Well, hello! And Welcome to My Little World of Weirdness!

I state for the record that, despite the fact I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the characters that will grace this story; it's all CLAMP's! Always has been, always will be!

Also I don't pretend to have any Mastery over the language of Japanese or any clue as to correct grammatical structure. I put it in and hope it gets across the point I'm trying to make!

Also, I've only ever seen the American dub, the first 3 and the 5th DVDs of the sub. Everything else about the whole Sakura-Eriol-Yue arch I've gleaned from the Internet. Sorry if they are all OOC or I slip up and start calling Syaoran, simply Li. Someone? Do tell me if I do that! And before I get any complaints, consider them all to be in their mid-teens, the time when everybody starts making dirty little jokes!!



"Speaking"

*Stress/emphasis*

//Thinking//



The Magical, Mythical, Mischievous Master Clow.

By Dr Megalomania.

For a small city called Tomoeda, of the lovely isle of Japan, the week began like any other. For four magical guardians, the week began hellishly with the activation of an ancient curse, bestowed upon them a long, long time ago . . .



Part Five: Tuesday - Kayoobi



The next morning went a little better, Kero had manage to sleep in Yukito's form so Yue grudgingly agreed that his hair wouldn't need to be combed that morning, but he demanded that the instant they could in the evening his hair would be detangled.

For Eriol, after Tomoyo had left, he had to deal with a drunk Ruby, who insisted that she have a make over. Eriol never thought he'd be glad Tomoyo had left, but he was very grateful that she wasn't there to watch Ruby Moon in Spinel Sun's body parade about the house wearing an incredibly tiny bikini. He'd thrown himself into bed that night and was waking up to the sounds of Spinel taking revenge for every morning Ruby had inflicted on them since Eriol had unsealed them. Eriol buried his head into a pillow and seriously considered staying in bed that day.



"hiirawagizawa-kun! Please try to stay with us today!" The teacher snapped, as Eriol was dropping off to sleep again.

"Gomen, Sensei." He apologised, as the bell rang for lunch.

"What's wrong with you, today?" Sakura asked as they gathered their books and headed out.

Eriol took his glasses off and rubbed his bleary eyes, "You just be thankful! You got the older guardians!"

"Hoe?"

"Spinel Sun, my serious student of the fine arts," Eriol explained, "Has discovered the finer points of American football."

As Sakura blinked at him in confusion, Eriol continued, "He's been drop- kicking Ruby out of the window! And every time she returns, he does it again. All I could hear last night was, 'Don't you ever do that again!', 'What you mean this?' and then Ruby's screams fading as she disappeared into the deep blue yonder which is my pond!"

The four stopped in the corridor to exchange their indoor shoes for their outdoor ones.

Syaoran smiled patronisingly, "Awww . . . Are our evil guardians keeping us up?"

Eriol didn't even look up from his laces as he waved his hand at Syaoran.

**BAM!!**

A locker suddenly swung open, and whacked him with the door.

"Oh! Syaoran-kun!" Sakura yelped.

"Eriol-kun, there really isn't any call for violence." Chided Tomoyo quietly.

"Oh! Yes there is!" Syaoran said as Sakura helped him to his feet.

Once Syaoran had calmed down, mostly because Sakura had whispered some deadly threat in his ear, and because Tomoyo had confiscated all of his magic charms, the four settled back under a tree.

Eriol had fallen asleep, snoring with his mouth wide open. Syaoran stared longingly at the gaping jaw, he quickly frisked his pockets in the hopes Tomoyo had missed a single charm.

Growling in frustration, he leant forward a little and hissed at the purple haired girl on the other side of his target, "Just *one*, that's *all* I'm asking for! One tiny flame charm *down* the little Creep's throat!"

"Don't be ridiculous! You might kill him!"

Syaoran cocked his head in confusion, "And that would be bad because . . ."

Eriol turned to rest his head on Tomoyo's shoulder, and lifted his hand, pointing at the branch above Syaoran's head.

**Thunk!**

"Ow!" Cried Syaoran, clutching his head, he looked up to see he'd just been hit by a . . . *Coconut*?!

Syaoran looked up into the branches of the Sakura tree they were sitting under, if anything he should have been hit by a cherry.

**Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunkthunk!**

"Eriol-kun! Cut that out!" Cried Sakura, as Syaoran lay dazed in her lap.

Curling closer to Tomoyo, Eriol muttered some undecipherable nonsense and put his thumb in his mouth.

When Syaoran regained his senses, he glared at the dozing Eriol.

"You little basta-"

**THUNK!** One last coconut shook loose of its branch.



"Call me if you make any progress!" Called Tomoyo, from her limo.

"I will!" Sakura waved as the dark window slid up. She turned her attention on Syaoran.

"Will you be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine once I cause Eriol some serious *pain*!" he growled.

