Rocket Man

Chapter 2

The Hand Of God

Author: Lockhart

E-mail: Katie@ballantyne24.freeserve.co.uk

Category: Robert Romano

Rating: PG13 2/? parts

Spoilers: Season 7 and 8

Archive: Yeah sure but please let me know first

Author's Notes: See end of fic

Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the charcters, maybe Santa will give me them for my Christmas...... Romano's past is pure fiction, I will give him a decent storyline if ER won't!!

Summary: Continuation of Rocket Man Chapter 1



** Oh no, I see

A spider's web is tangled up with me

And I lost my head

The thought of all the stupid things I'd said

Robert sneaked quietly into the house and gently closed the front door behind him. Through the glass panle, he spotted an unfamiliar red car parked outside his house but didn't give it a second thought as he threw his keys onto the neaby coffee table. Thrusting his hand from the pocket of his coat, he brought out a small velvet box containing a beautiful eternity ring. To celebrate their first wedding anniversary, Robert had bought Anais a ring with the special words 'Love, Hope and Friendship' inscribed on it. Those were the words they pledged to one another as they were wed so it made a touching gesture to celebrate one year after that very day.

Oh no, what's this?

A spider web and I'm caught in the middle

So I turn to run

The thought of all the stupid things I'd done

As he climbed up the stairs carefully so not to make a sound, he smiled to himself knowing what a wonderful surprise it would be for Anais to wake up and find the ring beside her. It's three o'clock in the morning so she should be sleeping soundly, he thought, rather frustrated that he had been forced to spend the night working instead of enjoying time with the woman he loved. As he reached the top of the stairway, he saw the bedroom light was still switched on. gaining speed with every step he took, Robert pushed open the door only to see the heartbreaking sight of his wife lying in their bed in another man's arms.

I never meant to cause you trouble

I never meant to do you wrong

Ah, well if I ever caused you trouble

Oh no I never meant to do you harm

At that very moment, Robert's heart broke in half. It almost felt as though it had been pierced with a bullet from a gun. Hurt, pain, bitterness, anger - emotion after emotion flooded his confused mind. What a complete fool he had been to spend all that time and energy into finding a perfect anniversary gift when she had been sleeping here with another man. He had felt so guilty for working so many night shifts recently when all the time she had probably been cheating on him behind his back.

Oh no, I see

A spider's web and it's me in the middle

So I twist and turn

But here am I in my little bubble

He simpply couldn't believe the sight that lay in front of his very eyes. he simply didn't want to believe it. Robert had never loved anyone with all his heart and soul the way he worshipped Anais. Well there was 'her' but that was a painful chapter in his life he had tried his best to forget about. he had always thought Anais was happy and more importantly that she loved him. Sadly this obviously wasn't the case.

I never meant to cause you trouble

I never meant to do you wrong

Ah, well if I ever caused you trouble

Oh no I never meant to do you harm

"I can explain" Anais started to speak as she saw the hurt and anger in her husband's eyes.

"Don't bother" he shook his head as he walked out of the room and out of her life.

They spun a web for me

They spun a web for me

They spun a web for me **

Robert poured out a generous measure ofcoffee for himself as he tried his best to block out the painful memory from his mind. Ever since that moment, he had never fully trusted another woman. He always had a fear of becoming too close to someone and falling in love with them. He just couldn't run the risk of being hurt so refused anyone's attempt to win his heart over. It would always remain better to grow old and alone than have your heart broken into a million tiny pieces. Love is a wonderful feeling though, Robert pondered on his lonliness as he sipped the warm coffee. I only wish I could learn to trust once more.

********

"Scalpel" Robert requested as he continued work on repairing the patient's liver.

"Suction" Elizabeth ordered as she assisted the male surgeon.

"So Lizzie" he glanced up at the English woman. "How is your little nipper doing?"

"Ella is fine" she answered politely.

