A/N: I'd appolgize for the extreme delay on this chapter, but then I'd have to mean it, and I dont. I took a month off of writing while I went through tennis season and to get back into school. Now I'm back and I hope this long chapter makes up for my absence.
Chapter 18:
(Co-Written by the Greatest of All that is Evil: Cat)
Logan drummed his fingers lightly on the steering wheel in perfect rhythm with the light piano concerto that flowed subtly through the speakers of his car. Even the congested traffic of the city streets couldn't put a damper on his mood. I was perplexing, though, to think that some people actually favored the desolate city over their own small towns. Of course, he chose to live there, so he really didn't have room to talk. Still, it made the Friday evening commute slow and endless. And since Max was supposed to be coming over for dinner, it just made it that much slower.
Max was habitually late. You said seven; she interrupted that to mean seven fifteen. You'd think someone in the military from birth would be just a little more punctual. He wasn't complaining now, since he was running about twenty minutes behind himself due to a problem with their biggest advertisers that he'd spent all afternoon on the phone dealing with that mess. If he hadn't been looking forward to the evening in with Max, he probably would have taken a dive out of the window of his office around three that afternoon. Now if only he could figure out what he wanted to make for dinner, he'd be set.
While the past two months had been interesting, spending the majority of his time with the most elite group of soldiers this country had to offer, the past two weeks had far surpassed that. He'd dated plenty of women in his life, but never had he been able to sit for hours talking, and just talking non-stop with no interruptions. Never had he been beaten, repeatedly, at chess by one. Never had the priority been anything else but getting her into bed. And that was a rather new, and frankly startling, development in this already complex relationship.
He was still debating between and stir-fry as he turned into the parking garage. He was so surprised to see Max's car, he tapped his finger against the face of his watch to make sure it hadn't stopped. This couldn't be right. Max was…early. This could be a trap. Maybe he should turn and run before it was too late.
But it was already too late. Max had been sitting on the hood of her car, and soon as he pulled up next to her, she hopped off and walked in his direction. She was so easy to read; sometimes her face could be so expressive it was scary. The she didn't cover the scowl with the saccharine sweet smile quite quick enough, and even then the air vibrated with bad vibes. Lovely, Logan thought with a small sigh as he rolled down the window, absolutely lovely.
"Hey." He said brightly. "Am I late? Hope you weren't waiting long."
"Nah." Max replied, despite her smile, her eyes still shimmered with an underlying violence. "I'm early."
Logan followed impulse, grabbing Max's hand and tugging her forward till their lips met in a slow, lingering kiss. Max didn't relax, as she normally did when they kissed. Hell, it was probably the only she ever completely relaxed. That meant she was pissed at someone. It was more than likely at one of her siblings, because if he'd had done something wrong, he would have found out when it wasn't Max meeting him in the parking garage. It would have been some guy named Bubba with a hatchet and some Ziploc bags. When they broke apart, Max wasn't exactly swooning. He must be losing his touch.
"Max, darling." Logan said with a small frown, brushing the back of his fingers across her cheek. "What's the matter?"
Max simply glared. "Nothing." She spit. Logan merely raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Nothing is wrong." She said, forcing calm into her voice.
Logan nodded, not wanting to push her. She'd sulk around until she was ready to talk about it. "Healthy or not."
"Huh?" Max asked, confused.
"Still debating what to cook, just trying to find out what your interested in tonight."
Max shrugged. "I'm indifferent." She stepped back as Logan opened the car door and finally stepped out.
"You're helpful." He muttered as he reached into the backseat and snagged the bag of groceries he had the foresight to stop and buy.
Max smiled innocently. "You could always make both." It might have been a joke if he hadn't already been aware of her eating habits. Logan tossed Max his car keys. "Go on up, I'll grab this stuff and be up in a minute."
Max caught the keys one handed, barely having moved a muscle. She sneered at the car for good measure, wondering why she was getting involved with someone who had terrible taste in vehicles. Her shoulders tensed as the earlier words of Jhondie popping into her head for no apparent reason.
I see the way he looks at you when you're not looking.
She wasn't about to deny that there was a mutual attraction between them. It had been instantaneous, almost frighteningly so, on that long ago night at Phillip Costello's birthday party. She might have been there as Veronica Sprouse, and she might have thought of him as the poster child for bored rich white kids everywhere, but the spark had still been there. When her true identity had been revealed, and his true mission, she'd lashed out quickly and violently, this time the spark of attraction fueling her vicious temper.
Why are you afraid to act on that attraction?
It was a question she asked herself over and over again. She never asked to want him; she never wanted to be drawn to him. But she was. Phony sentimentality. It would get them killed, Lydecker had told them when they were children. Love was just an illusion people over-exaggerated to make themselves feel unjustly safe. She never thought of any of those childhood 'lessons' when he did something thoughtlessly romantic. Like the single red rose he'd had delivered to the house, an apology for canceling on dinner. Or it could be something as simple and absentminded as the brush of fingers across her arm in the middle of a conversation. It was those little details that made everything so complicated.
Coming from the queen of one-night stands.