"You don't really mean that, do you?" Sakura blinked at him, he joke so rarely it was hard to tell when he was just kidding.

"No, of course not!" He smiled reassuringly at his Cherry blossom and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Good." She smiled back.

"I'm going to kill the bast-" he shouted, surprising her.

"SYAORAN!!" she steamed at him.

He held up a coconut. "He dropped several coconuts on my head, several *hard* coconuts, and all you can worry about is my *language*?" He shook the coconut in front of her face, "*COCONUTS*!"

"Did you know--?"

"AHH!!" Syaoran and Sakura both yelled when Yamazaki appeared out of nowhere. He continued.

"-That coconuts were once made out of chocolate? Hence the coco part of their name, and the people of the Aztec really loved to eat them, they were just as yummy as sugar cane but bigger." He leaned closer as he shared a secret with them, "Of course all the children were getting such bad teeth because of them; the king of the Aztec decreed that the coconut be filled with water and-"

"Hai! Hai!" Chiharu walked up, "May I?" She held her hands out towards Syaoran, who handed over the coconut.

*Boink*! Yamazaki ceased his untruth immediately; Chiharu gave Syaoran the hairy brown nut back.

"Come along, I want you to taste my latest creation." She said as she dragged him by his ear.

"Then I'll have to pray to my ancestors."

Chiharu stopped and raise a fist at him, "and why's that?"

"So I don't have to join them tomorrow!" He laughed.

As Yamazaki and Chiharu continued their argument, Sakura and Syaoran exchange a brief confused look before they linked arms and walked back to Sakura's home.



"Where have you been?!" Demanded Touya the instant she set foot inside the house. "And what's that Gaki doing here?!"

"I was just walking her home!"

Touya and Syaoran exchanged bitter glares, as Sakura ran up the stairs quickly to check on her guardians.

"No, no you want to go left! Left!" Kero cried in alarm.

"I am going left!"

"Not that left!"

"Well, How many lefts are there Keroberos?!" Yue retorted in annoyance.

"You want to go the other way!"

"I'm trying to!"

"Okay, now jump. No it's the other button, the other button!!"

Sakura entered to room, Keroberos was sitting crossed legged in front of her television.

"Is everything okay?" She asked

Kero peered over his shoulder, "Yeah everything's-no! Don't take your eyes off the game!" He cried into his lap.

Sakura steeped forward to see Yue in Kero's other form, tiny paws firmly set on the game controller, sitting in Kero's lap.

"Having fun?" She asked him bemused. Yue got up and pressed his hand on the off button.

"Yes, mistress" he replied.

"Nooooooooooooo!!" Yelped Kero, "We were so close and we didn't save it."

"Save it? What do you mean save it?" Yue eyed him in confusion.

Kero was too busy sobbing to reply.

"Oi! Kaijuu! 'Touchan is home!" Touya called loudly. It had been agreed that in case their father returned home, one sibling would remain down stairs to warn the others.

"Coming!" Sakura yelled, "Come on Kero! Pull yourself together, my father's home!"

Keroberos sniffled all the way through dinner.

"You don't look very well Yukito," their father gazed at him worriedly, "And you haven't even touched your dinner."

When Kero didn't even look up, Sakura nodded at Touya, who delivered a swift kick to his shins,

"Ow! I mean, ohh!" He feigned a large sneeze, "I feel terrible, I mean really terrible, I might die!"

Another kick was swift in coming.

"I mean, die . . . of not going to school . . . and . . . being smart, 'cause you know I'm a genius and . . . That school it'll just . . . fall apart without me!" Kero babbled.

Sakura looked at the ceiling and cried a soft "Hoe!"

He father glanced at her and chuckled a bit, he smiled fondly at Keroberos,

"Keroberos . . ." he said softly, "Fujitaka would never believe you. Thankfully, he won't remember anything after 'I feel terrible'."

Touya's chair scrapped back. "You! Reverse your spell this instant!"

Clow chuckled again, "oh, don't worry, it'll wear off in about a week."

When Touya looked as if he was going to retort Clow looked at the clock, "Is that the time? Better be off, other guardians to check on, you know!"

He blinked and Fujitaka readjusted his glasses, "Finished already Touya- chan?"

"I . . ." Touya plucked up his glass, ". . . was just going to get a glass of water."



"Kids? I forgot my notes! I'm going to go get them, okay?" Fujitaka yelled into the kitchen, as his children washed the dishes, Keroberos had rushed upstairs claiming he was very ill, // Yeah, with a severe case of anti- washing-up-itus! // Sakura thought annoyed.

"Kitto!" Called Touya.

