(Ok, ok, I know my first chapter really sucked. My narrator was really nervous, this being only my second Fic and all, and the story suffered a little. Ok a lot! But being the good-natured person I am...I helped the narrator get over that case of stage fright. We had a heart too heart; I gave some great advice and the narrators' just fine now.)

What the hell are you talking about? You told me that if I didn't shape up you'd rip my arm off and beat me with the bloody en...: Jes puts a hand over narrator's mouth :...mego ma mouph...

(Heh, heh, heh, ahh, such a kidder this one. But in all seriousness, we burned the midnight oil and fixed the first chapter. So enjoy "Super who? Saves the day" chapter one revised-Jes :D)

Disclaimer: I do not own the Ebola Virus...Yet. : }

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Good natured person my as... Heeey! Let's get on with the story shall we?

It was your normal, usual, day in the Mushroom Kingdom. Not one thing was out of the ordinary...

"Give us back the princess you walking luggage factory!" Mario yelled at Bowser he'd taken the princess again. (As if you hadn't already figured that out.)

Like I was saying not one thing was out of the ordinary. The Mario brothers were already in a heated battle for the safe return of the fair Princess Peach. Bowser's thrown room being the battle ground.

Bowser smacked his forehead in exasperation.

"Oh for the love of...Why do you always say that?! Do you really expect me to just say oh ok Mr. Mario and hand over the princess?!" Bowser walked right up to Mario

"Well I was kinda hoping..." Mario started sheepishly

"You were kinda hoping...ya know what Mario, you're an idiot. Why do I even bother to kidnap the princess? Why do I put up with you? Why do I have to be the only villain with a nemesis that's dumber than a sack of potatoes? Does Dr. Robotnik have to put up with such idiocy? The Joker got Batman Lex Luther got Superman and what do I get? Mario, I earned a Masters in villainy from the finest school in the Mushroom Kingdom just to be pestered by a hero whose best line is give us back the princess? Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggg!! I can't work under these conditions, I'll be in my dressing room!" Bowser stormed off ( What a Pre-Madonna. )

"But wait aren't we going fight?" Mario called after him

"Yeah, if we don't fight there won't be much of a story!" Luigi, yes he's there too, added.

Bowser stomped back over to the Mario's "I'm not fighting with you ever again!"

"Never?" Mario asked "No!" Bowser turned his back to Mario

"Not Ever?" "No, not ever!" The lizard king replied ( Disney's The Lizard King in theaters June 2002!)

"Not even a little one?" Mario asked

"Nuh uh" Bowser replied shaking his head

"But I'm the hero, you gotta fight me..."

"I wouldn't fight you, if you were the last hero in the universe!"

"The universe?" Mario questioned, obviously very hurt. "I bid you good day sir!" Bowser replied his back still to the plumber brothers.

"But, But..." Mario stammered

"I said good day sir!"

Mario's lip quivered and his eye's began to tear " :sniff, sniff: Whaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaah!" Luigi towards Mario and hugged his brother.

Bowser turned around "Is he crying? I didn't know heroes could do that" ( ya think?)

"Heroes have feelings too ya know?" Luigi shouted at Bowser

"There, there, don't cry Mario, Bowser's just a jerk!" Luigi patted Mario on the back in an effort to console his weeping brother.

" :Sniffle: So I can't come up with any good hero lines it's n-not my f-falt" The hero, and I use that word loosely, sobbed.

"Of course not...it's the writers" Luigi consoled (HEY!)

Well it is you know? ( I know but he didn't have to rub it in!)

Bowser walked up to the baling plumber "Hey come on don't cry. I didn't know this was so important to you ."

"Go away haven't you done enough?" Luigi retorted.

"I'm a p-plumber I-I don't know nothing about being a h-hero. I-I'm making i-it up as I go a-along." Luigi gave Mario his handkerchief

"Look if it means that much to you we'll fight."

Mario wiped his eyes " :Sniffle: Really?"

"Yeah."

"OK!" Mario shouted excitedly "Here... we... goooooooooooooo!" Bowser rolled his eyes

":Sigh: Give it up Mario! The princess is mine now, I kidnapped her fair and square!" Bowser said as he attempted to slash the brothers, who just barely escaped being cut to ribbons by the razor sharp claws.