Those three times during the year where she had no control over her actions were the worst times in her life. She could brush off the intense medical testing, she handled the training drills, she took on tasks so awful, so disgusting, that even the most well trained norms would shiver. But those two days, those days that were hazy with untamable lust, those were the times she cursed what she was made to be. If one of her siblings didn't catch the signs in time, she was bound to wake up in some random guy's bed, some guy whose name she probably didn't know. She wouldn't remember sleeping with him. She would feel so violated by what her hormones made her do; it was almost like being raped. But then she couldn't blame someone for doing it to her; she could only blame herself for giving in. As if she had a choice. Even then, it was better than what the doctors at Manticore might do. Giving in three times a year was far better than being made the carrier for the next breed of super soldiers.
It was different now. Logan was the first man she'd ever cared about enough to want to take it slow. It wasn't about sweaty gropes in some dark room with a faceless guy she'd never see again. This wasn't some whacked out escapade she had no choice in. She wanted him, plain and simple. She was far from a virgin, physically, but she might as well be emotionally.
You're scared because you wont be able to just walk away.
Syl had been absolutely right. She wasn't going to be walking away from this the same as when it started. Was it worth the risk? Taking that last step onto uncertain territory? Putting her feelings completely in the hands of another person.
That's when it hit Max. Hadn't she done that already?
"Max?" Logan asked, concerned, waving a hand in front of her face. "You okay?" She realized that she'd been standing in the same spot, staring blankly into space, Logan's keys pressing painfully in the palm of her hand.
"Sorry," She muttered, forcing her fingers to relax.
"You were in another world completely." Logan commented. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
"Sorry." She repeated. She quickly grabbed a bag of groceries out of his arm. "Just distracted. Let me help you with those." She said quickly. She hurried across the garage, sliding Logan's ID card through the security panel, then waiting for the elevator to reach the ground floor. She would wonder for weeks to come what could have possibly possessed her to say what she said next.
"Logan." She turned around to see him shutting the driver's side door. "Do you want to have sex with me?"
Chapter Eighteen: Part Two
Logan had never been easily shocked. But her simple question knocked him back as effectively as a fist to the stomach. He glanced down confused when he felt something cold and wet soaking through his shoe. Somewhere along the way, the bag of groceries had slipped out of his hands. Currently, a half-gallon of milk was gushing out over a shoe that probably cost more than some families made in a year. His mouth moved for a moment before words actually came out. "Excuse me?" He choked.
Max's tense shoulders only became tenser at his blank shock. "You heard me. Do you or do you not want to sleep with me."
Logan shook his head slightly. He must be hearing things. Normal people didn't just blurt stuff like that out in the middle of a parking garage. Hell, when was Max normal? It had to be a trap. "What kind of question is that?" He asked carefully. Until he knew exactly what was going on, he wasn't about to incriminate himself.
Max made a sound low in her throat. As if on cue, the elevator door slid open with a light ding. Max stomped inside. Logan glanced down at the unsalvageable bag lying wet on the ground before racing over to catch the door before it shut. Max was off on one of her tangents, and he wasn't about to incriminate himself until he knew exactly what was going on. "What kind of question is that?" He asked quickly, putting one hand on either side of the elevator door. While it effectively held the doors opened, it made Max feel even more caged in then she already was.
"Stop avoiding the question!" Max growled. "I simply want to know where this is going." Logan almost laughed at that. Simply. Right.
"Do you want it too?" He asked carefully. Max narrowed her eyes. That condescending tone of his could only mean one thing. He didn't feel that way about her.
"Do you think I would even bring up the subject if I didn't?" She said coldly. She mentally raved and ranted about how stupid she was to think that, then changed her train of thought. She was going to go home, extract Jhondie's eyes with a spoon, the curl up into a ball and cry her eyes out. Rejection burned in the pit of her stomach.
Logan suddenly wanted to smile. Though, a smile might get his legs broken, the humor of the situation just struck him all at once. Max seethed when he had the nerve to grin. He was laughing at her. Laughing. At. Her. "I'm leaving." Max took a step forward, annoyed when Logan didn't retreat from holding the elevator doors open.
"Where are you going?" Logan asked, still grinning, blocking Max's path. If she really wanted to leave, he'd be in several unidentifiable pieces right now. But she was still standing there, albeit glaring menacingly.
"Its obvious that I was mistaken on where this was going, so I think its best that I leave." She said after a long moment of silence.
Logan became serious again. "Max." He said after a sigh. "Look at me."
She did the mature thing and looked in the other direction. "No." She muttered.
"Ok, then, we'll talk this out this way."
"What's there to talk out? You don't want me, so I'm out of here. I think I've embarrassed myself enough for one night."
Logan was really trying not to laugh. He was failing miserably, but he was still trying. This was completely ridiculous. The two of them were utterly hopeless. "Max, would you please look at me?" He repeated.
"No." She whined like a petulant three-year old who hadn't had their nap. Logan did the simple thing and let go of the door and reached around Max's face to grasp her chin lightly with his fingers. He took a small step forward as the doors closed behind him. Max's instinctive step back was almost an insult. He turned her face slowly, moving forward to stand close to her. Looking down into her eyes, he smiled softly. "You caught me off guard back there."
Max gritted her teeth when he turned momentarily to slide his ID card through the second security system and pressed the penthouse button. How was she supposed to make her quick escape when he was dragging upstairs. "I think you got your point across just fine, Logan." Max said. She was even more mortified when she heard the waver in her voice.
"You startled me. You show up an hour early, I barely walked in the door myself, and the first thing you say is, basically, 'Do you want to have sex?' Excuse me if I was slightly thrown off."
