I thought we could give it a try?"
"Sounds great" Elizabeth replied.
"Oh I want to introduce you to someone" he smiled taking her hand and leading her through the hospital to the stairs by the elevator.
"Hi Mark" Susan greeted him wiping away her tears.
Oh great, thought Carter. He's going to introduce Susan to Elizabeth. Not a smart move Mark.
"I think I have a patient in Curtain 2 to see" John lied, sprinting away as fast as he could.
"Susan, I'd like you to meet Elizabeth Corday, my beautiful fiancee" Mark introduced the pair.
"We've already met" Susan glared angrily at Elizabeth, remembering the incident earlier. She noticed the surgeon's large bump which Mark placed his hand tenderly over. Pangs of jealousy hit her heart like tiny bullets fired from a gun. Of course she expected Mark to have moved on, but not engaged and about to experience fatherhood for a second time.
"Is there some sort of social event going on that I'm not aware of?"Romano barked as he walked up to the three doctors. "Ah Dr Lewis"he smiled facing her. "You can't seem to keep away from me today"
"Must be the aftershave you're wearing"she answered sarcastically.
"Or it could be my rugged, handsome good looks that most women find irresistable"
Susan struggled hard to smile. His cocky lady-killer grin which he flashed to her almost made her feel sick to the stomach.
"Dr Lewis, can I have a word please?" Kerry asked from afar.
"Sure" she sighed, knowing well this was about the baby she ran out on.
"Goodbye Susie"Romano grinned.
"It's Susan" she told him sharply. Susie.............Susie. Just the name brought tears to her eyes.
"What have you never been called Susie before?" he asked her. "Sounds so cute, Susie Lewis"
"Yes well my name is Susan" Susie was gone, just a painful memory of the past. Susan walked away, wiping the tears away from her eyes. She didn't need to be reminded of her neice, a part of her past.
"Goodbye Sus-an" Robert laughed, the sarcasm showing in his voice. "Like I told, she has great legs" he whispered to Elizabeth before heading for the elevators. Lizzie simply shook her head and sighed.
********
"You wanted to see me Dr Weaver?" Susan asked as she closed the door of the staff room behind her.
"I think you know what this is about" the chief replied, pouring herself out a large cup of coffee.
"I'm sorry, I let my emotions get the better of me whilst treating the baby, it will not happen again"
"Susan it can't happen. You are an attending now, you have to set a good example. I remember this happened years ago"
"Here we go again!"Susan shouted in rage. "Yes four years ago I lost my neice and yes I was a liitle emotional but I've changed now"
"Susan what's happened to you, I've never seen you so angry before"
"Oh cut the caring act Kerry, you've never liked me so you don't need to act like my friend"
"Dr Lewis you better change your attitude fast or you will not be back here for very long" Kerry threatened her before quickly leaving.
Susan punched the wall with her fist. She didn't need everyone's sympathy. All she wanted was one man's love.
********
"The food was great there" Elizabeth exclaimed as she sat down in the comfortable chair of her own sitting room.
"I agree. Want a coffee?" Mark asked.
"Yes please" his fiancee replied. "I can't wait till the scan tomorrow"
"What do you think it'll be, a boy or a girl?"
"Something tells me we will be the proud parents of a little girl" Elizabeth laughed.
"Really, I have a feeling it'll be a boy" he said.
"Oh Mark!" she continued to laugh whilst throwing a cushion at him.
"Amy for a girl, Joshua for a boy" he remembered throwing the cushion back at her. "You know what else I was thinking, we should invite some friends over for dinner some time, eh?"
"Nice idea, we could invite Abby and Luka"
"Mmmmmm, or Carter and Susan"
Susan....... It had been a lovely conversation about the baby, until her name was mentioned. Mark had talked about her non stop during dinner. Apparently they were good friends before she left for Phoenix. There was something about the woman that Elizabeth didn't like. Mark had chatted about her as if they were past lovers. Maybe it was all in her silly imagination.Mark was marrying her, not Susan. But there was something definately not right. I'm going to get to the bottom of this, Elizabeth thought. There is no way I am going to lose the man of my dreams to her!
********
"I can't believe Mark is engaged" Susan shook her head in disbelief. "Can't say I like his choice of girlfriend"
"Susan you hardly know her!" Carter frowned.
"So?"
"So you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, ever heard that phrase?"
"Are you guys ready to order?"a friendly waitress asked as she aproached them. Susan has finally decided to join Carter for a friendly drink in Doc Magoos.
"Just a coffee" John answered.
"Yeh the same please" Susan smiled as she handed the waitress back the menu.
"It's great to have you back Susan" John finally said after a long pause of ackward silence.
"I heard about your stabbing" she replied sadly.