"Nenner, nenner, nenner, you missed us Godzilla!" Luigi taunted, stinking his tongue out at the king of the koopas'. (How could he say that if he was sticking his tongue out?)

A well-aimed tail sent the green plumber flying into one of the many marble pillars surrounding the throne room.

"Ok... that one hit me" Luigi slurred before going down for the count.

"What have you done to my brother?!" Mario shrieked.

(Shriek isn't that the He/She from Super Smash Bros. Melee?)

No that's Peach... (Ouch!)

"Are you blind? I sent him crashing in to a marble pillar!" Bowser roared

"Oh...... Well you're goanna pay for that!" Mario yelled before charging at the Koopa

"Sorry but I don't buy washed up plumbers!" Bowser spat

"Mario!" A voice called from behind him making him spin around.

"Princess?" She'd obviously escaped from wherever it was that Bowser had been keeping her...(Obviously -_- !)

But Mario was none the less distracted and Koopa took advantage. Grabbing Mario by his neck Bowser, with a little effort, lifted the, portly, preoccupied, plumber off his feet. (There's a mouth full)

"Now Mario, get ready to meet your maker!"

"Shigeru Miyamoto?" Bowser squeezed his claw tighter around Mario's neck.

Mario vainly tried to free himself from Bowser's grip. Darkness began to overtake his vision.

~So this is how it's going to end? I always thought I would die by jumping in a bottomless pit, or by being hit by a pixilated fireball or something like that. Hmm, Live and learn~ (Hanging on the edge of tomorrow, live and learn, from the words of yesterda-ay, Live and learn if you beg or if you barrow, Live and learn, you may never find your waaaa-aaaay, yeah, yeah ,yeah yeaaaaaaaaaah!)

o_O Okay? Mario started to feel very sleepy as the oxygen stopped flowing freely to his brain.

"That's right Mario go to sleep."

~I am sorry princess~ Mario thought as he closed his eyes

"Get your slimy mitts off my brother!" Luigi shouted as he stomped the offending tail that had hurt him earlier. Adrenalin kept him from feeling the full extent of his injuries.

Bowser let out a loud roar as pain shot up his spine. He threw Mario hard across the room. Mario skidded across the floor at top speed bouncing a few times before finally stopping at the princess's feet.

"Mario give me a sign you're all right" Luigi called. Coughing and gasps for air from Mario answered him.

"Good enough!" The younger Mario brother stated, before leaving Bowser writhing in pain from a very sore tail.

Mario, who'd finally caught his breath, decided that now was a good time to beat feet, and get out of there.

"Let's get out of here while the getting's good" Mario said as he motioned towards the door. Luigi and Peach nodded in agreement and left.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, owwwwwww! I hate those stupid Mario's! I'll get them if it's the last thing I ever do. Then the princess will be mine! ......Oh, my poor tail :Sniff:"

Back at Peach's castle, Mario and Luigi have their injuries taken care of in the castle infirmary...

"Owwwwwwwww!" Luigi cried as one of the mushroom nurses wrapped his fractured ribs.

"Aw, Weege quit whining" Mario said from the table across from Luigi's

"It's not that ba-- Oww! Not so ruff huh?" Mario whined to the nurse who'd been bandaging his sprained arm.

Luigi snickered. Mario shot him a dirty look but said nothing.

"Ok all done" Said Luigi's nurse

"Hey, how'd princess escape anyway I was pretty out of it at the time." Luigi asked as he stood up from the table.

"Plot hole" Peach said as she walked into the room. ( Eh, heh, heh...^_^! )

She walked over to Mario "I am so sorry, this is all my fault."

Before Mario could reply she continued. "I've given this a lot of thought..." (Have you?)

"And I don't think it's right for you to put yourself in danger to try and rescue me."

"What are you saying princess?" Mario asked "I don't want you to rescue me any more."