Max didn't speak, she couldn't. She was afraid to get her hopes up, and yet as much as she wanted to get the hell out of there, she couldn't move as much as she couldn't tear her eyes from Logan's.
"So why don't we try this again." Logan said softly. "Ask me again."
Max felt like she was drowning, and she had no idea why. Her breath caught in her throat as she spoke. "Where is this going? Where are *we* going." She whispered, her voice full of unspoken emotion.
Logan could think of no words that would work, nothing that fully expressed what he wanted to say. So he did the simplest thing possible and slowly lowered his mouth down to her, his lips brushing across hers feather lightly.
It wasn't as if they hadn't kissed before, because of course they had. But now, for whatever reason, it was different. It was as if when Max turned and reached up to wrap her hands around the back of Logan's neck, pulling his face down to deepen the kiss, every touch was the first, but wouldn't be the last. Not if either of them had anything to say about it.
Logan's hand moved from Max's chin, the back of his fingers moving to run down the side of Max's neck. He wasn't sure, but she may have shivered. Max shivering was just odd, so he did it again. Sure enough, she trembled as his fingertips slid over the smooth column of skin. There was some sick pleasure in knowing that you could make someone who could laugh in the face of danger, quite literally, tremble.
"Max." Logan whispered breathlessly as he pulled back an inch, breaking there contact for a moment.
"What?" Max asked, still wary. Was he about to tell her this was all a mistake? This was just to good to be true.
Logan smiled, still seeing the nerves shimmering under her eyes. He dropped his forehead against hers. "Some of us can't hold our breaths indefinitely."
Max laughed softly, the tension and nerves finally dissipating. "Sorry, I forgot." She smiled for the first time in hours, running her fingers through is hair.
"Am I allowed to ask what brought about this sudden change?" He asked, his hands wandering down to massage her spine softly.
"Let's just say, the two of us aren't in Jondie's highest of graces right now."
"Well then," Logan said considering. "She gets pissed at us, I assume you two, uh, exchanged words, since all of you do three times daily, and you end up here." Logan moved his arms to tighten around her waist. "Why can't you have these fights with your sister more often?"
Max smiled distractedly as her eyes focused in on the top button of Logan's dark blue dress shirt. Not that she was complaining, because he filled out a suit quite nicely, she thought fleetingly as her eyes roamed down and back up again. But the buttons were really the most fascinating. The shirt was conservative, tailor cut, and expensive most definitely. The question was, what exactly was underneath?
Before Max could stop her self, she reached up and had the top button opened in a millisecond with the flick of one finger. Logan sucked in an uneasy breath as Max undid the next. "Uh, Max..." He managed. "What...are you doing?"
"I think you should be tested for a learning disability, because you are really slow." Max said as she pressed an open mouthed kiss to the hollow of Logan's throat. "I'm undressing you."
"So I've gathered." Logan muttered. "Max, we're in an elevator." He said pushing her busy hands away. He thought it was best that he take one big step back, at least until they were in he safety (not to mention privacy) of his home. The way Max was looking at him, he took an additional step back just to be safe. "I'm not about to--"
In that millisecond his eyes left Max's face to check what floor they were on, Max pounced. She plowed into him, crushing his mouth against his. Before he could catch his balance, she'd wrapped her legs around his waist, and he stumbled back. They might have fallen if his back hadn't hit the door behind them. His head spun as the blood drained right out of it.
While one hand gripped his shoulder for balance, the other hand was fisted in his hair as she brutally assaulted his mouth with her own. His hands, acting on a mind of their own, molded to that lovely bottom of hers. His blood was screaming for her, that little beam of sanity was quickly dimming. "Max, were in an elevator." He managed when her mouth streaked across his face.
"So what?" Max asked with a laugh, her hands tugging his shirt free off this pants. She made quick work of the buttons and was pulling it off his shoulders when their eyes locked. Their lips met in a kiss that was near violent with greed. Tongues tangled, teeth nipped. Max let out a small moan against his mouth as his hands streaked under her shirt. Max was tempted just to rip the shirt off him, but was still rational enough to realize that she rather liked it, so she managed to keep it in one piece as she yanked it off his arms.
"Max, wait." Logan tried to pry her off him, but she was wrapped around him with a death grip, and quite obviously wasn't going anywhere. As soon as he managed to tear his lips away from hers, without a second of hesitation, she was nipping her way down his throat. "Max, hold on a second. We're in an elevator." He repeated.
Just then, a muted bell rang and the elevator door slid open with a stealthy silence.
Max slid down, landing on her feet just as silently and straightening her shirt, as if jumping someone in an elevator was natural. She stood shoulder to shoulder with Logan, staring blankly out to the hallway that led to Logan's front door. "Logan, I don't want you to regret this." She said after a long moment. "If you are at all not sure about this…" She trailed off, unsure herself.
With only a moment hesitation, Logan reached down, laced his fingers with Max's, and led her by the hand out of the elevator car.
When the doors shut behind them with a quiet swoosh, no words could be spoke, no words could be said. There was no turning back, and it didn't scare either of them, as much it probably should have.