"It must be fun having Greene's daughter Rachel around. You can all be one big happy family now" he grinned sarcastically.

"She can be a handful at times but I do enjoy her company" Elizabeth replied.

"Oh I know what teenagers can be like" Robert continued. "My neice is fifteen and all she is interested in at the moment is her boyfriend. Used to be a lovely girl until she fell in with the wrong crowd. I blame the parents myself. Kids need discipline and if the parents can't provide it.........."

"Are you trying to insinuate that Mark is a bad parent?" Elizabeth snapped as she defended her husband's honour.

"No, I'm sure Greene is the doting father" Robert smirked as he tried to stop the patient's internal bleeding. "Lizzie, I'll tir off the vessel, you suture the upper tear"

"Dr Corday" Shirley entered the operating room. "Dr Greene just phoned to let you know he will be late for your dinner plans as he's had to attend a pretty major RTA"

"Thank you Shirley" the female surgeon smiled.

"Ah how sweet" Robert mocked. "Greene letting his darling wife know he'll be late home. Life must be just one lovey dovey chapter for the pair of you" Despite his cruel, sarcastic comments, Robert actually felt envious of the couple. Deep down he wished he had that kind of relationship with a woman. A relationship built on trust, love, communication and friendship. Mark and Elizabeth obviously adored one another causing the male surgeon to feel pangs of jealousy and question wither he really wished to spend life alone.

"Robert, Robert!" Elizabeth snapped the man out of his deep thoughts and quickly brought his attention back to the patient. He looked up at the woman and immediately saw 'her' face yet again. The long, silky, curly hair, the small, pale face, the sparkling emerald eyes, the beautiful heartwarming smile.........it was all too familiar. "Robert are you okay?" he heard the concern in her voice.

"I'm fine" he replied quietly. "Just fine. Little more suction please"

********

Robert placed the oen down on the desk and threw the chart he had just finished onto the increasing pile of paperwork that lay around him. Usually he was a very organised man but lately he had found it hard to concentrate on anything other than the many different memories that constantly flooded his mind.

** "You idiot!" his father cursed. "You clumy, stupid boy!"

"I'm sorry dad" young Robert cried, tears forming at the corner of his eyes. He reached down to the floor and collected a handful of pieces of the broken vase. By accident he had knocked it over whilst playing a game of soldiers on the landing of the stairs. "I'll buy a new vase, I promise"

"That's not the point" Neil growled as he pushed his son to the ground. "I told you to be careful when playing your silly, childish games. I warned you didn't I?"

"I'm sorry" the boy whimpered, avoiding the evil glare emitted from the older man's eyes.

"Shut up!" the father screamed at the top of his voice as his foot quickly found Robert's stomach. As he kicked him hard in the ribs, the young boy lay on the floor in agony, crying from the pain and absolute fear. "This will teach you to listen to me in the future" Neil continued, picking his son up from the floor and pushing him hard against the wall. "Learn to respect your father" The tears trickled down the boy's cheeks as he received a final punch on the mouth before Neil walked away. Robert collapsed to the ground in shock and terror. How could his own dad be so cruel as to beat him black and blue for knocking over an ornament? If he was ever to have children in the future, he would show them love and compassion. He would be nice and considerate to others so not to become another Neil Romano. Surely there had to be a better life awaiting Robert? Surely? **

Robert sighed deeply as he clearly remembered the horrific scene. The young boy's words never did come true. He didn't care about others or make an effort to get along with people. Over the years he had made arrogant, sexist remarks intent on hurting his victims and controlled his staff like puppets, terrifing them with his great power. He had simply turned into a monster, just like his father.

********

Robert strolled down the surgical corridor with his white lab coat flaring behind him. Today had been an especially busy day in the OR, there had been a major RTA and a few patients were in a very critical condition.

"Excuse me" a voice squeaked as the male surgeon reached the reception of the surgical floor. He turned around to meet the puzzled face of a young man.