"Oh, ok....What?! Are you out your cotton-picking mind? Who will save you the next time Bowser kidnaps you?" Mario shouted he wasn't trying to be rude but he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"My mushroom guards." Peach replied

"What? They couldn't catch a cold let alone Bowser." Mario retorted

"That's not true, half of my guards are out with colds now, the other half is out with Ebola** "

"WHAT?!"

"Or the flu, I don't know... The point is they can save me if Bowser kidnaps me.

"Oh Puleeze, Mario knows more about saving princesses than those guards ever will" Luigi said finally adding his two cents to the conversation. Mario got an idea

"What about Luigi can he save you?" Mario asked He didn't exactly relish the idea of the Mushroom kingdom and its princess's safety being in the hands of his little brother; but right now he was between a rock and a hard place.

(Can I get some mustered and a dog with that relish?) Will you shut up? This is not a MST! (Jerk!)

"Me? Yeah, why not me? Can I princess" Luigi piped in

"Mmm, no I don't think so, I don't want any of my friends getting hurt because of me." she said

"Oh, thank you God" Luigi muttered to himself

"B...but where will I go what will I do if you get kidnapped?"

"Frankly my dear Mario, you'll do nothing and like it!" Peach snapped

"Princess, please be reasonable..." Mario pleaded

"Mario, I just can't stand the thought of you getting hurt because of me. Please say the next time Bowser try's to kidnap me you'll let my guards handle it?"

Mario looked in to her beautiful blue eyes as they started to fill with tears. This was really important to her, and he just couldn't say no to those eyes

"Ok, ok, you win. I...I won't rescue you anymore." His words were fallowed by a heavy sigh mostly because without the reward money that he usually got for saving the princess, he'd actually have to :Ugh: work for a living.

"Thank you Mario!" She planted a small kiss on his cheek then ran off to do princessy things, which princesses often do.

Mario turned to his brother Luigi "I have a bad feeling about this."

A few weeks passed without an attack from Bowser or any of his filthy children. Mario and peach sat in the courtyard garden enjoying each other's company. Every thing was peaceful and calm...That is until Bowser decided that now was a good time to try and capture the princess :Sigh: again.

Swooping down in his clown copter he snatched up the princess.

"Let me go you foul creature!" She shouted

"Don't worry princess I'll save you?" Mario said in a heroic fashion

"Oh, no you won't...GUARDS!" Peach shouted thirty mushroom guards flooded into the courtyard all carrying some very nasty weapons. Spears, bows and arrows, even a few Bob-oms. Unfortunately their weapons were pretty much useless. They all feared hitting the princess if the y used their weapons on Bowser. What a pity.

"It's best you don't watch this" Bowser said as he laid a hand over the Princess's eyes

With one blast of his fiery hot breath he roasted the guards where they stood. They all stood looking totally confused as to what had just happened before they all fainted.

" :Sniff, sniff: Do I smell sautéed mushrooms?" Peach asked.

"Are you so afraid to fight me Mario that you're sending appitzzers to do your job now?" Bowser laughed

"Why you arrogant little..." That comment really got Mario's blood boiling.

"Princess, forget what I said before I'm saving you and that's all there is to it!"

"Don't you dare!" She shouted from over the side of the clown copter.

~ I'm saving you and there's nothing you can do about it!~ Mario thought as he got ready to put a serious beat down on Bowser.

Before Mario could do much of any thing Peach said something that made him stop in his tracks.

"Mario if you set one foot in Bowser's castle I'll...I"ll" She was having a hard time coming up with a good threat. "I'll have you beheaded!" She blurted out.

All Bowser could do was stare at her in disbelieve "I must be rubbing off on you Princess." He said with a huge grin on his face.

He continued to say "Do drop by the castle this evening Mario, I would so love to see you executed" He laughed as his clown copter zoomed out of sight.

Mario franticly tried to wake up the guards but it was no use they were out cold.

Mario was left with only one option... Panic.

"What am I goanna do, What am I goanna do, What am I goanna do?!"

Well would you look at that... I finally did something I said I was going to do and fixed the first chapter of this story. :)

** Ebola is a highly contagious disease that kills only ten day after contracting it. Scary huh? It is mostly found in monkeys in Africa. So if you live in an African jungle with monkeys, be afraid be very afraid.