Max lay in the night sky, her eyes dark and unfocused, the skyline of Seattle twinkling distantly beyond the picture window. 'Forgot to close the blinds' Max thought unconcerned, though maybe she should have been considering what could have been seen by anyone across the street with a pair of binoculars. Or if any of her family decided to wander by. She wouldn't put it past some of them and wondered if they knew where he lived. She hoped not.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. Even as the thought popped into her head for the umpteenth time, Logan's arms tightened around her in his sleep. It had never been that heartbreakingly slow and sweet that Max wanted to weep out of the sheer emotion of it. And she'd never wanted to stay afterwards, like she was now, her head tucked under Logan's chin, her hand laced with his on top of her stomach. Sex had just been part of the routine, a basic impulse with the added benefit of temporary pleasure. This...this was different in every way imaginable. It was probably the most insane thing she had ever done, letting herself become involved with him. She never knew when she'd be sent of to Tunisia to help rebel's in their civil war. She never knew when Manticore technology would rear its ugly head and make her flip out, like Ben had when he'd been faced with a relationship. Emotion was a weakness, hadn't Lydecker taught them that all of there lives? Love was the first thing that would be used against you, so it was as simple as she could never fall in love. So, now what was she supposed to do?
She rolled out of bed slowly, careful not to wake Logan. No matter what was wrong with anyone's life, a shower never hurt. So she was going to take her own advice, gathering her clothes in one arm, stalking naked to the bathroom to try and sort out the mysteries of her life under a stream of scalding hot water.
"Logan." He heard the voice distantly, but in the hazy confines of sleep prevented him from recognizing his own name. Max smiled to herself, wondering where that sudden well of tenderness came from, the one that had her fingers playing over his forehead and through his hair as she tried to rouse him momentarily from his slumber. She didn't want to just leave, but the sun was starting to rise, and she really needed to get home. She had to say goodbye, just so it didn't seem like a cheap one-night-stand. She was pretty sure Logan would be insulted by the comparison. "Logan, I have to go." Max whispered in his ear. Her smile dimmed when he muttered a goodbye under his breath. She wanted nothing more to lay there in bed with him and watch him wake up, then say goodbye properly. It was hell knowing she'd miss that. She brushed a kiss along his brow, the only goodbye she was going to get.
She didn't even have time to yelp when the hand back yanked her off her feet and into Logan's arms. His lips were warm, Max melted against him without a protest.
She smelled like soap. His soap. And Logan had no idea how erotic that simple fact could be. When she leaned back, her eyes shone brightly in the dim light. "I've got to go." She repeated softly, eyes still locked with his.
"Okay." He said, fingers still buried in her damp hair. "I'll see you…" He trailed off as he glanced at the illuminated numbers of the bedside alarm clock. "…In a few hours." He finished.
He looked thoroughly rumpled, his hair sticking up in messy spikes. And it was going to take every ounce of willpower to walk out of that door. She nodded, rising slowly and unsteadily. "Bye," She whispered.
By the time she was in the elevator, Logan was already back asleep.
She'd left the top down on her car, so by the time she got home her hair was dry and falling in waves around her face. Those waves were doing nothing but driving her insane as she carefully climbed up the side of the house. The light was bright, bouncing off the water, but she still had a chance of sneaking in without anyone noticing. Zack, Syl, and Krit were undoubtedly still asleep, so Jhondie and Zane were her only two worries. She was less than two steps from her bedroom window when she heard the voice behind her.
"How nice of you to come home, Maxie." Syl was delighted to see Max's shoulder's hunch forward defensively. She'd stayed up all night to seek her revenge and it looked like it was about to pay off.
Max turned to see Syl leaning out Zane's window, arms crossed on the windowsill, smiling idly. "How was your night, sister dear? Must have been action packed for you to have been out all night." Syl asked. Her whole plan to embarrass the hell out of Max and then lock her out of the house flew out the window when Max's eyes tear-ed up. "What? What's the matter?" She asked quickly.
"He…I…nothing." Max cut her self off, brushing a finger under an eye to bat away a stray tear.
Syl's thoughts were of death and destruction when as she quickly climbed out the window. "What'd he do to you, baby sister?" She was going to castrate Logan Cale if he made Max cry. She was going to castrate him, then tell Zane what happened, and let Zane beat the hell out of him, then have Lydecker ruin his life. Then she was going to blow up his car.
"No, he didn't do anything." Max said, voice shaking. "He just didn't feel the same way about me that I did about him…it's not his fault." Max ran a hand through her hair. "I just drove around for a while…I had to clear my head."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Maxie." Syl comforted, giving Max a hug.
"Is it okay if we just not talk about this now? I just want to go get a few minutes sleep before we have to go down to San Francisco." Max asked, sniffling one final time.
"Oh, that's fine, go get some sleep." Sly comforted. "ZANE!" She shouted. "Go unlock Max's window!" They heard some muttering from his room, but finally, the window opened. Zane scowled at them both, and was about to join in on the harassing of Max, but the look on his sister and Syl's face stopped him. He silently helped Max in the window and let her climb into bed without a word.
When Zane shut her door behind him, Max grinned, then buried her face in her pillow and giggled helplessly. She was good. She was freakin' good.
Zane found Syl sitting on the corner of his bed when he re-entered his room. "What was up with that?" He asked quietly.
"Cale is a dick and I would hire hit men to go after him. But this is why we put up with Krit. He's not going to be able to walk when we're done." She'd started to pace midway through her rant. "And you are going to help. I've got to get into his car for like fifteen minutes…" She trailed off, still pacing, but her plotting became mental.
Zane smiled, but his eyes were still ice cold. If Cale hurt Max, then they'd take care of it. Syl would see to it.
