Middle Earth Graphiti Part 4: Bree(with some Shire thrown in)

On the back of Frodo and Sam's boat: "Driver carries only costume jewlery."

On Bilbo's No Admittance sign: "Like THIS is going to keep anyone out."
Under that, in Gandalf's writing: "Yes, but my wizard's staff WILL!"
(both above are credited to StarlingSilver8...the rest are mine)

On Bill Ferny's gate: "One wretched pony and a grouchy old man live here."

Also, on Bill's gate(no, not Bill Gates!): "And I'll get more than grouchy if you pass without my permission!"

On the edge of the counter at the Prancing Pony: "The Hell's Angels were here."

In the ye olde outhouse stalls: "For a good time, message Mr. Richard(Dick) Hurtz, 69 Trickturn Lane, Bree."

On another stall: "Attention all Istari! Orc slaves for sale, domesticated and charmed to obey. Pottytrained. Message Saruman of Many Colors, Orthanc Tower, Isengard. Will be willing to trade for Longbottom Leaf."

On another stall: "Eowyn loves Aragorn."
Beneath that: "I fear 'tis the fair Arwen who has my heart, my Lady, as I told thee."
Beneath that, in more shaky writing: "Then suffer the vengence of my sword on our next meeting, Dunedain!"
Under that: "!!!!!!!!!"

In yet another stall: "Where's the beef?"
Under that: "You don't want to know."

On a table frequented by Aragorn: "Stop putting your feet on my table, Strider!"
And under that: "Strider shags Elves."

On the sign of the Prancing Pony, under the letters: "The Badass Black Rider"

In the room the Hobbits and Aragorn stayed in: "We know where you are. And we know what you're wearing."

On Barliman's shot glass: "Bottoms and Chins Up."

On another sign on the door of the Prancing Pony: "No shoes, no shirt, no insurance, no service!"

On Nob's big red nose: "Emergency Stress Button."