As soon as the door slammed shut, "I NEED A BATH!" yelled Yue

"BETTER DO AS HE SAYS!!" Yelled Kero, "THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME WHEN HE WENT A WHOLE TWO DAYS WITHOUT A BATH AND HE GO *SOOOO* GROUCHY-"

"I DID NOT! I JUST DISLIKE NON-CLEANLINESS!!"

Sakura and Touya looked at each other and felt a huge sweat drop gathering.

Sakura trudged up the stairs, "Yue? Which do you mean, you as in Yue in Kero's body or you as in your body?"

There was brief silence as Yue considered his options, "BOTH!"

"WHAT?!" Kero yelled in shock.

"I NEED A BATH AND SO DO YOU!"

"I DON'T NEED A BATH!" Kero protested.

"DAMN IT! YES YOU DO!!" Yue roared.



With much protest, Kero agreed to have a bath.

"What shall we do tomorrow?" He asked his brother.

"Shh!" He snapped back.

"But this is soooo boring!"

"Keroberos, I'm trying to relax."

"But we're not doing any thing! I'm bored." He slapped the water in frustration. Yue jerked awake when the water hit his face, instantly turning into his brother's large form he scooped as much water in his paws as he could.

Kero wiped his face in shocked, and made the same gesture. "Oh, so it's a water fight you want is it?!"

"As if you could take me!" Yue goaded him on.

Kero nodded, "Uh huh! It's all good!"

Twenty minutes later, Touya stepped out of his room, to hear:

"DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!!" Cried Keroberos

Splash!

"Take this you fiend!" Retorted Yue.

Splash! Sloop!

"Oh ho ho! Feel my icy wrath, Moony!"

"What did you just call me?!"

"You heard me!"

Sploush!

"Hey no fair! No fireballs!"

"Oh? It's okay you spike me with *MY* icicles but I can't use *your* fireballs?!"

"Damn right!!"

"Fine! I'll sit on you then!"

Touya ran to the bathroom door when he started to hear the sound of someone yelling underwater.

"Ergh!" He said as he trod on the soaking carpet. He slammed open the door to find Yue prancing delightedly on Kero's back.

"Boingy! Boingy! Boingy!"

"Yue!"

Yue stopped his torment and sat on his brother's back, Kero was still face down in the water.

"What?"

"Get off him!"

"Who?"

"Him!"

"Oh him." He grinned, "Don't worry he won't drown. Or at least I don't think so."

"Yue!"

"Ooh! Let's find out shall we?!"

Touya pointed out the door.

"Yue! Off!"

Yue frowned at him and jumped out of the tub, Kero sat up and sucked in a huge breathe of air. "I live!" He coughed.

Yue picked up a large towel in his mouth and sauntered out the bathroom. Dripping wet he walked into the mistress' room.

"Mistress?" He said muffled by the towel.

She opened the door and looked down at him, he dropped the mauled towel at her feet, and sat, staring at her expectantly. Sakura glanced up to see Touya guide Kero, in Yue's form, wrapped in a huge towel, into his room. A quiet shudder from Yue got her attention. She stepped aside to let him into the room; he sniffed heavily. As she bent down to pick up the towel up, Kero came running out of Touya's bedroom,

"But I want Sakura to dry me! She always dries me!"

Sakura looked up instinctively to see her Moon guardian's naked form run down the corridor.

Her mouth dropped open. "KERO!" She called, when suddenly her world went black.

Yue, as soon as he realised what was happening, bounded forward. He clamped Kero's fuzzy paws over the young girl's emerald green eyes. "Keroberos! You're naked!"

"And?" Came the naïve reply.

"In my body!" Yue reminded him.

"Oh, *oh*! Whoops!" He looked down, "Ooooh! Will ya look at that!"

"Kero! I don't want to know!" Sakura blushed hotly.

"Oh ho! Sure, I bet you don't but I'll wager your brother does!"

Sakura listened to the sound of Kero bouncing away.

"Woo-ha!! look at me! Nay-kid as the day I was created! Nekkid!"

"Keroberos! Cover up!" Yue cried from behind her, exasperation lacing with his anger.

Then there was the sound of bouncing!

"Nude! Rude and in the buff, dude! Woo-ha!"

There was a quick scuffle followed by Kero crying, "Whoa!"

Sakura blinked as Yue removed his paws.

"He's having entirely too much fun in my body." He muttered, as the soggy Sun guardian turned and retreated back to her room.

Sakura just sat there, clutching that damp towel, mouth wide open.

"Hoe?"





-----------------

And now it's time for LEAVE IT TO DOCTOR MEGALOMANIA!!

DrM: Konnichiwa!!

Syaoran: This is all very confusing! And it's making my head hurt!

DrM: Sure that isn't just the coconuts?

Syaoran: They hurt, you know!

DrM: Not as much as I will be if the lovely minna-chan don't R&R!!

Syaoran: Yeah, R&R, tell the meanie to stop dropping things on my head!!