But little did they know that Max was still laying in her bed, laughing hysterically, knowing exactly how good of and actress she was.
Chapter 18:
(Co-Written by the Greatest of All that is Evil: Cat)
Logan drummed his fingers lightly on the steering wheel in perfect rhythm with the light piano concerto that flowed subtly through the speakers of his car. Even the congested traffic of the city streets couldn't put a damper on his mood. I was perplexing, though, to think that some people actually favored the desolate city over their own small towns. Of course, he chose to live there, so he really didn't have room to talk. Still, it made the Friday evening commute slow and endless. And since Max was supposed to be coming over for dinner, it just made it that much slower.
Max was habitually late. You said seven; she interrupted that to mean seven fifteen. You'd think someone in the military from birth would be just a little more punctual. He wasn't complaining now, since he was running about twenty minutes behind himself due to a problem with their biggest advertisers that he'd spent all afternoon on the phone dealing with that mess. If he hadn't been looking forward to the evening in with Max, he probably would have taken a dive out of the window of his office around three that afternoon. Now if only he could figure out what he wanted to make for dinner, he'd be set.
While the past two months had been interesting, spending the majority of his time with the most elite group of soldiers this country had to offer, the past two weeks had far surpassed that. He'd dated plenty of women in his life, but never had he been able to sit for hours talking, and just talking non-stop with no interruptions. Never had he been beaten, repeatedly, at chess by one. Never had the priority been anything else but getting her into bed. And that was a rather new, and frankly startling, development in this already complex relationship.
He was still debating between and stir-fry as he turned into the parking garage. He was so surprised to see Max's car, he tapped his finger against the face of his watch to make sure it hadn't stopped. This couldn't be right. Max was…early. This could be a trap. Maybe he should turn and run before it was too late.
But it was already too late. Max had been sitting on the hood of her car, and soon as he pulled up next to her, she hopped off and walked in his direction. She was so easy to read; sometimes her face could be so expressive it was scary. The she didn't cover the scowl with the saccharine sweet smile quite quick enough, and even then the air vibrated with bad vibes. Lovely, Logan thought with a small sigh as he rolled down the window, absolutely lovely.
"Hey." He said brightly. "Am I late? Hope you weren't waiting long."
"Nah." Max replied, despite her smile, her eyes still shimmered with an underlying violence. "I'm early."
Logan followed impulse, grabbing Max's hand and tugging her forward till their lips met in a slow, lingering kiss. Max didn't relax, as she normally did when they kissed. Hell, it was probably the only she ever completely relaxed. That meant she was pissed at someone. It was more than likely at one of her siblings, because if he'd had done something wrong, he would have found out when it wasn't Max meeting him in the parking garage. It would have been some guy named Bubba with a hatchet and some Ziploc bags. When they broke apart, Max wasn't exactly swooning. He must be losing his touch.
"Max, darling." Logan said with a small frown, brushing the back of his fingers across her cheek. "What's the matter?"
Max simply glared. "Nothing." She spit. Logan merely raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Nothing is wrong." She said, forcing calm into her voice.
Logan nodded, not wanting to push her. She'd sulk around until she was ready to talk about it. "Healthy or not."
"Huh?" Max asked, confused.
"Still debating what to cook, just trying to find out what your interested in tonight."
Max shrugged. "I'm indifferent." She stepped back as Logan opened the car door and finally stepped out.
"You're helpful." He muttered as he reached into the backseat and snagged the bag of groceries he had the foresight to stop and buy.
Max smiled innocently. "You could always make both." It might have been a joke if he hadn't already been aware of her eating habits. Logan tossed Max his car keys. "Go on up, I'll grab this stuff and be up in a minute."
Max caught the keys one handed, barely having moved a muscle. She sneered at the car for good measure, wondering why she was getting involved with someone who had terrible taste in vehicles. Her shoulders tensed as the earlier words of Jhondie popping into her head for no apparent reason.
I see the way he looks at you when you're not looking.
She wasn't about to deny that there was a mutual attraction between them. It had been instantaneous, almost frighteningly so, on that long ago night at Phillip Costello's birthday party. She might have been there as Veronica Sprouse, and she might have thought of him as the poster child for bored rich white kids everywhere, but the spark had still been there. When her true identity had been revealed, and his true mission, she'd lashed out quickly and violently, this time the spark of attraction fueling her vicious temper.
Why are you afraid to act on that attraction?
It was a question she asked herself over and over again. She never asked to want him; she never wanted to be drawn to him. But she was. Phony sentimentality. It would get them killed, Lydecker had told them when they were children. Love was just an illusion people over-exaggerated to make themselves feel unjustly safe. She never thought of any of those childhood 'lessons' when he did something thoughtlessly romantic. Like the single red rose he'd had delivered to the house, an apology for canceling on dinner. Or it could be something as simple and absentminded as the brush of fingers across her arm in the middle of a conversation. It was those little details that made everything so complicated.
Coming from the queen of one-night stands.
Those three times during the year where she had no control over her actions were the worst times in her life. She could brush off the intense medical testing, she handled the training drills, she took on tasks so awful, so disgusting, that even the most well trained norms would shiver. But those two days, those days that were hazy with untamable lust, those were the times she cursed what she was made to be. If one of her siblings didn't catch the signs in time, she was bound to wake up in some random guy's bed, some guy whose name she probably didn't know. She wouldn't remember sleeping with him. She would feel so violated by what her hormones made her do; it was almost like being raped. But then she couldn't blame someone for doing it to her; she could only blame herself for giving in. As if she had a choice. Even then, it was better than what the doctors at Manticore might do. Giving in three times a year was far better than being made the carrier for the next breed of super soldiers.
