The Marauders: In the Beginning
Chapter Two: Remus



Disclaimer: All characters were created by J. K. Rowling, not me.



Remus had barely eaten anything at dinner. He was feeling sick, his face feverishly hot, but he didn't go to the nurse. She wouldn't have been able to do much to help.

Back in the boy's dormitory, Remus had half a mind to collapse on his bed at that very moment, but he fought it. Instead, he crossed the room, pushed open the window, and leaned out into the cool night air, staring at the moon.

Remus hated being different. He couldn't stand having a secret that must be kept from everyone. It meant never letting his guard down, and never knowing what it was like to have a close friend. The visit that afternoon with the headmaster had hardly made him feel any better.

For one thing, what if part of the plan failed? Remus could hardly bear to imagine it. Unless everything worked perfectly in accordance with the headmaster's plan, there was no telling how bad the damage would be.

He appeared such a harmless young boy. But the reality of the situation was that Remus Lupin was a danger to everyone around him.

Remus sat there staring out the window for quite a while. He lost track of what time it was. The moon had risen further up into the night sky. Leaning over a little further to get a good look at the grounds, he spotted a small, rather pathetic little tree that was just beginning to spring up.

Remus heaved a great sigh, his mind filled with doubts.

At that moment, James and Sirius walked into the room. "Hi, Remus," said Sirius.

"Didn't know you were in here." Remus was a faded silhouette in the dim moonlight streaming in through the window. He turned when the others greeted him, suddenly snapping back to reality, and gave a small, awkward wave.

"Er... d'you always sit in the dark like this? OW!" James jabbed his friend in the ribs. "What he means is, would you mind if we lit a few candles or something? It's a bit dark."

"I don't mind," said Remus.

James got out his wand eagerly, but the happiness on his face disintegrated as he realized he hadn't yet learned any spells that would be of use. "What're you waiting for, James?" asked Sirius.

"Aduro," said Remus, who had gotten out his wand. Fire jumped to each of the candles on the walls, shining bright as the flames began to blaze steadily. "Wow!" exclaimed James and Sirius in unison. They were first years, after all, so regardless of any previous exposure to magic at home, they were still very impressed to see someone their age perform what looked like an advanced spell. "Where did you learn that?"

"Er... in class," Remus admitted, smiling. "Charms. Yesterday. It's simple, really."

"Oh," muttered James. "Right." Paying attention in class - why hadn't he thought of that?

"So, what's up?" Sirius asked casually. "We saw you go at dinner. You left a full plate of Hogwarts cookin'!" He patted his stomach. "Are you feeling alright?"

Remus laughed, but he was looking off into the distance. "I'm feeling a little ill tonight," he said. "I couldn't finish my dinner... must be a fever or something coming on."

"Why not go to Madam Pomfrey?" James suggested.

Remus shrugged. "Thanks," he said cheerfully, smiling, "but I'll be alright in a day or so. Anyway, I'd be sick either way, so it might as well not be in that stuffy old room, right?" By the tone of his voice, he didn't really want to continue with the subject.

"Well, hope you feel better soon," Sirius said, after a brief silence, with a polite smile.

"Thanks. I'm sure I will." Remus yawned. "Guess I should get a bit of rest now," he said. "Good night."

"'Night," replied the two boys as Remus drew the curtains around his four- poster. After changing into his pajamas, he got into bed and pulled up the covers, but lay awake for a short time listening to James and Sirius. They were still talking.

"Hey, James... what's up with you and that redhead?"

Remus didn't know it, but James was blushing. "Nothing," he said.

"Sure, sure... that explains why she was gawking at you and batting her eyelashes." Sirius stopped a moment to enjoy the effect these words had. James was turning very red. Sirius added, "Yeah, James, I saw," before his friend could reply.

"It's just Lily," James said hurriedly. "You're crazy! I don't like her! I mean... she is nice, and everything... but, er... prob'ly got some silly crush on me, you know."

"Yeah, maybe. Or maybe you're just a little too proud to admit that it's the other way around?"

"Come on, man, get ahold of yourself! I'm only eleven!"

"Sure, sure."

"Would you stop saying that?"

"Why, sure, James, whatever you say!"

This went on quite some time before James and Sirius fell silent. "D'you think he's asleep now?" James whispered. Remus had gone to bed earlier than most of the other Gryffindors, because he wasn't feeling well, so there was still plenty of time for the rest of the students, who were still in the common room, before they had to turn in.

"I reckon he is," Sirius replied, in a quiet tone.

He wasn't.

"Did you see him when we came in? Just sitting there all by himself. Made me feel kinda... I dunno... bad."

By now, Remus could feel his face and ears burning not with sickness, but with an emotion like anger, lacking in the same kind of intensity, but still there - a dull and throbbing ache. They pitied him. Was that why they had been hanging around more than usual?

"Yeah," James agreed. "But... something tells me he can take care of himself. I mean, he might not look it, and things can't be easy for him, but I bet you he's been through a lot."

Sirius chuckled quietly. "Strong or not, maybe all he needs is a couple of friends like us looking out for him," he said.

As Remus heard this, the angry feeling gradually began to dissipate, until it had vanished altogether. Dumbledore had warned him that day not to tell anyone about his "special circumstances." But until that night, Remus had never even had the opportunity to reveal this secret to others, because no one had ever given him a second thought.

He would never be normal again, but maybe he was finally beginning to belong. And that, he thought, couldn't be all bad. Just as long as he kept his secret... everything would be fine...

Finally, he closed his eyes for a bit of much-needed rest.



A/N: At this point in time, I've only finished two chapters, but I'm working on the third and it should be up soon. Comments or constructive criticism would be appreciated, but no flames, please! =)