"Yeh" he nodded. "I'm lucky to be alive. My student Lucy didn't survive, which was partly my fault"
"You shouldn't blame yourself" she said taking hold of his hand.
"Why, I am partly to blame. I didn't supervise her and because of my negligance I lost her. Lucy was a great friend. It hurts every time I think about her.
Susan nodded. She understood every word John spoke because she had been through the exact same pain.
"After the stabbing I became addicted to to painkillers. The lowest point of my life was when I stole some Fentanyl from the hospital. I was so desperate at the time. I felt as though I couldn't go on anymore. Mark and Kerry found out about my drug addiction and I finally agreed to check myself in at a clinic in Atlanta. It was tough there, you have no idea how hard a time it was in Atlanta"
"I'm so sorry John" Susan apologised. "I should have been here to help you through the tough times"
"Don't blame yourself Susan. I've finally realised my mistakes and now trying to get my life back together"
Susan stared blankly out of the window. She sighed and clicked her tongue as she watched the tiny droplets of rain fall down the window. She now had to get her life back together too. There was only one man who could make it complete - Mark Greene.
Authors Notes: So it's shaping up into a fight between Elizabeth and Susan for Mark Greene's affections but what does each woman have in store for each other? Will Mark find himself falling in love again with Dr Lewis or is Elizabeth his true soulmate? Did Susan ever see Susie again and what really did happen in Phoenix? Find out in Chapter 3! As always any feedback is greatly accepted.
Chapter 2
Author: Lockhart
E-mail: Katie@ballantyne24.freeserve.co.uk
Category: Susan Lewis/ Mark Greene/ Elizabeth Corday
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Contains spoilers for season 6 and 7
Archive: Archive this fic on your site if you wish but please let me know first
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters but I sure wish I did
Authors Notes: See end of fic
Summary: Continuation of Don't Want You Back Chapter 1
Mark couldn't believe his eyes. Maybe this was an imaginary illusion, maybe the woman that stood a few yards away from him wasn't really Susan Lewis. Perhaps he just didn't want to believe it really was the woman he last saw on a train heading for Phoenix. "Susan?" Mark shook his head in disbelief.
"Hello Mark" she smiled, happy to see her best friend again.
"What are you doing back?" he asked.
Susan's smile faded. It was silly to expect him to jump for joy at seeing the woman who left him after his declaration of love. "I'm an attending here now" she answered rubbing the back of her neck with her right hand.
Should I be happy now that Susan is back, Mark asked himself. Four years ago she left me with a broken heart and now am I supposed to welcome her back with my arms wide open? After my assault I needed her there by my side to comfort and love me but she still never returned. I had to go through a difficult part of my life without my best friend. But it is wonderful to see Susan's face again. I've missed you so much.
Talk to me Mark. thought Susan. Please say something. Are you pleased to see me, or full of bitterness and resent? No, you have a kind heart Mark. I have thought about you over the past years and missed you terribly. If only you could read my mind. Mark, I'm pleading with you, forgive me for leaving you.
"It's great to have you back" he finally said before giving her a hug.
"Oh Mark" Susan glowed with happiness as she wrapped her arms tight around his waist. It felt so safe in his warm embrace.
"Dr Greene, labs are back on Mrs Stewart" Conni told him whilst handing over a chart.
"Thanks Conni" Mark said before finally letting go of Susan. "See you later"
"Goodbye Mark" Susan replied cheerfully.
"Dr Lewis, EMT's rolling up with a nine month baby"Abby informed her.
"Okay" Susan sighed grabbing a pair of gloves and dashing outside to the ambulance bay.
"Nine month year old girl, parents found her unconscious in her crib, Pulse 90, BP 50/80, resps 10 per minute" Pickman informed, unloading the patient from the ambulance.
"She's cyanotic"Susan sighed sadly, noticing the blue around her lips and fingers. "Is Trauma 2 free?" Susan asked Frank, running behind the paramedics.
"Yeh I think so"Frank answered whilst on the telephone.
"Please save my baby" the mother cried in tears. "Don't let Jennifer die!"
"We'll try our best"Susan replied entering through the doors of the trauma room. "Okay gently on my count, 1, 2, 3" she counted as the paramedics rolled her patient onto the bed. "Okay lets get a mask on her, get a Chem 7, blood gas and pulse ox"
"BP still pretty low, 50/70" Lydia told her.
"She's hypertensive, start an IV drip of Dopamine" Susan ordered whilst listening to the baby's lungs through her stethoscope.
"Pulse Ox 90" Heleh measured.
"Alright we'll raise the epi to get a better pulse and we'll also do an ABG"
"Doctor what's wrong with my baby?" asked Mrs Ross.