It was different now. Logan was the first man she'd ever cared about enough to want to take it slow. It wasn't about sweaty gropes in some dark room with a faceless guy she'd never see again. This wasn't some whacked out escapade she had no choice in. She wanted him, plain and simple. She was far from a virgin, physically, but she might as well be emotionally.
You're scared because you wont be able to just walk away.
Syl had been absolutely right. She wasn't going to be walking away from this the same as when it started. Was it worth the risk? Taking that last step onto uncertain territory? Putting her feelings completely in the hands of another person.
That's when it hit Max. Hadn't she done that already?
"Max?" Logan asked, concerned, waving a hand in front of her face. "You okay?" She realized that she'd been standing in the same spot, staring blankly into space, Logan's keys pressing painfully in the palm of her hand.
"Sorry," She muttered, forcing her fingers to relax.
"You were in another world completely." Logan commented. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
"Sorry." She repeated. She quickly grabbed a bag of groceries out of his arm. "Just distracted. Let me help you with those." She said quickly. She hurried across the garage, sliding Logan's ID card through the security panel, then waiting for the elevator to reach the ground floor. She would wonder for weeks to come what could have possibly possessed her to say what she said next.
"Logan." She turned around to see him shutting the driver's side door. "Do you want to have sex with me?"
Chapter Eighteen: Part Two
Logan had never been easily shocked. But her simple question knocked him back as effectively as a fist to the stomach. He glanced down confused when he felt something cold and wet soaking through his shoe. Somewhere along the way, the bag of groceries had slipped out of his hands. Currently, a half-gallon of milk was gushing out over a shoe that probably cost more than some families made in a year. His mouth moved for a moment before words actually came out. "Excuse me?" He choked.
Max's tense shoulders only became tenser at his blank shock. "You heard me. Do you or do you not want to sleep with me."
Logan shook his head slightly. He must be hearing things. Normal people didn't just blurt stuff like that out in the middle of a parking garage. Hell, when was Max normal? It had to be a trap. "What kind of question is that?" He asked carefully. Until he knew exactly what was going on, he wasn't about to incriminate himself.
Max made a sound low in her throat. As if on cue, the elevator door slid open with a light ding. Max stomped inside. Logan glanced down at the unsalvageable bag lying wet on the ground before racing over to catch the door before it shut. Max was off on one of her tangents, and he wasn't about to incriminate himself until he knew exactly what was going on. "What kind of question is that?" He asked quickly, putting one hand on either side of the elevator door. While it effectively held the doors opened, it made Max feel even more caged in then she already was.
"Stop avoiding the question!" Max growled. "I simply want to know where this is going." Logan almost laughed at that. Simply. Right.
"Do you want it too?" He asked carefully. Max narrowed her eyes. That condescending tone of his could only mean one thing. He didn't feel that way about her.
"Do you think I would even bring up the subject if I didn't?" She said coldly. She mentally raved and ranted about how stupid she was to think that, then changed her train of thought. She was going to go home, extract Jhondie's eyes with a spoon, the curl up into a ball and cry her eyes out. Rejection burned in the pit of her stomach.
Logan suddenly wanted to smile. Though, a smile might get his legs broken, the humor of the situation just struck him all at once. Max seethed when he had the nerve to grin. He was laughing at her. Laughing. At. Her. "I'm leaving." Max took a step forward, annoyed when Logan didn't retreat from holding the elevator doors open.
"Where are you going?" Logan asked, still grinning, blocking Max's path. If she really wanted to leave, he'd be in several unidentifiable pieces right now. But she was still standing there, albeit glaring menacingly.
"Its obvious that I was mistaken on where this was going, so I think its best that I leave." She said after a long moment of silence.
Logan became serious again. "Max." He said after a sigh. "Look at me."
She did the mature thing and looked in the other direction. "No." She muttered.
"Ok, then, we'll talk this out this way."
"What's there to talk out? You don't want me, so I'm out of here. I think I've embarrassed myself enough for one night."
Logan was really trying not to laugh. He was failing miserably, but he was still trying. This was completely ridiculous. The two of them were utterly hopeless. "Max, would you please look at me?" He repeated.
"No." She whined like a petulant three-year old who hadn't had their nap. Logan did the simple thing and let go of the door and reached around Max's face to grasp her chin lightly with his fingers. He took a small step forward as the doors closed behind him. Max's instinctive step back was almost an insult. He turned her face slowly, moving forward to stand close to her. Looking down into her eyes, he smiled softly. "You caught me off guard back there."
Max gritted her teeth when he turned momentarily to slide his ID card through the second security system and pressed the penthouse button. How was she supposed to make her quick escape when he was dragging upstairs. "I think you got your point across just fine, Logan." Max said. She was even more mortified when she heard the waver in her voice.
"You startled me. You show up an hour early, I barely walked in the door myself, and the first thing you say is, basically, 'Do you want to have sex?' Excuse me if I was slightly thrown off."
Max didn't speak, she couldn't. She was afraid to get her hopes up, and yet as much as she wanted to get the hell out of there, she couldn't move as much as she couldn't tear her eyes from Logan's.
