Well, hello! And Welcome to My Little World of Weirdness!

I state for the record that, despite the fact I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the characters that will grace this story; it's all CLAMP's! Always has been, always will be!

Also I don't pretend to have any Mastery over the language of Japanese or any clue as to correct grammatical structure. I put it in and hope it gets across the point I'm trying to make!

Also, I've only ever seen the American dub, the first 3 and the 5th DVDs of the sub. Everything else about the whole Sakura-Eriol-Yue arch I've gleaned from the Internet. Sorry if they are all OOC or I slip up and start calling Syaoran, simply Li. Someone? Do tell me if I do that! And before I get any complaints, consider them all to be in their mid-teens, the time when everybody starts making dirty little jokes!!

"Speaking"

*Stress/emphasis*

//Thinking//



The Magical, Mythical, Mischievous Master Clow.

By Dr Megalomania.

For a small city called Tomoeda, of the lovely isle of Japan, the week began like any other. For four magical guardians, the week began hellishly with the activation of an ancient curse, bestowed upon them a long, long time ago . . .



Part eight: Friday - Kinyoobi

[DrM: Please don't hate me but as I said in the disclaimer I haven't seen any of the episodes with the full forms of Kero or Yue, so I'm not entirely sure how to pronounce their names, so I used the Americanised names for when they are yelling at each other [ducks for cover and cries] I'M SO SORRY!!]



"Okay, listen up everyone!"

Touya glared around the table at the four groggy guardians before him. It was seven am and he hadn't let them even so much as look at their breakfast. "I have to go to school, Sakura and that creep that you call a master will be at school, my father will not return until later tonight at the earliest. *No one* will be in this house until this evening. You," he paused to glare each guardian in the eye to make sure he had his or her attention. "Will be *alone* in this house all day. There will be no. . ." He paused again as he pulled a list from his pocket. " . . . Soap bar related incidents, particularly, of the mouth washing variety." Yue glared at Kero, he'd only just stop hiccupping and, to Kero's delight, he'd topped Kero's record. Touya continued "No sugar related attacks on Spinel's body, no enforced bathing, no hair-related assaults, no tail damage, no wing related insults, verbal or other wise," Touya looked pointedly at Spinel, "No forced 'teaching and enlightenment of the masses', no pudding consumption, no clothes related shopping trips, access is not permitted to my room, Sakura's room, my father's room, the study, the washroom, the bathroom, the attic, the basement and my room."

"You already said your room!" Yue pointed out.

"Just making sure you were paying attention," Touya said, as he discreetly made the changes to his list. "Access to the kitchen is only permitted to retrieve a small snack, and/or a drink."

Ruby pouted, as best she could with Spinel's tiny lips, "But all that leaves is watching TV in the living room!"

"And that brings me to my next point." Touya stood and strode out of the kitchen, he called behind him, "follow me!"

The first thing the guardians noticed about the sitting room was the extraordinary lengths Touya could go to if pushed.

The entire place had been covered in bubble wrap, then another layer of bubble wrap, and finally a layer of cling film.

The guardians blinked in surprise, "You got up early to do this?" Spinel asked warily.

"Where did you get all of this?" Murmured Yue incredulously.

"That's not the point; the point is under no circumstances remove the bubble wrap."

"Or what?" groused Kero.

"Or some Dreadful Evil will befall you." Touya folded his arms and glared at them utterly serious, "I'll give you a hint, the Dreadful Evil's standing with you in this room and his name begins with a 'T'"



As Touya left the house, to leave for school, he drilled the guardians.

"If the doorbell rings what do you do Kero?" He said as he shrugged on his coat.

Kero, Yue, Spinel and Ruby stood patiently nearby; "I transform into Yukito's form and answer the door."

"If they ask for my father?"

"I explain that he's away at the moment and will be back by Saturday."

"If it's for me?"

"I explain that you at school and that you will not return until later tonight."

"A delivery?"

"I accept it, signed Yukito's name, and put it in a safe place, do not touch, smell, shake, taste, or even look at it."

Touya nodded satisfied and looked at Yue. "What if Sakura returns before me?"

"Remind her that it's her turn to cook dinner and that she is in *sooooo* much trouble for leaving her poor, kind brother with her disturbingly demented guardians that she'll be doing house chores until she's sixty."

"And?"

Yue sighed heavily, "Call her a Kaijuu."

