By the fourth game, Allosia had managed to loose by less than twenty stones. While not enough to reduce her handicap, it was enough to see that at least initially, she would learn quickly. Even if he had ten years of experience on her with this, it was important for her to catch up, to be the equal she was not when their friendship first began.

"Do you want to play again?" he asked, looking up from the just cleared board.

"You're tired," she said.

"I find Go to be exceptionally mentally strenuous."

Allosia wavered for a moment and nodded.

"The more you understand it, the harder it gets. You'll see."

She chuckled.

"What?" he asked, more confused than annoyed.

"It's a bit like you. Doesn't seem that complicated at first." She rolled her eyes as she finished the sentence.

"Please tell me that of all the dreadful opinions that exist out there about me that simple isn't one of them."

"Not really. But it wouldn't surprise me if people look at you and decide you're just afraid of people, or jealous of everyone or hate yourself and let it go at that."

He smirked. "Without asking why."

Allosia nodded. "Without wondering who you are when you're alone. Without considering if the words in your head are different than the ones that come out of your mouth."

"You go too far, Allosia, I assure you most of my commentary is very well considered."

"You know what I mean."

"I wish you wouldn't always bow out of arguments like that."

"But it's true."

"It makes you look weak."

Allosia tried not to bristle at the disgust in his voice. "But what do you know?"

"That your tenacity makes you dangerous, to everyone, including yourself. That your intuition is good enough to make the word mean something. That I am constantly blessed and mystified by your presence." He smiled, as if to ask if this was what she wanted to hear, but then his face shifted in a kindly manner. It was all true. And he adored her for it. "What is it you want with me anyway?"

"You mean other than the sex?" She winced at the artlessness of her dodge.

"You mean other than the frustration?" he said with a chuckle.

"Fine." She'd have to come up with something. She knew he'd just sit there, staring at her over his steepled fingers until she did. She sighed. "A refuge, it seems."

"From?"

"The slow, the stupid, the pointless."

"The students you mean?" There was immense amusement and pleasure in his voice.

"No, I don't mean the students." She was irritated. "I mean the world out there, hell, the world in here," and she pressed her index finger hard to the front of her head.

He nodded solemnly.

She lowered her hand from her face and reached out across the board for his hand. Looking him in the eye, with a steady gaze that demanded he join her in its openness, she whispered his name and said, "I know not what either of us wants or what either of us is capable of, but with no requests, no intentions, I want you to know that I do love you, my friend, my very dear friend."

He squeezed her hand. "You honour me," he said. "And I care for you as I do no other creature on this earth. I will not echo your words back at you though, Allosia, not because they are not true, and not because I don't feel them, I do, but echoes are both meaningless and dangerous, and I wish to gift you with those words, when I am strong enough to allow them from myself unbidden."

She nodded and closed her eyes very slowly. Opening them again, and looking right at him, she gave him the biggest smile she could manage without opening her mouth. There was a sadness to the moment, a reason it was happening now, and they both knew it.

He got up from the table without releasing her hand. "Sleep now," he said, tilting his head towards the alcove.