"Yes?" Robert replied as he folded his arms, tugging at his gold stethoscope with one hand to correct it's position around his shoulders.

"I'm Benjamin Richards, a new thrid year surgical student" the man nevously introduced himself.

"I'm Robert Romano, Chief Of Staff" the older surgeon said sharply, making well sure that his position as the student's boss was made well clear.

"I'm looking for a........Dr Peter benton" the student looked down at the piece of paper he was holding tightly. "I'm assigned to him"

"Well bad luck because Pete is away fighting valiantly in the courts for custody of his son" Robert answered with just the slightest bit of sarcasm. "My money is on the other guy though. What's his name?" he paused to think for a moment. "Reggie, Rog.......... ah I'm sure it's not that important. As you'll learn Peter is not a man to back down easily whilst fighting, but he is a super duper guy"

"Ah ha" Benjamin nodded, not particulary understanding Romano's jokes. "So what shall I do then?"

"I'll let Lizzie hold your hand for today until Peter decides he actually wants to return to work. Go down to the ER and ask for Elizabeth Corday. Lovely, lovely woman, great figure as well. I'm telling you Benji, you wouldn't believe she just had a kid a few months ago when you see her" Robert walked away laughing half-heartilly at his treatment of the poor student. As he went to scrub in for a Triple A, instant regret swept over him. He remembered how hard it had been for him when he was a student himself. Residents making you do all their 'scut' work, attendings laughing at your incompetence. It was when he was a student though that he met 'her'. Beautiful Julianne. even the name made his heart flutter. She was such a wonderful, exceptional woman - kind, beautiful, caring, loving and friendly. She was truly the only woman who ever really captured his heart. She would probably remain the only woman because nobody could ever replace Julianne Kendall. Nobody. If only she was still there.

********

Robert looked down upon the small gravestone that stood before him. It was a plain headstone apart from the tiny angel inscribed above the woman's name. Her long, grand wings stretched behind her small body, making her seem ready to take flight at any moment. Robert placed his black, leather gloves in the pocket of his coat and touched the angel with his fingers. He hadn't visited this grave for months now. He felt terrible for not coming here often but the burden of guilt he carried around with him always stopped him from doing so. 'Kate Alexandra Romano' His little sister. She had died o Christmas Day when Robert was only a mere ten years old. It had been a terrible accident but he always blamed himself for not looking after her properly. He was her older brother so it was his duty to protect her. "Mom arrived a few days ago" he spoke quietly as tiny snowflakes fell from the dark sky around him. "I still wish you were here too Kate. I kept thinking that any moment you would just walk through the doors of my house and join us for Thanksgiving. You didn't deserve to die, you were so young and precious. It should have been me who was hurt, not you. I mean just look at the mess I have made with my life. I have lost everyone I ever loved because of my own faults. I drive evryone I am ever close to away. You wouldn't have made this mistake, you were just my perfect little sister. There's no point in me apologising to you, a thousand sorries won't correct the mistake I made that day. It certainly won't bring you back either. I would give anything just to have you back home for Christmas. Anything at all. I don't know what to do with my life anymore Kate, I've come to a crossroad and for once I don't know which way to turn. I have a great job, great pay, a lovely house.........but I'm not happy. The one person who made me happy is long gone, just like you are. All I want to do is to be able to move on, to find that happpiness again. But I'm scared. Really, really scared of what the future might bring. Maybe I'm supposed to live my life like this, maybe it's the hand of God. Perhaps I can change the future though, and I am determined I will. Kate I promise you this, I will"

Author's Notes: The song used at the beginning was Coldplay 'Trouble' Excellent song from an excellent band!! So will Robert change his life around? What exactly happened to his sister Kate? Who was Julianne? What resemblance did she have to Elizabeth? What happened to his wife Anais? And more secrets does Robert hide about his childhood? Find out in Chapter 3 of Rocket Man!! Feedback and ideas are very welcome, please let me know what you think about this fic.