Weasel Ninja
by Khursten Santos
based on the Hans Christen Andersen fairy tale "Frog Prince" and a bit of "beauty and the Beast" inspired by P.Rico's 'reverse' chalenge
*standard RK disclaimers apply* =====================
Once upon a time, in a land far far away... oh well, not so far, it's just Kyoto, ne? There once lived a family where everyone was beautiful. Let's just say, TOTALLY BEAUTIFUL.
The father, of whom wishes to be called "THE GALLANT AND REMARKABLY IRRESISTABLE AND HANDSOME AND WISE SWORDSMAN, HIKO SEIJURO.", kept in his grandiose abode thousands of pictures of himself, displayed in its majestic halls, and a couple of other pictures of his family, shown in his home's corridors. Seijuro loved that everything in his family is beautiful, especially his son, to whom we shall part the adjectives 'droolingly handsome', for only he, Aoshi, deserves such name.
Since this story, has namely nothing to do with THE GALLANT AND REMARKABLY IRRESISTABLE AND HANDSOME AND WISE SWORDSMAN, HIKO SEIJURO, we shall now focus on his quiet, yet droolingly handsome son, Aoshi.
Aoshi was no common guy. He was handsome, so handsome that wherever he walked, girls just drool over him, gaze at him longingly like those girls who drool over cartoon characters that they know they could never have. (note: ouch!) So beautiful was this Aoshi Shinomori, that it is believed that no woman could ever have this man! Aoshi wasn't really that much of a sociable guy. He was anti-social, so much like THE GALLANT AND REMARKABLY IRRESISTABLE AND HANDSOME AND WISE SWORDSMAN, HIKO SEIJURO, who has kept himself away from people after a disappointment of the retirement of his baka deshi. That's because only his baka deshi was baka enough to wash his grandiose manto everyday... then again those good days are gone ever since that raccoon-gril came into his life. Baka deshi, Hiko Seijuro often said when he remembers that good-for-nothing slave of his.
Going back to Aoshi, because of his beauty, no girl dared to approach him nor even talk to him. They just stare at him, like sunflowers bowing to the sun, the women of Kyoto adored him. He was like a statue, so beautiful, yet so cold... so hard... the women could find no warmth from him. He completely expressed no emotions that not even a good joke could stir him to smile. Only a few people knew why this is so. Why women adored him and not thought more of him as a mere human being gifted with a beautiful body.
On old lady once said that Aoshi's beauty wasn't a gift but rather a curse given by a Fox Doctor who cannot tolerate the arrogance of his father. She gave the GALLANT... AND WISE, HIKO SEIJURO'S son a curse that the man will remain alone in his whole life and will never bear an inheritor for the GALLANT....yadda yadda... HIKO SEIJURO. It was said that Hiko Seijuro laughed at this threat saying "Baka! Of course he wouldn't bear an inheritor, he's a man!" The Fox Doctor got so mad, that she placed a curse to the young boy to be so beautiful that he will never love a woman unless his cold posterior is melted by the love of a pure loving soul. Hiko Seijuro smirked at this thought, thinking that it would be impossible for his son because he was gifted with Seijuro's charm. But now, Aoshi-kun was 27, and the boy's still single... Hiko Seijuro's already worrying of having no inheritor for his handsome face.
Now ladies, you think, with the handsome man that is Aoshi, who wouldn't fall in love with him, ne? The question is though... in what perspecitve of love? To break the curse, the love that could only break Aoshi would be the purest of love one could ever imagine (it's LOVE love ladies, not just 'love'). You think, with Aoshi walking around the streets of Kyoto, in his cotton yukata, exposing his wonderfully clad scarred chest, who wouldn't love him? Of course then ladies, the love found in our hearts is more of a lustful love, rather than 'true love'. Admit it girls!
Aoshi hated the fact that there wasn't any woman who would love him truly, not even the author of this fanfic. (. Chigau Aoshi-sama! Chigau!). That was fine by him. The author of this fanfic has had her ecchi eyes on him. No can't deny it. She IS an officer of the AIASM-gumi. (*gryn*)
One glorious afternoon, Aoshi decided to practice his kendo in the forest, to see whether he had mastered that technique taught to him by that old perverted man in Aoiya, Okina.
He swung his blades mightily, taking his manly frustrations (at 27, with no experience with a girl and even that baka deshi got the racoon girl before he did! You should know how frustrating that can get for him!) in every swing of his sword. Somehow later, he was practicing this neat move on a tree, until that tree got cut at the bottom.
"ARAAAAAAAAAAA!" he heard from above as the tree crashed down in a loud thud.
Aoshi tried to look if there were any person found in that true, only to find a weasel, looking straight back at him.
"Kuso da na! Who the hell cut my home into pieces!?" the weasel spoke madly as the handsome Aoshi turns to the angry weasel.
"I did it." said the handsome young man to which the weasel just completely set her eyes on.
"Well that's nice." spoke the weasel. Aoshi curled his brow, wondering, what the hell is the weasel talking about? He ignored the weasel and decided to go home.
"Na, chotto matte kudasai!" the weasel called Aoshi.
"Nani?"
"Anou, you see, you wrecked my home, and well... I really don't have any place to live from here then on... so... if... if... if..." Aoshi looked closer to the weasel whose cheeks were turning pink.
"If?"