"So why don't we try this again." Logan said softly. "Ask me again."
Max felt like she was drowning, and she had no idea why. Her breath caught in her throat as she spoke. "Where is this going? Where are *we* going." She whispered, her voice full of unspoken emotion.
Logan could think of no words that would work, nothing that fully expressed what he wanted to say. So he did the simplest thing possible and slowly lowered his mouth down to her, his lips brushing across hers feather lightly.
It wasn't as if they hadn't kissed before, because of course they had. But now, for whatever reason, it was different. It was as if when Max turned and reached up to wrap her hands around the back of Logan's neck, pulling his face down to deepen the kiss, every touch was the first, but wouldn't be the last. Not if either of them had anything to say about it.
Logan's hand moved from Max's chin, the back of his fingers moving to run down the side of Max's neck. He wasn't sure, but she may have shivered. Max shivering was just odd, so he did it again. Sure enough, she trembled as his fingertips slid over the smooth column of skin. There was some sick pleasure in knowing that you could make someone who could laugh in the face of danger, quite literally, tremble.
"Max." Logan whispered breathlessly as he pulled back an inch, breaking there contact for a moment.
"What?" Max asked, still wary. Was he about to tell her this was all a mistake? This was just to good to be true.
Logan smiled, still seeing the nerves shimmering under her eyes. He dropped his forehead against hers. "Some of us can't hold our breaths indefinitely."
Max laughed softly, the tension and nerves finally dissipating. "Sorry, I forgot." She smiled for the first time in hours, running her fingers through is hair.
"Am I allowed to ask what brought about this sudden change?" He asked, his hands wandering down to massage her spine softly.
"Let's just say, the two of us aren't in Jondie's highest of graces right now."
"Well then," Logan said considering. "She gets pissed at us, I assume you two, uh, exchanged words, since all of you do three times daily, and you end up here." Logan moved his arms to tighten around her waist. "Why can't you have these fights with your sister more often?"
Max smiled distractedly as her eyes focused in on the top button of Logan's dark blue dress shirt. Not that she was complaining, because he filled out a suit quite nicely, she thought fleetingly as her eyes roamed down and back up again. But the buttons were really the most fascinating. The shirt was conservative, tailor cut, and expensive most definitely. The question was, what exactly was underneath?
Before Max could stop her self, she reached up and had the top button opened in a millisecond with the flick of one finger. Logan sucked in an uneasy breath as Max undid the next. "Uh, Max..." He managed. "What...are you doing?"
"I think you should be tested for a learning disability, because you are really slow." Max said as she pressed an open mouthed kiss to the hollow of Logan's throat. "I'm undressing you."
"So I've gathered." Logan muttered. "Max, we're in an elevator." He said pushing her busy hands away. He thought it was best that he take one big step back, at least until they were in he safety (not to mention privacy) of his home. The way Max was looking at him, he took an additional step back just to be safe. "I'm not about to--"
In that millisecond his eyes left Max's face to check what floor they were on, Max pounced. She plowed into him, crushing his mouth against his. Before he could catch his balance, she'd wrapped her legs around his waist, and he stumbled back. They might have fallen if his back hadn't hit the door behind them. His head spun as the blood drained right out of it.
While one hand gripped his shoulder for balance, the other hand was fisted in his hair as she brutally assaulted his mouth with her own. His hands, acting on a mind of their own, molded to that lovely bottom of hers. His blood was screaming for her, that little beam of sanity was quickly dimming. "Max, were in an elevator." He managed when her mouth streaked across his face.
"So what?" Max asked with a laugh, her hands tugging his shirt free off this pants. She made quick work of the buttons and was pulling it off his shoulders when their eyes locked. Their lips met in a kiss that was near violent with greed. Tongues tangled, teeth nipped. Max let out a small moan against his mouth as his hands streaked under her shirt. Max was tempted just to rip the shirt off him, but was still rational enough to realize that she rather liked it, so she managed to keep it in one piece as she yanked it off his arms.
"Max, wait." Logan tried to pry her off him, but she was wrapped around him with a death grip, and quite obviously wasn't going anywhere. As soon as he managed to tear his lips away from hers, without a second of hesitation, she was nipping her way down his throat. "Max, hold on a second. We're in an elevator." He repeated.
Just then, a muted bell rang and the elevator door slid open with a stealthy silence.
Max slid down, landing on her feet just as silently and straightening her shirt, as if jumping someone in an elevator was natural. She stood shoulder to shoulder with Logan, staring blankly out to the hallway that led to Logan's front door. "Logan, I don't want you to regret this." She said after a long moment. "If you are at all not sure about this…" She trailed off, unsure herself.
With only a moment hesitation, Logan reached down, laced his fingers with Max's, and led her by the hand out of the elevator car.
When the doors shut behind them with a quiet swoosh, no words could be spoke, no words could be said. There was no turning back, and it didn't scare either of them, as much it probably should have.
