Lord of the Rings Graphiti: Part One

Scrawled at the top of the Stone of Orthanc in spidery writing: "I survived the Tower of Saruman and all I got was this stupid T-shirt!"

Under that, in rigid, more deeply carved letters: "Indeed, Gandalf the GREY, and I'm sending my Uruk-Hai to rip it right off you!"

On the Party Tree at Bag End: "Frodo has Ring around the collar."

On Gandalf's staff: "My other staff is a broom."

On Frodo's pipe: "Stud Hobbit."

On the back of Sam's gardening wagon: "Horn broken, watch for finger."

On the side of Bill the Pony's hoof: "If found, return to Sam Gamgee, Gardening God, Bagshot Row, the Shire."

On the side of Merry's tankard: "This vessel has doubled as an urn."
Underneath that: "You don't scare me, Pippin."