"Ah! Sou! If I could live with you and be your playmate... I mean pet!" the weasel whacked herself in the head for being so clumsy with her words. Playmate? why the hell she said playmate when in fact she's just... ermm... we'll reveal the rest later.
Aoshi didn't mind about this nonsense. What's wrong with bringing a weasel home? He nodded to the weasel and the weasel hopped to his arm and snugged close to his chest. Aoshi wondered why it did so, but nonetheless the furry animal seemed to keep him warm somehow.
And so Aoshi went home with the weasel, to which of course angered the GALL... blah blah.. Hiko Seijuro.
"What is that ugly animal doing in my household!?" shouted Hiko as the weasel woke and started to gnarl at the GALLANT... blah... Hiko Seijuro.
"I wrecked its home, and it begged me to take her along with me, so I did." Aoshi coldly spoke as he dropped his coat and walked into his room. Hiko did not understand his son, but nonetheless, if this makes him happy, and gave him lesser wrinkles, Hiko wouldn't want to think much about this.
The weasel followed suit in Aoshi's room, only to find Aoshi in his under robes. So it waited a while until it sneaked back into his room. The weasel sat comfortably in Aoshi's bed, snuggling at whatever item she could relate with the handsome young man who was now reading something.
"Na, Aoshi-sama. Do you have a girlfriend?" asked the weasel.
"iie."
The weasel was surprised upon hearing this and hopped onto Aoshi's shoulder.
"Uso! You're such a handsome man and YOU don't have a girlfriend? Iyaaaa!" the weasel ranted at Aoshi's ear to find himself amused, in a least bit with this weasel.
"Why don't you have a girlfriend?" the weasel asked more.
"Long story." Aoshi replied curtly. The weasel snickered, thinking there's got to be something more to this ne?
"You must be cursed ne?" spoke the weasel with a wry grin on its face. Aoshi was shocked to hear this, nonetheless, he still kept his cold posterior.
"Hmm... your beauty is such a curse that women just simply adore you and doesn't see the kind man inside your heart ne? Your curse won't be broken unless someone, who has of pure intention, sees this goodness in you and loves you for your goodness and not for your handsome face."
Aoshi stared at the weasel with much surprise and wonder. What a smart weasel, he thought. He found himself smiling at the thought of having a smart talking weasel for a pet.
"Na! Why are you smiling?" the weasel spoke sarcastically, although inside, the weasel was thinking "Yatta! Aoshi-sama smiled!! KIMOCHIIII!"
The weasel hopped onto Aoshi's lap and spoke "Aoshi-sama, I will put an end to this cruel fate of yours!"
Aoshi looked at the weasel who looked at him with puppy eyes.
"A weasel like you? I'm sorry but I can't marry animals." Aoshi found himself smirking at the now angry weasel who leapt in the air, shouting, "KECHO GIRI!!!"
The weasel kicked Aoshi, but to its dismay, she missed to hit Aoshi. Aoshi instead caught the weasel by his hands and stared at it. This was the most uncommon weasel he has ever seen. First, the weasel talked, second, the weasel knew of his curse, and last, the weasel knew kenpo!
"I've always watched in the forest, and saw how you practiced your kendo and kenpo with your friends. I saw how good you were with them, how you cared for them and how you treasured them as your friends. I grew to love you because you were a kind man, but I loved you more than ever when you decided to take me with you, here in your home, just proves to show how nice you really were." The weasel cried in front of Aoshi who was now filled with remorse after treating the weasel rather unkindly.
Aoshi felt guilty in hurting his pet's feelings, so he asked "What do you want weasel?"
The weasel looked into Aoshi's eyes and spoke "Kiss me, Aoshi-sama."
Aoshi, in kindness, did not hesitate to kiss the weasel. He lowered his face and his soft lips touched the dark snout of the weasel. What happened next, was magic. Like those Disney movies, there was a swirl of light that enveloped the weasel and ALAS! Aoshi found himself enveloped in the arms of a slender-looking, beautiful, graceful, sexy. flat-chested [kunais darted at khursten! aack!], kawaii young girl who kissed him back longingly, with so much love and fervour as her lips touched his. They kissed longer, with Aoshi satisfying his manly urges and the once weasel was engulfed and mesmerized by Aoshi's pheromones.
Once their lovemaking was over, Aoshi leaned towards this wonderful girl in front of him and asked, "What's your name?"
The girl blushed and said, "My name is Makimachi Misao and I am of ninja heritage. I was cursed into a weasel by an evil policeman, Saitou. He said I was too bratty and self-absorbed that he turned me into a weasel. The only way to break my curse was for a man to kiss me wholeheartedly. And you did Aoshi-sama. You broke my curse." Aoshi looked into Misao, stroking her soft hair.
"You broke mine as well." Aoshi kissed Misao's lips once more and for all we know, with Aoshi's repressed sexual instinct, they spent a couple of days together... no details needed.
And so, with both of their curses broken, Aoshi and Misao got married. All the girls in Kyoto envied the petite flat-chested girl, but nonetheless happy to see Kyoto's Aoshi Shinomori smiling at last. Hiko Seijuro was happy that his son was married to a somewhat pleasing girl, and is now waiting for his grandson, whom he wishes will inherit his handsome face. They did give birth to some children, to which all were beautiful. And Hiko Seijuro was happy and so was Aoshi and Misao who just can't help themselves from procreating (IYAA! AOSHI-SAMA!! IYAAA! - Misao)
And with that... Aoshi and Misao lived happily ever after.
THE END!!