"Good. If Eriol calls at the door, Ruby?"

"Do I have too?" She whinged.

"Yes."

"Remind him he's a creep, you're going to beat the living daylights out of him, then if he's lucky you won't tie him to me and dump us in the North Pole."

"Annnnnnd?"

"Call him a creep again."

"Perfect. I'm going now. Behave!" and with that Touya slammed the door.



By methods unknown to her, Sakura had a clean uniform, as did Eriol and Syaoran.

"Hoe?" She asked Tomoyo who couldn't answer due to the brush she had clamped between her teeth.

Syaoran snorted, "Sakura, this is Daidouji Tomoyo we're talking about here." He was struggling to tie his sleeping bag up, while, next to him, Eriol tied his up with a simple wave of his hands.

"Correction," he said, "The very beautiful Daidouji Tomoyo."

Tomoyo did a little curtsy and removed the hairbrush from her mouth, "How do you think Touya-kun fared with the you know who's last night?"

"I'm sure he did well, but I'm more worried about them now."

"Why that?" Syaoran smiled in satisfaction his sleeping bag now under control.

Sakura glanced at the clock on the wall; "Onnichan should have just left for school. They're alone in the house."



Friday was one of those days. It flew by, and at the end of school, Touya and Syaoran both had their respective Football practices to go to, Sakura had her Cheerleading practice, Tomoyo had Singing practice and Eriol had 'Being Evil' practice.

"How can you practice being evil?!" Asked a dirty and not to mention sweaty Syaoran as the four trudged home together.

"Evil is an art, my cute little descendant," Remarked Eriol, "Not merely a way of life."

"By the ancestors! You're worst than Yamazaki!"

"No! It's true. You have to study its various forms and styles."

"Don't be ridiculous, you're either evil or you're not."

"And that, my cute little descendant, is why you are not. You have no concept of the subtleties of true evil-ness. For example, didn't you wonder why the ball hit you in the face more than it did any other player?"

"That was you?" Syaoran grab him by the arm.

"No, it was the wind." Eriol frowned disapprovingly.

"Oh . . ." Syaoran instantly let go.

Eriol turned and started to walk away, "But I was behind the wind!"

"Damnit!! That ball hurt, you little bastr---WHOA!!" Syaoran tripped and landed face first in the dirt.

Eriol crouched down, to addressed Syaoran. "Now see, that was another type of evil, 'premeditated accidental'. Whilst I was distracting you with talk, I allowed you laces to become undone . . . it was only a matter of time before you would fall." Syaoran propped himself up on his elbows to glare at Eriol, as Eriol continue. "And the most evil thing about 'premeditated accidental' is that the victim would usually blame it on himself or herself or his or her own stupidity."

Syaoran closed his eyes and banged his head against the sidewalk, "Urusei." He muttered.

Along the way home, Touya caught up with them. Sakura gulped loudly, but Eriol showed no signs of being intimidated by Touya's murderous glares.

By the time the group had rounded the final corner on the way to Sakura's and Touya's house, it had been decided that Eriol, Tomoyo and Syaoran would sleep over, so Sakura didn't have to handle the terrible foursome on her own.

Sakura sighed, //One more night and one more day to go and then it'll be all over// Much as she had loved the chance to play with Yue for once and not have to concede to Kero's every demand for pudding; she did miss her wizen and patient Moon guardian, and her cuddly funny Sun guardian.

Eriol was thinking a similar thing, although this had been hilarious at first, he missed his guardians. He missed Suppi and the long conversations they'd have, but he also missed Ruby's well-intentioned mistakes.

Without realising they both expelled a forborne sigh.

"YOU'RE HOOOOOMMMMMMMEEEEEE!!!" A flash of pink bowled Eriol over. He struggled briefly with it, as it tried to throttle him.

"Is he trying to kill him or just hug?" Asked Touya, as Ruby moon's form leaped over Eriol.

"Spinel!! Get off! I can't breathe!!!"

"STAY!! GO SPINEL!!!" Cried Touya and Syaoran together. "GIVE YOUR FAVOURITE MASTER A GOOD LONG HUG!!"

Unfortunately for them, Spinel listened to his master, and shakily helped him to his feet.

"Whazz the matter with my hug?" Spinel slurred, "Don't you love me?"

Eriol gagged and waved at the air between them, "Spinel Sun! what have you been drinking?!"