Max lay in the night sky, her eyes dark and unfocused, the skyline of Seattle twinkling distantly beyond the picture window. 'Forgot to close the blinds' Max thought unconcerned, though maybe she should have been considering what could have been seen by anyone across the street with a pair of binoculars. Or if any of her family decided to wander by. She wouldn't put it past some of them and wondered if they knew where he lived. She hoped not.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. Even as the thought popped into her head for the umpteenth time, Logan's arms tightened around her in his sleep. It had never been that heartbreakingly slow and sweet that Max wanted to weep out of the sheer emotion of it. And she'd never wanted to stay afterwards, like she was now, her head tucked under Logan's chin, her hand laced with his on top of her stomach. Sex had just been part of the routine, a basic impulse with the added benefit of temporary pleasure. This...this was different in every way imaginable. It was probably the most insane thing she had ever done, letting herself become involved with him. She never knew when she'd be sent of to Tunisia to help rebel's in their civil war. She never knew when Manticore technology would rear its ugly head and make her flip out, like Ben had when he'd been faced with a relationship. Emotion was a weakness, hadn't Lydecker taught them that all of there lives? Love was the first thing that would be used against you, so it was as simple as she could never fall in love. So, now what was she supposed to do?
She rolled out of bed slowly, careful not to wake Logan. No matter what was wrong with anyone's life, a shower never hurt. So she was going to take her own advice, gathering her clothes in one arm, stalking naked to the bathroom to try and sort out the mysteries of her life under a stream of scalding hot water.
"Logan." He heard the voice distantly, but in the hazy confines of sleep prevented him from recognizing his own name. Max smiled to herself, wondering where that sudden well of tenderness came from, the one that had her fingers playing over his forehead and through his hair as she tried to rouse him momentarily from his slumber. She didn't want to just leave, but the sun was starting to rise, and she really needed to get home. She had to say goodbye, just so it didn't seem like a cheap one-night-stand. She was pretty sure Logan would be insulted by the comparison. "Logan, I have to go." Max whispered in his ear. Her smile dimmed when he muttered a goodbye under his breath. She wanted nothing more to lay there in bed with him and watch him wake up, then say goodbye properly. It was hell knowing she'd miss that. She brushed a kiss along his brow, the only goodbye she was going to get.
She didn't even have time to yelp when the hand back yanked her off her feet and into Logan's arms. His lips were warm, Max melted against him without a protest.
She smelled like soap. His soap. And Logan had no idea how erotic that simple fact could be. When she leaned back, her eyes shone brightly in the dim light. "I've got to go." She repeated softly, eyes still locked with his.
"Okay." He said, fingers still buried in her damp hair. "I'll see you…" He trailed off as he glanced at the illuminated numbers of the bedside alarm clock. "…In a few hours." He finished.
He looked thoroughly rumpled, his hair sticking up in messy spikes. And it was going to take every ounce of willpower to walk out of that door. She nodded, rising slowly and unsteadily. "Bye," She whispered.
By the time she was in the elevator, Logan was already back asleep.
She'd left the top down on her car, so by the time she got home her hair was dry and falling in waves around her face. Those waves were doing nothing but driving her insane as she carefully climbed up the side of the house. The light was bright, bouncing off the water, but she still had a chance of sneaking in without anyone noticing. Zack, Syl, and Krit were undoubtedly still asleep, so Jhondie and Zane were her only two worries. She was less than two steps from her bedroom window when she heard the voice behind her.
"How nice of you to come home, Maxie." Syl was delighted to see Max's shoulder's hunch forward defensively. She'd stayed up all night to seek her revenge and it looked like it was about to pay off.
Max turned to see Syl leaning out Zane's window, arms crossed on the windowsill, smiling idly. "How was your night, sister dear? Must have been action packed for you to have been out all night." Syl asked. Her whole plan to embarrass the hell out of Max and then lock her out of the house flew out the window when Max's eyes tear-ed up. "What? What's the matter?" She asked quickly.
"He…I…nothing." Max cut her self off, brushing a finger under an eye to bat away a stray tear.
Syl's thoughts were of death and destruction when as she quickly climbed out the window. "What'd he do to you, baby sister?" She was going to castrate Logan Cale if he made Max cry. She was going to castrate him, then tell Zane what happened, and let Zane beat the hell out of him, then have Lydecker ruin his life. Then she was going to blow up his car.
"No, he didn't do anything." Max said, voice shaking. "He just didn't feel the same way about me that I did about him…it's not his fault." Max ran a hand through her hair. "I just drove around for a while…I had to clear my head."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Maxie." Syl comforted, giving Max a hug.
"Is it okay if we just not talk about this now? I just want to go get a few minutes sleep before we have to go down to San Francisco." Max asked, sniffling one final time.
"Oh, that's fine, go get some sleep." Sly comforted. "ZANE!" She shouted. "Go unlock Max's window!" They heard some muttering from his room, but finally, the window opened. Zane scowled at them both, and was about to join in on the harassing of Max, but the look on his sister and Syl's face stopped him. He silently helped Max in the window and let her climb into bed without a word.
When Zane shut her door behind him, Max grinned, then buried her face in her pillow and giggled helplessly. She was good. She was freakin' good.
Zane found Syl sitting on the corner of his bed when he re-entered his room. "What was up with that?" He asked quietly.
"Cale is a dick and I would hire hit men to go after him. But this is why we put up with Krit. He's not going to be able to walk when we're done." She'd started to pace midway through her rant. "And you are going to help. I've got to get into his car for like fifteen minutes…" She trailed off, still pacing, but her plotting became mental.
Zane smiled, but his eyes were still ice cold. If Cale hurt Max, then they'd take care of it. Syl would see to it.
But little did they know that Max was still laying in her bed, laughing hysterically, knowing exactly how good of and actress she was.