"We don't know but we're doing everything we can to help her" Susan answered honestly. "It might be better if you wait outside in chairs"
"No we want to stay here with Jennifer" the father replied coldly.
"Dr Lewis we've lost the pulse!" Lydia shouted.
"Okay we nedd to intubate" Susan said as Haleh brought over the Intubation Tray. She used the laryngoscope to open the baby's larynx and inserted the tube into the trachea through the mouth. "I'm in bag her"
"Jennifer!" screamed Mrs Ross.
"Starting chest compressions" Susan stated as she pressed down on the patient's chest. She felt a tiny tear trickle down her cheek. This brought back too many painful memories for her. "Lydia will go find Weaver?" she asked, choking in tears.
"Okay" the nurse nodded as she exited the room.
Susan tried her best to hold back the tears. She couldn't let another mother go through the same pain she had to endure.
"What's the bullet?" Kerry asked as she limped into the room.
"Just take over please" Susan whispered as she ran as fast as she could out of Trauma 2. The tears fell freely down her face and onto her white lab coat as she dashed past reception, gaining speed as she ran. Finally stopping at the stairs she sat down on the bottom step and buried her head in her hands. Jennifer's tiny face, tiny fingers, the lock of her golden hair on her head.......... It reminded Susan of another tiny baby. It was hurting so much.
** "You can't stop my access to Susie!" Susan yelled in fury.
"She's my daughter!" Chloe screamed back at her sister. "My daughter, I gave birth to her, not you Susan!"
"Do you remember when you left her Chloe? Huh, do you remember that? I had to look after her, I had to comfort her. When she was crying I fed her, when she was tired I sang her a lullaby. Susie is just as much my daughter as she is yours"
"No Susan you are wrong. I'm this baby's mother and I make the decisions in her life. I am warning you to stay away from Susie and me"
With those last words Chloe ran out of the house and slammed the door shut in rage. Susan was left all alone in the cold empty house....again. **
"Susan are you okay?" John asked taking a seat beside the upset woman.
"I'm fine she replied breathing heavily.
"Come here" he shook his head, placing his arm around her. "Did Weaver upset you?"
"No" she said, her eyes yet agian filling up with tears.
"What's wrong Susan? I'm your friend, I do care about you"
"I keep seeing her John" Susan wept. "Her beautiful, tiny face. It hurts so much. It's my fault, I lost her because I got angry"
"Who?" John asked. He couldn't understand what she was trying to tell him.
"I miss her so much. I'll never see her ever again and it's all my fault. My fault!"
"Is it Susie?"
"Oh John!" Susan cried burying her face in his chest. She felt physically sick and was shaking all over. Nobody could understand her pain. She was all alone.
"It's okay" he told her, stroking her chestnut brown hair with his hand. "It's okay"
No it's not okay, Susan thought. It will never be okay. I'm sorry John but you will never understand.
********
"Mark!"Elizabeth shouted across the Admin desk.
"Hi Darling" he kissed her tenderly on the lips.
"Look Mark I'm sorry about this morning, it's stupid to argue about our wedding arrangements. As long as I become Mrs Greene I don't care what hotel we hold the reception in"
"Yeh I'm sorry too" he kissed her again. "Hey you want to go out tonight for dinner?"
"Okay, if you're buying" she laughed.
"There's a new Italian restaurant opened a few blocks away from here, I thought we could give it a try?"
"Sounds great" Elizabeth replied.
"Oh I want to introduce you to someone" he smiled taking her hand and leading her through the hospital to the stairs by the elevator.
"Hi Mark" Susan greeted him wiping away her tears.
Oh great, thought Carter. He's going to introduce Susan to Elizabeth. Not a smart move Mark.
"I think I have a patient in Curtain 2 to see" John lied, sprinting away as fast as he could.
"Susan, I'd like you to meet Elizabeth Corday, my beautiful fiancee" Mark introduced the pair.
"We've already met" Susan glared angrily at Elizabeth, remembering the incident earlier. She noticed the surgeon's large bump which Mark placed his hand tenderly over. Pangs of jealousy hit her heart like tiny bullets fired from a gun. Of course she expected Mark to have moved on, but not engaged and about to experience fatherhood for a second time.
"Is there some sort of social event going on that I'm not aware of?"Romano barked as he walked up to the three doctors. "Ah Dr Lewis"he smiled facing her. "You can't seem to keep away from me today"
"Must be the aftershave you're wearing"she answered sarcastically.
"Or it could be my rugged, handsome good looks that most women find irresistable"
Susan struggled hard to smile. His cocky lady-killer grin which he flashed to her almost made her feel sick to the stomach.
"Dr Lewis, can I have a word please?" Kerry asked from afar.
"Sure" she sighed, knowing well this was about the baby she ran out on.