Spinel stared off into the air above Eriol's head as he thought. Then he smiled and chuckled. Spinels tried to press a finger against his nose, missed the first time and then succeed on the second try. He nodded then tried to press Eriol's nose. Once he had completed this bizarre motion, he answered with some great amusement. "Beer" he finally answered.

Eriol's lavender-grey eyes widened. "Beer?"

"Well, you see what happen is that---" Spinel paused for no reason, and just stared at Eriol.

"Well, what happened?"

"Hm?" Spinel blinked.

"What happened?"

Spinel smile lazily, "When?"

Eriol dropped his hands by his side in frustration.

"Why. Are. You. drunk?"

Spinel shook his head slowly, "I'm not drunk . . . although, heh, heh . . . you should see Ruby . . ." he burst into laughter and draped an arm around Eriol's shoulders, "You're a damn good master; you know that . . ."

Touya blinked once, and looked at his sister, who blinked back.

"They're drunk . . ." he said slowly.

". . .in our house," Sakura finished for him.





The living room was the first place the group ran into.

"WHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee!!" Squealed the blue blur as it zipped from wall to wall. Because Touya had covered everything with bubble wrap, Ruby evidently found that ample reason enough to dash from wall to wall and ricochet in a totally new direction.

"Hey! That looks like fun!!" Spinel pushed past a shocked Touya to join his sister. "KA-BOING!!" He squealed in utter pleasure.

"I think it may be best just to leave them until they run out of sugar." Suggested Tomoyo.

"That may take a while," commented Eriol as he looked at a dozen or so *empty* bags of sugar that lay discarded on the floor.

"Guys . . ." Syaoran walked down the corridor slowly, he and Sakura had gone to find her guardians, "if you think those two are bad, you need to go to the kitchen . . ."



"KERO-BEAR-ROSSSS!!" Yue bellowed.

"YOU-AAAY!!" Kero hollered back.

"KERO-BEAR-ROSSSS!!" laughter started to twinge the shout.

"YOU-AAAY!!" Kero laughed louder.

Yue tried to top the yell, and shouted "KERO-BEAR-ROSSSS!!"

"YOU-AAAY!!" the shouting started to get even more louder.

"KERO-BEAR-ROSSSS!!"

"YOU-AAAY!!"

Touya stood by his shocked sister and took in the site of the bellowing Guardians.

"*What* are you two doing?!" Asked Touya dumbfounded, Tomoyo poked her head through the door as well and started to film.

Yue tried to answer but dissolved into a fit of laughter, Kero on the other hand opened two more bottle of beer.

//More?// thought Touya and then looked down on the floor, Kero had gone out and bought 3 sixteen bottle crates of beer. . . two of which were already empty.

"Okay," Kero said drunkenly, "Okay, okay, you ready?"

Yue tipped his head back and opened his mouth. "Ahhhhh!"

"Okay?" Kero slurred as he coordinated the two bottles so he could pour one into his brother's mouth and the other into his own. "Okay? Okay! Here we go! Hai! HAI!"

He poured the bottles, and although some actually went down Yue's throat, most just splashed on his face. When the bottles went empty, Kero looked at Yue, and snorted, causing a large amount of beer to come out of his nose.

Kero laid a heavy hand on the top of Yue's head. "You know what?"

"What?" Yue blinked unevenly, his eyes very much out of focus.

"I weally love you" Kero sniffled.

"And you know what?" Yue placed a paw on his own body's thigh.

"What?"

"I weally-wove-you-tooooooo!" Yue wailed.

"Weally?"

"Weally!" they both burst into tears.

"Aww. I missched you, 'cause you know what? You my bwother." Kero reassured Yue.

"I missched you too Kewoberus." Yue cried as if this was some brilliant revelation.

"YOU-AYYYYY!!" Keroberos smiled manically as he started the shouting again.

"KERO-BEAR-ROSSS!!" Yue returned grinning.

"YOU-AAAY!!"

"KERO-BEAR-ROSSSS!!"

"YOU-AAAY!!!" Kero opened his arms and Yue leapt up into them and they hugged. Yue rubbed his nose against Kero's, and they laughed their heads off.

"WHOA!!!"

Then they fell off the chair, and wiggled on the floor, on their backs, still laughing.

Sakura stood with her mouth wide open. Syaoran leaned slightly towards her and murmured, "I think now would be a good time to say, 'Hoe?!'! ".

Tomoyo grinned in satisfaction and patted her video camera, she'd caught the whole thing on tape, //I think I'll call it 'kawaii drunken revelations by happy guardians'! //

Eriol shook his head, and turned to deal with his own bouncing guardians.

Touya watched the whole scene and didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Li Syaoran was thankful that he was used to staying up till the early hours of the morning. By the time he, Eriol, Tomoyo, Touya and his sweet cherry blossom had managed to calm the drunken guardians down and get them into bed, then final get ready for bed themselves, Tomoyo looked less than her cheery self, Eriol had lost his smug smile and was scowling every so often in the direction of the dozing guardians. Touya hadn't said a word since Kero had turned back into Yukito's form and thrown up all over Touya. And Sakura looked so tired she looked like she was on the verge of tears.

Once Touya had nodded his goodnight and closed the door, Sakura flung herself into Syaoran's arms and started to weep, " I can't take any more of this!!"

Syaoran was also suddenly thankful for having five sisters and Meilin, he defiantly knew how to comfort an exhausted girl. "There's only one more day to go" he murmured soothingly, "Just one more day of this craziness and then everything will go back to normal"

Tomoyo squeezed her neck, hoping to un-work the knot that had stationed itself there, "We hope" she groused. Sakura turned to her best friend fearfully, "You don't think they'll be stuck like this forever, do you?"

"Clow's spells have gone wrong before . . ." she answered and looked at Eriol.

"Oh! Come on, give my former life a break!" he squeezed his index finger against his thumb, "One miniscule error!"

"Miniscule?!" Syaoran scoffed, "Then how come you are one of the most powerful magicians in the universe and Sakura's father is not?"

"If I had the energy to, I would drop some thing a little *heavier* that a coconut on your head" Eriol threatened tiredly, "But since I don't . . ." he shrugged, and turned to Tomoyo, "Do you want me to give you a hand with your back?"

Tomoyo shuffled to grant him easier access, "I'll try anything," she sighed, "But you had better not!"

As Eriol smoothed his hands over Tomoyo's aching shoulders, Syaoran lifted Sakura's honeyed colour bangs away from her face. She was fast asleep, clutching his pyjama shirt. He smiled and dared to brush a quick kiss onto her sweet smelling hair.

A little chuckle from Eriol's direction caught his attention; Eriol lifted an eyebrow at him, and smiled tiredly. "A right pair, aren't they?" he spoke quietly so not to wake Tomoyo, she'd fallen asleep as well. Syaoran smiled back at him, "Yeah"

The two distant relatives placed each girl in her bed, brushed a silent bedtime kiss over each's warm cheek and retired to their own sleeping bag.

"No tricks, Hiirawagizawa-kun." Syaoran muttered.

"Trust me . . ." Eriol propped himself on one elbow to address Syaoran, "I'm not in the mood to exercise my right to be evil to you. Goodnight, my cute little descendant." With that, he rolled over to face Tomoyo and quickly fell asleep.

Syaoran yawned widely and turned over, he cast one last look at Sakura then fell fast asleep.





-----------------

And now it's time for LEAVE IT TO DOCTOR MEGALOMANIA!!

DrM: Konnichiwa!! JUST ONE MORE DAY!! How will the gang cope?!

Eriol: Better be one more day!

DrM: Trust me, it'll be just one more day and then just a little roundy- uppy bit

Eriol: Roundy-uppy bit? Where do you come up with these words?

DrM: [tries to pronounce Eriol's surname and fails] What kind of name is that?!

Eriol: Don't mock my name! Someone, anyone! Please tell her how to say my name! It's getting on my nerves!!

Yue: And mine!!

Kero: Yeah! Me too!!

DrM: Get back to bed; the lot of you!! Please R&R minna-chan! Thanks for you time!!

[Added note from DrM]

Also I notice that maybe it's a bit confusing, and to make it a little easier - I'm working from the point of view that Ruby is Nakura as well, and in this ficcy, her/his/it's crush on Touya isn't really that necessary to the plot. Just know that Touya finds Ruby/ Nakura really irritating, but if you insist on having Ruby and Nakura separate then Nakura is in the same place as Yuki . . . they're . . . [Makes up something] . . .playing strip poker . . . somewhere in . . . [Picks country at random] . . . Hawaii!

Eriol: [places hand over heart] And I swear to make DrM a better liar as well.