"Goodbye Susie"Romano grinned.
"It's Susan" she told him sharply. Susie.............Susie. Just the name brought tears to her eyes.
"What have you never been called Susie before?" he asked her. "Sounds so cute, Susie Lewis"
"Yes well my name is Susan" Susie was gone, just a painful memory of the past. Susan walked away, wiping the tears away from her eyes. She didn't need to be reminded of her neice, a part of her past.
"Goodbye Sus-an" Robert laughed, the sarcasm showing in his voice. "Like I told, she has great legs" he whispered to Elizabeth before heading for the elevators. Lizzie simply shook her head and sighed.
********
"You wanted to see me Dr Weaver?" Susan asked as she closed the door of the staff room behind her.
"I think you know what this is about" the chief replied, pouring herself out a large cup of coffee.
"I'm sorry, I let my emotions get the better of me whilst treating the baby, it will not happen again"
"Susan it can't happen. You are an attending now, you have to set a good example. I remember this happened years ago"
"Here we go again!"Susan shouted in rage. "Yes four years ago I lost my neice and yes I was a liitle emotional but I've changed now"
"Susan what's happened to you, I've never seen you so angry before"
"Oh cut the caring act Kerry, you've never liked me so you don't need to act like my friend"
"Dr Lewis you better change your attitude fast or you will not be back here for very long" Kerry threatened her before quickly leaving.
Susan punched the wall with her fist. She didn't need everyone's sympathy. All she wanted was one man's love.
********
"The food was great there" Elizabeth exclaimed as she sat down in the comfortable chair of her own sitting room.
"I agree. Want a coffee?" Mark asked.
"Yes please" his fiancee replied. "I can't wait till the scan tomorrow"
"What do you think it'll be, a boy or a girl?"
"Something tells me we will be the proud parents of a little girl" Elizabeth laughed.
"Really, I have a feeling it'll be a boy" he said.
"Oh Mark!" she continued to laugh whilst throwing a cushion at him.
"Amy for a girl, Joshua for a boy" he remembered throwing the cushion back at her. "You know what else I was thinking, we should invite some friends over for dinner some time, eh?"
"Nice idea, we could invite Abby and Luka"
"Mmmmmm, or Carter and Susan"
Susan....... It had been a lovely conversation about the baby, until her name was mentioned. Mark had talked about her non stop during dinner. Apparently they were good friends before she left for Phoenix. There was something about the woman that Elizabeth didn't like. Mark had chatted about her as if they were past lovers. Maybe it was all in her silly imagination.Mark was marrying her, not Susan. But there was something definately not right. I'm going to get to the bottom of this, Elizabeth thought. There is no way I am going to lose the man of my dreams to her!
********
"I can't believe Mark is engaged" Susan shook her head in disbelief. "Can't say I like his choice of girlfriend"
"Susan you hardly know her!" Carter frowned.
"So?"
"So you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, ever heard that phrase?"
"Are you guys ready to order?"a friendly waitress asked as she aproached them. Susan has finally decided to join Carter for a friendly drink in Doc Magoos.
"Just a coffee" John answered.
"Yeh the same please" Susan smiled as she handed the waitress back the menu.
"It's great to have you back Susan" John finally said after a long pause of ackward silence.
"I heard about your stabbing" she replied sadly.
"Yeh" he nodded. "I'm lucky to be alive. My student Lucy didn't survive, which was partly my fault"
"You shouldn't blame yourself" she said taking hold of his hand.
"Why, I am partly to blame. I didn't supervise her and because of my negligance I lost her. Lucy was a great friend. It hurts every time I think about her.
Susan nodded. She understood every word John spoke because she had been through the exact same pain.
"After the stabbing I became addicted to to painkillers. The lowest point of my life was when I stole some Fentanyl from the hospital. I was so desperate at the time. I felt as though I couldn't go on anymore. Mark and Kerry found out about my drug addiction and I finally agreed to check myself in at a clinic in Atlanta. It was tough there, you have no idea how hard a time it was in Atlanta"
"I'm so sorry John" Susan apologised. "I should have been here to help you through the tough times"
"Don't blame yourself Susan. I've finally realised my mistakes and now trying to get my life back together"
Susan stared blankly out of the window. She sighed and clicked her tongue as she watched the tiny droplets of rain fall down the window. She now had to get her life back together too. There was only one man who could make it complete - Mark Greene.
Authors Notes: So it's shaping up into a fight between Elizabeth and Susan for Mark Greene's affections but what does each woman have in store for each other? Will Mark find himself falling in love again with Dr Lewis or is Elizabeth his true soulmate? Did Susan ever see Susie again and what really did happen in Phoenix? Find out in Chapter 3! As always any feedback is greatly accepted.
